You Can Win Part 41

What is your legacy? How would you like to be remembered? Will you be spoken well of?

Will you be remembered with love and respect? Will you be missed?

IT IS THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE.

There was a man taking a morning walk at or the beach. He saw that along with the morning tide came hundreds of starfish and when the tide receded, they were left behind and with the morning sun rays, they would die. The tide was fresh and the starfish were alive. The man took a few steps, picked one and threw it into the water. He did that repeatedly. Right behind him there was another person who couldn't understand what this man was doing. He caught up with him and asked, "What are you doing? There are hundreds of starfish. How many can you help? What difference does it make?" This man did not reply, took two more steps, picked up another one, threw it into the water, and said, "It makes a difference to this one."

161*What difference are we making? Big or small, it does not matter. If everyone made a small difference, we'd end up with a big difference, wouldn't we?

IS YOUR LIFE WORTH SAVING?.

A boy was drowning in a river and he shouted for help. A man pa.s.sing by jumped in the river and saved the boy's life. As the man was leaving the boy said, Thank-you.'' The man asked, "For what?" The boy replied, "For saving my life." The man looked into the boy's eyes and said, Upon, make sure when you grow up that your life was worth saving."

It is time to think. This is a wake-up call.

Success without fulfillment is meaningless. Unless there is a sense of meaning and purpose, life is empty and unhappy regardless of how much prestige, money or degrees a person has.

Success begins with developing your personal success philosophy, about your health, money, family, society and values. Without a clearly defined purpose and a philosophy to guide you, life is guided by fantasies. If people have not defined a philosophy of success, they have actually defined a philosophy of failure by default.

Sometimes we overlook the things that ought not to be overlooked and don't overlook the things that ought to be overlooked.

An integral part of a good value system is commitment.

COMMITMENT.

When our value system is clear it becomes a lot easier to make decisions and commitments.

Example: You can't make a commitment to your country by selling secrets to the enemy.

You can't keep a friend by revealing to others what he told you in confidence. You can't keep a commitment to a job by trying to do as little as possible.

Unkept commitments result in dishonest behavior. I wonder how any relationship, regardless of whether personal or professional, would work if people said something to the effect.

I will try but I can't commit.

I will do it but don't count on me.

I will be there if I can, but don't get your hopes up.

I will be there, so long as you do well.

I will be there so long as you are in good health.

I will stick with you till I find something better.

If the following relationships cannot count and depend on one another, I wonder how anything would ever work in this world.

Parent / child Husband / wife Student / teacher Customer / salesman Employer / employee Friend / friend

162*

The uncertainty could lead to insanity. Our strongest relationships are tied together with the invisible something called commitment. Today, breaking a promise is considered no big deal. All relationships go sour without commitment.

Lack of commitment would destabilize relationships and lead to insecurity. No one would know where they stand with each other.

Commitment implies:

1. Dependability 2. Reliability 3. Predictability 4. Consistency 5. Caring 6. Empathy 7. A sense of duty 8. Sincerity 9. Character 10. Integrity 11. Loyalty

If one of these ingredients is missing, commitment loses strength.

When a person makes a commitment to someone, he is really saying, "You can count on me no matter what," and "I will be there when you need me."

Unconditional commitment says, "My behavior is predictable in an unpredictable future."

What makes the future unpredictable?

Changes in your life and circ.u.mstances.

Changes in my life and circ.u.mstances.

Changes in the external conditions.

Regardless of the uncertainty, commitment says "You can count on me." A person who makes a commitment is willing to give up a lot. For what? The answer is pretty clear. The rewards can be priceless.

Commitment says:

1. I am willing to sacrifice because I care.

2. I am a person of integrity and you can trust me.

3. I will not let you down.

4. Despite pain, I will still be there.

5. I will not let you down in good times or in bad times.

Commitment is not like a legal contract which is enforceable. Its foundation is not a signed piece of paper but character, integrity, and empathy.

Commitment does not mean sticking to something when a person has no choice. It means sticking in spite of choices. Without the above ingredients, no one would make a serious long-lasting commitment to others.

163*What makes a commitment worth keeping? It brings:

Predictability.

Security.

Personal growth.

Strong relationships between individuals and community.

Lasting personal and professional relationships.

Even gangsters and crooks are looking for committed supporters. Commitment creates a patch of green in a vast jungle; we call this security in an insecure world. Keeping commitments is worth the effort. Commitment means surrendering our personal wants for another person's needs.

Remember and keep in mind, needs are stronger than wants. Commitments act as a glue which bonds relationships. Commitment implies sacrificing fun and willingness to accept sorrow.

For example,

1. Commitment to friendship implies maintaining confidentiality.

2. Commitment to customer implies giving good service.

3. Commitment to marriage implies fidelity.

4. Commitment to decency implies staying away from vulgarity.

5. Commitment to patriotism implies sacrifice.

5. Commitment to job implies integrity.