Unworthy Part 5

"What would you like to eat?" I can't believe out of all the places to eat this is where Mr. Samuel Harding had taken me, I can't help, but wonder how many journalists would like this story. I tell him what I want and I watch as he goes to order and pay. From the distance available I can still get a good view of him. He has taken off his coat and I can see his broad shoulders and how his waist goes in to only show off his firm b.u.m as they are hugged nicely by the jeans he wears. The look is even better after he has turned around and I am faced with the front of this fine body and handsome face that could melt any girl's heart.

"Including mine." As I look down, pulling and releasing my band, I see the tray placed on the table and as I look up I see Samuel's c.o.c.ky grin.

"Did you say something?"

"Just talking to myself." He seems happy to just leave my disturbed moment unsaid as he sits down in front of me and we both sit in silence as we eat our meal, although I can't help, but moan as I take a bite out of my chicken mc sandwich. I have never eaten something so bad, but oh so good, before and I can't help the smile as I put down my hands once the last bite has been eaten.

"You enjoy that?"

"Oh G.o.d, yes." He looks at me and I can see that he is trying to fight with himself to say something and then, like magic, it disappears to show the confident man I feel I know so well.

"I can't help, but wonder all the other ways I could get you to say those words or moan like that." I think I actually stop breathing as I try to digest what he has just said to me, and as I look at him he gives nothing away. With that I can't help, but yawn as Samuel begins to put our rubbish back onto the tray.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." He picks up the tray with one hand and then holds on to mine with the other.

Within half an hour Samuel is opening the door into the penthouse.

"Are we staying in the same room?" I ask, with what I can only describe as questioning yet concerned all in one.

"Yes, but don't worry it's the penthouse so it has two rooms." Oh G.o.d, I can't stay in the same suite as him, when he said about staying here I thought we would have separate rooms. Oh G.o.d, what have I done, he's probably already informed my landlord and I'll be homeless. I can feel the walls closing in around me as I just stare at the door, not knowing all the threats it may possess.

"Hey, Grace, you don't have to look so scared. I won't bite. Only if you ask me to." There's that wink again and I'm quickly drawn away from my thoughts as Samuel opens the door and I get a glimpse into Samuel's world. If I was scared at the thought of his world then it is nothing compared to how I feel as I take a step into the suite. It is like nothing I have ever seen before; the grand scale of the entire suite is unbelievable. Pale paint covers the walls with a gold trim round the edge, the floors are a deep wood, and there is a fireplace on the back wall with a mini bar just to the left of that. Just to the front of the door there is a small upscale kitchen with a ma.s.sive dining table just off from that. In the middle of the room is the mounted TV with leather chairs around that area and a coffee table in the centre. I am speechless as I look around, the bedrooms are just as nice and when I walk into the bathroom I know I will not be going to sleep.

"Do you mind if I have a bath?"

"Go ahead." He steps through the door and I step up to the pool-like bath and begin to turn the waterfall taps. I pour the luxury bubble bath and I am surprised when it doesn't take too long to fill. The water is just perfect as I step into the hot water. As I lie back into the water it is as if the steam and the bubbles are melting my stress away. My whole body feels like it is encased in the softness of blankets and I feel so calm and relaxed as I just lie there trying to think of anything other than the man that is in the other room. Once out of the bath and dried I get dressed into my most comfortable pajamas. The fabric is warm after being on the heaters and I brush my hair as I look at my relaxed face in the mirror. I feel and look like a completely different person, I guess I have spent so many years neglecting myself to the simple things in life that I have forgotten what they are like and their effect on the human body. I open the door and begin to make my way to my bedroom when Samuel comes right up in front of me.

"What are you wearing?"

"Pajamas. What does it look like?" I see him roll his eyes and then look up and down my body to only land back at my b.r.e.a.s.t.s. I can feel the nipples come to life under his stare and I can only hope they aren't erect so he can see his effect on me and my stupid body.

"I know that. What I mean." And he takes in a deep breath as he tries to look at anything other than me.

"What I mean to say is that a body as beautiful as yours should be wrapped in silk or nothing at all." All I can do is swallow the liquid that has pooled in the back of my mouth as I watch him walk away and I try to regain some sort of composure.

What did he mean by that? Don't be stupid, Grace, you're going to be working with the man. He's obviously just trying to be nice so you do a good job for him. Yes, that's it, there is no way that he could have really meant what he said. I slowly make my way to my bedroom and get into my bed and before I know it I have succ.u.mbed to the tiredness that has taken over my body.

