Tommy's Story Part 4

"I don't know. I just know I'm not interested in girls. Sandra Southland likes me and wanted me to kiss her. I did, but it was no big deal. I wasn't that into it. Then, she wanted me to touch her b.o.o.bs, but I was like, no way! All the other guys would be s...o...b..ring over her. She's a hottie. But it just doesn't turn me on."

"Do guys?" Tommy asked, giving this conversation the attention and sincerity it deserved.

"I don't know. Not anybody in particular. I've only, well, one time... you're going to think I'm awful," Gom said, again ducking his head.

"Doubt it. Tell me. One time, what?" Tommy asked.

"One time, in the middle of the night, I went downstairs to get something to eat and I heard something in the den. I thought everyone else was asleep. I went to check it out. It sounded funny, like a song, but not really. It was Soldier, humming. Tommy, he was humming, and he and Dillon were dancing together. They were holding each other so tight and Dillon's head was on Soldier's shoulder and Soldier had his hand in Dillon's hair and his face was stuck in Dillon's neck." Tommy noticed Gom's eyes were huge and a little wet as he talked.

"What'd you do?" he asked.

"I froze. It was... it was beautiful, Tommy. They never saw me, but I went back upstairs, and all I could think about all night was how much I wanted to feel what I know they were feeling for each other. Is that like, bad or perverted or something?"

"Not at all; it sounds beautiful like you said. Don't you worry about it since you're not into anybody right now. Just take things as they come. If you fall for someone and need to talk, you know I'll be here for you. You know Soldier and Dillon will, too. Right now, get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

Tommy settled into Daniel's waiting arms after locking the apartment door and finding him on the couch.

"Gom okay?" Daniel asked, pulling Tommy to him.

"Yeah, he will be. We talked a little. He thinks he might be gay. How weird is that? Of all us boys, only the two who were actually adopted by Soldier and Dillon turn out to be gay. Reckon people will have something to say about it?"

"I think it has more to do with your histories and the love and acceptance you each found that makes you able to be comfortable admitting what you feel. Don't borrow trouble. Come here, I really need a kiss," Daniel said, showing both wisdom and wanting.

Tommy went eagerly, pressing his lips to Daniel's and accepting the tongue that touched softly before entering his mouth. He sucked on it, loving Daniel's groan. The kiss went on for some time, changing from gentle and sweet to hard and heated. Tommy finally pulled back a little and, acting on a sudden idea, stood and held out his hand to Daniel. Daniel took it immediately and stood with him, a question in his glance.

Tommy started to hum softly as he drew Daniel to the center of the room.

"Want to dance?"

"I'd love to." Daniel moved into Tommy's arms and they stood for a moment without moving; Tommy just loving being in Daniel's embrace. Dropping his head to Daniel's shoulder, he began to shuffle his feet, Daniel moving with him. Daniel picked up the tune Tommy was humming and they spent a wonderful time, moving slowly and so very closely. Tommy knew it was something he would remember for a long time.

"How do you feel about a shared shower and early bedtime?" Daniel muttered his suggestion in Tommy's ear.

"You don't want to, I mean, you..." Way to go, Silver tongue! Way to go, Silver tongue! How come he couldn't talk like an adult when it came to things like s.e.x? How come he couldn't talk like an adult when it came to things like s.e.x?

"Don't I want to make love to you? Always, Tommy, but it's not something that we have to do every time we're together. There is no pressure to keep doing more. Don't ever feel like you have to do things to keep me interested or coming back or just to keep loving you. Being lovers means being close to each other and doing intimate things, not just making love. There are so many forms of intimacy. This, for example, is amazing. I feel so very close to you, not just your body, but your heart."

