Unworthy Part 6

"I'll be there in a minute." I quickly put my mobile back into my pocket and look back at the scared face that is looking at me. I give her a comforting smile as I place a hand on her shoulder.

"You'll be OK. Why don't you carry on with this and I'll be back later to see how you're doing." She gives me a timid nod as I turn to go to Samuel's office. When I step into his domain he looks as powerful as ever with just a small hint of nerves. I can't help, but wonder what would have him nervous, the man I am used to never lets his nerves show, he is always so in control of his emotions, but he gestures for me to sit and once I do he begins to talk.

"Grace, as I'm sure you already know the business is doing really well, far better than I hoped. With that in mind my father and uncle would like me to go to Spain and Italy to take a look at some land we would like to buy. I would like you to come with me." I watch as he takes in a deep nervous breath and at that moment I would do anything to help him.

"OK, so I... um." Oh my, this is nervous Samuel and he's so adorable, I've never seen a man like this before and it makes me laugh.

"I'm glad you find this funny." He tries to give me a firm look and then takes in another nervous breath.

"I also need to go back home for a couple of days. As you will be with me for Spain and Italy you may as well come with me. My family would like to meet you." His family want to meet me, oh G.o.d, I'm not prepared for that and I feel the sickness rear its ugly face as my body becomes far too hot, but Samuel can see my unease as his next words comfort me.

"Don't worry, Grace, they'll love you. You're a very lovable person." Samuel looks at me as if he expects me to agree with him, but I could never do that, it would be like living a lie that would send me to the fiery depths of h.e.l.l.

"We leave after the weekend, but before then I have a surprise."

CHAPTER THIRTEEN.

GRACE.

"Where are we going?" I ask Samuel as we drive further away from the city. The concentration on his face as he drives leaves my knickers a little damp and I have no idea why. I mean, obviously the guy is handsome and over the last few weeks I have learnt so much about him that I feel like I know him, as in I could see what makes him tick and it's amazing to see. I can see the bones and veins in his hands as he steers the car and I can't help, but continue to watch his large manly hands control the large yet beautiful machine.

"Driving on the left. It's so crazy."

"Only for you." I say as I give away a little giggle and I watch as Samuel glances over at me with an annoyed look.

"Would you like to drive?" I quickly turn to look away from him and to the door window and I can see the beautiful countryside pa.s.s us by. It does look beautiful with the blossoming color of green everywhere you look.

"Please, Samuel, where are we going?"

"Miss Grace, you're so quick to beg." He looks over at me again and I rustle within the confines of my belt and chair as I feel my body heat from within myself from his words.

"No quick reply. Interesting."

"Oh my G.o.d, you're so annoying."

"That's me, sweet cheeks. That's why you love me."

"You're mad." I say, as I shake my head and all I can hear is his laughing. To be so confident must be so nice but, man; it's b.l.o.o.d.y annoying when you're on the receiving end. I always seem to be on the receiving end of something and now I am on Samuel's, although if I am honest it's kind of nice being there, being so close to him. I can't help, but shake my head again as I think how stupid I am, you're allowing yourself more heartache, you silly cow. Stop it now before you succ.u.mb completely and lose yourself to him.

"Where are we going, Samuel?"

"Where are we going? I don't like surprises."

He still doesn't answer me and he turns off at a junction and we leave the motorway, going further into the countryside for another twenty minutes until we get to a pebbled road which leads us to a ma.s.sive field with small planes dotted around. There are two sheds situated together just in front of where Samuel parks the car. Samuel unbuckles his seat belt and opens his car door and gets out walking around the front of the car and I can see his muscles flex through his light clothing as he moves with grace and strength. He reaches my door and opens it and he looks down at me with that cheeky grin of his. I can't help, but look at the way his whole face just seems to light up as he does it. He takes my hand and the fire shoots up my entire arm, heating my body as it travels through every vein that holds my blood and leaves me breathing more heavily than normal.

"W...what are we doing, Samuel?" He pulls me up so I am out of the car and on my shaky feet as I contemplate what he may have in store for me.

"We're going to have some fun." Before I can ask him what kind of fun I am disrupted by another voice which sounds far too bubbly for my nervous state of mind.

"Mr. Harding, it's nice to finally meet you. We have all your equipment and plane ready." I look up and watch the two men, but neither of them seems willing to share any more information on the planned day's activities. Samuel takes a hold of my arm and then pulls me as we follow the other man into one of the sheds. I can see all the planes on the field and as we enter the shed there are three men folding away material that looks like tents of some sort. All the men are dressed head to foot in blue and grey protective gear and I suddenly get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I stop dead as I continue to look around me.

