The Palm Tree Blessing Part 10

"The presence of G.o.d is what I want. I live in the most lonely, melancholy desert, about eighteen miles from Albany; for it was not thought best that I should go to Delaware river. I board with a poor Scotchman. His wife can talk scarce any English. My diet consists mostly of hasty pudding, boiled corn, and bread baked in the ashes, and sometimes a little meat and b.u.t.ter. My lodging is a little heap of straw, laid upon some boards a little way from the ground; for it is a log room, without any floor, that I lodge in. My work is exceedingly hard and difficult. I travel on foot a mile and a half, the worst of ways, almost daily, and back again; for I live so far from my Indians. I have not seen an English person in this month. These, and many other circ.u.mstances, equally uncomfortable, attend me. The Lord grant that I may learn to 'endure hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.'

"August 15, 1743.

"Spent most of the day in labor to procure something to keep my horse on in the winter. Enjoyed not much sweetness in the morning; was very weak in body through the day, and thought that this frail body would soon drop into the dust, and had some very realizing apprehensions of a speedy entrance into another world. In this weak state of body, I was not a little distressed for want of suitable food. I had no bread, nor could I get any. I am forced to go or send ten or fifteen miles for all the bread I eat; and sometimes it is moldy and sour before I eat it, if I get any considerable quant.i.ty. And then again I have none for some days together, for want of an opportunity to send for it, and can not find my horse in the woods to go myself; and this was my case today.

But through divine goodness I had some Indian meal, of which I made little cakes, and fried them. Yet I felt contented with my circ.u.mstances, and sweetly resigned to G.o.d. In prayer I enjoyed great freedom, and blessed G.o.d as much for my present circ.u.mstances, as if I had been a king; and thought that I found a disposition to be contented in any circ.u.mstances. Blessed be G.o.d!

"January 23, 1744.

"I think I never felt more resigned to G.o.d, nor so dead to the world, in every respect, as now. Am dead to all desire of reputation and greatness, either in life or after death. All I long for is to be holy, humble, and crucified to the world.

"March 2, 1744.

"Was most of the day employed in writing on a divine subject. Was frequent in prayer and enjoyed some small degree of a.s.sistance. But in the evening G.o.d was pleased to grant me divine sweetness in prayer especially in the duty of intercession. I think I never felt so much kindness and love to those who, I have reason to think, are my enemies--though at that time I found such a disposition to think the best of all, that I scarce knew how to think that any such thing as enmity and hatred lodged in any soul. It seemed that all the world must needs be friends. I never prayed with more freedom and delight for myself, or dearest friend, than I did now for my enemies.

"March 3, 1744.

"In the morning, spent (I believe) an hour in prayer, with great intenseness and freedom, and with the most soft and tender affection toward mankind. I longed that those who, I have reason to think, bear me ill will, might be eternally happy. It seemed refreshing to think of meeting them in heaven, how much soever they had injured me on earth. I had no disposition to insist upon any confession from them, in order to reconciliation and the exercise of love and kindness to them. Oh, it is an emblem of heaven itself, to love all the world with a love of kindness, forgiveness, and benevolence; to feel our souls sedate, mild and meek, to be void of all evil surmisings and suspicions, and scarce able to think evil of any man upon any occasion; to find our hearts simple, open, and free, to those that look upon me with a different eye!

Prayer was so sweet an exercise to me, that I knew not how to cease, lest I should lose the spirit of prayer. Felt no disposition to eat or drink, for the sake of the pleasure of it, but only to support my body, and fit me for divine service. Could not be content without a very particular mention of a great number of dear friends at the throne of grace; as also the particular circ.u.mstances of many, so far as they were known.

"July 24, 1744.

"Rode about seventeen miles westward, over a hideous mountain, to a number of Indians. Got together near thirty of them; preached to them in the evening and lodged among them. Was weak, and felt in some degree disconsolate; yet could have no freedom in the thought of any other circ.u.mstances or other business in life. All my desire was the conversion of the heathen; and all hope was in G.o.d. G.o.d does not suffer me to please or comfort myself with hopes of seeing friends, returning to dear acquaintances, and enjoying worldly comforts.

"November 22, 1744.

