Washington Square Plays Part 18

MENELAUS. Duty is the refuge of the unbeautiful. She is as commonplace as she is ugly. [And then with deep bitterness.] Why didn't he marry Helen when we all wanted her? He was too wise for that. He is the only man I've ever known who seems able to direct destiny.

a.n.a.lYTIKOS. You should not blame the G.o.ds for a lack of will.

MENELAUS [shouting]. Will! Heaven knows I do not lack the will to rid myself of this painted puppet, but where is the instrument ready to my hand?

[At this moment a SHEPHERD of Apollonian beauty leaps across the rail of the balcony and bounds into the room. MENELAUS and a.n.a.lYTIKOS start back in amazement.]

a.n.a.lYTIKOS. Who are you?

PARIS. An adventurer.

a.n.a.lYTIKOS. Then you have reached the end of your story. In a moment you will die.

PARIS. I have no faith in prophets.

a.n.a.lYTIKOS. The soldiers of the King will give you faith. Don't you know that it means death for any man to enter the apartments of the Queen?

PARIS [looking from one to the other]. Oh! So you're a couple of eunuchs.

[Though nearly eighty this is too much for a.n.a.lYTIKOS to bear. He rushes to call the guards, but MENELAUS stops him.]

PARIS [to a.n.a.lYTIKOS]. Thanks.

a.n.a.lYTIKOS. You thank me for telling you your doom?

PARIS. No--for convincing me that I'm where I want to be. It's taken me a long while, but I knew I'd get here. [And then very intimately to MENELAUS.] Where's the Queen?

MENELAUS. Where do you come from?

PARIS. From the hills. I had come down into the market-place to sell my sheep. I had my hood filled with apples. They were golden-red like a thousand sunsets.

MENELAUS [annoyed]. You might skip those bucolic details.

PARIS. At the fair I met three ancient gypsies.

MENELAUS. What have they to do with you coming here?

PARIS. You don't seem very patient. Can't I tell my story in my own way?

They asked me for the apple I was eating and I asked them what they'd give for it.

MENELAUS. I'm not interested in market quotations.

PARIS. You take everything so literally. I'm sure you're easily bored.

MENELAUS [with meaning]. I am.

PARIS [going on cheerfully]. The first was to give me all the money she could beg, and the second was to tell me all the truth she could learn by listening, and the third promised me a pretty girl. So I chose---- [He hesitates.]

a.n.a.lYTIKOS. You cannot escape by spinning out your tale.

PARIS. Death is the end of one story and the beginning of another.

MENELAUS. Well! Well! Come to the point. Which did you choose?

PARIS [smiling]. Well, you see I'd been in the hills for a long while, so I picked the girl.

a.n.a.lYTIKOS. It would have been better for you if you had chosen wisdom.

PARIS. I knew you'd say that.

a.n.a.lYTIKOS. I have spoken truly. In a moment you will die.

PARIS. It is because the old have forgotten life that they preach wisdom.

MENELAUS. So you chose the girl? Well, go on.

PARIS. This made the other cronies angry, and when I tossed her the apple one of the others yelped at me: "You may as well seek the Queen of Sparta: she is the fairest of women." And as I turned away I heard their laughter, but the words had set my heart aflame and though it costs me my life, I'll follow the adventure.

a.n.a.lYTIKOS [scandalized]. Haven't we heard enough of this?

MENELAUS [deeply]. No! I want to hear how the story ends. It may amuse the King. [He makes a sign to a.n.a.lYTIKOS.]

PARIS. And on the ship at night I looked long at the stars and dreamed of possessing Helen. [a.n.a.lYTIKOS makes an involuntary movement toward the balcony but MENELAUS stops him.] Desire has been my guiding Mercury; the Fates are with me, and here I am!

a.n.a.lYTIKOS. The wrath of the King will show you no mercy.

PARIS [nonchalantly]. I'm not afraid of the King. He's fat, and--a fool.

a.n.a.lYTIKOS. Shall I call the guards? [MENELAUS stops him.]

MENELAUS [very significantly]. So you would give your life for a glimpse of the Queen?

PARIS [swiftly]. Yes! My immortal soul, and if the fables tell the truth, the sight will be worth the forfeit.

MENELAUS [suddenly jumping up]. It shall be as you wish!

PARIS [buoyantly]. Venus has smiled on me.

MENELAUS. In there beyond the library you will find a room with a bath.

Wait there till I call you.

PARIS. Is this some trick to catch me?

MENELAUS. A Spartan cannot lie.

PARIS. What will happen to you if the King hears of this?

MENELAUS. I will answer for the king. Go.