Tommy pulled his head back and looked at Daniel. "That was really beautiful. I would love to shower with you again and if we can sleep naked, let me get used to being with you like that, I would love it. I'm not saying that if things develop I'd be against it, though, you know?" Tommy never wanted to be unavailable to Daniel if he wanted something. Did that make him seem more accommodating than loving? He didn't want to come off like he would do whatever Daniel wanted, whether it was what he was feeling at the time or not. But, he also didn't think Daniel would want anything from him that he couldn't do.

"Come on, sweetheart, we'll do whatever we feel like doing, always. Just remember the we we in that and we won't ever have any doubts. So far, I don't think we have any problem with one wanting something the other doesn't, do you?" Daniel asked, taking Tommy's hand and tugging a little, heading for the bedroom. Tommy was touched by the fact that Daniel seemed able to clue in to what he was thinking and respond without making him feel so backward. in that and we won't ever have any doubts. So far, I don't think we have any problem with one wanting something the other doesn't, do you?" Daniel asked, taking Tommy's hand and tugging a little, heading for the bedroom. Tommy was touched by the fact that Daniel seemed able to clue in to what he was thinking and respond without making him feel so backward.

Tommy eagerly followed him, ready to experience more with the man he'd loved for so long. He was pleasantly surprised that he wasn't as freaked out about intimacy as he'd feared. Part of his being uncomfortable was the fact that he was older than most people who were beginning an intimate relationship and he felt awkward and a little backward. Daniel didn't make him feel that way, but Tommy couldn't help it. He vowed to work on not letting it show.

That night was wonderful. The shower was as exciting as before and led to Tommy feeling warm and ready for the night ahead. They kissed and cuddled, held each other tightly as they slept and Tommy couldn't believe how much he reveled in being so close to another human being. Being this close to Daniel was going to become a necessity to him very soon.

He realized that he didn't even know where Daniel lived. How could that be? Daniel was just always at the shelter or at Scarcity and now with him, but he literally had no idea where Daniel called home.

The next morning when he awoke he looked over to find Daniel watching him.

"I'm embarra.s.sed," he admitted, covering his face with one hand.

"Why, hon?" Daniel sounded worried.

"I realized right before I fell asleep that I don't even know where you live. We've known each other since I was twelve, worked together, and fell in love and I've never even thought about where you sleep every night. It makes me feel like such a loser, like your life isn't important enough for me to know things about you. I'm so sorry. Do you think I'm a dud as a lover, not knowing something so basic about you?" Tommy asked, not wanting to see a look of disappointment on Daniel's face.

He felt Daniel's hand pulling his from his face and there was Daniel's face right above him.

"Silly, why does that embarra.s.s you? I've never told you so how would you know? I have a room at the shelter. I've never needed any more than that and that way I'm there full time. I hope I won't always live there..." Daniel stopped and Tommy took up the sentence.

"...because you're in love with someone who has plenty of room and would love to have you live with him." Tommy would have been even more embarra.s.sed if he could have seen the look on his face when he finished that monumental sentence. Daniel was just looking at him, dumbstruck.

"I'm sorry. It's too soon, I know. I don't know what I was thinking. I shouldn't have said anything like that. We haven't even..." Tommy stopped and sighed. Could he sound any more juvenile? Really?

"Tommy, stop second guessing everything you say. No one, especially me, is judging or testing you. This is the beginning of a loving relationship that I hope will be as wonderful as the one you grew up watching. You've learned from the best, Tommy, and you deserve just as much." Daniel scooted closer and used the hand that was still holding Tommy's to cradle Tommy's face before adding, "Now, as to your statement. Nothing would make me happier than living here with you, going to bed with you every night, waking with you each day, planning meals with you, spending time with your family, talking over our days. All of that sounds wonderful. I've missed that, having someone to share with. The physical side of things will be a bonus and we'll have a great time adding to our growing repertoire of experiences."

Tommy couldn't help the chuckle that erupted at Daniel's choice of words. Bless the man's heart for saying it like that instead of mentioning the fact that they were taking things slowly. His caring and understanding were just a couple of the reasons Tommy had fallen for him. Through the years he'd had many chances to see Daniel's goodness in action.

