What a Young Husband Ought to Know Part 3

[B] "A Square Talk to Young Men," 94 pages, price 50 cents, by H. L.

Hastings, Scriptural Tract Repository, Boston, Ma.s.s., 49 Cornhill street.

[C] The Anti-Infidel Library in tract form, 5 cents each, by H. L.

Hastings, Scriptural Tract Repository, 49 Cornhill street, Boston, Ma.s.s.

CHAPTER V.

THE PHYSICAL COST OF PROCREATION.

Before a ship sails from port with its valuable cargo of goods and its priceless freightage of life, they do what is called "boxing the compa.s.s." Naturally the compa.s.s would point to the true north, but because of the character of the cargo the needle may be diverted from the true north. To discover whether such local influences exist, they test and correct the compa.s.s. The deviation from the true north might be very slight, and in a very short voyage the error might not result in serious consequences, but the interests involved are too momentous to permit of any risk. Before entering upon the new voyage of married life it is essential, for the purity and safety of the two who enter upon it, and also for the well-being of the other lives which may subsequently be added to the family, that the principles by which husband and wife are to be guided should be carefully examined, that errors may be discovered and corrected, for the wrecking of a ship is of less moment than the wrecking of human lives, for these involve not only temporal, but eternal destinies.

The false impressions which young people oftentimes get is due to the general absence of truthfulness upon the part of older and more experienced persons in their conversations upon the subject of the s.e.xual relation. Notwithstanding the fact that the questions which gather about the subjects of s.e.x are of vast moment, yet these subjects have been so little written or spoken about in a pure and reverent way that, for the most part, pure-minded and honest people have banished the subject from the round of ordinary conversation. This abandonment of a sacred subject by the pure and truthful has resulted in the general ignorance and prevailing errors. Among the vile and impure the subject is much talked of, and because of the lack of correct knowledge, statements of the most exaggerated, unreasonable and oftentimes impossible are generally accepted as veritable truth. In dealing both with themselves and others, men are more deceitful and untruthful upon this subject than perhaps upon any other. It is because of these facts that the young and inexperienced so often form the most exaggerated and unreliable opinions upon subjects relating to the relation of the s.e.xes.

That we may the better understand the whole question of the s.e.xual relation it may be well to study the reproductive life of plants and the lower forms of animal life. The knowledge of the lessons they have to teach may prove a profitable subject for thoughtful consideration and lead to valuable conclusions for guidance in the relation between husband and wife.

If with our desire to start with one of the lowest forms of life we go to the pond and run our finger under the green sc.u.m which floats upon its surface, we will find one of the simplest forms of vegetable growth, known as spirogyra. The innumerable threads of green are quite like hairs that lie side by side, in close proximity but not in contact.

Under the microscope each of these green threads is composed of long tube-like cells, placed end to end and forming a continuous growth.

Under the microscope they very much resemble what in country districts is called bullrushes, or the different sections of a bamboo walking-stick or fishing-rod.

In the spring days, when this growth of green approaches its maturity, it arrives at that mysterious time when the future urgently appeals to it, when each cell feels a strange and irresistible attraction to its neighbor cell. Each reaches out toward the other until a contact is formed, a perfect union is effected, a new germ is created, and the old cells are left lifeless and perish. The union which results in the production of the fertilized seed, in which abides the spirogyra of another springtime, while its beginning costs the life of the parent plant, the verdure that lived in the green sc.u.m has pa.s.sed away, the new germs fall to the bottom of the pond, where, through the drought of summer or the ice and cold of winter, they abide in the sure resurrection of that new life which is to come with the returning springtime.

In the higher forms of life similar ill.u.s.trations of the great parental sacrifice involved in the act of reproduction are frequently found.

This is specially seen among the fishes. During the reproductive weeks life speeds along with great intensity. Under the flow of that larger vitality which greatly quickens and augments certain parts of the organism, the fish increase in size, every part seems to attain its perfection and beauty, and the parent fishes yield themselves, to a reproductive impulse that proves fatal to millions of them. After a cod has expelled its million or more of eggs there is not much left of its own body. There is diminished vitality in every part. The male loses his appet.i.te. Great physical changes result. The skin which covers his shrunken body changes in color, his nature becomes irritable and resentful, and he indulges in fierce combats with his fellows.

The fatigue attendant upon the long journeys undertaken by the salmon during the sp.a.w.ning season and the exhausting effects of the fertilizing effort are so great that few survive the trying ordeal. The same results are practically true with regard to the shad. Somewhat a.n.a.logous changes and results occur with the female, but they are less marked and less destructive. The male is characterized by a more intense activity, while her more quiet nature is her greater safeguard.