"Plane?" Samuel looks back towards me and must see the fear in my face as he gives me a gentle smile and my heart melts a little.

"Yes a plane." He gives my hand a squeeze.

"We're going to jump out of it."

"W....what?" I must shout the words because all five men in the room look towards me and I can feel my cheeks heat from the embarra.s.sment. Samuel takes a hold of both my hands as he continues to give me his smile.

"Yep. Don't worry; I've done it loads of times so you're completely safe with me."

"I don't understand." I say, looking at Samuel and then going to eye the other man, but he looks like he has seen this many times before. He steps towards us and concentrates solely on myself.

"There's nothing to worry about. Mr. Harding has done this many times before. He knows when to release the 'chute. You'll be attached to the best." I look between them both, still not really understanding what's going on and Samuel seems to be oblivious to my fear. Samuel steps away from me to where there is a collection of more uniforms and our guy is standing in front of me trying to get my attention, but I'm too scared. Oh G.o.d, what is Samuel going to make me do.

"Now, Miss, when you and Mr. Harding are at the opening of the plane you have to make sure you have your knees bent and your feet up as if they're under your b.u.m. Keep your arms into your body and once you are out of the plane you will feel a tap on the shoulder and you pull your arms out to the sides as if you're flying." I nod my head, but I am so overwhelmed that I don't think all the information is sinking in.

I'm going to be jumping out of a plane.

s.h.i.t s.h.i.t s.h.i.t and double s.h.i.t.

With Samuel, oh G.o.d.

I can't do this.

"When the shoot has been released you can let your arms relax and enjoy the ride. When you are landing you must keep your legs up as far as you can, OK." The man sits on the floor and gestures for me to do the same thing so we can both do the move he's just described and the whole time I can feel Samuel's eyes on me.

"Well done, that's great. I think you're ready, let's get you suited up." I walk behind the man as he leads me over to where Samuel is standing with the other men.

"You're very quiet, sweet cheeks, are you OK?" I just look at him with a disgusted look as the other man gestures me to dress in an overall. When I'm done I'm pulled and tugged as they attach the safety gear around my middle, shoulders and between my legs. Samuel watches the entire time, but I'm far too nervous to do anything except to allow the man to prepare me for this stupid activity which is making me feel sicker by the minute. I can't see him as I keep my eyes down, trying to take in deep breaths, but I can sense Samuel by my ear. His smell that I have learnt to love calms me as he talks in my ear so that only I can hear him.

"It will be alright, Grace. Trust me to take care of you." I am s.h.i.tting myself, but his words have soothed me and calmed me in such a way that I can only answer with one word.

"OK."

"Good girl." He gives me a gentle kiss on my forehead which leaves a spark in its wake and at that moment, as I watch his beautiful eyes convey my emotions, I know that I would do anything for him. I'm sure that if I saw a man look like that to any other woman I would say he was in love; the depth of emotions is so deep that even I who am inexperienced can see and feel it. But we are talking about me and things like that don't happen to people like me so I quickly try to push it to the back of my mind. It works as all of a sudden I have a helmet pushed on my head and attached just before Samuel takes a hold of my hand again and we are led to a little white plane. Samuel gets in first and sits at the back of the plane and I am told to sit in the middle of his legs. I try to settle in as comfortably as I can, but I'm in the middle of a man's legs and I can't help, but feel nervous. I have spent my whole life trying to keep myself away from being to close to any other person but as I sit there and I can feel Samuel attach me to him and the 'chute I can't help the thoughts of feeling like I'm home. My ears begin to pop the higher we go and I take a quick look out the window and all I can see is the greenery of the British countryside. It looks beautiful from all the way up here and in the safety of the plane.

"As much as I like to feel you between my legs we need to get closer to the door, Grace." Did he just say what I thought he did? We're about to jump out of a b.l.o.o.d.y plane and that's what he says to me. I can feel my anger brewing and then I remember he also said we had to move closer to the door and that sick feeling rears its ugly head yet again.

"Oh my G.o.d! Did you really just say that to me?"

"You better believe it, sweet cheeks, but you've got to move for me." We move to the front of the plane and then I see our guy open the door just as we get to it and I am confronted by one of my worst nightmares. The world is beneath me as peaceful as can be while I'm getting ready to fall to my death.

"Oh my G.o.d, I can't do this." I scream as loud as I can, but all I get in response is Samuel's laughter and all I can do is shake my head.

