My Sister The Villainess 18 Holy Artifact? No Thanks

Author's notes: So after three weeks, finally a new chapter! I didn't drop it! So, i owe an explanation. Two things happened: My mother got hospitalized for ketoacidosis so everyone freaked out and I stayed with her for three days at the hospital, overnight, going hungry and ripening with every day since no one ever brought me a d.a.m.n change of clothes--thank G.o.d for body spray, i guess. She's good now. Had to go call paramedics when she had too low blood sugar a week later, yeah, but its alright now. Scared the s.h.i.t outta my brother tho since her jaw was locked and that was pretty. terrifying.

Second, my cousin. Again, the hospital. This time I brought clothes. She almost died giving birth. Had to do a c-section, it got infected, docs tell us she has to do rehab and make sure it stays clean otherwise she could still die. Baby is fine though.

Third, which i know is more than two, i had writers block for the last five days likely due to all that s.h.i.t mentioned above. Just been d.i.c.king around trying to get past it, unwind and all that. Rewrote this chapter literally ten times. Finally happy with what I got.

So, yeah. Lots of stuff hit all at once, so im sorry for the delay, but priorities, you know?

I dont like making excuses though, just feel that after all the support you guys gave and how much you're liking the story i at least owe you an explanation for the sudden disappearing act.

Also i made a new story. More of a fan fiction, really. Im not the original author, i just liked his story and he never continued it so after seeing the guy around kissmanga and confirming its him I asked if i could make my own version. Which i actually had for a while, a least a few rewritten chapters, that i never published since i couldnt get ahold of him before now.

It's currently called the Last King but i dunno if imma keep the t.i.tle. Anyway here's the link to the story. I make no promises i will release it often but i think it's a fun little project to do. h.e.l.l I may not even finish it myself either but, well, like i said i think its fun and i also think my writing is a lot more free in that story so if nothing else i hope you guys enjoy what comes out of it.

https://m.webnovel.com/book/13358464206602805

Anyway, onto the chapter.

**********

"That's enough for the day."

Those were the first words out of the man's mouth in the past three hours.

The sentence was accompanied by a pair of cold, hawk-like eyes that pierced through the bleak light and sent shivers down the spine.

The owner of which was a man with ink-black hair and sharp, handsome features standing calmly above my battered frame

The way he was completely unscathed and not shedding even a single drop of sweat was incomprehensibly annoying.

Now understandably anyone with half a brain would be terrified of the guy who'd just beat them black and blue without a single flicker of mercy.

But me? I was totally up for round 56.

"What, done already?" I challenged.

Strongest swordsman in the world? Terror of the East and West? Reaper of ten thousand honorable souls?

Yeah, none of those things frightened me at all.

I didn't give a d.a.m.n who you were, you couldn't shoot sword energies at me so many times and expect me to not be just a little bit resentful about it.

His mother is one of my former clients, dammit. I refuse to be treated like this by a Mihawk wannabe!

"No, but you are." He sheathed his blade. "Get up and go take a bath. We'll continue after breakfast."

I thought we were done....

"Carry me." I held up my hands like a child wanting his dad to hold him. Considering I was laying on my back with my clothes all torn up it was decidedly less than cute.

"Fool." He coldly turned his back.

No one does that to me.

"I'll make you my son, dammit."

But Sir Marcus Kane had no time for my threats, no matter how feasible they may be. I swore to rekindle my past a.s.sociation with a certain finely-aged Milf sometime in the future...

In the meantime though I dragged my poor beaten self off the ground, gave my body a good pat, and walked towards the Castle.

"Good morning, Young Master."

I felt my skin crawl. "Will you stop that already?!"

"Oh? Whatever do you mean?" Vera's figure appeared from out of the ether. The sun rose at her back, casting her in a dark silhouette. Her beautiful, unchanging face was hidden by shadow.

"Forget it." I said, knowing she wouldn't give me a straight answer anyway.