The exhaustive and often fatal effects of the reproductive act are very manifest in insect life. Among the insects the reproductive act of the male seems to round out the purpose and complete the period of his life.

The exhaustive act is oftentimes speedily followed by death. This same fatal termination is also experienced by the female after she has completed the work of developing and depositing the germ in some place suited for its protection and adapted to its eventual development and growth. In many instances the fertilizing principle is transferred from the body of the male to that of the female during flight, and, strange as it may seem, the intromittent organ of the male and the ovipositor of the female develop and continue only for that brief period which is necessary for the transference of the quickening principle and for the depositing of the egg in a place of safety.

The hive with its hundreds of bees affords an interesting ill.u.s.tration of the subject in hand. The male bee is a drone. His only purpose in life seems to be to await the period when the queen bee in her instinctive desire to perpetuate the life of the swarm is ready to receive the sperm-cells from the male. The drone is stingless and helpless. The germ of the queen bee was developed in a special cell, was fed on royal food and tenderly reared. Her office is not only to preside over the destinies of the swarm, but to her alone is a.s.signed the entire work of reproduction. She never leaves the hive but once, and then upon her nuptial flight, accompanied by a male bee. When the wedding journey is over, and the queen bee has received the sperm from the male, his work is done and his destiny is sealed. Death then ensues either by natural laws, or he is stung to death by the workers, who now regard him as an unnecessary burden upon the gathered stores of the hive.

The queen bee receives the sperm but once, and then, in a mysterious receptacle which Providence has provided, the sperm is stored, and for months, and even for years, for the supply has been known to last for five years, and during this time the millions of eggs which the queen bee lays are each fertilized at will, and, strange to say, her wonderful prolificness does not result in her exhaustion and death, and to prevent this sad result, her hive-mates make it their care that she shall be bountifully nourished with the most sumptuous food.

With the birds, death, as the result of the reproductive act, disappears. The loss which they sustain in reproductive material is comparatively small, yet something of what this costs is manifest by the noticeable changes which take place immediately after they enter upon the mating season. The plumage loses its l.u.s.tre, the song becomes less frequent and less ecstatic, and the incoming tides of life, which reached their fullness at the period of mating, ebb and recede.

Among the higher forms of animal existence the duration of life is greatly prolonged. The number of the offspring is greatly reduced. The ovum of the female and the sperm of the male become microscopic. The germ of life remains within the body of the mother until it has reached that stage of development which fits it for its independent life in the outer world. The period from conception to birth is greatly prolonged, and the periods of deliverance from the necessity of the reproductive act are alike extended. The higher in the scale the more dependent the offspring, until in the instance of man the offspring is the most helpless and dependent of all. The prolonged dependence of the child upon the care of its parents is calculated to abate the fervor and force of reproductive inclination.

While in man the reproductive act is not the precursor of death, yet it is the premonition of that event and the instinctive effort which nature makes to prevent the extermination of the race.

The inclination to beget descendants is a premonition of the physical dissolution which awaits the individual, and the act itself is always more or less exhaustive to the male, and its results, if too oft repeated, or at periods of brief duration, are disastrous to the female.

Notwithstanding these tendencies and results, yet reproduction is the expression of the fullness of physical life and vital force. Its inclination and desire is both normal and necessary, yet it should always be remembered that the increased activity of the reproductive system is secured at the cost of diminished force throughout the remainder of the entire body. No man during the period of the exercise of his reproductive nature is as strong intellectually, physically, or in any other department of his entire being, as during the periods when he is s.e.xually self-contained, or is resting in the calm of s.e.xual repose.

In the lower forms of life the reproductive flame bursts out into one all-consuming conflagration, exhausting to the male and eventually terminating with fatal results to the female. In man this fire burns with a more steady glow, bursting forth occasionally into more intense activity, and then subsiding, but always vitalizing and giving energy to all his powers, and no man can fan this flame into a continuous conflagration without suffering the most ruinous results and disastrous consequences.

Among the lower forms of life the reproductive inclination of the male recurs at those periods when his mate is in the condition necessary to the procreation of the species. After the act of procreation, the s.e.xual pa.s.sion in both subsides, and the reproductive function is not again called into exercise until after the intervening weeks or months of repose have pa.s.sed and nature again responds to the necessity of procreation for the purpose of perpetuating the species. Where the periods of ovulation and fecundity recur at brief intervals in the female, the reproductive nature of the male is in a more continuous state of activity, so that a fruitful union may be secured when the reproductive nature of the female is in readiness; but this by no means indicates any physical necessity or reasonable justification for the constant or even frequent exercise of the reproductive function.

