The Exception: A Novel Part 23

Everyone on the staff of Lyngby Central Library had gathered for the farewell party on Anne-Lises last day. They stood about in the large lobby, holding their gla.s.ses of white wine and plates of canapes. The large windows offered panoramic views of Lake Mlle and its landscaped surroundings.

The head librarians words seemed entirely genuine. We will miss your warmth and your ability to share in our lives as if we were all your close friends. We will miss your sense of fun. Naturally, whoever succeeds you will find you a hard act to follow. I believe that theres not one of us who, when faced with a troublesome database indeed, any computer problem has not instinctively thought of consulting you first. Of course it did occur to us, on occasion, that it wasnt fair to rely on your goodwill all the time!

Anne-Lises colleagues beamed at this.

So then wed try asking each other instead. But sooner or later wed always end up coming back to you. And youd have the answer, of course!

By now they were all laughing. Anne-Lise looked around the circle of faces. It had been a difficult decision to leave after all the years of working in this place. But she had taken a leap into the unknown and hoped that her new job at the Danish Center for Information on Genocide would bring new, interesting responsibilities and would also give her the opportunity to meet a whole range of fascinating people.

She took the whole scene in: the lakes oddly dark green water glinting outside, the ducks swimming right beneath the library windows, her colleagues standing around chatting and the hand-colored engraving of old Lyngby, her farewell gift.

The head librarian raised her gla.s.s and looked at Anne-Lise. I believe no, I know that you will have a great time in your new job. But maybe you will, from time to time, think about us and remember us fondly? Id like to believe that too. I feel we have created a special atmosphere here and weve shared many good years together. In any case, you can be certain that we will always think fondly of you.

On her first day at the DCIG, Anne-Lise came in to work full of hope, but also a little apprehensive about not being able to meet the expectations of her academically qualified new colleagues, who were younger than she was. Still, she had decided to change her job precisely because she wanted new challenges. She put on a new cashmere twinset, and she had asked her hairdresser to freshen up her hair color.

The first three days went well enough. Malene taught her the cataloging system and set her up recording the new books and doc.u.ments that had come in while the library was understaffed. The previous librarian had followed her husband to his new job in Finland about a month earlier.

Cataloging meant that Anne-Lise worked in the library on her own. It seemed such a dark place, as if the crowded shelves somehow absorbed all the light. It would be good to join the others sometime soon, she thought. More lamps in the library would help in the meantime, but Anne-Lise realized that she should wait awhile before asking for anything. Her priority at this point was to ensure that her relationship with her new colleagues got off to a good start.

There was another problem, though. A door next to her desk led to a small room housing a copier and a printer. When it was left open, the fumes made it difficult to breathe. She kept closing the door, but the others left it open every time they used the machines. Anne-Lise resigned herself to this for the time being.

Malenes aunt had died a few days before Anne-Lise started work. It was heartening that they felt able to discuss family issues and it was, of course, perfectly understandable that some of the others conversations were conducted in whispers. As the days went by, however, Anne-Lise felt no less excluded. She sat alone in the library working on the catalog from morning till night, except during breaks.

Anne-Lise tried to tell them things about herself so that they might get to know her better. She wanted to show them that she could be fun, but somehow her jokes didnt seem to go over well with them. They seemed to have their own brand of humor.

After more than a week had pa.s.sed, Anne-Lise felt that she could finally raise the matter of the copier room door. She was in the Winter Garden. Malene and Iben were sitting at their desks and were obviously keen to get back to work. She felt quite awkward, standing in middle of the floor with nothing to do with her hands.

Malene smiled at her and explained that they had always kept the door open because if they didnt, the air in the copier room became unbearable.

I see, of course. But certainly the best thing would be to leave the window open in there. Otherwise the awful smell permeates the library.

No one responded.

Anne-Lise went on. And of course the fumes spread to you as well.

Weve tried leaving the window open, but it gets too cold if you have a lot of copying to do. Your predecessor didnt have any problem with it.

For a few days Anne-Lise agreed to what the others wanted and left the door open. Only when the big copier had been running nonstop for more than an hour and the chemical smell became so suffocating that she couldnt breathe did she open the window. Although nothing was said, she noticed later that the window had been closed again.

One day, Paul overheard them discussing the matter and suggested that they should alternate between keeping the window and the door open. The others apparently thought Anne-Lise had spoken about the problem within Pauls earshot on purpose. For the rest of the afternoon the women fell silent every time she pa.s.sed through, punishing her for the unpardonable sin of squealing to the boss.