She and Dolly had shown up here a few days ago without warning. I don't even know how they got here, the two of them had just been conjured from thin air while Minerva tended the garden--she'd spent most of her time there ever since we arrived, saying the place was calming. Gave the girl a fright.

I asked repeatedly but the two were tight-lipped. Actually Dolly was clueless too. She only said, "My desire to see Day bent time and s.p.a.ce to bring us together again." Sounding quite sure of her hypothesis.

She went on to say, "Little sisters truly are supposed to be by their big brother's side, right, Day?" As if that explained everything.

Which was heartwarming to hear but also complete nonsense.

"Dolly, I get you missed this Big Bro in the time we hadn't seen each other, but please understand. No matter how much you miss me, the laws of physics won't bend just because you got lonely!"

"Huh? But Day, all evidence points to the contrary, you know?" She had shot back, leaving me speechless.

At that time it was pretty hard to argue against it...

I suspected dark magicks at play. I wouldn't put it past Vera, this little she-devil.

As for the Prince and Princess, I hear they were still with Mother. Bonding, or something.

"Here you go, Young Master."

Vera held out a clean white cloth.

"No thanks." I politely refused. The girl always made a point to offer me a towel or handkerchief to wipe myself with after my training sessions even though I continued to refuse her every time.

The thought made me feel guilty, just a smidge. Maybe I should ease up on her a little? At least stop going straight to spanking all the time, if nothing else. The Devil's Left isn't something that should be taken out so readily, especially on a child, eh?

I resolved to attempt being a tad kinder and, unlike Sir Kane, merciful.

Afterall say what you will about her foul-mouthedness but she's still quite a considerate little girl.

And it's not like I don't appreciate the good intention. I just thought it was pretty useless, you know? I take baths after my sessions anyway so why would I need to use a towel? That'd just dirty it needlessly.

"As you please." She promptly grabbed my shirt and tore it off, ruining all the goodwill I'd just built up for her in the last few seconds.

This little...

"Listen here you..." I got ready to smack her. Then stopped as I realized the shirt was messed up in the first place.

"I'll dispose of this properly." She held the tattered, blood-and-sweat-stained garment as far from her body as possible. I caught a faint gleam in her eye, obviously disgust.

It was pretty damp. And ripe. Couldn't blame her.

"Thanks." I coughed, again feeling a pang of guilt. It's the small things like this that get me.

"And what were you going to say, Young Master?"

"Nevermind that."

Okay, okay, fine.

Perhaps I really do need to cut back on punishing her.

....As weird as it sounds though I feel like somewhere along the line hitting her just became a habit. And I have no idea when it started either.

Wait...Now that I think of it something doesn't seem right...

"Young Master, your pants are also fairly damaged."

My train of thought broke instantly.

I looked down and saw my pants were indeed a lot more breezy than they should've been. I was glad I sent Baz to fetch me some more clothing the day previous.

See, that's partly why I normally don't like coming here. Not even my clothes can catch a break!

"So?"

"So..." She trailed off, nose wrinkling in displeasure.

Failing to understand what she wanted at all, we ended up in a weird stare-down for several moments before I decided it was best not knowing.

This Big Bro had no interest in the thought processes of oddball little girls like her. Yeah.

***

"You've improved again." Sir Kane noted.

It was an hour after our second sparring session when he'd called me to his Study at the highest floor of the Castle. He sat comfortably in a plush chair nestled near a blazing fire.

Not sure why but it was always little nippy in the Castle. Fires were sorta necessary.

He looked so posh and sn.o.bby just sitting there drinking wine like he hadn't a care in the world.

"Doesn't feel like it, but thanks." I grumbled, not pleased at all with his praise. To be honest I didn't even like using swords these days. So...vanilla, you know?

We need to find ourselves a real weapon.

"Anyway take this and go kill the Ogre holed up in the nearby caves."

On a small table was a knife. It was definitely a knife.

Ogres were decendants of war weapons from eras past. They were not as deadly as their ancestors but they had pretty thick skin and could probably turn a car into a smooth, crease-less ball of steel with their hands alone.