Strict continence is not injurious, either to the unmarried or to the married. Thousands of married men and women are suffering from the effects of excessive s.e.xual indulgence. They drain their physical powers, weaken the intellect, and fail to attain the happiness and grand results which would otherwise be possible to them. All who are familiar with the care of plants know that the best way to preserve their bloom and beauty is to restrain the consummation of the reproductive act.

Prevent them from going to seed and the flowers continue to bloom.

Remove the anther from the lily and the flower will not fade so soon by several hours. The same is true with the insects. Where they can be prevented from losing their vitalizing sperm they live on beyond the limits of others of their kind who are left free to exercise the privilege of reproduction. An instance is given of a b.u.t.terfly which continued to live for over two years in a hot-house, while the ordinary period of life to those which exercise the reproductive power complete and end their career in a few short days.

There are times when married people should observe the strictest continence. A state of partial or total intoxication is a just cause for either a husband or wife to deny to the other all marital privileges.

Conception at such a time is more than likely to result in the production of idiots or epileptics. The cases on record are too numerous and too well authenticated to admit of doubt in regard to the terrible consequences of conception under such circ.u.mstances.

During sickness or convalescence procreation is not only highly injurious to the individual, but at any period before the physical powers have fully regained their most perfect state of health the transmission of life is more than likely to result in the begetting of children who are to be afflicted with mental debility and physical infirmities which shall be so inwrought into the very fibre of their being as to continue through their entire life, utterly beyond the reach of all remedial agents.

We can conceive of no greater wrong that a parent could ignorantly or wilfully inflict upon his unborn offspring than to call them into being at a period when they cannot escape the inheritance of lifelong physical or mental infirmity.

Abstinence from the marital relation in some instances becomes almost absolutely imperative. In the intimate relations of married life the exercise of such self-restraint is not always easy, but it is nevertheless possible. There are well-authenticated instances in the lives of missionaries who have married and immediately gone to climates where conception during the period of acclimation would have resulted fatally who have maintained absolute continence for a period of months and years. We know of an instance where, because of a diseased condition known as vaginismus, the marital relation was attended with such discomfort and pain that for a few years it was only indulged at long intervals, and then totally abandoned, and strict continence maintained for a period of twenty years and more.

Nor is strict continence in married life without ill.u.s.trations of those who have voluntarily chosen it. There are some married people in this country, more numerous than some suppose, who have adopted the idea of uniform continence, and who call the reproductive nature into exercise for the purpose of procreation only, and who a.s.sert that the maintenance of continence secures not only greater strength and better health, but greater happiness also.

CHAPTER VI.

MARITAL MODERATION.

The foundation of marriage and of home can only be built permanently upon the abiding nature of love. Like our own being, love has a twofold nature. Its spiritual part is immortal and unchangeable; its physical part is temporary in purpose and continuance, and is liable to perversion and debas.e.m.e.nt. The physical may even be permitted to overshadow, debase and quite obliterate the spiritual. In its natural unfolding and manifestation love is very much like the plant that is rooted in the earth while it flowers in the sunlight. The earth and the roots in their relation to each other are essential and even indispensable to the production of the flower, and the flower is alike indispensable to the perpetuity of the plant.

So love has its physical and its spiritual nature. Love is rooted in that unconscious law of our nature which G.o.d has enacted for the preservation and perpetuity of human life. "Nothing but a spurious delicacy or an ignorance of facts can prevent our full recognition that love looks to marriage, and marriage to offspring, as a natural sequence." While this is its objective purpose, it yet serves other high ends.

In its twofold nature love enn.o.bles its possessor. It makes him responsive to the love of G.o.d upon the one hand and to the love of mankind upon the other. It gives purpose and zest to life, brightens the intellect, quickens the imagination, inspires purpose and imparts physical power. It beautifies and glorifies the individual, and makes him worthy of redemption. "When it is pure and true it unites two souls in bonds of happiness which never chafe, and which become stronger as time pa.s.ses and the pa.s.sions become chaste and subdued."

But there is a monstrosity that is known by the same name. The proper name of this monster is l.u.s.t. It imparts neither beauty nor life. It is like the parasite plant which is not naturally rooted in the earth, but entwines itself about the growing beauty of other plant-life, only to suck out the life-currents from the stem which has lifted it out of the dirt into the sunlight, in return for which its only charity is that it spreads its stolen verdure over the death which it has itself created.

