The Exception: A Novel Part 24

It takes less than a week for the others to get their revenge, in an act crueler than Anne-Lise could have imagined. One morning she discovers a brown powder all over her hands. She has managed to stain her blouse with it, and smudge her face with brownish red streaks.

Anne-Lise observes Malenes face. That woman knows something; it feels just like the time when Malene humiliated her in front of Frederik Thorsteinsson a few days earlier. But Anne-Lise still cant figure out what the substance is. She searches her office area. When she knocks over a box file on the top shelf, the fluid inside it splashes out. She closes her eyes instantly, leaps backward, and hears the box crash to the floor.

She screams and opens her eyes. Thick, viscous fluid is spattered everywhere. Her clothes are covered in spots and stains. It is blood. Her skin is sticky with blood. It is so awful that her mind blanks out. All she can do is look at Malene, who has appeared in the doorway. Malene acts as if she is truly shocked, but shes not convincing enough. Theres a smug little smile lurking behind her frown.

Anne-Lise wants to leave and go home, and accepts Pauls offer of a taxi even though her car is parked right outside.

Only when shes home and has taken a shower does she call Henrik. While she talks to him, she wanders from room to room in her white dressing gown with her damp hair wrapped in a white towel. Something significant happened today. She feels deeply uneasy, but after the hot bath it all seems rather remote.

Henrik is shouting into the phone. Thats it! Youve got to stop working there! Theyll kill you next!

But, you know, when they saw me covered in blood, they were so upset. They felt genuinely sorry for me. At least, Iben and Camilla did.

Anne-Lise is on her way to the kitchen. I think they regretted it. Maybe theyve got their anger out of their system now. Maybe this will be the end of it.

Anne-Lise, it will not be the end.

But they helped me clean up, you know. I think they felt shocked at what theyd done.

Anne-Lise try to get it into your head. They. Will. Not. Stop.

Anne-Lise doesnt answer him.

Henrik takes a deep breath. For a moment he cant think of what to say. Then he makes up his mind. Im coming home now. Ill tell everyone that Im not feeling well. Ill be with you in twenty minutes.

In the kitchen, Anne-Lise makes a cheese roll. She drifts about, bare feet on the parquet, while she eats.

Maybe it is not just the others who have rid themselves of their anger. She too has purged herself of something only she doesnt yet know what it is.

chapter 26.

anne-Lise hears the engine of Henriks Audi outside. He storms into the hall.

Anne-Lise, youre coming with me. Ive told Yngve what youve had to put up with and he says he can see you right away. Lets go. Henrik would have liked to drag Anne-Lise to the car at once, but she has to get dressed and tidy herself up.

Yngve is their family doctor. They have been with him for years, long before they moved to Holte. When Henrik had trouble with his knee after a car accident, Yngve was more helpful than the orthopedic consultant. Later, when they were trying for a baby and Anne-Lise initially failed to get pregnant, Yngve again impressed them more than the gynecologist she had been referred to.

Yngve is now in his fifties, but people still seem to find him exceptionally attractive. He wears his dark hair cut short and keeps his powerful, square chin clean-shaven. His voice is deep and melodious.

Somehow Anne-Lise always has the impression that he is a lonely man. She wonders if he is gay. Theres definitely something different about him.

The receptionist shows them into his consultation room. It smells faintly of soap and the medicinal scents of bandages and antiseptics. Henrik and Anne-Lise settle into the two cheap black plastic chairs. Yngve has never bothered to refurbish his offices.

He comes into the room, sits down, and puts his large hands on the desk, palms down. Then he turns to Anne-Lise and asks her why she has come today.

She doesnt get very far before he interrupts her. Sorry, Anne-Lise. I want to make it clear from the start that any kind of systematic bullying is deadly more dangerous than drinking or smoking. The victims sometimes think they can hold out and deal with the situation, but its impossible.

Yes.

I see quite a few people who have been bullied in my practice. Sometimes they commit suicide, or they contract illnesses. Some die. Some become unemployable; others start drinking or doing drugs. One way or another, being bullied does enormous damage.

Henrik straightens up and turns to Anne-Lise. For the moment he thinks that he and Yngve are of one mind. You see. You have to go on sick leave. Tell them tomorrow and resign. Not one more day in that place.

Yngve taps a small notebook on the desktop. Right. That certainly is one solution. But Im afraid I believe its the wrong one.

Anne-Lise casts a sidelong glance at Henrik. His only reaction is to stay perched on his flimsy chair, smiling and waiting, curious to hear why the doctor thinks that hes wrong.

Anne-Lise wants to have her say. Ive installed a program on my office computer that deletes any evidence of Internet searches. Now I can spend time at work checking job seekers sites and sending off applications.

Yngve smiles at her. Good idea. Have you applied anywhere yet?

