The Clothes Have No Emperor Part 5

Caspar Weinberger explains the Pentagon's position on a "protracted" nuclear war: "We don't believe a nuclear war can be won," but "we are planning to prevail if we are attacked." The difference between winning and prevailing is not explored.

6/21/82.

John W. Hinckley Jr. is found not guilty by reason of insanity, despite the testimony of Dr. John J. Hopper Jr., the Colorado psychiatrist who was treating him during his last five months of freedom, that he had never observed any signs of mental illness in his patient, 6/25/82.

"With great regret, I have accepted the resignation of Secretary of State Al Haig. I am nominating as his successor and he has accepted George Shultz to replace him."

--President Reagan surprising Alexander Haig, whose threats to quit (three times before he was even confirmed) had become a regular feature of his tenure, but who had not actually submitted a letter of resignation 6/26/82.

John W. Hinckley Jr. makes the first of a series of phone calls to a Washington Post Washington Post reporter. He says he feels no remorse about shooting Reagan "I helped his Presidency ... After I shot him, his polls went up 20 percent" but is sorry about James Brady. "I just honestly wish I could go back before that shooting," he says, "and let him move two inches out of the way." reporter. He says he feels no remorse about shooting Reagan "I helped his Presidency ... After I shot him, his polls went up 20 percent" but is sorry about James Brady. "I just honestly wish I could go back before that shooting," he says, "and let him move two inches out of the way."

6/28/82.

Special prosecutor Leon Silverman reports that his six- month investigation of Raymond Donovan has produced "insufficient evidence to prosecute" the Labor Secretary, though he pointedly adds, "I do not use words like exoneration exoneration."

6/28/82.

The National Enquirer National Enquirer runs an interview with Cathy Evelyn Smith, the last person to see John Belushi alive, who not realizing she's talking to someone from the press reveals that she injected a "speedball" of cocaine and heroin that was the runs an interview with Cathy Evelyn Smith, the last person to see John Belushi alive, who not realizing she's talking to someone from the press reveals that she injected a "speedball" of cocaine and heroin that was the "coup de grace" "coup de grace" that killed him. Though the case had been closed, this most unfortunate indiscretion leads to her conviction for second degree murder. that killed him. Though the case had been closed, this most unfortunate indiscretion leads to her conviction for second degree murder.

6/30/82.

At his 11th press conference, President Reagan: *Says of sanctions against Argentina, "I can't give you an answer on that"

*Says of the Israeli invasion of Lebanon, "This is a question, again, where I have to beg your tolerance of me"

*Says of the mysterious departure of Alexander Haig, "Once again you ask a question upon which when I accepted his resignation I made a statement that I would have no further comments on that or take no questions on it."

6/30/82.

With only 35 states having approved it three short of ratification time runs out on the Equal Rights Amendment.

6/30/82.

"We were taking speed and drinking cold drinks. We picked up our rifles and started shooting. I don't know why we did it."

--Phillip Wayne Kelley, 19, explaining how it came to pa.s.s that he and a friend killed three strangers in rural Tennessee JULY 1982.

7/1/82.

Rev. Sun Myung Moon performs what his Unification Church calls the "largest wedding ceremony in human history" by marrying 2,075 couples most of them strangers to each other, and many with no common language at Madison Square Garden.

7/6/82.

Nancy Reagan, 61, celebrates her 59th birthday.

7/8/82.

Ailing Reagan crony Alfred Bloomingdale's 29-year-old mistress, Vicki Morgan, files a $5 million palimony suit against him after being informed that she has received the last of her monthly $18,000 checks. She claims he promised to support her for life.

7/14/82.

The Maryland Poison Control Center reports that 79 people have mistaken their free mailbox samples of the lemon-scented dishwashing liquid Sunlight for lemon juice. Says a Lever Brothers spokesman, "Any kind of cleaning product we introduce has a certain amount of ingestion."

7/15/82.

Supreme Court Justice Byron White is attacked in Salt Lake City by a large bearded man who punches him in the head while shouting, "That busing and p.o.r.nography just doesn't go!" The a.s.sailant, Newton C. Estes, explains that he went after White because he "is causing four-letter words to come in my living room through my television set. I don't know how else to get it to stop except to go direct to the source."

7/15/82.