Sending me to go off one with a knife alone...

"Are you stupid?" I asked, seriously concerned.

Sir Kane took another sip of his wine. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that." He replied. "Don't worry, that place has something I'm sure you'll appreciate. Whether or not you can take it will depend entirely upon your own virtue, however. Such as they are."

Something? That was f.u.c.king vague, now wasn't it? What does he mean, something?

I couldn't imagine what he'd think I could want in some dusty old c--Hold up.

Ogres, he said....He can't mean THAT, right?

I had a feeling I knew exactly what he was talking about. Oh. Oh yes. Now I'm interested.

"Oh buddy, just you wait till I get back. I'm gonna pound you so hard." I promised. If what was in that cave is what I think it is, it'd suit me perfectly. With that in hand I'm positive I could show this a.s.shole what-for.

The thought of beating him up after all these years of abuse was almost arousing. This time HIS face was going to be black and blue!

"We'll see about that." He looked out the window. "If you do manage to take the item I would like to study it for a time. I'll give it back once I'm done and you can do with it as you will."

I dunnot why he'd wanna study that type of thing, but whatever. Maybe it was made of special stuff?

"Whatever. Just point me in the right direction."

Things were gonna get a lot more fun

***

"He wants you to go beat the Ogre? The one that lives within Azalith Cavern?"

Vera, again. This girl didn't have anything better to do other than bug me?

I tied up my boots, put on my new red greatcoat, and took some snacks. The cave in question was only about a few hours away by horseback and I wasn't allowed other weapons so I didn't take the knives I usually kept.

Why do I keep knives on me? Well they were fun to throw and you never knew when you would need to open a letter or box of something. So I normally had at least one or two if I was gonna go out.

Anyway Vera had come and caught me when I was getting my things ready and had hounded me relentlessly trying to figure out where I was planning to go. Finally I had to give in.

"Yup. I'm gonna go get something neat from there."

"I'm sure you are. If it's you then you'll likely be able to acquire it. But even if you can get it are you positive you can handle the responsibility it comes with? It's a heavy burden."

"Once I commit to something, I do it. Don't worry, I'm pretty strong. I think I can lift it." I was more certain of this than anything right now.

"You're unexpectedly motivated for once, Young Master." She implied I was lazy, huh? Well I can't say I wasn't. But it wasn't so bad in this life, alright?

Vera was looking at me intensely. "This doesn't have anything to do with that Minerva woman and her little kitten, does it? I know they think of you as some sort of Saint Damien or something."

"Them? No, why would it? What's their devotion have to do with anything?"

"The thing you'd looking to get is, after all, a divine object. I was thinking perhaps you only want it to make yourself look good for them."

...What's this girl talking about now? I had no time for any of her nonsense.

"You're a weird kid." I told her. " Alright, I'm done. Run along now. Wait, where's Dolly? And Baz? I haven't seen them for a while."

It was really odd. Actually I haven't seen Evie or Minnie either. Not since breakfast at least.

"Oh he's busy trying to stop a war from breaking out, think nothing of it."

"What? War? The h.e.l.l is going on?"

"You'll find out eventually. Just concern yourself with the task at hand."

"...This is about Evie and Dolly, isn't it?"

"As always the Young Master is perceptive only after s.h.i.ts already hit the fan."

That wasn't fair, I was just busy these days! That b.a.s.t.a.r.d keeps me up all day and night! If I knew freeloading at his place meant getting beat up THIS much I'd have picked somewhere else to live.

...Although this is one of the only places I felt Mother couldn't spy on me. So I sorta hadn't many choices....

Mother had a pretty scary information network. I didn't know how she did it but I noticed a pattern of her knowing things she shouldn't quite often.

Like Minnie and Evie's origins. And my escapade with the King. Also that one time with Count Zemo's burning stables that caused his place to smell like s.h.i.t for a solid three days. That one was really a surprise because Jacob was there too and it was dark and how THE f.u.c.k did she know I was the one who threw that candle?

