The Life and Letters of Lewis Carroll Part 34

The verses to "Matilda Jane" certainly deserve a place in this chapter. To make their meaning clear, I must state that Lewis Carroll wrote them for a little cousin of his, and that Matilda Jane was the somewhat prosaic name of her doll. The poem expresses finely the blind, unreasoning devotion which the infant mind professes for inanimate objects:--

Matilda Jane, you never look At any toy or picture-book; I show you pretty things in vain, You must be blind, Matilda Jane!

I ask you riddles, tell you tales, But all our conversation fails; You never answer me again, I fear you're dumb, Matilda Jane!

Matilda, darling, when I call You never seem to hear at all; I shout with all my might and main, But you're _so_ deaf, Matilda Jane!

Matilda Jane, you needn't mind, For though you're deaf, and dumb, and blind, There's some one loves you, it is plain, And that is _me_, Matilda Jane!

In an earlier chapter I gave some of Mr. Dodgson's letters to Miss Edith Rix; the two which follow, being largely about children, seem more appropriate here:--

My dear Edith,--Would you tell your mother I was aghast at seeing the address of her letter to me: and I would much prefer "Rev. C.L. Dodgson, Ch. Ch., Oxford." When a letter comes addressed "Lewis Carroll, Ch. Ch.," it either goes to the Dead Letter Office, or it impresses on the minds of all letter-carriers, &c., through whose hands it goes, the very fact I least want them to know.

Please offer to your sister all the necessary apologies for the liberty I have taken with her name. My only excuse is, that I know no other; and how _am_ I to guess what the full name is? It _may_ be Carlotta, or Zealot, or Ballot, or Lotus-blossom (a very pretty name), or even Charlotte. Never have I sent anything to a young lady of whom I have a more shadowy idea. Name, an enigma; age, somewhere between 1 and 19 (you've no idea how bewildering it is, alternately picturing her as a little toddling thing of 5, and a tall girl of 15!); disposition--well, I _have_ a fragment of information on _that_ question--your mother says, as to my coming, "It must be when Lottie is at home, or she would never forgive us."

Still, I _cannot_ consider the mere fact that she is of an unforgiving disposition as a complete view of her character. I feel sure she has some other qualities besides.

Believe me,

Yrs affectionately,

C.L. Dodgson.

My dear child,--It seems quite within the bounds of possibility, if we go on long in this style, that our correspondence may at last a.s.sume a really friendly tone. I don't of course say it will actually do so--that would be too bold a prophecy, but only that it may tend to shape itself in that direction.

Your remark, that slippers for elephants _could_ be made, only they would not be slippers, but boots, convinces me that there is a branch of your family in _Ireland_.

Who are (oh dear, oh dear, I am going distracted! There's a lady in the opposite house who simply sings _all_ day.

All her songs are wails, and their tunes, such as they have, are much the same. She has one strong note in her voice, and she knows it! I _think_ it's "A natural," but I haven't much ear. And when she gets to that note, she howls!) they?

The O'Rixes, I suppose?

About your uninteresting neighbours, I sympathise with you much; but oh, I wish I had you here, that I might teach you _not_ to say "It is difficult to visit one's district regularly, like every one else does!"

And now I come to the most interesting part of your letter-- May you treat me as a perfect friend, and write anything you like to me, and ask my advice? Why, _of course_ you may, my child! What else am I good for? But oh, my dear child-friend, you cannot guess how such words sound to _me_! That any one should look up to _me_, or think of asking _my_ advice--well, it makes one feel humble, I think, rather than proud--humble to remember, while others think so well of me, what I really _am_, in myself. "Thou, that teachest another, teachest thou not thyself?" Well, I won't talk about myself, it is not a healthy topic. Perhaps it may be true of _any_ two people, that, if one could see the other through and through, love would perish. I don't know. Anyhow, I like to _have_ the love of my child-friends, tho' I know I don't deserve it. Please write as freely as _ever_ you like.

I went up to town and fetched Phoebe down here on Friday in last week; and we spent _most_ of Sat.u.r.day upon the beach--Phoebe wading and digging, and "as happy as a bird upon the wing" (to quote the song she sang when first I saw her). Tuesday evening brought a telegram to say she was wanted at the theatre next morning. So, instead of going to bed, Phoebe packed her things, and we left by the last train, reaching her home by a quarter to 1 a.m. However, even four days of sea-air, and a new kind of happiness, did her good, I think. I am rather lonely now she is gone. She is a very sweet child, and a thoughtful child, too. It was very touching to see (we had a little Bible-reading every day: I tried to remember that my little friend had a soul to be cared for, as well as a body) the far-away look in her eyes, when we talked of G.o.d and of heaven--as if her angel, who beholds His face continually, were whispering to her.

Of course, there isn't _much_ companionship possible, after all, between an old man's mind and a little child's, but what there is is sweet--and wholesome, I think.