"G.o.d, I love you. You have no idea what you mean to me." Tommy wished he were more eloquent. He admitted as much to Daniel. "I wish I knew how to tell you."

"Honey, what is better than saying I love you? Besides, the feeling is absolutely mutual. You know, it's really early and we have lots of time before we have to be anywhere. I know you want to check on Gom and I have to get to the shelter, but..." Tommy didn't let Daniel get any further. He reached up and pulled Daniel's head down and took a kiss. Meaning only to make it a quick one before getting up and brushing his teeth, he was surprised when Daniel pushed right in and the small kiss became something much bigger in seconds.

"Mmmph." He could only make a m.u.f.fled sound. Daniel gradually moved over until he was lying almost completely on Tommy. Tommy loved it. He wrapped his arms around Daniel and held on tight, pulling him closer, spreading his legs and letting Daniel settle between them. Tommy moved his legs against Daniel's and pushed his groin up to rub against Daniel's c.o.c.k. Daniel gasped, pushing right back, and they both groaned at the sensations the movements caused.

Tommy's mind took a short break and had one of those "awake dreams" people talk about. He pictured them doing this morning after morning, year after year and it made his heart smile, if that was possible. He almost laughed again at the silly thought.

Sleeping nude was something he'd never taken for granted, but now it was one of the best things ever. Daniel's skin, supple and smooth, against his made him happy. Pretty much everything about Daniel Anderson made him happy. Tommy ran his hands over Daniel's back, his mouth still actively engaged in the pa.s.sionate kiss. Without pausing to think about it, he slid one hand down and cupped Daniel's a.s.s. His mind went off again wondering how he had never noticed what a nice rounded b.u.t.t his now-lover had. Squeezing, sliding, caressing, Tommy reveled in making Daniel shiver and moan. Continuing, because Daniel's obvious enjoyment filled Tommy with happiness, he moved his fingers into the crack between Daniel's cheeks.

"Tommy!" Daniel jerked back, looking down with such an expression of pa.s.sion and awe that Tommy couldn't help the smile as he pushed his finger against Daniel's hole, watching his face closely to make sure he wasn't doing something Daniel didn't like. From the look in his eyes and the groan he couldn't seem to keep in, Tommy figured it was safe to continue. Without lube, he wasn't going to venture much further, but he teased the puckered ring, gently probing in and around, loving the fact that Daniel's hips were pushing in toward his c.o.c.k and pulling back to get more from his fingers.

"Good?" he asked.

"G.o.d, you have to ask? Tommy, more, please. I need more of something." Daniel reached down between their bodies, taking both c.o.c.ks in his hand and began sliding up and down, jacking them both. Tommy helped by pushing his hips up rhythmically.

"You are so s.e.xy, so hot," Tommy said.

"Me? You started this. That feels so good. I'm going to come, baby. I can't...oh, Tommy!" Tommy held on tight as Daniel came hard, his body shaking in Tommy's arms. Daniel, still trying to catch his breath, kept his hand moving, now encircling Tommy's c.o.c.k, using his come to ease the way. Tommy began to shake, feeling the sensations increase to where he was soon coming in Daniel's hand, his eyes caught in Daniel's gaze. Daniel smiled down at him, the sweetness of it taking Tommy's breath almost as much as the o.r.g.a.s.m did.

Tommy wanted to hide his face in Daniel's neck, but wouldn't let himself. If he could make love to the man, he could look him in the eye afterward.

"Do you think maybe tonight we could take this all the way? I'm so ready, Daniel."

Daniel laughed and put his face in Tommy's neck, kissing him over and over. "Yeah, I think so, baby. We'll start in the shower. See, we already have a routine. It's good, Tommy. Can I bring some stuff over and begin staying here? We'll see how it goes. If we both love it, and I think we will, I'll bring all my meager belongings here and we'll be a family, you and me."

