The Internet Is A Playground Part 12

You can make your own rocket fuel at home using a three-to-one ratio of chlorine and brake fluid.

s.p.a.ce shuttle Endeavor Endeavor contains living quarters for eighteen people and features a gymnasium and squash courts. contains living quarters for eighteen people and features a gymnasium and squash courts.

Due to the shuttle taking off in the Florida swamps, several hundred ducks are incinerated during each launch. NASA employees often eat them following a successful takeoff.

It is obviously that your a foggot Sometimes people e-mail me to tell me how their day is going; other times they e-mail me to tell me that I am a d.i.c.khead and my website is stupid, which I am already aware of due to many preceding e-mails stating the same thing. I don't harbor behind a fake name, and my e-mail address is clearly listed, so it is a simple process for people like George to express their opinions to me; but as I never initiate an e-mail correspondence, simply reply, I am not always sure why they bother.If I were heteroflexible, I am pretty sure I would already be aware of the fact; and if I'm not, stating that I am is in error, so either way it is a pointless exercise. I don't e-mail random people telling them that they have a pet cat named Charles on the off chance they do and are not aware of it.

From: George Lewis George Lewis Date: Thursday 2 September 2010 6:51 p.m. Thursday 2 September 2010 6:51 p.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: No Subject No Subject

I have read your website and it is obviously that your a foggot.

From: David Thorne David Thorne Date: Thursday 2 September 2010 8:07 p.m. Thursday 2 September 2010 8:07 p.m.

To: George Lewis George Lewis Subject: Re: No Subject Re: No Subject

Dear George,

Thank you for your e-mail. While I have no idea what a "foggot" is, I will a.s.sume it is a term of endearment and appreciate your taking time out from calculating launch trajectories or removing temporal lobe tumors to contact me with such. I have attached a signed photo as per your request.

Regards, David

From: George Lewis George Lewis Date: Thursday 2 September 2010 8:49 p.m. Thursday 2 September 2010 8:49 p.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: No Subject Re: Re: No Subject

I didnt ask for a photo f.a.g. and I meant f.a.ggot you h.o.m.o so you can shove your signed photo up your a.s.s. You would probably enjoy that. LOL!!!! Go suck your boyfriends d.i.c.k in a gay club.

From: David Thorne David Thorne Date: Thursday 2 September 2010 9:17 p.m. Thursday 2 September 2010 9:17 p.m.

To: George Lewis George Lewis Subject: Re: Re: Re: No Subject Re: Re: Re: No Subject

Dear George,

While I do not have a boyfriend, I do have a friend who is h.o.m.os.e.xual, and I once asked him, "Do you ever think about having s.e.x with me because you are gay?" to which he replied, "Do you ever think about having s.e.x with Rosie O'Donnell because you are straight? Same thing." If I were inclined to have a boyfriend, I would select one my height and weight to save having to readjust the driver's seat position. I am not interested in doubling my wardrobe, as I wear the same outfit every day to facilitate speedy identification should I ever be in a boating accident.

Although I have never been to a gay club as such, when I was about ten, a friend and I constructed a clubhouse in my backyard using timber stolen from a building site down the street. Our club, which we named The Kiss Club due to a certain band being popular at the time, employed an intensive entry exam in which the applicant had to know all the words to "Love Gun" and not be a girl. As we had no other friends and knew no girls apart from my sister, this made sense at the time. The next day after school, having managed to recruit several new members by promising laminated membership cards and changing the entry exam to "Knowing the names of the band members," we all rode to my place to partic.i.p.ate in our first club meeting only to discover my sister, outraged by the "No girls" rule and armed with four liters of paint left over from a recent bedroom redesign, had painted the clubhouse pink and added "ing" to the end of the word "Kiss."