"You can do anything you want to, Grace." There's silence for what feels like hours as we just sit at the edge of the plane with my legs up to the back of the entrance as I was told.

"Are you ready?" I begin to shake my head again as I keep my arms as close to my body as I can as I try to answer through the nerves and sickness.

"N...no no no no." And then, all of a sudden I am thrown out of the plane freefalling to my doom. My body falls to earth with a speed I never knew existed. I can feel the pressure against my body and the harsh cold wind attacks my skin as we go crashing through the air. My whole body feels so intense as I try to think how long we have been freefalling and asking myself why the 'chute hasn't been released.

I've annoyed Samuel that much that he's going to kill me.

Why hasn't the 'chute been released?

I'm going to die plummeting to the earth like the devil I am. Before that last thought can be digested I feel a sudden swoosh upwards and then we are floating. I can feel the tap on my shoulder and I let my arms slump to my sides and open my eyes.

"Look at that, isn't it beautiful." I hear Samuel say and now that I feel safe with the 'chute open I can really enjoy the view before me. I can't help, but look all around me at all the different colors as we float back down to earth.

"Samuel, it's beautiful."

"Nearly as beautiful as you." I'm sure I'm hearing things now; the wind has affected my hearing.

"This is one of my favorite hobbies." He's silent for a moment as we both take in the beauty around us. I always loved the countryside, but seeing it from up here gives it a whole new level.

"It's more fun doing it with you." I try not to let his words affect me because I know deep down that they aren't true and I just enjoy the view as we get closer and closer to the ground. To my surprise the ground is coming up before us quicker than I think I would like. I liked the bubble Samuel and I could enjoy just the two of us and now it is coming to an end to never be done again I can't help the sudden sadness that engulfs me. I begin to get my legs up ready for landing.

"You need to get them higher than that, baby."

"Yes, boss." I must be feeling better if I can come back with that. I like to try and keep this alpha male on his toes. Before I know it we've landed and I'm sat on my b.u.m with myself in between Samuel's legs again and I can't help, but like the feeling. The feeling of finding my place within this crazy world, a place with Samuel by my side.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN.

GRACE.

"That was amazing." I say as we walk back to the car.

"You had a good time?" I squeeze his hand as I step in front of him so he can see the seriousness in my face.

"I did." I take in a breath. "Thank-you."

He gives me a smile and then I feel his fingers gently graze my cheek. I notice that I'm beginning to like the way he does that and I feel myself lean in to his touch.

"You're very welcome, Grace." I watch as he seems to struggle with something for a moment and then he opens his mouth to speak and quickly closes it again as if he has changed his mind. We get to the car and Samuel opens my door for me, but just before I go to take my seat he takes my face in both his hands so that we are so close to one another it almost hurts.

"That's the first time I have ever done that with anyone." I look at him, not quite believing what he has just told me. And I give him a questioning look as a little laugh escapes my lips.

"You don't believe me." He places a hand over his chest while he stares down at me, but it doesn't leave me feeling uneasy. On the contrary, it leaves me wanting to comfort him and have his arms wrapped around my body.

"You wound me. To think you don't believe me." He removes his hand from his chest while he places it under his eyes as if he is wiping away tears and I can't help it, all I hear is the loud laughter I produce while he laughs as well. Once we have both calmed down I take my seat and my heart loses too many beats as he stretches over me to take my belt and he traps me within my chair. He stops short just as I hear the buckle click into place and I can feel his breath against my skin. I look up into his eyes and I see so much emotion in them again that it confuses me, but I am not allowed to dwell on it as he runs a finger over my lips looking at me with such intensity that I feel the burn.

"Such beauty." I take a swallow as I maintain eye contact and I can hear a voice deep within myself telling me to look anywhere but at him, but something is keeping my eyes there and the force is too strong to disobey.

"So beautiful, Miss Grace." I feel Samuel's eyes roam up and down my body.

"You have nothing to say?" I feel his nose rub against my own as he continues to run his finger across my lips and then he moves it down my neck to my chest, to just above the peaks of my b.r.e.a.s.t.s and just when I think he's going to go further his fingers have gone and I can feel his face mere inches from my own and his breath by my ear.

"I know you feel it, just as much as I do."

And with those words he is up from his knees and he is walking around the back of the car while I try to take in as many deep breaths as I can to try and control the thoughts that have started to go haywire within my head. He comes around and opens the door and takes his seat behind the wheel of the car. The car is reversed with such speed that I am thrown back into the back of the chair. We sit in silence as we make our way to the motorway and it doesn't seem to take too long till we are getting on the M5 and onto to familiar ground and I can feel the panic begin to creep in at what the M5 means. Home.

