The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan Part 148

Groom about to be beheaded, In an hour on Tower Green!

Tower, Tower, Tower Green!

Groom in dreary dungeon lying, Groom as good as dead, or dying, For a pretty maiden sighing-- Pretty maid of seventeen!

Seven-- seven-- seventeen!

Strange adventure that we're trolling: Modest maid and gallant groom-- Gallant, gallant, gallant groom!-- While the funeral bell is tolling, Tolling, tolling, Bim-a-boom!

Bim-a, Bim-a, Bim-a-boom!

Modest maiden will not tarry; Though but sixteen year she carry, She must marry, she must marry, Though the altar be a tomb-- Tower-- Tower-- Tower tomb!

Tower tomb! Tower tomb!

Though the altar be a tomb!

Tower, Tower, Tower tomb!

[Exeunt DAME CARRUTHERS, MERYLL, and KATE.

FAIRFAX So my mysterious bride is no other than this winsome Elsie! By my hand, 'tis no such ill plunge in Fortune's lucky bag! I might have fared worse with my eyes open! But she comes. Now to test her principles.

'Tis not every husband who has a chance of wooing his own wife!

[Enter ELSIE

FAIRFAX Mistress Elsie!

ELSIE Master Leonard!

FAIRFAX So thou leavest us to-night?

ELSIE Yes. Master Leonard. I have been kindly tended, and I almost fear I am loth to go.

FAIRFAX And this Fairfax. Wast thou glad when he escaped?

ELSIE Why, truly, Master Leonard, it is a sad thing that a young and gallant gentleman should die in the very fullness of his life.

FAIRFAX Then when thou didst faint in my arms, it was for joy at his safety?

ELSIE It may be so. I was highly wrought, Master Leonard, and I am but a girl, and so, when I an highly wrought, I faint.

FAIRFAX Now, dost thou know, I am consumed with a parlous jealousy?

ELSIE Thou? And of whom?

FAIRFAX Why, of this Fairfax, surely!

ELSIE Of Colonel Fairfax?

FAIRFAX Aye. Shall I be frank with thee? Elsie-- I love thee, ardently, pa.s.sionately! [ELSIE alarmed and surprised]

Elsie, I have loved thee these two days-- which is a long time-- and I would fain join my life to thine!

ELSIE Master Leonard! Thou art jesting!

FAIRFAX Jesting? May I shrivel into raisins if I jest! I love thee with a love that is a fever-- with a love that is a frenzy-- with a love that eateth up my heart! What sayest thou? Thou wilt not let my heart be eaten up?

ELSIE [aside] Oh, mercy! What am I to say?

FAIRFAX Dost thou love me, or hast thou been insensible these two days?

ELSIE I love all brave men.

FAIRFAX Nay, there is love in excess. I thank heaven there are many brave men in England; but if thou lovest them all, I withdraw my thanks.

ELSIE I love the bravest best. But, sir, I may not listen-- I am not free-- I-- I am a wife!

FAIRFAX Thou a wife? Whose? His name? His hours are numbered--nay, his grave is dug and his epitaph set up!

Come, his name?

ELSIE Oh, sir! keep my secret-- it is the only barrier that Fate could set up between us. My husband is none other than Colonel Fairfax!

FAIRFAX The greatest villain unhung! The most ill-favoured, ill-mannered, ill-natured, ill-omened, ill-tempered dog in Christendom!

ELSIE It is very like. He is naught to me-- for I never saw him. I was blindfolded, and he was to have died within the hour; and he did not die-- and I am wedded to him, and my heart is broken!

FAIRFAX He was to have died, and he did not die? The scoundrel! The perjured, traitorous villain! Thou shouldst have insisted on his dying first, to make sure. 'Tis the only way with these Fairfaxes.

ELSIE I now wish I had!

FAIRFAX [aside] Bloodthirsty little maiden!

[Aloud] A fig for this Fairfax! Be mine-- he will never know-- he dares not show himself; and if he dare, what art thou to him? Fly with me, Elsie-- we will be married tomorrow, and thou shalt be the happiest wife in England!

ELSIE Master Leonard! I am amazed! Is it thus that brave soldiers speak to poor girls? Oh! for shame, for shame! I am wed-- not the less because I love not my husband. I am a wife, sir, and I have a duty, and-- oh, sir!-- thy words terrify me-- they are not honest-- they are wicked words, and unworthy thy great and brave heart! Oh,shame upon thee! shame upon thee!

FAIRFAX Nay, Elsie, I did but jest. I spake but to try thee--

[Shot heard

[Enter SERGEANT MERYLL hastily

No. 18. Hark! What was that, sir?

(SCENE) Elsie, Phoebe, Dame Carruthers, Fairfax. Wilfred, Point, Lieutenant, Sergeant

MERYLL Hark! What was that, sir?

FAIRFAX Why, an arquebus-- Fired from the wharf, unless I much mistake.

MERYLL Strange-- and at such an hour! What can it mean!

[Enter CHORUS excitedly

CHORUS Now what can that have been-- A shot so late at night, Enough to cause a fright!

What can the portent mean?

Are foemen in the land?

Is London to be wrecked?