CHAPTER ELEVEN.

SAMUEL.

I have spent the last couple of days in a complete daze. I was spending those days with the most amazing woman I have ever met. The way she carries on with her work is intoxicating; I have never seen anyone else work, apart from my father or uncle, with the pa.s.sion she is showing. Just like me, she is determined to find out what is going on within my family's business. We both work tirelessly throughout these few days, only resting for a few hours' sleep each night. Each time Grace is nestled on the sofa I can't help, but watch her sleep. She looks so beautiful and peaceful and I have never had the urge to protect something more than my family in my life. Her lips are full and plump and are begging me to kiss and take them into my teeth to bite and suck. Her chest rises and falls with the breaths she is taking and they look so inviting, her skin looks as soft as silk and I want to feel my c.o.c.k in between the valley of those round, full b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Her shaped eyebrows screw in as if she is having a nightmare and as I watch her I can't help, but allow the need to protect her overtake me. I don't know what plagues her, but I want her to have the courage to tell and trust me so I can attempt to make it better. I am so confused at my thoughts for this woman, a woman I have only just recently met, but who is working her way into my every thought.

On Monday morning I wake up early and head to the gym. I am worked up by the female I am spending my time with, am agitated s.e.xually and with what I have to do later on that morning. I run on the treadmill and then take all my aggression out on the punch bag till I am wet all over with my own sweat. When I get back to our suite I can hear her moving around within her room and head off to take a shower. When I am shaved, clean and dressed I step out into the main room where I can see Grace sat at the dining table eating breakfast. She hears me approach and with a mouth around a watermelon she looks up at me and I feel my c.o.c.k come to life at the sight ahead of me and I can't help, but wish it was my c.o.c.k wrapped around those delicate fingers, gaining closer and closer to that delicious mouth of hers. I have to mentally shake myself back into reality before I gave my situation away. I am already doing that enough and I can see from her reactions that she is not ready for any type of relationship. I'm not sure if I am ready, but if it means being able to spend more time with her outside of work then I will be more than willing to give it a go. Don't get me wrong, I still want her in my bed, but the need to get to know her more is begging to become more important, and for some strange reason I am more expectant of this new development. I sit with her at the table, trying not to keep watching her, although I can feel her eyes on me.

"Did you sleep well?" I ask her. I have to cover a common ground rather than the s.e.xual thoughts that are a constant thought whenever I am in her presence.

"Yes, thank-you, and you?" She gives me a gentle smile that just lights up her entire face as she waits for my answer.

"Yes." I reach over for some toast and watch her as I eat it, just watching her become more self-conscious and I want to laugh at how cute she looks. s.h.i.t, did I just think she looks cute? This woman is completely f.u.c.king with me.

We finish our breakfast in silence and I'm just content to sit there and watch her eat. It's as if I'm completely fascinated by her, I want to watch how she runs her everyday life. The way her mouth moves around the food as she eats, or how those full lips rest on the rim of her gla.s.s. I find that I could, or rather, I need to watch her all day. It's so unnerving for me, I've never been like this, but I'm finding it completely compelling. I force my eyes away from her as I look down at my watch and realize that we should get going. In the back of the limo her light fragrance invades me and I want to use my tongue up that long neck she tries to keep hidden with a scarf. She looks so sophisticated and unsure of herself all in one, and I can't help but wonder why, but G.o.d d.a.m.n it, I will find out. She's becoming important enough to find out. If I allow myself, I'm sure these mad feeling could grow into something deeper and that would normally scare the s.h.i.t out of me, but looking at her now I can't feel anything, but hope.

"Grace, could you go get those folders from my office, please?" I ask her as we make our way across our floor to the conference room. It's very quiet in the building as it's still quite early so when Grace comes in with the folders we have time to go through them before I get buzzed from the front desk to tell me that the family lawyer has arrived. Before I leave for my office I ask Grace to send an email out to all the management staff members to inform them that there will be a meeting at ten that morning. I make my way to my office and I see the security guard walking the lawyer to the room as well. Even after all this time the man standing before me with his hand out for me to shake scares the s.h.i.t out of me. My father and uncle have used him ever since they started their company; they trust him completely with anything in regards to the company and our family. With that being said, I've known the man since I was a small boy and the fears I had then have never really gone away, he's a fireball in any situation, no-one confronts him and wins. He speaks of a power and confidence I have never ever seen apart from the two main men in my family. I know the females of the family are my uncle and father's weakness, but I have never found out what the lawyer's is and that is what makes him more frightening. I show him all the evidence Grace and I have found throughout the course of the weekend and all he does is smile at me while he tells me not to worry. Before I know it, it's nearing ten and Grace knocks on my door.