"Sounds like a little piece of heaven. Let's do the shower thing now, before we both go to work."

"Mmm, kiss first," Daniel suggested and Tommy wasted no time complying with the request.

Tommy sat in the great room with Niko, both of them with drinks on the coffee table in front of them. Niko was in the corner of the couch and Tommy was about halfway down the big piece of furniture. He wanted to be with him, but not crowd him. Soldier and Dillon were up with Gom and Tommy was working on getting Niko comfortable with his new situation. He would be working with him in the next few months, learning his story, helping him deal with his past and accept the changes in his life.

Sometimes, it was hard for children who'd been abused, hurt, neglected, etc. to believe that they were safe and didn't have to hide or look over their shoulders anymore. There would be not only food and clothes, but love and family. It was a lot to take in after the h.e.l.l some of these kids had gone through. Tommy should know. Things would go well for a while, but it would take some time before Niko really believed. Tommy knew that he'd have to watch for those times when Niko's past reared its head and caused the boy pain.

Just because he was safe now, didn't mean he'd be able to just forget what he'd been through. Those memories, the ones all the boys had been through in one way or another, caused as many different problems as there were boys.

"So, is everybody here queer?"

Tommy jerked at the blunt question and had to school his face to not show how the question affected him. Niko was naturally curious and it would take a while before he felt comfortable around all of them. Courtesy hadn't been a part of this kid's life to date.

Quietly Tommy answered, "Not at all. Soldier and Dillon are, as you know, and I am, too. As to the others, not that I know of. Does that bother you?"

"Nah, I don't care. What about the Gom dude that got beat up? They said last night that it was because he was gay, queer, whatever you call it." Niko pulled his legs up and crossed his arms around them, staring at Tommy.

"We call it being gay, not queer. Gom was beaten by mean hateful people. He's seventeen and doesn't know how he feels right now, but he's never shown in any way that he was gay. He may be. That would be his business. Here at Scarcity Sanctuary, they don't care who you love as long as you're a good person and follow the rules. I can tell you that I lived here from when I was twelve and none of the others, and there have been many, ever let on that they were gay. Two of my brothers, or guys who grew up with me here, are involved in great relationships with women. Some of the guys who've left in the past may have been gay, but we don't know of it. It's not really a big issue here." Tommy hoped that would be the end of that conversation.

"It's cool. Like I said, I don't care. So, I'm gonna stay here, huh? How long? What do I have to do?" Niko showed all the signs of expecting to be sent away or having something demanded of him.

"You can stay until you're out of school and working if you want. The only thing you have to do, and I'm sure Soldier and Dillon told you this, is follow the few rules of the household. Niko, I know it's hard to believe, but you're safe now. No one will hurt you, leave you, or expect anything of you that you don't want to do. The nightmare is over. In the coming months, you'll be working with me and we'll go through everything that happened to you. I'll help you deal with it, teach you how to put it away and make it part of your past. Every boy that has come here and either stayed or gone on to other things, has a past like yours; some worse, some better, but all have been through horrors that most kids never even know about." When he said this, Tommy saw the first bit of reaction from Niko. His eyes grew round and he shivered.

"Why do I have to talk about it? I don't want to talk about it," he whispered.

"You don't have to for a little while. I'll let you settle in here, get comfortable. This is a unique situation. Usually when a child comes here, they are the center of Soldier and Dillon's attention and they're given the royal treatment until they just become part of the family. I'm sorry that isn't happening with you. Right now my dads have been thrown off by what happened to Gom. All of us are freaked out by it." Tommy reached for his drink, taking a sip, and nodding toward Niko to see if he wanted his drink.

"It's okay. I don't need to be special." He gave a snort of derision and muttered, "I never have been." Niko reached for his drink and held it in both hands. "As long as n.o.body hits me, I'm fine."

