You Can Win Part 4

SHARPEN YOUR AXE.

Jo John, a woodcutter, worked for a company for five years but never got a raise. The company hired Bill and within a year he got a raise. This caused resentment in John and he went to his boss to talk about it. The boss said, "You are still cutting the same number of trees you were cutting five years ago. We are a result-oriented company and would be happy to give you a raise if your productivity goes up." John went back, started hitting harder and putting in longer hours but he still wasn't able to cut more trees. He went back 20*to his boss and told him his dilemma. The boss told John to go talk to Bill. "Maybe there is something Bill knows that you and l don't." John asked Bill how he managed to cut more trees. Bill answered, "After every tree l cut, l take a break for two minutes and sharpen my axe. When was the last time you sharpened your axe?" This question hit home like a bullet and John got his answer.

My question is, when was the last time you sharpened your axe? Past glory and education don't do it. We have to continuously sharpen the axe.

Feed Your Mind

Just like our bodies need good food every day, our minds need good thoughts every day.

The key words in the preceding sentence are good food and good thoughts. If we feed our body with junk food and our mind with bad thoughts, we will have both a sick body and mind. We need to feed our mind with the pure and the positive to stay on track.

Through constant practice and exposure, we can learn the principles that make a person successful just like we learn to play basketball.

Knowledge is Power

We hear every day that knowledge is power. Not really. Knowledge is information. It is potential power and it becomes power only when it is acted upon.

What is the difference between a person who cannot read and a person who can but does not read? Not a whole lot.

Learning is like eating food. It is not how much you eat that matters, what counts is how much you digest.

Knowledge is potential power, wisdom is real power.

Education takes many forms, it is not just grades and a degree. It is

cultivating your strength learning self-discipline listening desiring to learn

Our minds, like muscles, stretch or shrink depending on how much or how little we exercise them.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

--Derek Bok Continuous positive education leads to positive thinking.

Education is a Reservoir

Positive thinkers are like athletes who, through practice, build an inner reservoir of stamina that they draw on in compet.i.tion. If they don't practice, they have nothing to draw on.

Similarly, positive thinkers regularly build a reserve of positive att.i.tude by constantly feeding their mind on the pure, the powerful and the positive on a daily basis. They 21*realize that we are all going to be faced with the negative and if we have the reserve of positive att.i.tude we will be able to overcome; otherwise the negative will prevail.

Positive thinkers are not fools and they are not going through life with blinders. They are winners who recognize their limitations, but focus on their strengths. Losers, on the other hand, recognize their strengths but focus on their weaknesses.

Step 5: Build a Positive Self-Esteem

What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is the way we feel about ourselves. When we feel good within, our performance goes up, our relationships improve both at home and at work. The world looks nicer. What is the reason? There is a direct correlation between feeling and behavior.

How Do We Build Positive Self-Esteem?

If you want to build positive self-esteem quickly, one of the fastest ways is to do something for others who cannot repay you in cash or kind.

22*A few years ago l started volunteering my time to teach att.i.tude and self-esteem programs to jail inmates. In just a few weeks, I learned more than l had learned in years .

After attending my program for two weeks ;one of the inmates stopped me and said, "Shiv, l want to talk to you. I'm going to be released from prison in a couple of weeks." l asked him what he learned through the att.i.tude development program. He thought for a while and then said that he felt good about himself. l said, "Good doesn't tell me anything.

Tell me specifically what behavior has changed?" l believe that learning has not taken place unless behavior changes. He told me he read his Bible every day since l started the program. l then asked him what reading the Bible did to him. He replied that he felt comfortable with himself and others which he hadn't felt before. l said, "That is nice, but the bottom line is, what are you going to do when you leave jail?" He told me he was going to try to be a contributing member of society. Then l asked him the same question again and he gave me the same answer. For the third time l asked him the same question What are you going to do when you leave jail?" Obviously, l was looking for a different answer. At this point, in an angry tone, he said, l am going to be a contributing member of society." l pointed out to him that there was a world of difference in what he said then and what he said now. Earlier he had said, l am going to try to be" and now he said "I am going to be." The difference is the word "try." He got rid of the word trying and that made sense. Either we do it or we don't. The word "trying" keeps the door open for him to come back to jail.

Another inmate, who was listening in on our conversation, asked, "Shiv, what do you get paid to do all this?" l told him that the feeling that l just experienced was worth more than all the money in the world. He then asked, "Why do you come here?" l said, l come here for my own selfish reason, and my selfish reason is that l want to make this world a better place to live." This kind of selfishness is healthy. In a nutsh.e.l.l, what you put into the system, you always get back, and most times more than you can ever put in. But you don't put it in with the desire to get something back.