In bed with Henrik that evening, Anne-Lise wept for the first time, longing for her old job. It was hard for her to admit that she didnt much care for Malene and Iben. They had a way of giggling together and talking about people she didnt know that seemed to exclude everyone else. Camilla, on the other hand, seemed very nice. She was married and had children and was about the same age as she was. Maybe they would get on well once they got to know each other better.

The next morning she pulled herself together. She had to believe that all this was just a minor setback. She put on more makeup than usual; then she wiped it off again just before leaving home.

They still didnt speak to her. While she ruminated on how best to handle the situation, she tried not to feel scared. It takes time to adjust to a new place of work, she thought. If Im determined and stay calm, it will be all right in the end.

During the lunch break she again tried her best to pretend that everything was fine. She listened to Ibens and Malenes girlish anecdotes and watched Camilla to see when she should smile or laugh.

A couple of days later Anne-Lise picked a time when Paul was away to ask the others right out if there was something she had done to annoy them. They said no, not at all, but Anne-Lise didnt give up. She did everything she could to convince them that they must let her know. In the end, Iben admitted that they thought Anne-Lise had been rather inconsiderate about the copier room window.

This little exchange of views did some good. Despite Pauls suggestion that the window stay open after every second use, Anne-Lise emphasized that as far as she was concerned, it was all right if they always shut it.

They became nicer to her after that. For a while.

But then Iben and Malene were sending faxes and there seemed to be a private joke going between them. On her first day, Anne-Lise had sent a fax to the chairman of the board by mistake. She hadnt known that his number was on Speed Dial and the fax went off the second Anne-Lise keyed in the first digit. Now Ibens and Malenes voices were loud enough to ensure that Anne-Lise could hear them.

I mustnt make a mistake when I send this fax!

Iben laughed. Who is it for?

Its for Ole.

Oh, but its so-o easy to do!

They didnt say anything else, but the sneering tone of their voices made it clear that they were making fun of her.

Camilla also made it clear that she wanted to keep her distance from Anne-Lise, even though they had had a few good conversations when the others were not around.

Barely five months into her new job, Anne-Lise was so wound up that she cried almost every evening. She cried in the car on the way home. She cried in the kitchen when she cooked supper and the children watched television. Later on, in bed with Henrik, she sobbed in his arms. Less than half a year ago, she had been happy and her worst problem at work had been boredom.

Henrik tried to comfort her by saying that she could easily get another job, but all that did was make Anne-Lise sob even harder.

But dont you see? There are no other jobs. Everybody is cutting back. And if a place does have a vacancy, theyll pick someone younger!

Anne-Lise clung to Henrik. She went over what she had done in the office and regretted everything. If only Id kept quiet about that window! If only Id let it be!

Henrik held her close to calm her. Come on, thats neither here nor there. Its such a little thing.

Yes, I know. Such a stupid little thing! I couldnt know, could I? How was I to know that just mentioning the smell was so frowned upon? The others get their way, always with everything! And all I wanted was to close the stupid door!

The next morning Anne-Lise went to an Internet site where she could download a program that traced and recovered files that had been deleted from her hard disk. While the others a.s.sumed that she was silently at work, plugging away at her deadly dull cataloging job, she ran the newly installed program. It turned out that quite a few fascinating things were hidden inside her computer.

Anne-Lises predecessor might never have protested to her colleagues about her working conditions, but she certainly e-mailed both her husband and her friends to tell them how intensely she detested every hour she had to spend at the Center. She had written to a friend to say what fantastic luck it was that her husband had got the Finnish job, because it was d.a.m.n near impossible to find another job as a librarian in Denmark.

Anne-Lise also found evidence of wide-ranging communications with the Centers users. Clearly, the previous librarian had escaped being corralled into only scanning files and updating the catalog. Malene had taken over the entire external relations side of the librarians job during the three weeks before Anne-Lises appointment. Anne-Lise could not imagine what her situation would be like if she tried to reclaim the position. All h.e.l.l would break loose.

chapter 25.

almost a year has pa.s.sed since Anne-Lise started working at the DCIG. It is late in the afternoon when she steps into the old elevator to leave the office. Through the closed main door to the Center she can still faintly hear Malene laughing. Then the sound of amus.e.m.e.nt fades as the elevators whining seals her in.

Soon sh.e.l.l be outside the building, the moment she has been looking forward to all day; she even fell asleep last night comforting herself with the thought of it, its never-ending cycle: a few pleasant hours with her family before the dread of the next day at work overwhelms her and then the consoling thought that that day too will eventually end.