Over the last six months Ive applied twenty-two times, but I wasnt called for an interview even once. Ive followed up each one and I phoned to ask what was wrong, as you should. But they get so many applications and always seem to pick someone younger.

Henrik adds, Which is why weve stopped applying for a bit.

Yes. Just for a bit. I needed a break. For now.

Yngve puts his hands together. Anne-Lise, you have three options. One, you allow yourself to be pushed out of your job and, the way the market operates now, you might never work again. Two, you stay and let the others carry on bullying you. But you have a third option: stay on and make the others stop persecuting you.

Henrik is surprised. I thought that the experts agreed that when youre being bullied, the best thing to do is get out as quickly as possible? Because its a battle you cant win?

Thats what they say.

Conventional wisdom doesnt influence Yngve. As he speaks, its clear that he is indifferent to the experts. His calm brown eyes rest first on Anne-Lise, then on Henrik.

Anne-Lise, if you resign, you will spend the rest of your life thinking of yourself as a loser, and of the world as an evil place. Its destructive. But if you let them work you over, they will destroy you. My advice is to confront them. Can you do that?

At first Anne-Lise couldnt see the point of Henriks insistence on seeing their doctor. Now she feels it was a very good idea.

Yes.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Excellent. Im glad to hear you say that. Having gotten to know you over all these years, Im sure you can. And Im convinced youll be able to change your working conditions.

There is something about the doctors manner, the way he speaks in his deep voice, that makes Anne-Lise trust him implicitly. Now hes smiling at her.

Do you believe me when I say you can change things at work?

Yes yes, I do.

Good.

Anne-Lise observes Yngves large hands. He is leaning forward in his chair, poised to go on to the next item on the agenda.

I want you to know that no one has been able to demonstrate any common personality traits in people who have been subjected to bullying at work. It has been studied, of course. The usual theory is that bullies go for people who are socially maladjusted in some way introverts or slackers or incompetents or whatever. None of this turns out to be true. On the contrary, its often the more able members of staff who are picked on. But there does seem to be one recurring aspect in the victims personality, which is that they, to a greater extent than their colleagues, dislike being confrontational. They are rather pa.s.sive, hoping that their tormentors will stop. Which doesnt happen, of course. So, there you are, Anne-Lise. Are you afraid of standing up to your colleagues?

Anne-Lise thinks about what a special person the doctor is. Coming from someone else, his paternal tone would be almost offensive, but from Yngve it seems completely desirable and convincing.

I wasnt scared in my previous job. But what is important to me right now is being included in their group, so naturally I avoid making waves. Theres something else: I always feel that something dreadful will happen if I do express my opinion about anything at all.

Theres a crash outside the office a tray or something but Yngves face doesnt register a thing.

Yes, I see. It makes it easier to push you around. Listen.

Yes?

These characters will become more and more aggressive as time goes by. The essential thing is to make them realize there are limits. This far and no farther.

Yngve seems more pensive than usual. Could it be that he was once bullied too, perhaps long ago? She cannot ask him.

Bullying is very common among children, both at school and in afterschool clubs and so forth. Teachers spend hours telling the kids not to be bullies and devising punishments for them if they are found out. Political initiatives are aimed solely at putting an end to bullying, all doomed to fail, or so it seems. Now and then bullied children have been brought to see me. Almost invariably they suffer from serious illnesses or psychological trauma, rooted in their victimization.

He picks up a pen, balances it on the palm of his hand, and stares at it for a moment. Then he looks up at them. Adult bullying is less well recognized, but it is also common. Maybe you think Im being melodramatic, but I take bullying as seriously as heart disease or cancer. I do and I should.

Anne-Lise wonders whether Yngve has a lover. If he really is gay, that is.

The fact is, people kill each other. Regardless of whatever action is taken and whatever we are taught, victimizing others is part of human nature.

What Yngve says is quite different from the views of the genocide researchers Anne-Lise is familiar with. At the DCIG she has read articles about ordinary people killing other ordinary people, but the investigators always argue that the circ.u.mstances were exceptional, and start with the premise that, for human beings, cooperation and kindness are the norm. None of these research papers has ever said that murder is an unavoidable outcome of human nature, yet Yngves view has resonance.

We eat, we reproduce, we protect those closest to us. And we reject those who are different from us and kill our rivals. Human beings try, more or less effectively, to exert control over our instincts. We are different from animals in that we have exceptional willpower. For instance, in no other species is there an entire community where no one has s.e.x. Just think of the Vatican.

But most people give in to temptation at some point. Your concentration slips for just a moment and there you are: being unfaithful, eating fattening foods, or slowly torturing a colleague to death. The latter, of course, is forbidden, so a person may prefer not to be conscious of what theyre doing like a form of self-deception.

