The Colloquies of Erasmus Part 83

_Po._ A small Estate came to me by the Death of my Father, and I work hard with my Hands.

_Eu._ Have you given over Study then?

_Po._ Altogether. I have brought a n.o.ble to Nine Pence, and of a Master of seven Arts, I am become a Workman of but one Art.

_Eu._ Poor Man! So many Times you were obliged to be a Mourner, and so many Times a Widower.

_Po._ I never liv'd single above ten Days, and the new Wife always put an End to the Mourning for the old one. So, you have in Truth the Epitome of my Life; and I wish _Pampirus_ would give us a Narration of his Life; he bears his Age well enough: For if I am not mistaken, he is two or three Years older than I.

_Pa._ Truly I'll tell it ye, if you are at Leisure to hear such a Romance.

_Eu._ Nay, it will be a Pleasure to hear it.

_Pa._ When I went Home my antient Father began to press me earnestly to enter into some Course of Life, that might make some Addition to what I had; and after long Consultation Merchandizing was what I took to.

_Po._ I admire this Way of Life pleas'd you more than any other.

_Pa._ I was naturally greedy to know new Things, to see various Countries and Cities, to learn Languages, and the Customs and Manners of Men, and Merchandize seem'd the most apposite to that Purpose. From which a general Knowledge of Things proceeds.

_Po._ But a wretched one, which is often purchas'd with Inconveniencies.

_Pa._ It is so, therefore my Father gave me a good large Stock, that I might begin to trade upon a good Foundation: And at the same Time I courted a Wife with a good Fortune, but handsome enough to have gone off without a Portion.

_Eu._ Did you succeed?

_Pa._ No. Before I came Home, I lost all, Stock and Block.

_Eu._ Perhaps by Shipwreck.

_Pa._ By Shipwreck indeed. For we run upon more dangerous Rocks than those of _Scilly_.

_Eu._ In what Sea did you happen to run upon that Rock? Or what is the Name of it?

_Pa._ I can't tell what Sea 'tis in, but it is a Rock that is infamous for the destruction of a great many, they call it _Alea_ [Dice, the Devil's Bones] in _Latin_, how you call it in _Greek_ I can't tell.

_Eu._ O Fool!

_Pa._ Nay, my Father was a greater Fool, to trust a young Fop with such a Sum of Money.

_Gl._ And what did you do next?

_Pa._ Why nothing at all, but I began to think of hanging myself.

_Gl._ Was your Father so implacable then? For such a Loss might be made up again; and an Allowance is always to be made to one that makes the first Essay, and much more it ought to be to one that tries all Things.

_Pa._ Tho' what you say may be true, I lost my Wife in the mean Time.

For as soon as the Maid's Parents came to understand what they must expect, they would have no more to do with me, and I was over Head and Ears in Love.

_Gl._ I pity thee. But what did you propose to yourself after that?

_Pa._ To do as it is usual in desperate Cases. My Father had cast me off, my Fortune was consum'd, my Wife was lost, I was every where call'd a Sot, a Spendthrift, a Rake and what not? Then I began to deliberate seriously with myself, whether I should hang myself or no, or whether I should throw myself into a Monastery.

_Eu._ You were cruelly put to it! I know which you would chuse, the easier Way of Dying.

_Pa._ Nay, sick was I of Life itself; I pitched upon that which seem'd to me the most painful.

_Gl._ And yet many People cast themselves into Monasteries, that they may live more comfortably there.

_Pa._ Having got together a little Money to bear my Charges, I stole out of my own Country.

_Gl._ Whither did you go at last?

_Pa._ Into _Ireland_, there I became a Canon Regular of that Order that wear Linnen outwards and Woollen next their Skin.

_Gl._ Did you spend your Winter in _Ireland_?

_Pa._ No. But by that Time I had been among them two Months I sail'd into _Scotland_.

_Gl._ What displeas'd you among them?

_Pa._ Nothing, but that I thought their Discipline was not severe enough for the Deserts of one, that once Hanging was too good for.

_Gl._ Well, what past in _Scotland_?

_Pa._ Then I chang'd my Linnen Habit for a Leathern one, among the Carthusians.

_Eu._ These are the Men, that in Strictness of Profession, are dead to the World.

_Pa._ It seem'd so to me, when I heard them Singing.

_Gl._ What? Do dead Men sing? But how many Months did you spend among the _Scots_?

_Pa._ Almost six.

_Gl._ A wonderful Constancy.

_Eu._ What offended you there?

_Pa._ Because it seem'd to me to be a lazy, delicate Sort of Life; and then I found there, many that were not of a very sound Brain, by Reason of their Solitude. I had but a little Brain myself, and I was afraid I should lose it all.

_Po._ Whither did you take your next Flight?

_Pa._ Into France: There I found some cloath'd all in Black, of the Order of St. Benedict, who intimate by the Colour of their Cloaths, that they are Mourners in this World; and among these, there were some, that for their upper Garment wore Hair-Cloth like a Net.

_Gl._ A grievous Mortification of the Flesh.

_Pa._ Here I stay'd eleven Months.

_Eu._ What was the Matter that you did not stay there for good and all?