She breathes in deeply several times.

Near the top edge of one of the elevators wooden panels someone has scratched three filthy little drawings. Anne-Lise stares at the drawings as the trembling descent of the elevator slowly transports her down and away from the DCIG.

Today Henrik is collecting the children. He will take them to soccer practice and dance cla.s.s and wait for them, doing some of his paperwork in the car. This way Anne-Lise will have at least an hour and a half to herself before she has to prepare dinner. She decided a few days ago that it was about time she had her old friend Nicola over. They havent had a real opportunity to chat, just the two of them, in more than a year.

Anne-Lise stops to buy cakes for their afternoon tea and is on her way home when, suddenly, she finds herself east of Lyngby, driving on the northbound motorway toward Helsingr. How odd. She must have been in the wrong lane when the motorway divided. She finds a slip road and soon picks up the direction back to the Lyngby bypa.s.s.

Anne-Lise and Henrik live in an old-style house with red-limed walls, near the nature reserve at Holte. It stands just a few rows away from the wildly expensive homes with views over Lake Fure, and has a larger garden than most of the neighboring villas. The area is the perfect place to raise children, which is the main reason Anne-Lise and Henrik chose it over the wealthier districts along the resund coast.

When Anne-Lise eventually pulls up in front of her home, Nicola is waiting for her on the porch. She looks warm in her short, obviously expensive fur jacket, tight dark brown trousers, and leather boots. Must be Prada boots, Anne-Lise thinks. Nicola loves Prada.

Nicola is beaming with pleasure. She gives Anne-Lise a big hug, and their friendship immediately picks up where it left off a year ago.

Ive told everybody that dinner will be late tonight, because I want a chance to see Henrik and the kids as well. And Im so looking forward to seeing what you two have done to the house since last time.

Over the years Anne-Lise and Henrik have made quite a few changes. Theyve had three walls taken down to enlarge some of the rooms. Together they built a stone table and a huge cupboard in the old scullery at the back of the house, and theyve decorated several rooms with stucco ornaments brought back from Italy. When they were more or less happy with the house, theyd started on the garden.

Anne-Lise unlocks the front door and explains that they havent really done anything special since the last time.

Nicola steps inside. Oh, come on. I dont believe it. I know you two. Theres no stopping you!

As she fills the electric kettle, Anne-Lise asks Nicola how her son is. Anne-Lise is very fond of Nicola; its strange that its taken her so long to invite her over.

They met each other many years ago through Jutta, a mutual friend they rarely see now. Juttas boyfriend had studied business management and both Anne-Lise and Nicola met their husbands through him. Since then Nicolas husband has become a managing director in Maersk Oil. Although living on one of the most elegant streets in h.e.l.lerup has changed Nicola to a certain degree, she has kept her nursing job and remains the kind of person whom Anne-Lise feels she can trust to say exactly what she thinks.

They have their tea and cakes. Afterward, Nicola insists that they do a tour of the house. They end up in the garden, looking at the group of rhododendrons the previous owner planted at least forty years ago. The foliage on the lilac trees is turning an autumnal brown, and the leaves from the dogwood bush near the apple tree lie scattered on the ground, so that the trees deep-red branches are almost bare.

Anne-Lise remembers how, just a few years ago, she and Henrik would get up early and spend their Sat.u.r.days and Sundays working on their home. At the end of each day, they would stand together and admire their achievements. But apathy has set in, and now shes finding it difficult to whip up enough interest to do anything at all.

The two women go back inside and sit in front of the fireplace. They chat about their families and old friends.

Anne-Lise thinks that Nicola wont notice any change in her, but as shes describing Claras new dance outfit, Nicola interrupts her: Anne-Lise?

Yes?

You must tell me whats wrong.

Anne-Lise stares at her.

Its something to do with your new job, isnt it? Is it the same old problem?

Soon after Anne-Lise started work at the DCIG, she told Nicola a little about how the others behaved, but she kept the worst to herself.

Nicola is concerned. Youve changed so much. I hardly recognize you.

I havent changed!

Anne-Lise, listen. Youre not yourself. Dont you remember what you used to be like? Nicola looks Anne-Lise in the eye and reaches out a hand to console her. A gold bracelet slips out from under the thin white shirt-sleeve. Why dont you give your old boss a ring? She really liked you. Maybe they could take you back.

Anne-Lise is speechless. She feels so defeated. Does Nicola really believe it would be that easy to get her old job back? The room becomes blurred; her eyes are filling with tears.

