Vautrin: A Drama in Five Acts Part 10

Vautrin That is the way a knowledge of the human heart is acquired. You were dealing with a stronger man than yourself.

Lafouraille That remains to be seen; for I am still alive.

Vautrin Enough of that! There is nothing of use to me in your tale.

Lafouraille Can I go now?

Vautrin Come, come. You seem to experience a keen longing to be where I am not. But you went into society yesterday; did you do anything?

Lafouraille The servants said such funny things about their masters, that I could not leave the antechamber.

Vautrin Yet I saw you nibbling at the sideboard; what did you take?

Lafouraille Nothing--but stay--I took a winegla.s.s of Madeira.

Vautrin What did you do with the dozen of gold spoons that went with the gla.s.s of Madeira?

Lafouraille Gold spoons! I've searched diligently, but find nothing of that kind in my memory.

Vautrin Possibly; but you will find them in your mattress. And was Philosopher also absent-minded?

Lafouraille Poor Philosopher! Since morning he has been a laughing-stock below stairs. He induced a coachman who was very young to strip off his gold lace for him. It was all false on the underside. In these days masters are thieves. You cannot be sure of anything, more's the pity.

Vautrin (whistles) This is no joking matter. You will make me lose the house: this must be put a stop to--Here, father Buteux, ahoy! Philosopher! Come here.

Fil-de-Soie! My dear friends, let us have a clearing up. You are a pack of scoundrels.

SCENE THIRD.

The same persons, Buteux, Philosopher and Fil-de-Soie.

Buteux Present! Is the house on fire?

Fil-de-Soie Is it some one burning with curiosity?

Buteux A fire would be better, for it can be put out.

Philosopher But the other can be choked.

Lafouraille Bah! He has had enough of this trifling.

Buteux So we are to have more moralizing--thank you for that.

Fil-de-Soie He cannot want me for I have not been out.

Vautrin (to Fil-de-Soie) You? The evening when I bade you exchange your scullion's cap for a footman's hat--poisoner--

Fil-de-Soie We will drop the extra names.

Vautrin And you accompanied me as my footman to the field marshal's; while helping me on with my cloak, you stole the watch of the Cossack prince.

Fil-de-Soie One of the enemies of France.

Vautrin You, Buteux, you old malefactor, carried off the opera-gla.s.s of the Princesse d'Arjos the evening she set down your young master at our gate.

Buteux It dropped on the carriage step.

Vautrin You should have respectfully handed it back to her; but the gold and the pearls appealed to your tigerish talons.

Lafouraille Now, now, surely people can have a little fun? Devil take it! Did not you, Jacques--

Vautrin What do you mean?

Lafouraille Did not you, Monsieur Vautrin, require thirty thousand francs that this young man might live in princely style? We succeeded in satisfying you in the fashion of foreign governments, by borrowing, and getting credit. All those who come to ask for me leave some with us. And you are not satisfied.

Fil-de-Soie And if, when I am sent to buy provisions without a sou, I may not be allowed to bring back some cash with me,--I might as well send in my resignation.

Philosopher And didn't I sell our custom to four different coach-builders--5,000 francs each clip--and the man who got the order lost all? One evening Monsieur de Frescas starts off from home with wretched screws, and we bring him back, Lafouraille and I, with a span worth ten thousand francs, which have cost him only twenty gla.s.ses of brandy.

Lafouraille No, it was Kirchenwa.s.ser.

Philosopher Yes, and yet you fly into a rage--

Fil-de-Soie How are you going to keep house now?

Vautrin Do you expect to do things of this kind for long? What I have permitted in order to set up our establishment, from this day forth I forbid. You wish, I suppose, to descend from robbery to swindling? If you do not understand what I say I will look out for better servants.

Buteux And where will you find them?

Lafouraille Let him hunt for them!

Vautrin You forget, I see, that I have pledged myself to save your necks!

Dear, dear, do you think I have sifted you, like seeds in a colander, through three different places of residence, to let you hover round a gibbet, like flies round a candle? I wish you to know that any imprudence that brings you to such a position, is, to men of my stamp, a crime. You ought to appear as supremely innocent as you, Philosopher, appeared to him who let you rip off his lace. Never forget the part you are playing; you are honest fellows, faithful domestics, and adore Raoul de Frescas, your master.

Buteux Do you take this young man for a G.o.d? You have harnessed us to his car; but we know him no better than he knows us.

Philosopher Tell me, is he one of our kind?

Fil-de-Soie What is he going to bring us to?

Lafouraille We obey on condition that the Society of the Ten Thousand be reconst.i.tuted, so that never less than ten thousand francs at a time be a.s.signed to us; at present we have not any funds in common.

Fil-de-Soie When are we all to be capitalists?

Buteux If the gang knew that for the last six months I have been disguising myself as an old porter, without any object, I should be disgraced. If I am willing to risk my neck, it is that I may give bread to my Adele, whom you have forbidden me to see, and who for six months must have been as dry as a match.

Lafouraille (to the other two) She is in prison. Poor man! Let us spare his feelings.

Vautrin Have you finished? Come now, you have made merry here for six months, eaten like diplomats, drunk like Poles, and have wanted nothing.