The Ghost Breaker: A Melodramatic Farce in Four Acts Part 3

JARVIS. The trunk? What about it?

PRINCESS. I am sending it on board the Aquitania at six o'clock.

JARVIS. (_Dragging trunk down stage_) You mean to get in it? Good Lord, is it big enough?

PRINCESS. I think so--and no one could possibly suspect---- (JARVIS _takes out trays--locket drops out--back to audience._) Oh----

JARVIS. What is it?

PRINCESS. It's nothing--I mean it's all right--it's just a locket.

JARVIS. Did I break it?

PRINCESS. No---- (JARVIS _takes contents out of trunk._) I broke it myself on purpose--yesterday. It means a great deal to me and perhaps to you. Some day you may know the reason why.

JARVIS. (_Gets in trunk_) Would you mind putting this lid down?

(PRINCESS _puts down lid of trunk on_ JARVIS. _Grunts._) O-oo-ou-ugh!

(_Raises lid and stands up in trunk._ PRINCESS _raises lid all the way back as soon as_ JARVIS _shouts._) I'll die in there.

PRINCESS. But it's a chance.

JARVIS. You're _right_! I'll _take_ it. (_Gets out of trunk and goes to trays._) What are we going to do with these?

PRINCESS. We had better send those by messenger.

JARVIS. (_Turning_) Hold on--I've got it. No, you had better 'phone.

(PRINCESS _crosses to 'phone_ R.) Ask the operator to give you the Hotel Belmont, across the street. My room is 417. Rusty, my servant, is there now, waiting for word from me. (_He crosses to_ PRINCESS.) He can be trusted. Tell him to come here at once--and say "Warren." That will fetch him.

PRINCESS. 417? h.e.l.lo---- Connect me with the Hotel Belmont, please.

JARVIS. Remember, ask for room 417.

PRINCESS. Yes, I know. h.e.l.lo, h.e.l.lo! Is this the Belmont?--Give me room 417.

JARVIS. Ask if it's Rusty and be sure and say "Warren."

PRINCESS. h.e.l.lo--is this Mr. Rusty? Well, listen carefully. You are to come right over to the Manhattan Hotel, across the street from where you are. A bellboy will be waiting for you at the desk, and he is to bring you right up to room 1121.

JARVIS. And tell him to keep his mouth shut----

PRINCESS. And--and--don't talk to anyone.... What's that? "Warren."

He'll be coming right over.

JARVIS. Now get the clerk downstairs, and tell them to look out for Rusty and send him up here.

PRINCESS. h.e.l.lo, h.e.l.lo! I'm expecting a man--

JARVIS. A colored man.

PRINCESS. A colored man. To get some things. He will come right to the desk. Please send him up at once. It is very important. (JARVIS _takes out knife and begins boring hole in trunk from inside out. This hole should be already cut and covered with a label._) What are you doing that for?

JARVIS. Got to breathe. I think I can---- (_Apparently the knife breaks._) Confound it!

PRINCESS. What did you do?

JARVIS. Snapped the blade. Now how am I going to cut a hole in that trunk?

PRINCESS. (_Crossing to dresser_) Will my shears do?

JARVIS. If they are not too large. Where are they? (PRINCESS _gives_ JARVIS _shears._) Thank you. What time does the boat sail?

PRINCESS. Nine o'clock.

JARVIS. Good--that will give Rusty time to get aboard with these trays and my baggage.

PRINCESS. We've ten minutes before they call for the trunk. (_Knock at door 6._ PRINCESS _looks at_ JARVIS_, who makes gesture cautioning silence and exits door_ L. PRINCESS _crosses and opens door._) Come in, please.

RUSTY. (_Enter across center_) Where's Ma.r.s.e Warren----? (_Enter_ JARVIS _across to_ RUSTY.) Lord bless you, Ma.r.s.e Warren--I certainly thought he got you!

JARVIS. (_Patting_ RUSTY _on the back_) Never mind what you thought.

Help me with these--it's ten minutes to six--we sail for Europe in three hours.

RUSTY. Three hours! Good Lord! You mean we----

JARVIS. Yes, you and I. What are we going to wrap these in? (_Picking up trays._)

PRINCESS. Here, this will do. (_Handing steamer rug from chair._)

JARVIS. Fine! (_Spreading steamer rug on trunk and putting tray on it, wraps up tray during speech._) Take these, with our baggage, to the steamship Aquitania--Cunard Line. Buy accommodations. Mind, you won't see me till after we get out at sea. Keep in your stateroom and sit tight till you hear from me. You understand? Cunard Line--and the clerk at our hotel will attend to everything and get the tickets. Then you pay the bill. Now get hold of this money. (JARVIS _gives_ RUSTY _money._) I beg your pardon! This is Rusty. Rusty, this is the Princess of Aragon.

RUSTY. How do you do, Mrs. Princess?

JARVIS. There--that will do. Now do you understand?

RUSTY. Yes, sir. I take everything to the steamboat--get accom--ac-commoda--accommoda----

JARVIS. Accommodations.

RUSTY. Accomo--accommoda---- I know what you mean. (_With smile at_ PRINCESS.) For us and Mrs. Princess?

JARVIS. No, no--not for the Princess--just for we two.

RUSTY. Oh, yas, sir, I understand perfectly, sir.

JARVIS. (_Gives parcel to_ RUSTY) Now, then, what's the name of the boat?

RUSTY. The Aqui-tania.

JARVIS. What's the name of the line?