Nicola takes her hand. You must tell someone about what your colleagues are doing to you. If you dont, theyll ruin your life away from work as well.

Anne-Lise is sniffing back the tears. She clears her throat and Nicola runs off to fetch a roll of paper towels.

Soon everything comes pouring out. For the first time Anne-Lise tells someone apart from Henrik what it is really like.

I cant understand how they can be so callous! And yet they think of themselves as such good, idealistic people Nicola is rubbing her arm gently. Its so different from the way Anne-Lise is treated at work.

It doesnt matter one iota to them if I lose my job, or my husband divorces me, or my children get into trouble, but I still have to work with them. I have to smile and talk to them. Every single day, Im forced to look them in the eye and pretend I dont hate them.

Anne-Lise, you must stop working there.

But I cant!

Yes, you can. Just stop. Youll find another job soon enough.

Anne-Lise tears herself away. But Ill become like Jutta!

Nonsense. You wont.

Yes, I will! I dont want to be like her. Id hate to be like her!

Nicolas voice is calm and gentle. Anne-Lise, you will never be like Jutta. Im sure of that. Whatever happens, you wont.

When Nicola and Anne-Lise were friends with Jutta, Jutta was working for a marketing company. She and the company director had a falling out and Jutta couldnt stand working there any longer. Afterward she landed another job, but then got into trouble with her colleagues. Meanwhile, her husband became a self-employed investment broker and did very well, earning far more than either Anne-Lises or Nicolas husband. Although Jutta didnt need to work financially, she disliked staying at home all day and decided to open a small shop selling exclusive Italian and French kitchenware. Her husband put up the cash to help her get started, but in the end she couldnt cope with managing a store either.

Now Jutta is better dressed than ever. She has turned the house into an amazing display of Oregon pine, all the floors and the paneling. The furniture has been designed by a Swedish architect, with whom Jutta got in touch after seeing a long article about his ideas in an interior design magazine. When she meets working women, she always asks how they are getting along and invariably says something like How wonderful for you! but her interest is only superficial. She apparently believes the mantra preached by all her magazines: buy all these things and they will make you a better person.

A few years ago Jutta would occasionally phone Anne-Lise or Nicola when she was drunk. They never found out how often she drank alone at home, but the phone calls prompted them to talk about trying to help her. She not only rejected their help but also managed to do it in a condescending way. Worst of all, her children were said to have become aggressive and problematic. Could it be that Jutta has abandoned her responsibility for her children as well?

Anne-Lise and Nicola hear Henriks car in the driveway. Her family has arrived home.

For a moment Anne-Lise is confused. Then she makes a dash for the door, calling out to Nicola: Tell them Im in the bathroom! In the hall, she suddenly turns back and pops her head around the door. Nicola, thank you! I just have to She runs into the bathroom to fix her face. Outside, the childrens voices call, Mommy! Mommy! as they run to the living room. It feels so bad to hide from them. Henrik comes in and slams the front door.

Anne-Lise washes off the smeared mascara and lipstick and rinses her eyes with cold water. As she goes through the motions quickly, she listens to Ulrik running around from room to room, looking for her. Before the Center, Anne-Lise could not have imagined ever being tempted just to let go, to follow in the footsteps of Jutta. But then, maybe shes already on that downward slope? Maybe everyone else thinks so but Nicola is the only one who dared say anything. Whatever happens, her problems must not affect Clara and Ulrik. She cant let them pay the price for her troubles at the DCIG.

A few weeks after Nicolas visit, Iben and Malene both receive an anonymous e-mail from someone who is threatening to kill them. The office is unsettled by this turn of events, and for the first time Anne-Lise dares to mention that the others dont always treat her well.

Malene, Iben, and Camilla instantly jump down her throat. Either they are extremely accomplished liars or they are so dishonest with themselves that they arent even aware of what they are doing. To them, the librarian is a dull, colorless creature with poor social skills because thats exactly what they expect her to be and they wont let Anne-Lise change their minds.

The day after their attack Paul asks her to join a staff meeting in his office. At the meeting the others claim that the door between the Winter Garden and the library has always been closed. Anne-Lise knows differently the door was always open when she started and it was only a month later that Camilla began to complain that she would get arthritis from the draft.

Paul doesnt agree with them and makes his first-ever decision in Anne-Lises favor. After having been patient for a whole year, at last she will be allowed contact with the Centers users, as she was promised in her interview. Also, the door to the library will not be closed anymore.