The Works of Robert G. Ingersoll Volume IV Part 33

If the Bible is true the Devil exists. There is no escape from this.

If the Devil does not exist the Bible is not true. There is no escape from this.

I admit that the Devil of the Bible is an impossible contradiction; an impossible being.

This Devil is the enemy of G.o.d and G.o.d is his. Now, why should this Devil, in another world, torment sinners, who are his friends, to please G.o.d, his enemy?

If the Devil is a personification, so is h.e.l.l and the lake of fire and brimstone. All these horrors fade into allegories; into ignorant lies.

Any clergyman who can read the Bible and then say that devils are personifications of evil is himself a personification of stupidity or hypocrisy.

VI.

Does any intelligent man now, whose brain has not been deformed by superst.i.tion, believe in the existence of the Devil? What evidence have we that he exists? Where does this Devil live? What does he do for a livelihood? What does he eat? If he does not eat, he cannot think. He cannot think without the expenditure of force. He cannot create force; he must borrow it--that is to say, he must eat. How does lie move from place to place? Does he walk or does he fly, or has he invented some machine? What object has he in life? What idea of success? This Devil, according to the Bible, knows that he is to be defeated; knows that the end is absolute and eternal failure; knows that every step he takes leads to the infinite catastrophe. Why does he act as he does?

Our fathers thought that everything in this world came from some other realm; that all ideas of right and wrong came from above; that conscience dropped from the clouds; that the darkness was filled with imps from perdition, and the day with angels from heaven; that souls had been breathed into man by Jehovah.

What there is in this world that lives and breathes was produced here.

Life was not imported. Mind is not an exotic. Of this planet man is a native. This world is his mother. The maker did not descend from the heavens. The maker was and is here. Matter and force in their countless forms, affinities and repulsions produced the living, breathing world.

How can we account for devils? Is it possible that they creep into the bodies of men and swine? Do they stay in the stomach or brain, in the heart or liver?

Are these devils immortal or do they multiply and die? Were they all created at the same time or did they spring from a single pair? If they are subject to death what becomes of them after death? Do they go to some other world, are they annihilated, or can they get to heaven by believing on Christ?

In the brain of science the devils have never lived. There you will find no goblins, ghosts, wraiths or imps--no witches, spooks or sorcerers.

There the supernatural does not exist. No man of sense in the whole world believes in devils any more than he does in mermaids, vampires, gorgons, hydras, naiads, dryads, nymphs, fairies or the anthropophagi--any more than he does in the Fountain of Youth, the Philosopher's Stone, Perpetual Motion or Fiat Money.

There is the same difference between religion and science that there is between a madhouse and a university--between a fortune teller and a mathematician--between emotion and philosophy--between guess and demonstration.

The devils have gone, and with them they have taken the miracles of Christ. They have carried away our Lord. They have taken away the inspiration of the Bible, and we are left in the darkness of nature without the consolation of h.e.l.l.

But let me ask the clergy a few questions:

How did your Devil, who was at one time an angel of light, come to sin? There was no other devil to tempt him. He was in perfectly good society--in the company of G.o.d--of the Trinity. All of his a.s.sociates were perfect. How did he fall? He knew that G.o.d was infinite, and yet he waged war against him and induced about a third of the angels to volunteer. He knew that he could not succeed; knew that he would be defeated and cast out; knew that he was fighting for failure.

Why was G.o.d so unpopular? Why were the angels so bad?

According to the Christians, these angels were spirits. They had never been corrupted by flesh--by the pa.s.sion of love. Why were they so wicked?

Why did G.o.d create those angels, knowing that they would rebel? Why did he deliberately sow the seeds of discord in heaven, knowing that he would cast them into the lake of eternal fire--knowing that for them he would create the eternal prison, whose dungeons would echo forever the sobs and shrieks of endless pain?

How foolish is infinite wisdom!

How malicious is mercy!

How revengeful is boundless love!

Again, I say that no sensible man in all the world believes in devils.

Why does G.o.d allow these devils to enjoy themselves at the expense of his ignorant children? Why does he allow them to leave their prison?

Does he give them furloughs or tickets-of-leave?

Does he want his children misled and corrupted so that he can have the pleasure of d.a.m.ning their souls?

VII. THE MAN OF STRAW.

Some of the preachers who have answered me say that I am fighting a man of straw.

I am fighting the supernatural--the dogma of inspiration--the belief in devils--the atonement, salvation by faith--the forgiveness of sins and the savagery of eternal pain. I am fighting the absurd,-the monstrous, the cruel.

The ministers pretend that they have advanced--that they do not believe the things that I attack. In this they are not honest.

Who is the "man of straw"?

The man of straw is their master. In every orthodox pulpit stands this man of straw--stands beside the preacher--stands with a club, called a "creed," in his upraised hand. The shadow of this club falls athwart the open Bible--falls upon the preacher's brain, darkens the light of his reason and compels him to betray himself.

The man of straw rules every sectarian school and college--every orthodox church. He is the censor who pa.s.ses on every sermon. Now and then some minister puts a little sense in his discourse--tries to take a forward step. Down comes the club, and the man of straw demands an explanation--a retraction. If the minister takes it back--good. If he does not, he is brought to book. The man of straw put the plaster of silence on the lips of Prof. Briggs, and he was forced to leave the church or remain dumb.

The man of straw closed the mouth of Prof. Smith, and he has not opened it since.

The man of straw would not allow the Presbyterian creed to be changed.

The man of straw took Father McGlynn by the collar, forced him to his knees, made him take back his words and ask forgiveness for having been abused.

The man of straw pitched Prof. Swing out of the pulpit and drove the Rev. Mr. Thomas from the Methodist Church.

Let me tell the orthodox ministers that they are trying to cover their retreat.

You have given up the geology and astronomy of the Bible. You have admitted that its history is untrue. You are retreating still. You are giving up the dogma of inspiration; you have your doubts about the flood and Babel; you have given up the witches and wizards; you are beginning to throw away the miraculous; you have killed the little devils, and in a little while you will murder the Devil himself.

In a few years you will take the Bible for what it is worth. The good and true will be treasured in the heart; the foolish, the infamous, will be thrown away.

The man of straw will then be dead.

Of course, the real old petrified, orthodox Christian will cling to the Devil. He expects to have all of his sins charged to the Devil, and at the same time he will be credited with all the virtues of Christ. Upon this showing on the books, upon this balance, he will be ent.i.tled to his halo and harp. What a glorious, what an equitable, transaction! The sorcerer Superst.i.tion changes debt to credit. He waves his wand, and he who deserves the tortures of h.e.l.l receives an eternal reward.

But if a man lacks faith the scheme is exactly reversed. While in one case a soul is rewarded for the virtues of another, in the other case a soul is d.a.m.ned for the sins of another. This is justice when it blossoms in mercy.

Beyond this idiocy cannot go.

VIII. KEEP THE DEVILS OUT OF CHILDREN.

William Kingdon Clifford, one of the greatest men of this century, said: "If there is one lesson that history forces upon us in every page, it is this: Keep your children away from the priest, or he will make them the enemies of mankind."

In every orthodox Sunday school children are taught to believe in devils. Every little brain becomes a menagerie, filled with wild beasts from h.e.l.l. The imagination is polluted with the deformed, the monstrous and malicious. To fill the minds of children with leering fiends--with mocking devils--is one of the meanest and basest of crimes. In these pious prisons--these divine dungeons--these Protestant and Catholic inquisitions--children are tortured with these cruel lies. Here they are taught that to really think is wicked; that to express your honest thought is blasphemy; and that to live a free and joyous life, depending on fact instead of faith, is the sin against the Holy Ghost.