"Came on my way from Rockciticus to the Delaware. Was very much disordered with a cold and pain in my head. About six at night, I lost my way in the wilderness, and wandered over rocks and mountains, down hideous steeps, through swamps, and most dreadful and dangerous places, and, the night being dark, so that few stars could be seen, I was greatly exposed. I was much pinched with cold, and distressed with an extreme pain in my head, attended with sickness at my stomach; so that every step I took was distressing to me. I had little hope for several hours together, but that I must lie out in the woods all night, in this distressed case. But about nine o'clock, I found a house, through the abundant goodness of G.o.d, and was kindly entertained. Thus I have frequently been exposed, and sometimes lain out the whole night; but G.o.d has. .h.i.therto preserved me, and blessed be His name. Such fatigues and hardships as these serve to wean me from the earth; and, I trust, will make heaven the sweeter. Formerly, when I was thus exposed to cold and rain, I was ready to please myself with the thoughts of enjoying a comfortable house, a warm fire, and other outward comforts; but now these have less place in my heart, (through the grace of G.o.d), and my eye is more to G.o.d for comfort. In this world I expect tribulation; and it does not now, as formerly, appear strange to me. I do not in such seasons of difficulty flatter myself that it will be better hereafter; but rather think how much worse it might be; how much greater trials others of G.o.d's children have endured, and how much greater are yet, perhaps, reserved for me.

"October 5, 1746.

"After sermon, baptized two persons. Administered the Lord's Supper to the Indians, besides divers dear Christians of the white people. It seemed to be a season of divine power and grace; and numbers seemed to rejoice in G.o.d. Oh, the sweet union and harmony then appearing among the religious people! My soul was refreshed, and my religious friends of the white people, with me. After the sacrament, could scarcely get home, though it was not more than twenty rods; but was supported and led by my friends, and laid on my bed; where I lay in pain till some time in the evening; and then was able to sit up and discourse with friends. Oh, how was this day spent in prayers and praises among my dear people! One might hear them, all the morning before public worship, and in the evening, till near midnight, praying and singing praises to G.o.d, in one or other of their houses. My soul was refreshed, though my body was weak."

Just before his death he wrote a letter to his brother Israel, who was then in college. A part of this letter we give as follows:

"It is on the verge of eternity I now address you. I am heartily sorry that I have so little strength to write what I long so much to communicate to you. But, let me tell you, my brother, eternity is another thing than we ordinarily take it to be when in a healthful state. Oh, how fixed and unalterable! Oh, of what infinite importance it is, that we be prepared for eternity! I have been just a dying, now for more than a week; and all around me have thought me so. I have had clear views of eternity, have seen the blessedness of the G.o.dly, in some measure, and have longed to share their happy state, as well as been comfortably satisfied, that through grace I shall do so; but oh, what anguish is raised in my mind, to think of eternity for those who are Christless, for those who are mistaken, and who bring their false hopes to the grave with them! The sight was so dreadful, I could by no means bear it. My thoughts recoiled, and I said, under a more affecting sense than ever before, 'Who can dwell with everlasting burnings!' Oh, methought, could I now see my friends, that I may warn them to see it, that they lay their foundation for eternity sure. * * * If you have reason to think you are graceless, O give yourself and the throne of grace no rest, till G.o.d arise and save! But if the case should be otherwise, bless G.o.d for His grace, and press after holiness.

"My soul longs, that you should be fitted for, and in due time go into the work of the ministry. I can not bear to think of your going into any other business in life. Do not be discouraged, because you see your elder brothers in the ministry die early, one after another. I declare, now I am dying, I would not have spent my life otherwise for the whole world.

"Oh, my dear brother, flee fleshly l.u.s.ts, and the enchanting amus.e.m.e.nts as well as the corrupt doctrines of the present day, and strive to live to G.o.d. Take this as the last line from your affectionate and dying brother."

About a year and six months before this faithful, self-sacrificing servant of G.o.d pa.s.sed to his reward, he wrote in his diary something which most beautifully sets forth the thought we are trying to bring out in the ill.u.s.tration of the living sacrifice life of the missionary.

Under date of May 22, 1746, he wrote:

"If ever my soul presented itself to G.o.d for His service, without any reserve of any kind, it did so now. The language of my thoughts and disposition now was, 'Here I am, Lord, send me. Send me to the ends of the earth. Send me to the rough, savage pagans of the wilderness. Send me from all that is called comfort in earth, or earthly comfort. Send me even to death itself, if it be but in Thy service, and to promote Thy kingdom.' At the same time I had as quick and lively a sense of the value of worldly comforts as I ever had; but only saw them infinitely overmatched by the worth of Christ's kingdom, and the propagation of His blessed gospel. A quiet settlement, a certain place of abode, the tender friendships of life, appeared as valuable to me, considered absolutely and in themselves, as ever before; but considered comparatively, they appeared nothing. Compared with the value and preciousness of an enlargement of Christ's kingdom, they vanished as stars before a rising sun. Sure I am that though the comfortable accommodations of life appeared valuable and clear to me, yet I did surrender and resign myself, soul and body, to the service of G.o.d, and to the promotion of Christ's kingdom, though it should be in the loss of them all. I could not do any other, because I could not will or choose any other. I was constrained, and yet chose, to say, 'Farewell, friends and earthly comforts, the dearest of them all, the very dearest, if the Lord calls for it. Adieu, adieu; I will spend my life to my latest moments, in the caves and dens of the earth, if the kingdom of Christ may thereby be advanced.'