Also, despite your inference, I have managed, up to this point, to avoid putting most things in my bottom. Primarily due to the possibility that I might enjoy it, get carried away, and move on to watermelons or midsize family autos. When I was about eight, I drew a face on my hand and practiced kissing it, which I will admit is a little gay; and I have often thought there would be advantages to h.o.m.os.e.xuality, such as Abercrombie & Fitch reward points, successful couch fabric selection capabilities, and the gift of dance. With or without a top on. This would be extremely useful if I needed five hundred dollars and saw a poster advertising a dance compet.i.tion with a first prize of five hundred dollars.

Regards, David From: George Lewis George Lewis Date: Thursday 2 September 2010 9:33 p.m. Thursday 2 September 2010 9:33 p.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: No Subject Re: Re: Re: Re: No Subject

If you livd close by gayc.u.n.t I would be over your place with 5 friends tonight.

From: David Thorne David Thorne Date: Thursday 2 September 2010 10:08 p.m. Thursday 2 September 2010 10:08 p.m.

To: George Lewis George Lewis Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: No Subject Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: No Subject

Dear George,

I knew we would get along well. We have known each other for only one day and already you are organizing a party. I am not sure where Gayc.u.n.t is, but if I did "livd close by" to it, I would definitely be up for that.

We could all sit outside on banana lounges discussing the best way to rebuild a 4WD transmission and agree, through shared stories of conquests supporting our a.s.sertions, that there is no basis to the proposition that those least a.s.sured of their persuasions are the first to condemn others for theirs. Although the ideal would be for everyone to be capable of love without fear, restraint, or obligation, clearly this does not apply to h.o.m.os.e.xuals.

At no time during the night would you comment on how much you liked my Abercrombie & Fitch pants or ask, "Is that a Marcel Breuer couch? I love the fabric selection," and when we danced, we would all leave our tops on.

Regards, David From: George Lewis George Lewis Date: Friday 3 September 2010 1:18 p.m. Friday 3 September 2010 1:18 p.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: No Subject Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: No Subject

no f.a.g I live in Charleston west virginia the best country in the world. I wasnt sying it would be a party. we would smash your f.u.c.king skull in and if you are calling me a f.a.g you can get f.u.c.ked becasue I have a girlfriend.

From: David Thorne David Thorne Date: Friday 3 September 2010 1:56 p.m. Friday 3 September 2010 1:56 p.m.

To: George Lewis George Lewis Subject: Yeehaw, y'all Yeehaw, y'all

Dear George,

Is she also your sister? I checked out her photos on your Facebook page, and while she is not exactly my type, I accept that other people have different preferences. Even when those preferences include facial tattoos and stretch pants constructed from sufficient material to shelter a small village. And their livestock.

Some men enjoy dancing with other men without their tops on while others prefer the company of a woman two KFC Family Buckets away from upsetting the planet's rotational axis.

I read somewhere that Eskimos prefer women of girth as they provide warmth at night. I have seen the size of those igloos, though, and there is no way your girlfriend would make it through the opening. You could probably just construct one around her and despite the ha.s.sle of having to trudge out into the snow every day to catch and prepare the eighty seals required to maintain her ma.s.s, it would be like a kiln in there.

If I were an Eskimo, I would build my igloo next to a supermarket or on a tropical beach.

Regards, David From: George Lewis George Lewis Date: Friday 3 September 2010 2:01 p.m. Friday 3 September 2010 2:01 p.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: Re: Yeehaw, y'all Re: Yeehaw, y'all

She isnt fat you f.a.g. and that she got that tattoo is a teardrop becasue her family is dead.

From: David Thorne David Thorne Date: Friday 3 September 2010 2:06 p.m. Friday 3 September 2010 2:06 p.m.

To: George Lewis George Lewis Subject: Re: Re: Yeehaw, y'all Re: Re: Yeehaw, y'all

Did she eat them?

From: George Lewis George Lewis Date: Friday 3 September 2010 2:32 p.m. Friday 3 September 2010 2:32 p.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Yeehaw, y'all Re: Re: Re: Yeehaw, y'all