"They're all waiting." she says, as she stands in the doorway looking alluring in her grey, but cheap suit. The woman should be nothing, but couture. I look between the two of them as I take my own folder from my table top.

"Show time." We make our way to the conference room, and as I step in the door I can't help, but notice the worried faces that look back at me. That's right, you stealing f.u.c.kers, you should be worried and I decide to keep them waiting as I take my time to take my seat. Grace and the lawyer take their seats next to me, Grace with a notepad and pen in both her hands ready for the action. I take a sip of water as I watch each and every one of them as they sit around the table and I swear I can hear the rapid beating of each of their hearts.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen." I take another sip of my water, just to prolong the anxiety.

"We were already here last week, but none of you were forthcoming with information so I had to make my own with some help. Do you know what I found, ladies and gentlemen?" I take a look around at all the faces and just like me they are all looking around at each other waiting for anyone except themselves to answer my question. I hate people like this. They did the deed, but now that I'm asking questions they won't open up and tell the person they have wronged what they did. f.u.c.king wimps all of them, and they have no place within these walls. I take a look at each and every one of them and when no-one offers to speak I take the opportunity, like a true Harding male.

"OK. If you would all like to take a look at the folders that my new a.s.sistant, Grace," I gesture a hand towards her and all she does is nod her head as she continues to look down. Her head should be up high with pride, but these f.u.c.kers have helped to keep it down.

"Has done up for you, you'll see that we have both been very busy. The business has done very well, but not nearly as well as it should have done. In all the years you ladies and gentlemen have been in charge there has been no progression into other areas of the business. There should be enough money to at least build a new hotel here and there within Europe like my father has suggested, but there has been nothing. Would anyone like to guess a reason why?" Again, they all look around the table at each other with nervous glances. They know I have them and they're s.h.i.tting bricks. Good. I look around the table at each of them as they plead with their eyes for me to save them from their own making. I can't do it, though; they have messed with the wrong family. As an employer we are always fair and give rewards to our valued staff and these f.u.c.kers have been taking the p.i.s.s.

"OK." I bite my bottom lip and I begin to nod my head as I cross my arms in front of my stomach.

"I'll let my lawyer tell you." I take a seat as the lawyer stands up and I don't even listen to him, I just look at the faces around me go into complete shock as they realize they've lost their jobs. There are a few looks of hatred centered right at me, but most is just of sorrow and regret and I could almost feel sorry for them and I'm glad the lawyer and I came up with the agreement we have. We won't press charges as long as they return the money and leave here with no issues. Time goes by and then they have all left and I am in the room with Grace and the lawyer. I look towards him as I shake his hand.

"Thank you Mr. Jones."

"You're more than welcome, Mr. Harding. I'll see you soon, I'm sure." And with that he exits the room and it's just me and Grace left. I can feel her unease radiate throughout her and all I want to do is comfort her, but this I have to admit is too much fun. I really am a b.a.s.t.a.r.d, but her innocence speaks louder than any musical instrument. Her body language is just begging me to save her from herself and her past and I would be an idiot not to help. The more time I spend with her, the more I become entrapped within the web she is weaving around me and I can't ask to be in a better place. As I watch her I feel the anger rolls over me in waves as she continues to keep her head down. I sit back down so I am less of a threat to her; I've never cared s.h.i.t for that before. That's what she is starting to do to me and I can't help, but like it.

"Do I intimidate you that much that you can't even look at me?" She slowly raises her head and I am greeted by that beautiful face. I can see the sadness that hides within the depths of her very soul as I look into her eyes, such a beautiful color that holds too much emotion. It's then that I realize that I could really care for this woman who sits before me like a scared animal.

"Y...yes." She says, just barely loud enough for me to hear it.

"Most people do, so you're not alone. But maybe just once I want something different."

"W...what?" I've panicked her; best keep this as low key as I can. G.o.d, I'd love to know what's messed her up so much that she's so nervous and uptight. The challenge of unraveling her would be amazing and the rewards would be even better.

"Calm down, sweet cheeks, don't get your panties in a twist." She looks at me a little confused and I can't help, but laugh as she slowly shakes her head at me.

