The Art of Politicks Part 5

Can it be difficult our Minds to show, Where all the Difference is, Yes, or No?

[48] In all Professions, Time and Pains give Skill, Without hard Study, dare Physicians kill?

Can he that ne'er read Statutes or Reports, Give Chamber-Counsel, or urge Law in Courts?

But ev'ry Whipster knows Affairs of State, Nor fears on nicest Subjects to debate.

A Knight of eighteen hundred pounds a year-- Who minds his Head, if his Estate be clear?

Sure he may speak his mind, and tell the _House_, He matters not the Government a Louse.

Lack-learning Knights, these things are safely said To Friends in private, at the _Bedford-Head_: But in the _House_, before your Tongue runs on, Consult _Sir James_, _Lord William_'s dead and gone.

Words to recall is in no Member's power, One single word may send you to the _Tower_.

[49] The wrong'd to help, the lawless to restrain, Thrice ev'ry Year, in ancient _Egbert_'s Reign, The _Members_ to the _Mitchelgemot_ went, In after Ages call'd the _Parliament_; Early the _Mitchelgemot_ did begin T' enroll their Statutes, on a Parchment Skin: For impious Treason hence no room was left, For Murder, for Polygamy, or Theft: Since when the Senates power both s.e.xes know From Hops and Claret, Soap and Callico.

Now wholesom Laws young Senators bring in 'Gainst _Goats_, _Attornies_, _Bribery_, and _Gin_.

Since such the nature of the _British_ State, The power of _Parliament_ so old and great, Ye 'Squires and _Irish_ Lords, 'tis worth your care) To be return'd for City, Town, or Shire,) By Sheriff, Bailiff, Constable, or Mayor.)

[50] Some doubt, which to a Seat has best Pretence, A man of Substance, or a man of Sense: But never any Member feats will do, Without a Head-piece and a Pocket too; Sense is requir'd the depth of Things to reach, And Money gives Authority to Speech.

[51] A Man of Bus'ness won't 'till ev'ning dine; Abstains from Women, Company, and Wine: From _Fig_'s new Theatre he'll miss a Night, Tho' c.o.c.ks, and Bulls, and _Irish_ Women fight: Nor sultry Sun, nor storms of soaking Rain, The Man of Bus'ness from the _House_ detain: Nor speaks he for no reason but to say, I am a _Member_, and I spoke to day.

I speak sometimes, you'll hear his Lordship cry, Because Some speak that have less Sense than I.

[52] The Man that has both Land and Money too May wonders in a Trading Borough do: They'll praise his Ven'son, and commend his Port,) Turn their two former Members into Sport,) And, if he likes it, Satyrize the Court.) But at a Feast 'tis difficult to know From real Friends an undiscover'd Foe; The man that swears he will the Poll secure, And p.a.w.ns his Soul that your Election's sure, Suspect that man: beware, all is not right, He's, ten to one, a Corporation-Bite.

[53] Alderman _Pond_, a downright honest Man, Would say, I cannot help you, or I can: To spend your Money, Sir, is all a jest; Matters are settled, set your heart at rest: We've made a Compromise, and, Sir, you know, That sends one Member _High_, and t'other _Low_.

But if his good Advice you would not take, He'd scorn your Supper, and your Punch forsake: Leave you of mighty Interest to brag, And poll two Voices like _Sir Robert f.a.g_.

[54] _Parliamenteering_ is a sort of Itch, That will too oft unwary Knights bewitch.

Two good Estates Sir _Harry Clodpole_ spent; Sate thrice, but spoke not once, in Parliament: Two good Estates are gone--Who'll take his word?

Oh! should his Uncle die, he'd spend a third: He'd buy a House, his happiness to crown, Within a mile of some good _Borough-Town_; Tag, Rag, and Bobtail to Sir _Harry_'s run, Men that have Votes, and Women that have none: Sons, Daughters, Grandsons, with his Honour dine; He keeps a Publick-House without a Sign.

