The American Credo - novelonlinefull.com
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--377
That Philadelphia is a very sleepy town.
--378
That it is impossible for a man to learn how to thread a needle.
--379
That there is something unmanly about a grown man playing the piano, save only when he plays it in a bordello.
--380
That a couple of quinine pills, with a chaser of rye whiskey, will cure a cold.
--381
That all Congressmen who voted for Prohibition are secret lushers and have heavy stocks of all sorts of liquors in their cellars.
--382
That a certain Exalted Personage in Washington is a gay dog with the ladies and used to cut up with a stock company actress.
--383
That all the best cooks are men.
--384
That all j.a.panese butlers are lieutenants in the j.a.panese Navy and that they read and copy all letters received by the folks they work for.
--385
That the best way to stop nose-bleed is to drop a door-key down the patient's back.
--386
That a thunder-storm will cause milk to turn sour.
--387
That if a man drinks three gla.s.ses of b.u.t.termilk every day he will never be ill.
--388
That whenever two Indians meet they greet each other with the word "How!"
--389
That the Justices of the Supreme Court of the United States all chew tobacco while hearing cases, but that they are very serious men otherwise, and never laugh, or look at a pretty girl, or get tight.
--390
That all negro prize-fighters marry white women, and that they afterward beat them.
--391
That New Orleans is a very gay town and full of beautiful French creoles.
--392
That gin is good for the kidneys.
--393
That the English lower cla.s.ses are so servile that they say "Thank you, sir," if one kicks them in the pantaloons.
--394
That the gipsies who go about the country are all horse-thieves, and that they will put a spell upon the cattle of any farmer who has them arrested for stealing his mare.
--395
That every bachelor of easy means has an illicit affair with a gra.s.s widow in a near-by city and is the father of several illegitimate children.
--396
That a country editor receives so many presents of potatoes, corn, rutabagas, asparagus, country ham, carrots, turnips, etc., that he never has to buy any food.
