The Colloquies of Erasmus Part 89

_Con._ But then, how does it signify nothing what Garment any one wears?

_Innk._ O yes, in this Case it is very material.

_Con._ Nor is that strange; for the Laws of the very Pagans inflict a Punishment on either Man or Woman, that shall wear the Cloaths of a different s.e.x.

_Innk._ And they are in the Right for it.

_Con._ But, come on. What if an old Man of fourscore should dress himself like a Boy of fifteen; or if a young Man dress himself like an old Man, would not every one say he ought to be bang'd for it? Or if an old Woman should attire herself like a young Girl, and the contrary?

_Innk._ No doubt.

_Con._ In like Manner, if a Lay-Man should wear a Priest's Habit, and a Priest a Lay-Man's.

_Innk._ They would both act unbecomingly.

_Con._ What if a private Man should put on the Habit of a Prince, or an inferior Clergy-Man that of a Bishop? Would he act unhandsomely or no?

_Innk._ Certainly he would.

_Con._ What if a Citizen should dress himself like a Soldier, with a Feather in his Cap, and other Accoutrements of a hectoring Soldier?

_Innk._ He would be laugh'd at.

_Con._ What if any _English_ Ensign should carry a white Cross in his Colours, a _Swiss_ a red one, a _French_ Man a black one?

_Innk._ He would act impudently.

_Con._ Why then do you wonder so much at our Habit?

_Innk._ I know the Difference between a private Man and a Prince, between a Man and a Woman; but I don't understand the Difference between a Monk and no Monk.

_Con._ What Difference is there between a poor Man and a rich Man?

_Innk._ Fortune.

_Con._ And yet it would be unbecoming a poor Man to imitate a rich Man in his Dress.

_Innk._ Very true, as rich Men go now a-Days.

_Con._ What Difference is there between a Fool and a wise Man?

_Innk._ Something more than there is between a rich Man and a poor Man.

_Con._ Are not Fools dress'd up in a different Manner from wise Men?

_Innk._ I can't tell how well it becomes you, but your Habit does not differ much from theirs, if it had but Ears and Bells.

_Con._ These indeed are wanting, and we are the Fools of this World, if we really are what we pretend to be.

_Innk._ What you are I don't know; but this I know that there are a great many Fools that wear Ears and Bells, that have more Wit than those that wear Caps lin'd with Furs, Hoods, and other Ensigns of wise Men; therefore it seems a ridiculous Thing to me to make a Shew of Wisdom by the Dress rather than in Fact. I saw a certain Man, more than a Fool, with a Gown hanging down to his Heels, a Cap like our Doctors, and had the Countenance of a grave Divine; he disputed publickly with a Shew of Gravity, and he was as much made on by great Men, as any of their Fools, and was more a Fool than any of them.

_Con._ Well, what would you infer from that? That a Prince who laughs at his Jester should change Coats with him?

_Innk._ Perhaps _Decorum_ would require it to be so, if your Proposition be true, that the Mind of a Man is represented by his Habit.

_Con._ You press this upon me indeed, but I am still of the Opinion, that there is good Reason for giving Fools distinct Habits.

_Innk._ What Reason?

_Con._ That no Body might hurt them, if they say or do any Thing that's foolish.

_Innk._ But on the contrary, I won't say, that their Dress does rather provoke some People to do them Hurt; insomuch, that oftentimes of Fools they become Mad-Men. Nor do I see any Reason, why a Bull that gores a Man, or a Dog, or a Hog that kills a Child, should be punish'd, and a Fool who commits greater Crimes should be suffered to live under the Protection of his Folly. But I ask you, what is the Reason that you are distinguished from others by your Dress? For if every trifling Cause is sufficient to require a different Habit, then a Baker should wear a different Dress from a Fisherman, and a Shoemaker from a Taylor, an Apothecary from a Vintner, a Coachman from a Mariner. And you, if you are Priests, why do you wear a Habit different from other Priests? If you are Laymen, why do you differ from us?

_Con._ In antient Times, Monks were only the purer Sort of the Laity, and there was then only the same Difference between a Monk and a Layman, as between a frugal, honest Man, that maintains his Family by his Industry, and a swaggering Highwayman that lives by robbing. Afterwards the Bishop of _Rome_ bestow'd Honours upon us; and we ourselves gave some Reputation to the Habit, which now is neither simply laick, or sacerdotal; but such as it is, some Cardinals and Popes have not been ashamed to wear it.

_Innk._ But as to the _Decorum_ of it, whence comes that?

_Con._ Sometimes from the Nature of Things themselves, and sometimes from Custom and the Opinions of Men. Would not all Men think it ridiculous for a Man to wear a Bull's Hide, with the Horns on his Head, and the Tail trailing after him on the Ground?

_Innk._ That would be ridiculous enough.

_Con._ Again, if any one should wear a Garment that should hide his Face, and his Hands, and shew his privy Members?

_Innk._ That would be more ridiculous than the other.

_Con._ The very Pagan Writers have taken Notice of them that have wore Cloaths so thin, that it were indecent even for Women themselves to wear such. It is more modest to be naked, as we found you in the Stove, than to wear a transparent Garment.

_Innk._ I fancy that the whole of this Matter of Apparel depends upon Custom and the Opinion of People.

_Con._ Why so?

_Innk._ It is not many Days ago, since some Travellers lodg'd at my House, who said, that they had travelled through divers Countries lately discovered, which are wanting in the antient Maps. They said they came to an Island of a very temperate Air, where they look'd upon it as the greatest Indecency in the World, to cover their Bodies.

_Con._ It may be they liv'd like Beasts.

_Innk._ Nay, they said they liv'd a Life of great Humanity, they liv'd under a King, they attended him to Work every Morning daily, but not above an Hour in a Day.

_Con._ What Work did they do?

_Innk._ They pluck'd up a certain Sort of Roots that serves them instead of Bread, and is more pleasant and more wholsome than Bread; and when this was done, they every one went to his Business, what he had a Mind to do. They bring up their Children religiously, they avoid and punish Vices, but none more severely than Adultery.

_Con._ What's the Punishment?

_Innk._ They forgive the Women, for it is permitted to that s.e.x. But for Men that are taken in Adultery, this is the Punishment, that all his Life after, he should appear in publick with his privy Parts covered.

_Con._ A mighty Punishment indeed!

_Innk._ Custom has made it to them the very greatest Punishment that is.