A Righte Merrie Christmasse Part 16

I'll give St. George a thrashing, I'll make him sick and sore, And, if I further am disposed, I'll thrash a dozen more.

ST. PATRICK.

Large words, my worthy friend, St. George is here, And likewise St. Patrick too; And he doth scorn such men as you.

I am the man for thee, Therefore, prepare yourself to fight with me; Or, else, I'll slay thee instantly.

CAPTAIN Bl.u.s.tER.

Come on, my boy! I'll die before I yield to thee, or twenty more.

(_They fight, and_ ST. PATRICK _kills_ CAPTAIN Bl.u.s.tER.)

ST. PATRICK.

Now one of St. George's foes is killed by me, Who fought the battle o'er, And, now, for the sake of good St. George, I'll freely fight a hundred more.

ST. GEORGE.

No, no, my worthy friend, St. George is here, I'll fight the other three; And, after that, with Christmas beer, So merry we will be.

_Enter_ GRACIOUS KING.

No beer, or brandy, Sir, I want, my courage for to rise, I only want to meet St. George, or take him by surprise; But I am afraid he never will fight me, I wish I could that villain see.

ST. GEORGE.

Tremble, thou tyrant, for all thy sin that's past, Tremble to think that this night will be thy last.

Thy conquering arms shall quickly by thee lay alone And send thee, pa.s.sing, to eternal doom.

St. George will make thy armour ring; St. George will soon despatch the Gracious King.

GRACIOUS KING.

I'll die before I yield to thee, or twenty more.

(_They fight_, ST. GEORGE _kills the_ GRACIOUS KING.)

ST. GEORGE.

He was no match for me, he quickly fell.

_Enter_ GENERAL VALENTINE.

But I am thy match, and that my sword shall tell, Prepare thyself to die, and bid thy friends farewell.

I long to fight such a brave man as thee, For it's a pleasure to fight so manfully (_a line missing._) Rations so severe he never so long to receive.

So cruel! for thy foes are always killed; Oh! what a sight of blood St. George has spilled!

I'll fight St. George the hero here, Before I sleep this night.

Come on, my boy, I'll die before I yield to thee, or twenty more.

St. George, thou and I'll the battle try, If thou dost conquer I will die.

(_They fight_, ST. GEORGE _kills the_ GENERAL.)

ST. GEORGE.

Where now is Colonel Spring? he doth so long delay, That hero of renown, I long to show him play.

_Enter_ COLONEL SPRING.

Holloa! behold me, here am I!

I'll have thee now prepare, And by this arm thou'lt surely die, I'll have thee this night, beware.

So, see, what b.l.o.o.d.y works thou'st made, Thou art a butcher, sir, by trade.

I'll kill, as thou did'st kill my brother, For one good turn deserves another.

(_They fight_, ST. GEORGE _kills the_ COLONEL.)

ST. PATRICK.

Stay thy hand, St. George, and slay no more; for I feel for the wives and families of those men thou hast slain.

ST. GEORGE.

So am I sorry. I'll freely give any sum of money to a doctor to restore them again. I have heard talk of a mill to grind old men young, but I never heard of a doctor to bring dead men to life again.

ST. PATRICK.

There's an Irish doctor, a townsman of mine, who lived next door to St. Patrick, he can perform wonders. Shall I call him, St. George?

ST. GEORGE.

With all my heart. Please to walk in, Mr. Martin Dennis. It's an ill wind that blows no good work for the doctor. If you will set these men on

_Enter_ DOCTOR.

their pins, I'll give thee a hundred pound, and here is the money.

DOCTOR.

So I will, my worthy knight, and then I shall not want for whiskey for one twelvemonth to come. I am sure, the first man I saw beheaded, I put his head on the wrong way. I put his mouth where his poll ought to be, and he's exhibited in a wondering nature.

ST. GEORGE.

Very good answer, Doctor. Tell me the rest of your miracles, and raise those warriors.

DOCTOR.

I can cure love-sick maidens, jealous husbands, squalling wives, brandy-drinking dames, with one touch of my triple liquid, or one sly dose of my Jerusalem balsam, and that will make an old crippled dame dance the hornpipe, or an old woman of seventy years of age conceive and bear a twin. And now to convince you all of my exertions,--Rise, Captain Bl.u.s.ter, Gracious King, General Valentine, and Colonel Spring!

Rise, and go to your father!

(_On the application of the medicine they all rise and retire._)