"I felt extraordinary freedom at this time in pouring out my soul to G.o.d for His cause, especially that His kingdom might be extended among the Indians, far remote; and I had a great and strong hope that G.o.d would do it. I continued wrestling with G.o.d in prayer for my dear little flock here, and more especially for the Indians elsewhere, as well as for dear friends in one place and another until it was bedtime, and I feared I should hinder the family. But oh, with what reluctancy did I feel myself obliged to consume time in sleep! I longed to be a flame of fire, continually glowing in the divine service, and building up Christ's kingdom, to my latest, my dying moment."

And G.o.d granted him his desire to his dying moment. David Brainerd was truly a living sacrifice as a missionary to the pagan Indians, and won many of them to Christ, where he is rejoicing with them in glory today.

IV. DIFFERENCE IN SIZE AND FORM

Here we find some very noted peculiarities. There are so many shapes and sizes in the various departments of the palm tree world that one is lost in wonder. Here is one gigantic tree two hundred feet high, while another is only a few feet in height and both real palms. Some leaves attain the enormous proportions of thirty-five feet in length by five or six feet in breadth, while on other varieties the leaves are only a few inches in length. Some palms have no flowers at all, while another known as the Talipot palm throws up a branching inflorescence to a height of thirty feet above the foliage, and it has been estimated that such an inflorescence has included as many as sixty millions of flowers.

When we see such differences in size and propensities, we are reminded of the vast differences in the Christian world. Some saints loom up indeed like the giants of the forest, while others are more like house plants. Some are so full of stupendous works for G.o.d's kingdom, and are accomplishing such herculean tasks, while others seem to be more adapted for the mantelpiece, or things to look at. We find the same differences obtaining on other lines. In the physical world is a Samson who can carry off the gates of Gaza, while here is another who can scarcely carry himself. In the intellectual world there are men who can walk through the heavens as we would stroll through a town; they weigh the planets in their scales, and tell the composition of stars and their distances; while others are still wondering if this world is not flat.

In the financial realm we find a man who can lug whole railroad systems, or trans-Atlantic steamers on his shoulders, or thousands of tanks of Standard oil. On the other hand we see some who would starve to death if they were left to themselves. We know of one man who had been trying for years to save up enough money on which to get divorced. We would not be too hard on those, who, in the spiritual realm, are not able to walk off with mountains on their shoulders; they may not be endowed with any special gifts, and yet they may be the Lord's weak children.

We would not sit in judgment on any of G.o.d's children. Christ came to save all who will put their trust in Him, and if one is naturally endowed with great and peculiar talents, so much the more responsibility rests upon him; but if one does not possess the extraordinary, he may be a trustful follower of the Lamb after all. And yet we have known of some who certainly did not seem possessed with anything above the ordinary, yet because of their fidelity to Christ and their abandonment to the Holy Ghost, were really blessed in usefulness beyond the ordinary. There is no telling what the Lord will do with the weak ones if they will only let Him put over against them His strength. So, as in the palm tree realm, there is such a variety in size and form, so in the Christian world we have the babe and the man, the weak and the strong, the tiny, trusting heart who is scarcely known around the corner, and the giant of G.o.d who wields his influence throughout the nation. So, whether we are little or big, weak or strong, if we have the a.s.surance that we belong to G.o.d's kingdom, let us look up and rejoice evermore. We may be tempted to discouragement when we see the stupendous accomplishments of some of the palm tree saints, but we must remember that G.o.d requires from us only that which we are able to perform. So while we may not do what some others do, yet we can all, without an exception, measure up in our individual sphere and prove that the Word of G.o.d is true, that "The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree."

Reader, in closing this little message to you, let me entreat you, by the aid of the Holy Spirit, to introspect your heart and life and see if you possess a spiritual life which would warrant you in believing that you are flourishing like the palm tree. Amen!