Coolers and Smiths extol th' ensuing Choice, And drunken Taylors boast their right of Voice.

Dearly the free-born neighbourhood is bought, They never leave him while he's worth a groat: So Leeches stick, nor quit the bleeding wound, Till off they drop with Skinfuls to the ground.

_FINIS_.

[1] Humano capiti cervicem Pictor equinam Jungere si velit, & varias inducere plumas, Undiq; collatis membris, ut turpiter atrum Desinat in piscem mulier formosa superne: Spectatum admissi, risum teneatis, amici?

Credite, Pisones, isti tabulae fore librum Persimilem, cujus, velit aegri somnia, vanae Fingentur species. Pictoribus atq; Poetis Quidlibet audendi semper fuit aequa potestas; Scimus, & hanc veniam petimusq; damusq; vicissim: Sed non ut placidis coeant immitia, non ut Serpentes avibus geminentur, tigribus agni.

[2] Incoeptis gravibus plerumq; & magna professis Purpureus late qui splendeat unus & alter a.s.suitur pannus, c.u.m lucus & ara Dianae, Aut properantis aquae per amaenos ambitus agros, Aut flumen Rhenum, aut pluvius describitur arcus; Sed nunc non erar his locus: & forta.s.se cupressum, Scis simulare, quid hoc, si fractis enatat exspes Navibus, aere dato qui pingitur? amphora caepit Inst.i.tui, currente rota cur urceus exit?

Deniq; sit quidvis simplex duntaxat & unum.

[3] Decipimur specie recti; brevis esse laboro, Obscurus fio: sectantem laevia, nervi Deficiunt animique: professus grandia, turget.

Qui variare cupit rem prodigialiter unam Delphinum sylvis appingit, fluctibus aprum.

In vitium ducit culpae fuga, si caret arte.

aemilium circa ludum faber imus & ungues Exprimet, & molles imitabitur ore capillos; Infelix operis summa, quia ponere totum Nesciet; hunc ego me, si quid componere curem, Non magis esse velim, quam pravo vivere naso Spectandum nigris oculis nigroq; capillo.

[4] Sumite materiam vestris, qui scribitis, aequam Viribus; & versate diu, quid ferre recusent, Quid valeant humeri: cui lecta potenter erit res, Nec facundia deseret hunc nec lucidus ordo.

Ordinis haec virtus erit & venus, aut ego fallor, Ut jam nunc dicat jam nunc debentia dici: Pleraq; differat, & praesens in tempus omittat.

Dixeris egregie, notum si callida verb.u.m Reddiderit junctura novum; si forte necesse est Indiciis monstrare recentibus abdita rerum Fingere cinctutis non exaudita Cethegis Continget, dabiturq; licentia sumpta pudenter Et nova sictaq; nuper habebunt verba fidem, si Graeco fonte cadant.

[5] ---- licuit, semperque licebit Signatum praesente nota procudere nomen.

Ut Sylvae foliis p.r.o.nos mutantur in annos: Prima cadunt, ita verborum vetus interit aetas, Debemur morti nos nostraq; sive receptus Terra Neptunus cla.s.ses aquilonibus arcet, Regis opus, sterilisve diu palus aptaque remis Vicinas urbes alit & grave sent.i.t aratrum.

Seu cursum mutavit iniquum frugibus amnis Doctus iter melius; mortalia facta peribunt, Nedum sermonum stet honos & gratia vivax.

Multa renascentur quae jam cecidere, cadentq; Quae nunc sunt in honore vocabula, si volet usus, Quem penes arbitrium est & jus norma loquendi.

[6] Res gestae regumq; duc.u.mq; & tristia bella Quo scribi possent numero, monstravit Homerus.

Versibus impariter junctis querimonia primum, Post etiam voti inclusa est voti sententia compos.

Quis tamen exiguos elegos emiserit auctor Grammatici certant, & adhuc sub judice lis est.