I hadn't noticed before but recent events kept me on my toes.

Mother had met Sir Kane on several occasions and the two seemed on guard against each other for some reason so I a.s.sumed she wouldn't be snooping near his place, or couldn't even if she tried since it was out in the middle of nowhere.

All gra.s.slands and graveyards and only a few small towns that kept to themselves.

"Let me guess, she's jealous?"

"And the other think she's an ungrateful, spoiled brat."

As one of my "devout believers" Evie may be a little hostile to Dolly after seeing how she acted with me. I couldn't really blame the kid either.

She never had what Dolly had. If she stayed at our own home and saw all the things Dolly grew up with she may have been even more resentful.

"Sounds bad."

"She think her beloved brother," The two words sounded incredible sarcastic and insulting when she said them, "Is slowly being taken away from her. Of course she'll react badly. You should've seen how she was before we got here."

"We've always been close, yeah."

Evie had a point, in more ways than one. Dolly IS spoiled. I know since I'm the one who always spoiled her. And she was spoiled not just by me, but with me.

The kid and me were two peas in a pod. I can barely remember a time when we were seperated for longer than a few hours.

Maybe having a fight with Mother and leaving for several days was a bit too much for her to handle. She was pretty attached to me, I had to admit.

Our relationship as brother and sister was tight, if I do say so myself! I think my previous worries were ridiculous. I was a great big bro.

It was a little saddening to think I never had this kind of warm relationship with my past sister, though.

"I should've expected this situation." I sighed.

Evie, in the days since I've know her and Minnie, has also grown to like me as a Master. I treated them well and cooked delicious food for them. I've talked to them a bit and gotten to know them better these past few days too.

I wanted to court Minnie but I wanted to be her friend first, and Evie's.

I don't think they've ever had that before, a friend. Not to mention I was their saviour.

So Evie, even if she didn't think I was some sort of Saint, was probably feeling like Dolly was taking things for granted. Taking me for granted, specifically. Not only did Evie understand Dolly must've grown up like a little Princess but she also knew the girl had loving parents and me as her brother to boot.

Evie was understandably jealous of that. Seeing Dolly so careless around me must've been a bit of an eyesore especially given her belief in my Holiness, too.

Dolly, on the other hand, was more simple. She just felt like she was losing me to two strangers. She may have liked them at first but seeing me run off with them like this...Well, you can see how she'd feel about that, obviously.

Um, yeah. I might've been too thoughtless.

"I'll try to settle those two down when I get back."

Having Dolly and Evie dislike each other was bad, okay? Really bad! I felt like it was bad, anyway.

Considering who they were, it was bad.

The Villainess and the Heroine being hostile to each other couldn't be something driven by fate, could it?

Was I being paranoid? This was a completely normal, understandable, cause-and-effect kind of occurance...right?

I refused to believe it was anything but.

Stifling the worry in my heart I called upon my several dozen War-Wolves and rode on Patches' back, a large pack of ferocious beasts following in my wake.

You didn't think I left them behind, did you?

Steel yourselves, my cute lil puppers.

We're goin' on a hunt.

***

After I'd given them a beat-down the wolves had become as tame as whipped dogs. And after I left home Patches of course followed me.

He was a large monstrosity of an animal, nearly 8 feet from nose to tail and standing tall at almost five feet high. His arms and legs were thick, st.u.r.dy things.

His face was fierce and scarred, his snarls ugly and terrifying enough to make a grown man wet himself.

All that was why when I made a threat to have him XOXO someone to death they usually pa.s.sed out from fear.

But he was a real sweetie at heart, honest.

Although his back was pretty straight and fur was soft enough I still opted to have a saddle made for him.

Oh and he didn't always used to be that big either. He just got that way after some love and care.

Which reminded me of Minnie and Evie. Those two were really thin at the start too but the past week or so of healthy eating restored some fullness to their cheeks and redness to their once pale complexions.

