The Home Book of Verse Volume Iv Part 39

Anne Reeve Aldrich [1866-1892]

TOO CANDID BY HALF

As Tom and his wife were discoursing one day Of their several faults in a bantering way, Said she, "Though my wit you disparage, I'm sure, my dear husband, our friends will attest This much, at the least, that my judgment is best."

Quoth Tom, "So they said at our marriage."

John G.o.dfrey Saxe [1816-1887]

FABLE

The mountain and the squirrel Had a quarrel, And the former called the latter "Little Prig;"

Bun replied, "You are doubtless very big; But all sorts of things and weather Must be taken in together, To make up a year And a sphere.

And I think it no disgrace To occupy my place.

If I'm not so large as you, You are not so small as I, And not half so spry.

I'll not deny you make A very pretty squirrel track; Talents differ; all is well and wisely put; If I cannot carry forests on thy back, Neither can you crack a nut.

Ralph Waldo Emerson [1803-1882]

WOMAN'S WILL

That man's a fool who tries by art and skill To stem the torrent of a woman's will: For if she will, she will; you may depend on't-- And if she won't, she won't--and there's an end on't.

Unknown

WOMAN'S WILL

Men, dying, make their wills, but wives Escape a task so sad; Why should they make what all their lives The gentle dames have had?

John G.o.dfrey Saxe [1816-1887]

PLAYS

Alas, how soon the hours are over Counted us out to play the lover!

And how much narrower is the stage Allotted us to play the sage!

But when we play the fool, how wide The theatre expands! beside, How long the audience sits before us!

How many prompters! what a chorus!

Walter Savage Landor [1775-1864]

THE REMEDY WORSE THAN THE DISEASE

I sent for Ratcliffe; was so ill, That other doctors gave me over: He felt my pulse, prescribed his pill, And I was likely to recover.

But, when the wit began to wheeze, And wine had warmed the politician, Cured yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my physician.

Matthew Prior [1664-1721]

THE NET OF LAW

The net of law is spread so wide, No sinner from its sweep may hide.

Its meshes are so fine and strong, They take in every child of wrong.

O wondrous web of mystery!

Big fish alone escape from thee!

James Jeffrey Roche [1847-1908]

COLOGNE

In Koln, a town of monks and bones, And pavements fanged with murderous stones, And rags, and hags, and hideous wenches; I counted two and seventy stenches, All well defined, and several stinks!

Ye Nymphs that reign o'er sewers and sinks, The river Rhine, it is well known, Doth wash your city of Cologne; But tell me, Nymphs! what power divine Shall henceforth wash the river Rhine?

Samuel Taylor Coleridge [1772-1834]

EPITAPH ON CHARLES II

Here lies our Sovereign Lord the King, Whose word no man relies on, Who never said a foolish thing, Nor ever did a wise one.