"Where are we going, Samuel?" He keeps his face straight on the road ahead which I am grateful for, but right now I need to be able to see his face.

"We're catching our plane from Bristol so we are heading in that direction." Bristol. I can cope with that. But I notice that Samuel keeps looking over at me as if he still has something to say.

"What is it?"

"Well." I can hear Samuel take in a deep breath and before he even says anything I can sense he is about to say something that I will not like.

"I thought it would be nice to stay in Taunton for a few days."

"What?" I shout and I can see Samuel jump in his seat.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down, OK. You grew up there; I thought you would like to go back." I can't believe he just said that, back to my home town is the worst place I could think of going, but I can't blame him as I have never really spoken about my past before. As if he can read my mind he says "You never talk about your past so I just thought you would like it. I want to know more about you. About your childhood." My childhood is nothing I care to talk about and I have to make him change his mind. I just don't know where I would begin. He takes a breath and goes into the slow lane as I see a pub come into view.

"I'm not going to know if you don't tell me." I know the words he says are true, but I have never told anyone what happened in my childhood that drew me to London and I don't intend to now. The only people who really know what happened all those years ago are the few that were supposed to protect me but I am far too damaged to be protected so they didn't. I don't say anything as Samuel comes off the motorway and takes us down another road and closer to the pub I had seen in the distance. All I can think, about is what I will do if anyone recognizes me, how will I explain that to Samuel. He will, just like everyone else in town, feel anger towards me but the thought of Samuel thinking that of me scares me more than I ever thought possible. I have always just got on with it, I know what everyone thinks and for so long I have just tried to stay invisible and for the most part, and even though I have been lonely, it has worked and for that I am grateful. It doesn't matter to anyone else that what they think they know is all lies and so far from the truth, they think they know what happened and it makes me the devil, so everyone else is happy. It doesn't matter to anyone that it was all lies and that inside I am hurting and screaming to anyone that would listen, but no-one will. For so long and up till recently I was all alone in the world and as much as it is welcome, the longer I stay in Samuel's company I realize that there is more that I could enjoy, and that it is OK for little old me to have some friendship or even love. As if my inner self can't tolerate the thought of my own happiness I can feel the blackness of my world take a hold of me and draw me into its depths. I shake away my thoughts, it doesn't matter that I would hate for Samuel to think those things of me that everyone else does, the truth is, once he knows my past he will and then, just like everyone else, he won't want anything else to do with me. He will know I'm not worth it, that I am unworthy of him or anyone else and that would be that. I feel the tears roll down my face and I quickly try to wipe them away before Samuel sees, but I soon realize that we have come to a stop outside the pub and Samuel is watching me intently.

"How long have you been watching me?" I can't help but ask as I try to wipe away the last of my tears.

"Long enough to know you have secrets and that they still hurt you." I look up to his eyes and I see the compa.s.sion that's held there and I so desperately want him to be the one and only I confide in, but the blackness surrounds me, shouting at me to not be a fool and succ.u.mb to Samuel's charms.

"Doesn't everyone?"

"No, Grace, not everyone, some actually talk." He gives me an awkward smile and then looks around at the pub we have been parked in front of for, I don't know how long.

"Come on, let's get something to eat." He opens his car door and I follow suit.

SAMUEL.

We are seated in a quiet area of the pub by one of the many windows and although we are close to the freeway it's actually quite peaceful. I look towards Grace and I can see the depths of her pain through her eyes and body language. She holds herself quite tight and it's as if a gust of wind would knock her over. She has gone back to that vulnerable girl I met all those weeks ago and I want to take her by her delicate shoulders and shake it out of her. I know she holds secrets and although normally I wouldn't give a s.h.i.t, something in this girl has me standing to attention, begging her to trust me and share with me all that troubles that beautiful head of hers.

"What's the matter?" I ask her. She looks up to me with sad eyes and then with a blink it's as if the pain I once saw is wiped away. Since I met her she has been doing so well and as soon as I mentioned her home town it was as if she did a full one eighty and she has converted herself back to that timid, scared little girl.

"I'm OK." But I can see the lie that resides there in her eyes.

"I don't think you are sweet cheeks." She looks at me with an anger I haven't seen in her since I met her and it makes me feel for her more than I thought was possible. My feelings are growing and growing for her the longer I spend with her and I never want to let her go. I see her look at me in a way that no-one has ever looked at me before, she sees me, actually sees the man I am rather than the man the rest of the world sees.