Minnie, especially, was a large eater. She was shy and confused the first time I served her a plate. She actually never got to touch food herself. She wasn't, apparently, a cook. Only a laborer who did things like cleaning or carrying. So her chef skills weren't the best.

Sir Kane didn't keep any staff either so he cooked for himself or had me do it when I was around.

After hearing an embarra.s.sed and awkward Minerva admit her inexperience I just waved it off and told her and Evie not to worry about it.Then I started making it a point to give them three big, hearty love-stuffed meals every day, which paid off.

That was when Minnie discovered how big an appet.i.te she had. She said she'd never been able to really eat till she was full before, breaking my heart all over again and making me serve her another piece of dessert with tears in my eyes.

Since she ate so much she was getting prettier by the day and I think even her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were somehow making a substantial growth.

Evie, well, she was also getting prettier but that was actually a cause for concern. If Mother was right about her origin and powers, that is. I knew I had to make up with her eventually. I didn't know anyone else who might actually have the knowledge to teach Evie about how to controll her abilities.

That aside, yeah, they were both eating well and looking great. Baz was attending to them when I wasn't able to, as I instructed, and It looked like he was being adopted as a little brother figure for the two. With Baz that was the norm.

If I was the Big Bro of the world then he was the Lil Bro.

These thoughts distracted me from the increasingly lush scenery coming into view. The flat, endless fields of green turned into a cacophony of vibrant flowers and flowing streams with a host of tall mountains just within eyesight.

The mountain tops jutted out like sharp blades into the sky above and disappeared behind silver clouds.

The place became beautiful. It was almost as beautiful as the area around the Claybrook Estate, even.

I looked at the map Sir Kane kindly threw at me.

Let's see....

Forked tree there...Waterfall there...Big a.s.s boulder here....

The cave should be somewhere a mile or two further down.

While I studied our surroundings Patches made a small growl. The other wolves following us also seemed uneasy.

This is not the first time they did this, it'd been going on for a solid ten minutes already.

I glared at them. "Stop being a buncha p.u.s.s.ies. One more whimper and I'll have dog for lunch."

The beasts were surprisingly intelligent. I didn't think they actually understood the exact meaning of the words but they knew a threat when they heard one.

The mutts quieted immediately, not daring to make a peep.

"Good boys." I patted the head of the one closest. It bit at my hand with a growl of discontent. "And girl, of course." h.e.l.l maybe they did understand.

"Okay. On we go."

I kicked at Patches' shoulder and spurred him forwards. The speed of a wolf wasn't that much worse than a horse, Patches being even faster than most horses I've ridden.

Wolves were also more agile so one as large and powerful as Patches traversed the uneven landscape with ease.

But something was off.

It was two things. First was the lack of animals. The entire area was quiet, too quiet for a region like this. Only the sounds of small insects could be heard and even then not often.

Second was the growing sense of familiarity. It was a nagging sensation, a feeling that this entire situation was somehow one I'd been in before.

The name of the destination was particularly sending waves of deja vu at me. Azalith Cavern. And the fact an Ogre was here made the feeling even stronger.

It's like I knew what it was, like it was on the tip of my tongue but there was some mental block preventing me from remembering what it was I should...well, be remembering.

But I couldn't get past that block no matter how hard I thought so I just put it out of my mind for the time being.

The entrance to the cave slowly came into view.

"We're here." I slid off Patches to examine the walls of stone.

The cave was not natural. Everything was too neat. The entrance too perfectly shaped. I peeled off some growing moss and saw, as I expected, patterns and shapes indicating the place was man-made.

I'd seen that pattern before. I know I had. Why couldn't I remember? Ugh. How vexing.

I saw the wolves, including patches, staying put outside the cave.

"Okay boys and girl, ask yourselves." I smiled warmly."What's scarier? An Ogre...or me?"

The wolves all looked at one another for a long time and seemed to come to a silent agreement.

They followed without further prompting.

They really are smart, eh? They knew a "probably" was lot less terrifying than a "certainty."

