The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan Part 110

By my fair rays, as you're aware, Gay lovers swear--gay lovers swear, While greybeards sleep away their care, The lamp of night am I.

CHO. The lamp of night-the lamp of night.

Nicemis plays, to her delight.

Ha Ha Ha Ha.

The rarest fun and rarest fare, That ever fell to mortal share, Ha Ha Ha Ha

TIM. Mighty old Mars, the G.o.d of war, I'm destined for--I'm destined for.

A terribly famous conqueror, With sword upon his thigh.

When armies meet with eager shout And warlike rout, and warlike rout, You'll find me there without a doubt.

The G.o.d of War am I.

CHO. The G.o.d of war, the G.o.d of war Great Timidon is destined for.

Ha Ha Ha Ha The rest fun and rarest fare That ever fell to mortal share Ha Ha Ha Ha

DAPH. When, as the fruit of warlike deeds, The soldier bleed, the soldier bleeds, Calliope crowns heroic deeds, With immortality.

From mere oblivion I reclaim The soldier's name, the soldier's name And write it on the roll of fame, The muse of fame am I.

CHO. The muse of fame, the muse of fame.

Callipe is Daphne's name.

Ha Ha Ha Ha The rarest fun and rarest fare, That ever fell to mortal share.

Ha Ha Ha Ha.

TUTTI. Here's a pretty tale.

[Enter procession of old G.o.ds, they come down very much astonished at all they see, then pa.s.sing by, ascent the platform that leads to the descent at the back.]

G.o.dS. We will go, Down below, Revels rare, We will share.

Ha Ha Ha With a gay Holiday All unknown, And alone Ha Ha Ha.

TUTTI. Here's a pretty tale.

[The G.o.ds, including those who have lately entered in procession group themselves on rising ground at back. The Thespians kneeling bid them farewell.]

ACT II

SCENE-the same scene as in Act I with the exception that in place of the ruins that filled the foreground of the stage, the interior of a magnificent temple is seen showing the background of the scene of Act I, through the columns of the portico at the back. High throne. L.U.E. Low seats below it. All the subst.i.tute G.o.ds and G.o.ddesses [that is to say, Thespians] are discovered grouped in picturesque att.i.tudes about the stage, eating and drinking, and smoking and singing the following verses.

CHO. Of all symposia The best by half Upon Olympus, here await us.

We eat ambrosia.

And nectar quaff, It cheers but don't inebriate us.

We know the fallacies, Of human food So please to pa.s.s Olympian rosy, We built up palaces, Where ruins stood, And find them much more snug and cosy.

SILL. To work and think, my dear, Up here would be, The height of conscientious folly.

So eat and drink, my dear, I like to see, Young people gay--young people jolly.

Olympian food my love, I'll lay long odds, Will please your lips--those rosy portals, What is the good, my love Of being G.o.ds, If we must work like common mortals?

CHO. Of all symposia...etc.

[Exeunt all but Nicemis, who is dressed as Diana and Pretteia, who is dressed as Venus. They take Sillimon's arm and bring him down]

SILL. Bless their little hearts, I can refuse them nothing. As the Olympian stage-manager I ought to be strict with them and make them do their duty, but i can't. Bless their little hearts, when I see the pretty little craft come sailing up to me with a wheedling smile on their pretty little figure-heads, I can't turn my back on 'em. I'm all bow, though I'm sure I try to be stern.

PRET. You certainly are a dear old thing.

SILL. She says I'm a dear old thing. Deputy Venus says I'm a dear old thing.

NICE. It's her affectionate habit to describe everybody in those terms. I am more particular, but still even I am bound to admit that you are certainly a very dear old thing.

SILL. Deputy Venus says I'm a dear old thing, and Deputy Diana who is much more particular, endorses it. Who could be severe with such deputy divinities.

PRET. Do you know, I'm going to ask you a favour.

SILL. Venus is going to ask me a favour.

PRET. You see, I am Venus.

SILL. No one who saw your face would doubt it.

NICE. [aside] No one who knew her character would.

PRET. Well Venus, you know, is married to Mars.

SILL. To Vulcan, my dear, to Vulcan. The exact connubial relation of the different G.o.ds and G.o.ddesses is a point on which we must be extremely particular.

PRET. I beg your pardon--Venus is married to Mars.

NICE. If she isn't married to Mars, she ought to be.

SILL. Then that decides it--call it married to Mars.

PRET. Married to Vulcan or married to Mars, what does it signify?

SILL. My dear, it's a matter on which I have no personal feeling whatever.

PRET. So that she is married to someone.

SILL. Exactly. So that she is married to someone. Call it married to Mars.

PRET. Now here's my difficulty. Presumptios takes the place of Mars, and Presumptios is my father.

SILL. Then why object to Vulcan?

PRET. Because Vulcan is my grandfather.

SILL. But, my dear, what an objection. You are playing a part till the real G.o.ds return. That's all. Whether you are supposed to be married to your father--or your grandfather, what does it matter? This pa.s.sion for realism is the curse of the stage.