"Panties? Do you mean knickers? You're not going anywhere near my knickers, rich boy." There's that fire that she every so often lets me see and it entraps me every time it comes out of her mouth, but she has to ruin it by saying rich boy. I've always been known as the rich boy, people are only ever interested in what I can do for them, but even though Grace says it I know that it is not meant in the same way. She is not like any other person I have met before. She doesn't care about the money I have and it couldn't be any more refreshing. I stand up again and hold out my hand for her to take.

"Come."

"Where are we going?" She asks, with both her hands still placed on the table.

"Out. Anywhere, but here." I take her hand that is nearest to me and I pull her up from the cage of her seat. I can tell her legs are like Jell-O as she is slightly unstable on her feet, so I have to place both my hands around her waist to steady her. She feels warm as I close in towards her and I can feel her body mould around mine. It's as if we are made to fit one another. I've never believed that rubbish, but that was before I met someone who I could see a future with.

What the f.u.c.k? I pull away from her and grab a hand and lead her away from the conference room and the floor.

CHAPTER TWELVE.

GRACE.

The man reeks of confidence.

A confidence I would love to hold myself, but my past has made me so damaged that I know that it could never happen. I sometimes feel like I am a lost soul, just going through the motions of every day living, just praying that someone will help get me out of it. I'm not stupid enough to think that I live in a fairy tale, this is the real world and s.h.i.t happens. s.h.i.t has definitely happened in my past and I don't deserve the fairy tale or to even walk around my peers with the same amount of confidence as Samuel possesses.

I'm damaged goods; I'm the devil in disguise.

I only bring pain and loneliness to the people I have ever loved or who should love me, but can't because it's too hard to let me get too close. That's why my father left; I was too hard to deal with so he left me with the woman who was supposed to love me unconditionally. Instead, she hated me and my father had left me to that life without a care to the world. I deserve it though, I'm a horrible person.

I'm a pathetic excuse of a human being. I am soon pulled out of those very thoughts and they are soon forgotten until I allow them to reemerge as I realize we are out on the streets of London walking along the south bank of the river Thames and towards the London Eye. It's so big as I look up and stop dead in my tracks, staring at the large ferries wheel. Samuel stops and looks at me with a questioning look.

"Where are we going?" I ask him as I try to swallow around the words. I can feel a tug at my hand and Samuel's smile loosens the fear that holds me to my spot.

"Come. There's nothing to worry about, I'll protect you." And he gives me a wink and I can't help the words that fall from my stupid lips.

"If only you could." He looks me up and down, trying to take in what I've said, but I'm not going to elaborate so I don't say anything. He pulls me towards the front entrance and we are quickly walked to one of the many capsules which we have all to ourselves. Samuel lets go of my hand and I watch as he walks right up to the gla.s.s and I can see him watch the view as I feel the capsule move.

"What are we doing, Samuel? Don't we have work to do?" He turns around and I see the biggest smile I have ever seen grace his face and I'm sure another part of the ma.s.sive wall I've built around myself begins to crumble, but not yet fall.

"Of course, but it can wait for now. Come have a look." He gestures out his hand for me again and I don't know why, but I take that hand and step up to the gla.s.s. As we continue to get higher I can see the beautiful view of London laid out beneath me and I can't believe that in all the years I have lived here I have never thought of doing this before, it's simply beautiful. It revolves around at a slow and steady pace so you have the time to take everything in. We can see Canary Wharf, Tower of London, Tower Bridge, Buckingham Palace, The Mall, Big Ben looks proud and tall and the whole scene before me is stunning.

I sense Samuel step away from me, but I just take in the view.

"I have something for you." I'm sure I have misheard him but as I look towards him I see that he has a small box in his hands and my body goes into some type of shock.

"What?" I manage to get out and all Samuel does is shake his head at me as he gives away a little giggle.

"Don't worry; it's just to say thank-you." With that he opens the box and inside is a beautiful pair of gold diamond stud earrings. They look so expensive and there is no way that I can accept them, he has done too much already for me and I can't let him do anymore, I can't.

"They're just to say thank-you, Grace, don't panic" It's a rather expensive gift just to say thank-you and before I know it he's putting the box in my bag "I can't."

"Yes, you can, and I want you to have them." All I can do is look away from him as I say thank-you and out of the corner of my eye I can see his smile as he thinks he's won.

As we get closer to the ground I can't help, but melt at the wondrous look upon Samuel's face.

"I guess we should get back to the office now." He turns away from the view that is slowly disappearing beneath us and shakes his head at me.