On this hunt they MIGHT die, but disobeying me meant they WILL die. They wanted to eat me and mine so I'm not averse to eating them and theirs if they can't earn their keep.

I led them further in.

I took out the knife--a dagger, really. It was always a good idea to get your weapons out at the start.

I had only taken twenty steps before a bloodcurdling roar ripped through the air.

The entire cave trembled and my hair stood on end.

I took off in a sprint.

"...LONG LIVE CAT-EARS!!"

***

Have you ever seen an Ogre before? Outside of Hentai? Well let me tell you, friends....they're actually pretty nice.

"Hi. My name's Richard. How are you, traveler?"

The scream from before? A stubbed toe.

Richard was 10 feet high, fat, balding, and had a kind smile. He also wore a brown robe similar to that of a monk's.

"Dude, what the f.u.c.k."

The man...Ogre...seemed appalled. "Language!" He chastised. "These are holy grounds, good sir, not a speakeasy!"

Hahaha....What. The. f.u.c.k.

The wolves behind me had no idea what to do.

Maybe it was because the moment I rushed in the guy was sitting on a staw mat and offering me tea.

"Hold up a minute. You're an Orgre, right?" I asked for the tenth time.

"Oh yes. That is, unless my mother was lying about her short-lived dalliance with the Orc from one town over." He joked, for the tenth time.

"Aren't those the same thing?"

"What? Heavens no!" His ugly face shook with enthusiasm. " Entirely different. They're a lot smaller. And, if you don't mind me saying, a lot simpler. If you know what I mean."

I felt a headache. "Okay listen buddy, I came here expecting to have a duel to the death. Not to drink te-which is delightful, by the way, I'd love to know the recipe--with some sorry excuse of a mid-boss! Why aren't you stupid, smelly, angry and eating the entrails of some poor villager you caught just before my arrival that would only serve to spur on my desire for your defeat?! Or at the least why aren't you in the middle of trying to r*pe some pretty housewife in front of her children who you'll eat as a snack later that I can save?!"

I was really p.i.s.sed off. Not that I wanted any of those situation to happen, but what the h.e.l.l was up with this guy being so...so G.o.dd.a.m.n PLEASANT?!

He looked at me like I grew a second head. And was absolutely scandalized.

Then he let out a sigh of remorse. "Oh, I guess I can't help it if you have such misconceptions about me and my race. The Orcs and Ogres of the world have long since been given a bad name by those vile people."

"What?" I didn't get it. "What vile people?" I smelled a good story about to unfold.

"The Elves, of course!" He shuddered with repressed anger. "Let me tell you, none of those despicable stories are true! We do not eat intelligent species, most of us are actually herbivores despite our robust physiques, and we certainly don't force ourselves upon women! Those are naught but horrid slander by those... those evil seductresses of the Elven race!"

"...What?" I asked again, both thoroughly confused and engrossed in the tale currently unfolding.

"You must know it was not all of them, however. Only a few actually partic.i.p.ated in the whole thing, but that was enough. It all began many eras ago..." His eyes wandered off. "Back when relations with our two races--sorry, three, including the Orcs--were not quite so bad. At that time we were at war, it's true, but there was not as much hate between us. It was merely a negotions between nations, you understand. Yes, as their husbands bravely fought on the front lines a few dozen or so Elven women had affairs with those of my kind in secret. Tragic, is it not? It wasn't odd for our races to couple during peace times so that wasn't what was wrong. It was that those women were truly evil. Because when their husbands returned to their homes and saw half-Orc and half-Ogre babies, they were furious. Understandably. Yet instead of admitting to their affairs, which would have been bad enough for the husbands to hear, the wives each did something much more cruel and claimed they were ravaged by Orc and Ogre invaders. That for weeks they had been toyed with and used as...Oh I can't even say."

He teared up. His girthy body quaked visibly even under than enormous sack--er, robe--as he recounted his ancestor's sad history.

