The Peace Egg and Other tales Part 7

[_Enter_ KING OF EGYPT.]

KING. I am the King of Egypt, as plainly doth appear; I am come to seek my son, my only son and heir.

ST. PATRICK. He's slain! That's the worst of it.

KING. Who did him slay, who did him kill, And on the ground his precious blood did spill?

ST. PATRICK. I did him slay, I did him kill, And on the ground his precious blood did spill.

Please you, my liege, my honour to maintain, As I have done, so would I do again.

KING. Cursed Christian! What is this thou hast done?

Thou hast ruined me, slaying my only son.

ST. PATRICK. He gave me the challenge. Why should I him deny?

How low he lies who held himself so high!

KING. Oh! Hector! Hector! help me with speed, For in my life I ne'er stood more in need.

[_Enter_ HECTOR.]

KING. Stand not there, Hector, with sword in hand, But fight and kill at my command.

HECTOR. Yes, yes, my liege, I will obey, And by my sword I hope to win the day.

If that be he who doth stand there That slew my master's son and heir, Though he be sprung from royal blood I'll make it run like ocean flood.

[_They fight._ HECTOR _is wounded._]

I am a valiant hero, and Hector is my name, Many b.l.o.o.d.y battles have I fought, and always won the same, But from St. Patrick I received this deadly wound.

[_Trumpet sounds for_ ST. ANDREW.]

Hark, hark, I hear the silver trumpet sound, It summons me from off this b.l.o.o.d.y ground.

Down yonder is the way (_pointing_); Farewell, farewell, I can no longer stay.

[_Exit_ HECTOR.]

[_Enter_ ST. ANDREW.]

KING. Is there never a doctor to be found Can cure my son of his deep and deadly wound?

[_Enter_ DOCTOR.]

DOCTOR. Yes, yes, there is a doctor to be found Can cure your son of his deep and deadly wound.

KING. What's your fee?

DOCTOR. Five pounds and a yule cake to thee.

I have a little bottle of Elacampane, It goes by the name of virtue and fame, That will make this worthy champion to rise and fight again.

[_To_ PRINCE.] Here, sir, take a little of my flip-flop,

Pour it on thy tip-top.

[_To audience, bowing._]

Ladies and Gentlemen can have my advice gratis.

[_Exeunt_ KING OF EGYPT, PRINCE OF PARADINE, _and_ DOCTOR.]

[ST. ANDREW _stands forth._]

ST. ANDREW. I am St. Andrew from the North, Men from that part are men of worth; To travel south we're nothing loth, And treat you fairly, by my troth.

Here comes a man looks ready for a fray.

Come in, come in, bold soldier, and bravely clear the way.

[_Enter_ SLASHER.]

SLASHER. I am a valiant soldier, and Slasher is my name, With sword and buckler by my side, I hope to win more fame; And for to fight with me I see thou art not able, So with my trusty broadsword I soon will thee disable.

ST. ANDREW. Disable, disable? It lies not in thy power, For with a broader sword than thine I soon will thee devour.

Stand off, Slasher, let no more be said, For if I draw my broadsword, I'm sure to break thy head.

SLASHER. How canst thou break my head?

Since my head is made of iron; My body made of steel; My hands and feet of knuckle-bone.

I challenge thee to feel.

[_They fight, and_ SLASHER _is wounded._]

[FOOL _advances to_ SLASHER.]

FOOL. Alas, alas, my chiefest son is slain!

What must I do to raise him up again?

Here he lies before you all, I'll presently for a doctor call.

A doctor! A doctor! I'll go and fetch a doctor.

DOCTOR. Here am I.

FOOL. Are you the doctor?

DOCTOR. That thou may plainly see, by my art and activity.

FOOL. What's your fee to cure this poor man?

DOCTOR. Five pounds is my fee; but, Jack, as thou art a fool, I'll only take ten from thee.

FOOL. You'll be a clever doctor if you get any.

[_Aside._]