"What?" I can't help, but ask him as I can hear the laughter he releases at my expense. I can't help, but fear it is centered at me. Just like everyone else.

"So quick to go back to work, have you ever just allowed yourself to have some fun, Grace?" He looks at me in that way he does and I can feel myself become uneasy at his question.

"Fun."

"Yes, Grace, fun. Many people do it during the weekends or of an evening, anytime they feel like it; you should give it a try." I am left speechless as I take in his words and I can see the small smile he gives away as he watches me and takes in my reaction to his statement. What a jerk, I mean who does this guy think he is. I mean, he's my boss, my very attractive boss, but what gives him the right to say this to me? I'm just about to tell him what for when the b.a.s.t.a.r.d beats me to it.

"Do you even know how to have fun?" That's it, I've had enough of this, of course I know how to have fun, and who does he take me for? A complete loser? Oh my G.o.d, I am so stupid, that's completely what I am, but I can't let this man know that. There is no way that I can let anyone know that I have no friends, that I keep myself isolated in the fear of getting people hurt or hurting myself more than I already do. That's why my father left and why my mother hates me and I can't help, but shed a tear as I think of my lost family, the family I never or will ever have. I can feel a sudden squeeze of my hand and as I look up Samuel has his perfectly-shaped brows up.

"Are you still with me, Grace?"

"Y...yes." I can't help, but stutter around that one word and as I try to control the need to run and protect myself I can see Samuel doesn't believe me.

"Are you sure? You looked like you were somewhere else?"

"Yes. Samuel, I said yes didn't I." I didn't mean to sound so abrupt, but at the thought of him not believing my little lie it just kind of came out. I try to cover my face with my hands; at the moment it seems to be the only way to hide. I can feel Samuel's hands on mine before I see them and he begins to remove my hands from my face.

"You're too pretty to hide." He whispers, so only I can hear him as he searches my face. I can feel the tingles shoot up my entire body as it heats up under his stare. I can't help, but look down, there's no point looking at him because the moment I do I will think he would actually mean it and there is no way that that could be a possibility.

"Never look down, Grace." And he pushes my chin up so I'm forced into the sea of grey that are his eyes and I can see honesty there, but it's not for me. There is no way it could be for me, I'm damaged and unworthy of anything good, history has taught me that over and over again, I just never seem to learn from my lessons. I can sense him looking at me again with that questioning look of his and once he has my attention again he begins to talk.

"Am I right in remembering you're without a cell phone?"

"I have a mobile" He rolls his eyes at me.

"I know that, but you said it wasn't for calls." This is so embarra.s.sing, how can I explain to a man who has as much money as Samuel does that I can't afford credit. There is never anyone that I would want to talk to anyway; no-one wants to talk to me so why spend money on something when I could put it towards my mortgage.

"What's the matter, Grace?" I take in a breath while watching him continue his staring match and no matter how many times he does it; it still leaves me uneasy, but tingly all over.

"I couldn't afford it, OK." He watches me the entire time with his head held high and once I have confessed he lowers it as if he has just understood me.

"Come on." In a flash he takes hold of my hand again and leads me to a black cab where he asks the driver to take us to Oxford Street. I can feel his eyes watching me, trying to read my thoughts, but there's nothing to read anyway so I don't know why he is even bothering.

"Why do you keep watching me?" I can't help, but ask nervously.

"I think there's a lot to know about you. A lot that you don't like sharing with people." I focus on the window as I can feel his eyes a.s.sessing me, but he doesn't say anything else as the cab takes us to our destination. Once there, Samuel takes me through all the people to one of the most expensive phone shops I have ever heard of. As much as I try to decline him he doesn't give up and I end up leaving the store with the most expensive phone that they had. It's ridiculous, I don't need the darn thing, I didn't need the earrings which are burning a hole in my bag, but he insisted and when he does that it's very hard to say no. I will give Samuel his due, when he wants something he's persistent and he gets what he wants. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d.

We make our way back to the office where I watch Samuel give a meeting to everyone to let them all know what has happened and they all seem surprised, many just seem to be grateful that they can keep their jobs. Samuel controls every room he enters and he conveys so much power and confidence that it is overwhelming. He's a sight to be seen while he is in his element and you can tell he is enjoying every moment of it. We spend the next couple of weeks sorting out the business and getting it back on track, two weeks in and Samuel officially announces the job roles that are now needing to be filled. The applications come rolling in and together we go through them all. During this time I get to know Samuel quite well.