"No one will hit you, I can guarantee that. I'll tell you something else. One of the things that Soldier did for me when I came here was teach me how to defend myself. He's taught us all that, but I needed it more than most at the time. Would you like to learn some of the things he taught me? It made me feel safe, like I could take care of myself, not that I needed to with them here for me, but it's a confidence thing. What do you think? Would you like that?" Tommy hoped to get Niko interested in some of the programs here and this was always a good bet.

"Yeah, maybe. What if people think just 'cause I live here now that I'm, uh, gay, too, and they do the same thing to me? And if he taught everybody that, how come that Gom guy didn't use it to protect himself?" Niko was quiet after the question.

"It shouldn't happen. Gom was attacked by several guys who came up behind him and surprised him. It's the first time it's ever happened and it had to do with a crazy woman and her false impressions of what went on here. You know how Mrs. Carol was." Tommy remembered interviewing Niko with her and how Niko had rolled his eyes behind her back.

"Yeah, she was a b.i.t.c.h."

"You know, I can't argue with you there, not even going to try. So, let's talk about some things you're interested in, things you'd like to do, and we'll get some things started as soon as Soldier and Dillon come back down here."

Dillon came in right then and said, "I heard my name. What's up? Hey, Niko. I'm sorry we've sort of ignored you since you got here. Please don't think it's because we don't think you're important or that we're not glad you're here. We fought to get you here with us. It's just a really hard time right now with Gom being hurt. We'll do better. If you're through with him, Tommy, maybe he could come in the kitchen with me and give me some ideas about his favorite foods. I say, tonight's supper is all about Niko and what he likes."

"Spaghetti," Niko answered without even thinking about it, evidently, because he looked surprised that he'd even spoken. Dillon was like that. He was so warm and loving that you just responded to him.

Before long, Tommy had left Niko in Dillon's capable hands and was on his way up to see Gom before going in to the office. He planned on telling Soldier that he had asked Daniel to move in with him if he got the chance, knowing that Soldier would then tell Dillon.

CHAPTER FIVE.

Tommy was pleased with Soldier's response to his plans with Daniel. Knowing he had Soldier and Dillon's respect and encouragement meant the world to him. He had gone in and talked with Gom, telling him about his plans too. Gom seemed interested and gave him a few ideas which surprised Tommy.

"Why didn't I think of that?" he asked, sitting on the side of Gom's bed. Gom was propped up now and breathing a little easier, though he was still multi-colored and sore.

"You probably would have, but it is a good idea, huh? I mean, you need to start putting a little romance in with the other stuff. Maybe some candles in the bathroom and bedroom, some nice music. It couldn't hurt. Maybe you could stop at his favorite restaurant and get take out for supper and surprise him. Make tonight really special. He's a good man, Tommy. I'm happy for you both." Gom smiled and patted Tommy's shoulder. Tommy leaned in and put his hand over Gom's.

"Thanks, Gom. We think you're pretty wonderful, too. I'm glad you're getting better. I know it's slow going, but you'll be up and about soon. If you need to talk, I'm here. You're going to be a little freaked for a while and I've learned ways to help you cope. Use me, okay? There is no one else in the world that I'd rather use my education to help than you. Think about it." Tommy hoped Gom would take him up on his offer. It was clear that the attack was really preying on his mind.

"I promise I will, but just not right now, okay?" Gom looked at him with such hesitancy and pain in his eyes that Tommy knew better than to push.

"Sure. When you're ready, but the sooner we deal with it, the better you'll heal. I love you, Gom. You know that. We all do."

"Yeah, I know. It helps, really. I just need a couple more days before I go through all of it again. Like I don't every time I go to sleep, anyway," Gom mumbled, turning his head a little.

"I understand. We'll get together. Now, I've got a little planning and shopping to do. Thanks for the ideas. I'm already thinking of things to do for Daniel. I can't believe I'm getting advice from my little brother, but you're right. We need some romance in our life. See you later, Gom." Tommy left Gom with a smile on his face, thinking of the things he would do to make tonight special for Daniel.