Another inmate said, "What anybody does is their business. When people take drugs, it is none of your business. Why don't you leave them alone?" l replied, "My friend, even though l disapprove, l will compromise and accept what you are saying that it is none of my business. If you can guarantee that when someone takes drugs, and when they get behind the wheel of a car and have an accident, the only thing they will ever hit is a tree, l will compromise. But if you cannot guarantee that when they take drugs and have an accident, then you or your kids or l or my kids could be dead under the wheels, you better believe it is my business. l have to get this person off the road."

This one phrase, "It is my life, I will do what I want," has done more damage than good.

People choose to ignore the spirit and derive the meaning that is convenient to them.

Such people have tied this phrase to selfishness and I'm sure that was not the intent.

These people forget that we don't live in isolation. What you do affects me and what I do affects you. We are connected. We have to realize that we are sharing this planet and we must learn to behave responsibly.

There are two kinds of people in this world--takers and givers. Takers eat well and givers sleep well. Givers have high self-esteem, a positive att.i.tude, and they serve society. By serving society, I do not mean a run-of-the-mill pseudo leader-turned-politician who serves himself by pretending to serve others.

As human beings, we all have the need to receive and take. But a healthy personality with high self-esteem is one that not only has its need to take but also to give.

A man was washing his new car when his neighbor asked him, "When did you get the car?" He replied "My brother gave it to me." The neighbor's response was, "I wish l had a 23*car like that." The man replied, "You should wish to have a brother like that." The neighbor's wife was listening to the conversation and she interrupted, "I wish I was a brother like that." What a way to go!

Step 6: Stay Away from Negative Influences

Today's teenagers learn from adult behavior and the media. They face peer pressure.

Peer pressure is not just limited to teenagers, it is also prevalent in adults. It shows a lack of self-esteem when people do not have the courage to say "No, thank you," and stay away from negative influences: What are the negative influences?

1. Negative People

An eagle's egg was placed in the nest of a prairie chicken. The egg hatched and the little eagle grew up thinking it was a prairie chicken. The eagle did what the prairie chickens did. It scratched in the dirt for seeds. It clucked and cackled. It never flew more than a few feet because that is what the prairie chickens did. One day he saw an eagle flying gracefully and majestically in the open sky. He asked the prairie chickens: "What is that beautiful bird?" The chickens replied, "That is an eagle. He is an outstanding bird, but you cannot fly like him because you are just a prairie chicken." So the eagle never gave it a second thought, believing that to be the truth. He lived the life of and died a prairie chicken, depriving himself of his heritage because of his lack of vision. What a waste! He was born to win, but was conditioned to lose.

The same thing is true of most people. The unfortunate part of life is as Oliver Wendall Holmes said, "Most people go to their graves, with music still in them." We don't achieve excellence because of our own lack of vision.

If you want to soar like an eagle, you have to learn the ways of an eagle. If you a.s.sociate with achievers, you will become one. If you a.s.sociate with thinkers, you will become one.

If you a.s.sociate with givers, you will become one. If you a.s.sociate with complainers, you will become one.

Whenever people succeed in life, petty people will take cracks at them and try to pull them down. When you refuse to fight petty people, you win. In martial arts, they teach that when someone takes a crack at you, instead of blocking you should step away.

Why? Even to block you require energy. Why not use it more productively? Similarly, in order to fight petty people, you have to come down to their level. This is what they want, because now you are one of them.

Don't let negative people drag you down.

Remember, a person's character is not only judged by the company he or she keeps but also by the company he or she avoids.

2. Smoking, Drugs and Alcohol

One reason that I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

--Lady Astor

Drinking makes a person lose his inhibitions and give exhibitions.

24*In my travels, I have noticed that in some countries drinking has become a national pastime. If you don't drink, they look at you as if there is something wrong. Their motto is: "It doesn't matter how bad your English is, as long as your Scotch is good." If a banker asked them what their liquid a.s.sets are, they would bring two bottles of Scotch.

Drinking and smoking are glamorized today. It all starts with the first time. If you ask people why they consume alcohol or take drugs, they will give you a host of reasons, such as: to celebrate; to have fun; to forget problems; to relax; to experiment; to impress (it is cool to drink); to be fashionable; to mingle; for business purposes.

People want to conform to peer pressure. I am amazed at the way peer pressure compels with phrases such as: "Aren't you my friend?"; "One for the road"; "One for my health."

The following poem from an unknown author explains the dilemma of a social drinker well

I've drunk to your Health in taverns,

I've drunk to your Health in my home,

I've drunk to your Health so d.a.m.n many times,

That I've almost ruined my own!