Three letters of his to a child-friend, Miss Kathleen Eschwege, now Mrs. Round, ill.u.s.trate one of those friendships which endure: the sort of friendship that he always longed for, and so often failed to secure:--

[Ill.u.s.trations and: Facsimile of a "Looking-Gla.s.s Letter" from Lewis Carroll to Miss Edith Ball.]

Ch. Ch., Oxford, _October_ 24, 1879.

My dear Kathleen,--I was really pleased to get your letter, as I had quite supposed I should never see or hear of you again. You see I knew only your Christian name--not the ghost of a surname, or the shadow of an address--and I was not prepared to spend my little all in advertis.e.m.e.nts--"If the young lady, who was travelling on the G.W. Railway, &c."

--or to devote the remainder of my life to going about repeating "Kathleen," like that young woman who came from some foreign land to look for her lover, but only knew that he was called "Edward" (or "Richard" was it? I dare say you know History better than I do) and that he lived in England; so that naturally it took her some time to find him. All I knew was that _you_ could, if you chose, write to me through Macmillan: but it is three months since we met, so I was _not_ expecting it, and it was a pleasant surprise.

Well, so I hope I may now count you as one of my child-friends. I am fond of children (except boys), and have more child-friends than I could possibly count on my fingers, even if I were a centipede (by the way, _have_ they fingers? I'm afraid they're only feet, but, of course, they use them for the same purpose, and that is why no other insects, _except centipedes_, ever succeed in doing _Long Multiplication_), and I have several not so very far from you--one at Beckenham, two at Balham, two at Herne Hill, one at Peckham--so there is every chance of my being somewhere near you _before the year_ 1979. If so, may I call? I am _very_ sorry your neck is no better, and I wish they would take you to Margate: Margate air will make _any_ body well of _any_ thing.

It seems you have already got my two books about "Alice."

Have you also got "The Hunting of the Snark"? If not, I should be very glad to send you one. The pictures (by Mr.

Holiday) are pretty: and you needn't read the verses unless you like.

How do you p.r.o.nounce your surname? "esk-weej"? or how? Is it a German name?

If you can do "Doublets," with how many links do you turn KATH into LEEN?

With kind remembrances to your mother, I am

Your affectionate friend,

Charles L. Dodgson

(_alias_ "Lewis Carroll").

Ch. Ch., Oxford, _January_ 20, 1892.

My dear Kathleen,--Some months ago I heard, from my cousin, May Wilc.o.x, that you were engaged to be married. And, ever since, I have cherished the intention of writing to offer my congratulations. Some might say, "Why not write _at once?"_ To such unreasoning creatures, the obvious reply is, "When you have bottled some peculiarly fine Port, do you usually begin to drink it _at once?"_ Is not that a beautiful simile? Of course, I need not remark that my congratulations are like fine old Port--only finer, and _older!_

Accept, my dear old friend, my _heartiest_ wishes for happiness, of all sorts and sizes, for yourself, and for him whom you have chosen as your other self. And may you love one another with a love second only to your love for G.o.d--a love that will last through bright days and dark days, in sickness and in health, through life and through death.

A few years ago I went, in the course of about three months, to the weddings of three of my old child-friends. But weddings are not very exhilarating scenes for a miserable old bachelor; and I think you'll have to excuse me from attending _yours_.

However, I have so far concerned myself in it that I actually _dreamed_ about it a few nights ago! I dreamed that you had had a photograph done of the wedding-party, and had sent me a copy of it. At one side stood a group of ladies, among whom I made out the faces of Dolly and Ninty; and in the foreground, seated in a boat, were two people, a gentleman and a lady I _think_ (could they have been the bridegroom and the bride?) engaged in the natural and usual occupation for a riverside picnic--pulling a Christmas cracker! I have no idea what put such an idea into my head.

_I_ never saw crackers used in such a scene!

I hope your mother goes on well. With kindest regards to her and your father, and love to your sisters--and to yourself too, if HE doesn't object!--I am,

Yours affectionately,

C.L. Dodgson.

P.S.--I never give wedding-presents; so please regard the enclosed as an _unwedding_ present.

Ch. Ch., Oxford, _December_ 8, 1897.

My dear Kathleen,--Many thanks for the photo of yourself and your _fiance_, which duly reached me January 23, 1892.

Also for a wedding-card, which reached me August 28, 1892.

Neither of these favours, I fear, was ever acknowledged. Our only communication since, has been, that on December 13, 1892, I sent you a biscuit-box adorned with "Looking-Gla.s.s"

pictures. This _you_ never acknowledged; so I was properly served for my negligence. I hope your little daughter, of whose arrival Mrs. Eschwege told me in December, 1893, has been behaving well? How quickly the years slip by! It seems only yesterday that I met, on the railway, a little girl who was taking a sketch of Oxford!

Your affectionate old friend,

C.L. Dodgson.

The following verses were inscribed in a copy of "Alice's Adventures,"