Tommy called Daniel and told him that he was taking care of supper for them that night and to see if he could be home by six. Instead of eating lunch, he went shopping for some big candles to sit around both the bedroom and bathroom. He even bought some flowers to put on the table with supper.

He hurried home after picking up the meal and had things prepared in the kitchen, ready to heat up when Daniel got there. He went in and set things up in the bedroom and bathroom, placing the candles strategically. He was having a good time thinking about the night ahead and wondering if Daniel would appreciate his efforts. He hoped so. All of this was totally out of his realm of thinking, but he felt right doing these things in an effort to show Daniel how special he was.

Tommy thought about taking a quick shower before Daniel got home, but decided he'd rather do that with Daniel. When he heard Daniel using the key that he'd given him that morning, Tommy's heart raced. He hurried over to meet Daniel as he came in.

"Hi, welcome home."

"Hey, that's nice. I've never had that happen, being greeted when I come home from work. I'm going to like this living together thing." Daniel smiled as he put a duffle bag by the door and an old briefcase down on the table in the small foyer. Tommy didn't give him a chance to say more. He walked right up to Daniel and opened his arms.

Daniel was clearly no fool. He stepped in and they shared a kiss that nearly had Tommy forgetting all his plans for the evening. Daniel's lips were moving on his, his tongue pushing into Tommy's mouth. Tommy met it and tightened his arms around Daniel. He put one hand on the back of Daniel's head, holding him still as the kiss escalated in pa.s.sion. Gasping from lack of breath, Daniel eased his head back just enough to say, in a hoa.r.s.e voice, "G.o.d, Tommy. Can I go out and come back in again?"

Tommy chuckled and put his face in Daniel's neck, placing a soft kiss right under his ear.

"I think you might want to just stay in now that you're here. I've got some plans for tonight. Why don't you wash up in the guest bathroom and come into the kitchen? I've got supper ready to go." Tommy let his hands trail down Daniel's arms, leaned in to give him another kiss and turned to the kitchen to finish things while Daniel did as he'd suggested.

"Wow, something smells wonderful. Is that, mmm, that's from Rankin's, isn't it? I didn't realize how hungry I was until I smelled that. This is so great. I don't expect this all the time, but what a treat. Thanks, hon." Daniel came up behind Tommy and dropped a kiss on the back of his neck. Tommy shivered and Daniel chuckled. "Did I find a sweet spot? Let's see." He leaned in and pressed his lips to the spot again, moving them softly and Tommy shuddered.

"If you want supper, you'd better quit that," Tommy said.

"Fine, but I promise to revisit it later. What can I do to help?" Daniel turned and saw the table set with flowers and candles. "Tommy, this is beautiful. I've never had anything like this before. No one has ever gone to any trouble for me. I can't tell you what it means."

"Good, have a seat and I'll dish this up. You can help me clean it up a little after we eat and then I have other plans for later," Tommy said, a smile blooming on his face that he just couldn't seem to stop.

"I like the sound of that." Daniel's smile wasn't the same, but it was beautiful to Tommy.

They ate and talked quietly about Gom, both his and Daniel's workday, and how wonderful the food tasted. Daniel asked about Niko and Tommy explained that he was going slowly and letting him get used to the house. He had both Niko and Gom to work with-different kinds of trauma, but both deserved his best efforts. He worked with the social services program, too, and had a small office there. Part of his workload included anyone placed at Scarcity Sanctuary, which worked out perfectly.

Tommy had ordered dessert, but they were both so full they decided it would have to be a treat for later. They made short work of cleaning up and Tommy took Daniel's hand and pulled him toward the bedroom. He didn't want to light the candles in the bedroom until they'd finished in the shower, so he suggested that Daniel take his clothes off and put them in the hamper in the corner. While Daniel did that, Tommy went into the bathroom and lit the candles he'd placed on the counter, the tall shelf and the back of the toilet. He switched off the light and turned when he heard the gasp from the doorway.