"But it was not true at all. In fact it was the women who held dominance. They were insatiable! The poor Orc and Ogre commoners--not soldiers--that had fled after their village was destroyed spread and found themselves in enemy territories where they were used by those horrible women. And after the husbands returned and heard the lies, they were killed. One and all, in the most terrible of ways. Those lies continued to grow and soon, after many years, all had heard of them. And the stigma placed upon our races lasted even to this day and age, the truth of our shame and mistreatment forever lost to time. Even those who were told of this never believed us. In fact you're the first to ever come here and NOT mindlessly stab at me. Every other traveler who meets one of my kind think us mere savage monsters who drown themselves in bloodshed and l.u.s.t for women and they never hesitate to either run away or attack with all their might. It's been so hard having to stay here in this stuffy cave all by myself with no one to talk to. This is why I'm truly grateful for your patience and understanding."

"Ah" He got up, wiping away his unsightly appearance. " Sorry, I got a bit heated there, didn't I? I almost forgot. You must be here for the Holy Artifact, yes?"

Holy Artifact?

"Um--"

"Everyone who finds themselves here are the same. Normally they die fighting me, although obviously they leave me no other option but to fight in the first place. I think you and I can skip such matters, eh? I'm not confidant I could beat you anyway. A Dragon-Angel hybrid is a uniquely rare existence I in no way want to do battle with. Oh. Sorry. Pardon my ramblings. I'll lead you to it then."

"Actually, that's not--"

"Come this way, friend. Let's see if you have the virtues of a Hero."

Richard's home was a dome-shaped structure with worn-out paintings and stacks of books along the walls. In the center was a table, a mat, and on the far left was a stack of hay where I a.s.sume he slept.

Behind him was an unblemished gate seemingly made of red crystal which he was leading me to, his enormous hand giving me no real choice in the matter.

An ornate key opened the gate to reveal another, even large s.p.a.ce. In the center of which was a pillar of light shining down upon a silvery sword.

It was a masterfully crafted piece with mystical blue runes glowing down the fuller and a guard comprised of gold. As for the hilt, there was a thumb-sized blue stone attached to the end.

The whole sword had a vibrant holy aura that was only slightly surpressed by the obsidian-black stone in which it was embedded.

This is the Holy Sword the Hero uses in his travels to defeat the Demon King.

"Go ahead, try it." Richard's expectant eyes urged me on.

"Nah, I'm good." I refused.

I guess now I knew why I got such a sense of familiarity here.

"Huh? No, no, it's okay, really. Try it."

"I don't want it though."

"Don't be ridiculous, of course you do."

"Really, I don't."

"But everyone does."

"I'm not everyone."

"I see. But I insist. You came all this way. At least give it a go."

"Why?"

"Well, why not?"

"Because I don't want to. " I repeated. "It won't budge anyway"

"You never know until you try. You could be the Chosen One, you know?"

"Sounds boring. Don't wanna."

"I won't stop asking until you try, okay?" His kind, disgusting face hovered over me.

This guy!

"f.u.c.k! Alright, geez." What a d.a.m.n annoying b.a.s.t.a.r.d.

It won't work anyway. There's only one Chosen One and it ain't me. Why the h.e.l.l do I have to bother? s.h.i.t. So annoying. I should've just killed him.

Grumbling to myself, I walked up to the sword and gave a little tug.

"See? I told you It wouldn't--"

The sword slipped out as easily as a hot knife through b.u.t.ter.

The entire cave lit up, the pillar of light growing larger and more brilliant. I thought I could hear angels singing off in the distance too.

Richard's eyes went wide.

I stared at the sword. This cheating wh.o.r.e...Where's your loyalty?!

What the h.e.l.l am I going to do with this? I don't like swords much anymore. And I'm so totally NOT going to take up the Hero's job for real. h.e.l.l no.

"f.u.c.king useless." I chucked into the air, causing it to land right back into the giant ma.s.s of stone. "Who wants you?"

Richard looked like he was having a heart attack.

I ignored it. "So." I started. "You're not using that handsome-lookin' Great Club back there, are you?"

That's right boys. We're doing a strength build.