The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan Part 25

Oh, spectre, won't anything lay thee?

Though pained to deny or gainsay thee, In this case I cannot obey thee, Thou voice from the tomb!

(Dancing.) So, spectre, appalling, I bid you good-day-- Perhaps you'll be calling When pa.s.sing this way.

Your bogydom scorning, And all your love-lorning, I bid you good-morning, I bid you good-day.

ERN. (furious). My offer recalling, Your words I obey-- Your fate is appalling, And full of dismay.

To pay for this scorning I give you fair warning I'll haunt you each morning, Each night, and each day!

(Repeat Ensemble, and exeunt in opposite directions.)

Re-enter the Wedding Procession dancing.

CHORUS.

Now bridegroom and bride let us toast In a magnum of merry champagne-- Let us make of this moment the most, We may not be so lucky again.

So drink to our sovereign host And his highly intelligent reign-- His health and his bride's let us toast In a magnum of merry champagne!

SONG--BARONESS with CHORUS.

I once gave an evening party (A sandwich and cut-orange ball), But my guests had such appet.i.tes hearty That I couldn't enjoy it, enjoy it at all.

I made a heroic endeavour To look unconcerned, but in vain, And I vow'd that I never--oh never Would ask anybody again!

But there's a distinction decided--- A difference truly immense-- When the wine that you drink is provided, provided, At somebody else's expense.

So b.u.mpers--aye, ever so many-- The cost we may safely ignore!

For the wine doesn't cost us a penny, Tho' it's Pommry seventy-four!

CHORUS. So b.u.mpers--aye, ever so many--etc.

Come, b.u.mpers--aye, ever so many-- And then, if you will, many more!

This wine doesn't cost us a penny, Tho' it's Pommry, Pommry seventy-four!

Old wine is a true panacea For ev'ry conceivable ill, When you cherish the soothing idea That somebody else pays the bill!

Old wine is a pleasure that's hollow When at your own table you sit, For you're thinking each mouthful you swallow Has cost you, has cost you a threepenny-bit!

So b.u.mpers--aye, ever so many-- And then, if you will, many more!

This wine doesn't cost us a penny, Tho' it's Pommry seventy-four!

CHORUS. So, b.u.mpers--aye, ever so many--etc.

(March heard.)

LUD. (recit.). Why, who is this approaching, Upon our joy encroaching?

Some rascal come a-poaching Who's heard that wine we're broaching?

ALL. Who may this be?

Who may this be?

Who is he? Who is he? Who is he?

Enter HERALD.

HER. The Prince of Monte Carlo, From Mediterranean water, Has come here to bestow On you his beautiful daughter.

They've paid off all they owe, As every statesman oughter-- That Prince of Monte Carlo And his be-eautiful daughter!

CHORUS. The Prince of Monte Carlo, etc.

HER. The Prince of Monte Carlo, Who is so very partickler, Has heard that you're also For ceremony a stickler-- Therefore he lets you know By word of mouth auric'lar-- (That Prince of Monte Carlo Who is so very particklar)--

CHORUS. The Prince of Monte Carlo, etc.

HER. That Prince of Monte Carlo, From Mediterranean water, Has come here to bestow On you his be-eautiful daughter!

LUD. (recit.). His Highness we know not--nor the locality In which is situate his Princ.i.p.ality; But, as he guesses by some odd fatality, This is the shop for cut and dried formality!

Let him appear-- He'll find that we're Remarkable for cut and dried formality.

(Reprise of March. Exit HERALD.

LUDWIG beckons his Court.)

LUD. I have a plan--I'll tell you all the plot of it-- He wants formality--he shall have a lot of it!

(Whispers to them, through symphony.) Conceal yourselves, and when I give the cue, Spring out on him--you all know what to do!

(All conceal themselves behind the draperies that enclose the stage.)

Pompous March. Enter the PRINCE and PRINCESS OF MONTE CARLO, attended by six theatrical-looking n.o.bles and the Court Costumier.

DUET--Prince and PRINCESS.

PRINCE. We're rigged out in magnificent array (Our own clothes are much gloomier) In costumes which we've hired by the day From a very well-known costumier.

COST. (bowing). I am the well-known costumier.

PRINCESS. With a brilliant staff a Prince should make a show (It's a rule that never varies), So we've engaged from the Theatre Monaco Six supernumeraries.

n.o.bLES. We're the supernumeraries.

ALL. At a salary immense, Quite regardless of expense, Six supernumeraries!

PRINCE. They do not speak, for they break our grammar's laws, And their language is lamentable-- And they never take off their gloves, because Their nails are not presentable.

n.o.bLES. Our nails are not presentable!

PRINCESS. To account for their shortcomings manifest We explain, in a whisper bated, They are wealthy members of the brewing interest To the Peerage elevated.

n.o.bLES. To the Peerage elevated.

ALL. They're/We're very, very rich, And accordingly, as sich, To the Peerage elevated.

PRINCE. Well, my dear, here we are at last--just in time to compel Duke Rudolph to fulfil the terms of his marriage contract.

Another hour and we should have been too late.

PRINCESS. Yes, papa, and if you hadn't fortunately discovered a means of making an income by honest industry, we should never have got here at all.

PRINCE. Very true. Confined for the last two years within the precincts of my palace by an obdurate bootmaker who held a warrant for my arrest, I devoted my enforced leisure to a study of the doctrine of chances--mainly with the view of ascertaining whether there was the remotest chance of my ever going out for a walk again--and this led to the discovery of a singularly fascinating little round game which I have called Roulette, and by which, in one sitting, I won no less than five thousand francs! My first act was to pay my bootmaker--my second, to engage a good useful working set of second-hand n.o.bles--and my third, to hurry you off to Pfennig Halbpfennig as fast as a train de luxe could carry us!

PRINCESS. Yes, and a pretty job-lot of second-hand n.o.bles you've sc.r.a.ped together!

PRINCE (doubtfully). Pretty, you think? Humph! I don't know. I should say tol-lol, my love--only tol-lol. They are not wholly satisfactory. There is a certain air of unreality about them--they are not convincing.

COST. But, my goot friend, vhat can you expect for eighteenpence a day!