You Can Win Part 26

Arrogance --- An arrogant person is content with his opinion and knowledge. That will guarantee him perpetual ignorance.

Conceit---Since nature abhors a vacuum, she fills empty heads with conceit.

John bragged, "My son gets his intelligence from me." His wife replied, "I am sure he does, because I have still got mine."

Negative att.i.tude Closed mind Lack of listening Suspicious nature Lack of respect for values (low morals) Lack of discipline Lack of compa.s.sion (cruelty is a sign of weakness) Impatience Anger--Temper gets a person in trouble and ego keeps him there.

Manipulative behavior Escapist behavior Touchy nature Inconsistency Unwillingness to accept the truth Past bad experience An uncaring att.i.tude being ignored is not a good feeling. It shows a lack of concern.

Greed--is like sea water: The more you drink, the thirstier you get.

This probably is not an all-inclusive list. Most of us may have some of the characteristics mentioned above. Some may have more of one than the other. The objective is to evaluate and adjust course in those areas.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EGO AND PRIDE.

The biggest hurdle in building a positive relationship is Ego. Ego is self-intoxicating. Ego is negative pride resulting in arrogance. Healthy pride is a feeling of the pleasure of accomplishment with humility. Ego gives a swollen head while pride gives a swollen heart. A big head gives a big headache whereas a big heart gives humility.

No matter what the size of a person's accomplishments are, there is never an excuse for having a big head. Pride, yes; big head, no.

Ego--The "I Know It All" Att.i.tude

To an egocentric person, the world begins, ends and revolves around him. An egotist can be funny by default. A boss asked one of his employees how badly he wanted a raise.

The employee said, "Real badly. I have been praying to G.o.d for one." The boss replied, "You are not going to get it because you went over my head."

An egotist talks and looks down on others.

Egotism is the anaesthetic that deadens the pain of stupidity.

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--Knute Rockne

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SELFISHNESS AND SELF--INTEREST?.

It is important to understand the distinction between these two words.

Selfishness is negative and destructive. It destroys relationships because it is based on negative values. It believes in the win/lose principle. Self-interest is positive. It welcomes prosperity, peace of mind, good health and happiness. Self-interest believes in win/win.

Envy/Jealousy--Crab Mentality

What is crab mentality? Do you know how they catch crabs? They put a box with one side open for the crabs to walk in. It has a base but no lid. When the box is full, they close the fourth side. The crabs could easily crawl out of the box and go free. But this doesn't happen, because the crab mentality doesn't let it happen. The moment one crab starts crawling up, the others pull it down and n.o.body gets out. Guess where they all end up? They all get cooked.

The same thing is true with people who are jealous. They never get ahead in life and prevent others from succeeding. Jealousy is a sign of poor self-esteem. It is a universal trait. The biggest challenge comes when jealousy becomes a national character.

Countries start degenerating, resulting in disastrous consequences for coming genera- tions. Jealousy corrupts people.

One Should Have an Open Mind Rather Than an Empty Mind

What is the difference between an open mind and an empty mind? An open mind is flexible; it evaluates and may accept or reject ideas and concepts based on merit. An empty mind is a dumping ground for good and bad. It accepts without evaluation.

STEPS TO BUILDING A POSITIVE PERSONALITY.

Step 1: Accept Responsibility

"Responsibilities gravitate to the person who can shoulder them."

--Elbert Hubbard

When people accept additional responsibility they are actually giving themselves a promotion.

Responsible behavior is to accept accountability and that represents maturity.

Acceptance of responsibility is a reflection of our att.i.tude and the environment we operate in. Most people are quick to take credit for what goes right but very few would accept responsibility when things go wrong. A person who does not accept responsibility is not absolved from being responsible. Our objective is to cultivate responsible behavior.

Responsible behavior should be inculcated right from childhood. It cannot be taught without a certain degree of obedience.

Stop the Blame Game

Avoid phrases such as: 105*

everyone else does it, or no one does it, or it is all your fault.

People who don't accept responsibility shift the blame to their parents, teachers, genes, G.o.d, fate, luck or the stars.

Johnny said, "Mama, Jimmy broke the window." Mama asked, "How did he do it?"

Johnny replied, "I threw a stone at him and he ducked."

People who use their privileges without accepting responsibility usually end up losing them.

Responsibility involves thoughtful action.

Pettiness Causes Us to Ignore Our Responsibilities

Think about it. Petty minds are busy pa.s.sing the buck rather than doing what needs to be done.

Social Responsibility

Ancient Indian wisdom teaches us that our first responsibility is to the community, second to our family and third to ourself. A society starts degenerating when this order is reversed. Social responsibility ought to be the moral obligation of every citizen.

Responsibility and freedom go hand in hand. A sign of a good citizen is that he is willing to pull his own weight.

The price of greatness is responsibility.

--Winston Churchill

Societies are not destroyed by the activities of rascals but by the inactivity of good people. What a paradox! If they can tolerate destruction by being inactive, how can they be good? The question is, are they discharging their social responsibility?

For evil to flourish, good people have to do nothing and evil shall flourish.

--Edmund Burke

Step 2: Consideration