The Ghost Breaker: A Melodramatic Farce in Four Acts Part 4

RUSTY. The Cunard.

JARVIS. Now be off, and don't miss that boat. (PRINCESS _opens door._)

RUSTY. (_Exiting_) No, sir, I won't miss it.

PRINCESS. (_As_ RUSTY _reaches door_) Good-bye, Rusty.

RUSTY. (_Turning_) Good-bye, Miss--er--Princess.

(JARVIS _resumes work on trunk._ PRINCESS _crosses to_ JARVIS.)

PRINCESS. Can you do it?

JARVIS. I think so--yes, it's going--there it goes--through!

PRINCESS. Make another. (_She crosses to the dresser._)

JARVIS. Haven't time. I'll widen this one a little. Remember this trunk must not go in the hold of the ship. Have it marked "Wanted" and "This end up." I will lie with my head this way. I'll put the shears in here, and I can cut another hole from the inside if it gets too stuffy.

PRINCESS. (_Takes revolver from dressing table and gives it to_ JARVIS) And you better take this, too.

JARVIS. How do you know you can trust me?

PRINCESS. I don't--I have to take that chance.

JARVIS. You must have a pretty good reason.

PRINCESS. I have.

JARVIS. Now, before I get in this, there's just one or two things I would like to know. What about the ghost?

PRINCESS. Are you afraid?

JARVIS. Lord, no, I just wanted to know--that's all.

PRINCESS. You'll know in time, Mr. Jarvis.

JARVIS. Are you really--a sure thing--Princess?

PRINCESS. Why did you say that?

JARVIS. Oh, I don't know. Somehow you're not quite like what I thought a Princess would be.

PRINCESS. I'm sorry.

JARVIS. Oh, I didn't mean it that way. I mean that you're different from the popular idea of a Princess. You have more understanding--more sympathy--more heart.

PRINCESS. (_Icily_) In that respect, sir, you will find me quite like your popular idea.

JARVIS. (_Squelched_) I wonder if that hole will let in enough air?

PRINCESS. I hope so. (PORTER _knocks._) It must be the men for the trunk. Who is it, please?

PORTER. Trunks.

JARVIS. (_Getting into trunk_) Remember? This trunk must not go into the hold of the ship. You must have it marked "Wanted" and "This side up."

You might add, "With Care," if you've a mind to.

PRINCESS. Are you all right?

JARVIS. No.

[Ill.u.s.tration: "THE GHOST BREAKER" _See Page 17_]

PRINCESS. (_Shuts trunk, crosses and opens door_) The trunk is ready.

PORTER. (_Enter and cross with truck_ L. _of trunk_) Very good, ma'am.

PRINCESS. Have the other trunks gone?

PORTER. Yes'm, last night.

PRINCESS. This goes on the special wagon, Porter.

(_Enter_ HOUSE DETECTIVE _and sees broken door._)

PORTER. (_Setting trunk on end_) Yes, mum. I'll see that a special sticker is put on it.

PRINCESS. (_Crosses left of trunk_) Have it marked "Wanted" and "This end up."

PORTER. (_Putting trunk on truck_) You'll find it in your room when you get down to the steamer.

PRINCESS. And, Porter, handle it gently.

PORTER. Sh.o.r.e, I never smashed one in my life. (_Starts off_ R.) I'll handle it like it had gla.s.s on the inside, so don't worry one little bit.

HOUSE DETECTIVE. (_Stopping trunk_ C. _to_ PRINCESS) Just a minute, Porter. How did that lock get broken?

PRINCESS. (_Frightened, but trying not to show it_) It was broken when I came.

DETECTIVE. How long have you been here?

PRINCESS. We came yesterday.

DETECTIVE. How long are you going to stay?

PRINCESS. We sail this morning for Europe.