He's the only son of both the owners of the business and is obviously the only heir. It appears that he has a very close family and I feel envious as he describes his family. The love he holds for each member comes out in waves as he talks about them and his face lights up. He has a mother and father, his uncle has been married twice. The first wife died not long after Samuel was born and the second he divorced soon after they returned from him working in London. He has three sisters who each have a husband and children and the same for his three cousins. There's a six year age gap between him and the younger daughter, but you can tell from the way he speaks of them they all get on well with each other, even if there are times they don't all see eye to eye. As he talks of days out, holidays or parties it is always as a big family group, they never did anything unless they all did it together and to have grown up in such a family must have been overwhelming, but nice. It's still the same now he has told me, but then he really surprised me by saying I would find out myself soon enough. I don't know what he meant and the scary thing is I don't do what I would normally do and go into panic and stress mode, I actually like the idea of seeing a normal family. While he was younger he would get teased by his siblings and cousins that he was the favorite just because he was a boy. The very idea that a group of teenage girls would chase a tormented five year old Samuel around until they could clothe him up like a girl practicing their make up techniques on him has me laughing so much that I'm sure I almost pee myself. I never had siblings myself so to hear what Samuel and his got up to puts my hopes up that there is such a thing as a happy perfect family. My own family is anything but, but what Samuel is describing and as much as I have always thought that I was OK with what I was dealt with I am beginning to realize that mine are far from happy or perfect and I long for what Samuel had growing up. How maddening is that? To wish for a life you can never have, for a childhood you can never get back. It is useless, but even so I still enjoy listening to Samuel. The way his lips move is mesmerizing and I can slowly feel myself being pulled further into the Samuel effect. His grey eyes tell me what he is thinking even with no words being said, he is happy to tell me his stories, stories that I can tell he rarely tells anyone else, but he thinks enough of me to choose me. As the weeks slowly go by I am beginning to realize that he is far away from the rich boy I had irrationally thought of him as. He is so much more than that, he is kind and thoughtful and I find myself enjoying spending my time with him. The only future I have ever thought of is a work or bricks and mortar home, I never once saw myself with a man I loved or who loved me. A family of my own was never anything I felt I deserved so I would keep it to the back of my mind, but the more time I spend with Samuel, the more he is bringing those very thoughts to the surface and making me think of those things with Samuel by my side. I had never thought that would be anything I would ever envision myself doing before and although the thoughts are scary I can't help, but be hopeful that they will one day happen. As much as I try to allow these thoughts to rule my head as well as my heart there is always that little voice deep within me that reminds me of how bad I am.

That I don't deserve to be happy, that I am unworthy Soon we have all the roles filled.

Samuel seems far less stressed and more relaxed as we go through each new person's training sessions. As I look at each schedule I feel so bad for each of them, their training is so intense, but Samuel a.s.sures me that once trained they will be prepared for their new roles. There is a complete change in the atmosphere at work, everyone seems more relaxed and calm, and it is like working in a completely different building. Everyone seems happy and I find for the first time in what feels like a life time - which I suppose in a way it is - I am happy as well. Over the last few weeks I have been waking after a good night's sleep completely refreshed and daring to get into work and see what the day has in store for me. I am becoming more confident in my abilities to do the job that Samuel asks of me and I have even started to speak with a few of the other girls in the office. They are all so nice it makes we wonder why I have always shied away from people; it isn't nearly as scary as I have always feared it would be. I am beginning to look in every mirror I see and see a different person staring back at me. It is refreshing not to see the scared timid girl that would normally greet me and I can never stop the smile spread on my face. I am sure Samuel can tell I am changing, he looks at me with a ma.s.sive smile on his face and he touches my hand or my arm more often as if he thinks I will be more accepting of his advances. I am in my own little way, my feelings for him as I get to know more about him are becoming more intense and I dread the day he will move back to America. I will miss him terribly, but the thought of anything more still scares me enough to not allow my feelings to develop. The effects of losing him with more emotions involved would be even worse and still a part of me can hear those oh-so-familiar words telling me that I am unworthy and no-one like Samuel will ever have feelings for someone like me. I am doing so well that I try hard to ignore those horrible little noises and I am so busy with work that I never really have time to dwell on my old insecurities.

We are coming into the last week of April and everything within the business is going so well. It is the Friday morning and I am showing the ropes to a new intern that has just started when my mobile starts to ring. As I pick it out from the confines of my pocket I can see the words Rich Boy staring me in the face.

"h.e.l.lo, Samuel."

"Grace could you please come to my office."