[7] Musa dedit fidibus Divos puerosq; Deorum, Et pugilem victorem, & equum certamine primum, Et juvenum curas, & libera vina referre.

[8] Descriptas servare vices operumq; colores Cur ego si nequeo ignoroq;, poeta salutor?

Cur nescire pudens prave quam discere malo?

[9] Versibus exponi tragicis res comica nonvult Indignatur item privatis ac prope socco Dignis carminibus narrari caena Thyestae, Interdum tamen & vocem Comaedia tollit, Iratusq; Chremes tumido delitigat ore.

Telephus & Peleus, c.u.m pauper & exul uterq;, Projicit ampullas & sesqui pedalia verba.

[10] Non fatis est est pulchra esse Poemata, dulcia sunto.

Ut ridentibus arrident, ita flentibus adflent Humani vultus; si vis me flere, dolendum est Primum ipsi tibi: tunc tua me infortunia laedent Telephe, vel Peleu; male si mandata loqueris, Aut dormitabo aut ridebo.

[11] Format enim Natura prius nos intus ad omnem Fortunarum habitum, &c.

Post effert animi motus interprete Lingua ---- tristia maestum Vultum verba decent, &c.

Si dicentis erunt fortunis absona dicta, Romani tollent equites peditesq; cachinnum.

[12] Intererit multum Divusne loquetur, an Heros: Mercatorne vagus, cultorne virentis agelli: Colchus, an a.s.syrius: Thebis nutritus, an Argis.

[13] Aut famam sequere, aut sibi convenientia finge Scriptor; honoratum si forte reponis Achillem, Impiger, iracundus, inexorabilis, acer, Jura neget sibi nata, nihil non arroget armis; Sit Medea ferox invictaq;, flebilis Ino, Perfidus Ixion, Io vaga, tristis Orestes.

[14] Siquid inexpertum scenae committis, & audes Personam formare novam, servetur ad imum Qualis ab incaepto processerit, & sibi constet.

[15] Difficile est proprie communia dicere: tuq; Rectius Iliac.u.m carmen deducis in actus, Quam si proferres ignota indictaq; primus; Publica materies privati juris erit, si Nec circa vilem patulumq; moraberis...o...b..m, Nec verb.u.m verbo curabis reddere fidus Interpres, nec sic desilies imitator in arctum Unde pedem proferre pudor vetet aut operis lex.

[16] Nec sic incipies ut Scriptor Cyclicus olim.

Fortunam Priami cantabo & n.o.bile bellum; Quanto rectius hic qui nil molitur inepte, Dic mihi Musa virum captae post tempera Trojae Qui mores hominum multorum vidit & urbes.

[17] Non fumum ex fulgore, sed ex fumo dare lucem Cogitat:

[18] Quid dignum tanto feret hic promissor hiatu?

Parturiunt montes, nascetur ridiculus mus.

[19] Nec reditum Diomedis ab interitu Meleagri, Nec gemino bellum Trojanum orditur ab ovo; ---- & quae Desperat tractata nitescere posse, relinquit; Atq; ita ment.i.tur, sic veris falsa remiscet Primo ne medium, medio ne discrepet imum.

[20] Tu quid ego & populus mec.u.m desideret, audi; Si plausoris eges aulaea manentis, & usq; Sessuri donec cantor, Vos plaudite, dicat, aetatis cujusq; notandi sunt tibi mores, Mobilibusq; decor naturis dandus & annis.

[21] Reddere qui voces jam scit puer, & pede certo Signat humum, gest.i.t paribus colludere, & iram Colligit ac ponit temere, & mutantur in horas.

[22] Imberbis juvenis, tandem custode remoto, Gaudet equis canibusq; & aprici gramine campi: Cereus in vitium flecti, monitoribus asper, Utilium tardus provisor, prodigus aeris, Sublimis, cupidusq; & amata relinquere pernix.