The question of the proper relation of husband and wife in marriage is a difficult one. It is worthy of a volume. The various phases of the subject which crowd upon our mind exceed the limits of a brief chapter.

We only regret that we are restricted by limitations beyond which we cannot pa.s.s at this present time. Suffice it to say that there are three princ.i.p.al theories with regard to the marital relation. Briefly stated they are as follows:

The first theory a.s.sumes that unlimited s.e.xual gratification is essential to the comfort and well-being of the male, and that, whether married or unmarried, he is to seek its gratification, whether lawfully or unlawfully, wherever and whenever he can find an opportunity. It is scarcely necessary to say that this theory is not worthy of the consideration of fair-minded and decent people. It is contrary to the laws of nature, to the laws of G.o.d, and to the laws of all civilized nations. The theory is conceived and born of l.u.s.t. It has been fathered and fostered by the delusions of ignorant people. It is the child of l.u.s.t and the parent of sensuality. It is disproven by experience and is condemned by the best medical authority in this country and throughout the world. For a discussion of this subject and medical testimony we must refer the reader to "What a Young Man Ought to Know," from page 56 to 67.

The second theory is that in married life the reproductive function is not to be exercised except for the purpose of procreation. While this theory is the opposite extreme of the first, yet it differs from the first in that it has some very strong arguments in its favor. While the results of our investigations do not enable us to a.s.sert that it is the true theory, we are yet prepared to say that it is worthy of thoughtful consideration. If it is possible for married people to maintain absolute continence for a period of six months or a year, it must be conceded that it would be possible to extend that time to a longer period. The maintenance of this theory would require such a degree of self-denial and self-control as is far beyond the possession of the great ma.s.s of humanity. We fear, also, that there are but few, even if they entered upon a life union with such thought and intention, who would be able to maintain their principles for any considerable period.

The third theory, and that which many men and women who are eminent for their learning and religious life hold to be the correct theory, is, that while no one has a right to enter upon the marriage relation with the fixed purpose of evading the duty of parenthood, yet that procreation is not the only high and holy purpose which G.o.d has had in view in establishing the marriage relation, but that the act of s.e.xual congress may be indulged in between husband and wife for the purpose of expressing their mutual affection, augmenting their personal endearments, and for quickening those affections and tender feelings which are calculated to render home the place of blessing and good which G.o.d intended.

It is held by those who advocate this theory that while it would be possible to restrict the exercise of the reproductive functions to the single purpose of procreation, yet in the great majority of instances the effort to live by that theory would generally result in marital unhappiness.

It cannot be successfully denied that the perpetuity of the race is the great purpose which G.o.d has had in view in inst.i.tuting marriage.

Procreation and the raising up of a family of children cannot under ordinary circ.u.mstances be ignored or evaded without serious physical, intellectual, moral and social results. But neither are mutual love, affection, comfort, consolation and support to be ignored without disastrous results. Due regard is not only to be paid to the perpetuity of the race, but to the well-being and perpetuity of the individual. In his book on the Ethics of Marriage Dr. H. F. Pomeroy says: "Physiologically considered, there can be but one end in marriage--the breeding and rearing of a family; but there are various means which conduce to this end by preserving the mental and physical tone and balance of husband and wife, and cultivating in them a union of regard and affection, without which any mere outward union can be but a travesty of marriage. How far it may be proper to exercise the secondary object of marriage it is impossible to state in any general rule, because individual cases vary so greatly; but it is safe to say that the phase of marriage which is so closely allied to its primary object has an important bearing on the health, happiness and harmony of husband and wife, and so may properly be exercised by those who have a proper regard for the primary end of marriage, even when its relation to this end be but indirect, provided such exercise of it be kept within bounds of mental and physical health."

Personally we are strongly inclined to the acceptance of this third theory. But it must be granted that the acceptance of this theory is attended with many considerations which have their serious perplexities.

Perhaps the most constant and most serious difficulty is the question involved in the danger of too frequent conception. To regulate this matter many persons resort to criminal methods, which are nothing short of murder: many resort to expedients which are often unsatisfactory in their result and also ruinous to the health or well-being of either the husband or wife, or both, while others adopt less disastrous but equally unsatisfactory and unreliable measures. Some of these methods are criminal, others are injurious, still others uncertain, and all alike unsatisfactory.

Desirable as it might be to enter upon a full discussion of the various questions involved in the consideration of this phase of the subject, yet because of the general prevalence of vicious living and impure thinking we deem it best not to enter upon a discussion which might effect more evil in some pure-minded persons, by suggestion, than it could accomplish in the reforming of the evil practices of the vicious, and we therefore pa.s.s this phase of the subject in silence.