Consider your colleagues states of mind, Anne-Lise. They feel a little like you would if you were alone one evening, watching television and feeling hungry with a large bowl of chips sitting in front of you. Youre determined not to eat them and stick to your resolve, but if the program captures your attention, you forget and start reaching for the chips. Before you realize it, theyre gone. You may not even be able to recall having eaten them.

Thats what you are to your colleagues: a temptation. At the outset they may well have decided to be pleasant toward you. Or maybe they never did. Either way, they still see you as a rival and, without their planning to, there will be times when they cant resist going after you. The reaction is so instinctive that afterward theyll hardly remember.

Yngve is very persuasive, but his arguments upset Anne-Lise. Still, something about the man makes her sit calmly and listen. Henrik has also been very quiet. She can hear Yngves receptionist rummaging about on the other side of the door, no doubt cleaning up whatever was spilled. Anne-Lise considers how she has always thought of Yngve as being lonely, even though she knows absolutely nothing about his private life. Does it have something to do with his intelligence, or was she responding intuitively to the faintly depressed tone that never quite leaves his voice?

They agree that Anne-Lise shouldnt accuse the others of having rigged the blood trap. Without proof, she would be fighting a losing battle, and it would expose her even more to her colleagues anger.

Anne-Lise, can you think of something theyve done that was clearly wrong? Or an argument youre certain to win if theres a confrontation?

Im not sure. I make wrong decisions all the time and I do stupid things. My head is bursting with how horrible it all is. Im not my normal self.

Of course, thats understandable. But things will change. Look forward to that, even though its hard for you now.

The receptionist comes in to say the next patient is waiting. She speaks quickly, as if she is scared of Yngve. He answers pleasantly enough and turns back to Anne-Lise.

Havent you witnessed anything theyve done that goes against the Centers interests?

Anne-Lise reflects carefully. One of the users, a man called Erik Prins, told me that Malene had given him false information about library searches, just to keep him away from me. That could be Would you have put up with that in your previous job?

Not for a moment.

There you are! Be confident. Its unacceptable now as well. He flattens his hands on the tabletop again. This is a battle you can win, isnt it?

Yes.

Do you really believe that?

Yes, I do.

Excellent. He gets up and shakes their hands, first Henriks and then Anne-Lises. I want to see you again. Its my job to deal with any issue thats seriously threatening your well-being, whether it be physical or psychological. You are not going to let your colleagues push you into unemployment. You will fight them.

Yes. Yes, I will.

Very good. Now lets decide when you should come back and tell me how things have progressed. Maybe in about three weeks time?

Yes.

Good. Just ask for an appointment at reception.

When Anne-Lise and Henrik step outside, theyre both surprised that it is still bright. It feels as if it should be evening by now, but the incident at the DCIG was only a few hours ago. They have several hours before they need to collect the children.

Anne-Lise keeps her promise to Yngve, but afterward her life at work doesnt get any better. It has done her no good to confront Malene about Erik Prins. Malene simply shifts the blame and demands to know who the user is. Anne-Lise is more at fault than ever.

The Winter Garden seems quieter now that the door is always open. They speak in low voices, or e-mail each other, or wander off to talk in the kitchen or the meeting rooms. A few times Anne-Lise has surprised them while they are using a made-up sign language and giggling a lot.

During lunch Iben gives little lectures, often based on the books she reads when she cant sleep. These days she seems to be sticking to psychiatry textbooks. While Iben goes on about mental health problems, she watches Anne-Lise. Its plain for all to see that Iben thinks Anne-Lise must be suffering from dissociative ident.i.ty disorder.

One evening after yet another hostile day of pointed remarks and hints that shes somehow deranged, Anne-Lise is reading Little House in the Big Woods to her children. Ulrik and Clara are both in Ulriks room. Clara is lying on her back in the lower bunk, balancing her Barbie doll on her tummy. Sometimes her lips form soundless words; sometimes she mumbles. She seems not to be listening, but the next day she will remember everything that happened in the story.

Ulrik is in the upper bunk. He has pushed the duvet away and rests his head on the edge of the bed.

Claras mumbling is getting louder.

Ulrik leans forward. Shut up! Stop making that noise!

Clara carries on playing with her doll and seems not to notice.

The bedroom air is warm and smells slightly of toothpaste. Anne-Lise can pick up sounds from Henriks study. He is trying to do something new with his two computers.

Ulrik shouts at Clara more crossly than before. Shut up! Shut up!

Anne-Lise reads on about Lauras father, who is walking in the forest and sees a doe with its fawn. Claras voice fades and becomes inaudible again. Without warning, tears well up in Anne-Lises eyes. The fawn doesnt run away. It stands quite still, looking wide-eyed at Lauras father. The tears are running quietly down Anne-Lises cheeks. They keep coming even though there is nothing sad about the story.

After a while, Ulrik notices. Mommy? Whats the matter?