Van Gordon Sauter, whose tenure as CBS News president has seen a distinct softening in the network's news coverage, issues an eight-page memo that, in effect, apologizes for a doc.u.mentary on Gen. William Westmoreland after a TV Guide TV Guide article charges that the "often arbitrary and unfair" broadcast was riddled with "inaccuracies, distortions and violations of journalistic standards." Lost in the media brouhaha is the key fact that the show's central premise that Westmoreland was less than forthright about enemy troop strength in Vietnam has not been seriously challenged. article charges that the "often arbitrary and unfair" broadcast was riddled with "inaccuracies, distortions and violations of journalistic standards." Lost in the media brouhaha is the key fact that the show's central premise that Westmoreland was less than forthright about enemy troop strength in Vietnam has not been seriously challenged.

7/23/82.

"Lower! Lower! Lower!"

--Director John Landis on the set of Twilight Zone The Movie Twilight Zone The Movie, ordering the descent of a helicopter that, because it has flown too low, is disabled by special effects bombs and crashes onto actor Vic Morrow and two illegally employed Vietnamese children, killing all of them in a particularly gruesome manner 7/25/82.

"Tragedy can strike in an instant, but film is immortal. Vic lives forever. Just before the last take, Vic took me aside to thank me for the opportunity to play this role."

--John Landis delivering his eulogy to Vic Morrow 7/28/82.

Vicki Morgan files a $5 million lawsuit against Betsy Bloomingdale Nancy Reagan's legendary "best friend" for cutting off her monthly checks. She explains that one of her duties with Betsy's Alfred was "to act as a therapist to help Bloomingdale overcome his Marquis de Sade complex."

7/28/82.

Caught off guard at his 12th press conference by Sarah McClendon's question about "s.e.x hara.s.sment of women" working in government, President Reagan waggles his head and says, "Now, Sarah, just a minute here with the discussion or we'll be getting an R rating." Many reporters Sarah not among them find this inane quip amusing enough to actually laugh at.

7/29/82.

Asked why he was invited to the White House dinner for Indian prime minister Indira Gandhi, Wayne Newton says, "I'm an American Indian. I guess that's a connection."

AUGUST 1982.

8/2/82.

Seeking to convey the Administration's displeasure with Israel over its attacks on Beirut, the White House points out the difference between a February 1981 photo in which President Reagan is sitting next to Israeli Foreign Minister Yitzhak Shamir and laughing, and today's photo, in which Reagan frowns at him from across a table.

8/9/82.

John W. Hinckley Jr. is committed to a mental hospital for an indefinite period by Judge Barrington D. Parker, who releases a psychiatric evaluation report showing that "he thinks daily about killing Jodie Foster."

8/11/82.

President Reagan tells Time Time's Hugh Sidey that he sometimes feels trapped in the White House. "You glance out the window and the people are walking around Pennsylvania Avenue and you say, 'I could never say I am going to run down to the drugstore and get some magazines,'" he says. "I can't do that any more."

8/12/82.

Postal Service official Jerry Jones tells Congress that mail will still be delivered "to the extent possible under the circ.u.mstances" in the event of nuclear war.

"There won't be a lot of people left to read and write those letters," observes Rep. Edward Markey (D-MA).

"But," says Jones, "those that are will get their mail."

8/17/82.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Chairman Moe of Liberia is our visitor here today, and we're very proud to have him."

--President Reagan introducing Liberian head of state Samuel Doe 8/20/82.

Alfred Bloomingdale succ.u.mbs to cancer. Observes Vicki Morgan of Betsy's decision to inter her husband before his death is announced, "She buried him like a dog."

SEPTEMBER 1982.

9/6/82.

Nearing the end of his annual Labor Day Muscular Dystrophy telethon, Jerry Lewis lashes out at those who have dared to question the purity of his motives. "Why am I a criminal?" he demands. "What we are doing here is great work ... We've only been at peace 557 days in the last 17,000 years. Had they had telethons, we'd have had peace, I'm sure. Is that idealistic? Is that old-fashioned, mid-Victorian? Is that stupid? Is that rhetoric? No! That's what I believe." The 15-minute diatribe the kind of thing telethon fans look for after Jerry's been up for 20 or so hours turns out to be the last of its kind. By next year, following his heart attack, much of the show is pre-taped to give him plenty of nap time.

9/6/82.

The Washington Post reports that of President Reagan's first 72 nominees to the judiciary, 68 are white males. reports that of President Reagan's first 72 nominees to the judiciary, 68 are white males.

9/14/82.

Defending his support of anti-abortion legislation, President Reagan says, "I think the fact that children have been prematurely born even down to the three-month stage and have lived to, the record shows, to grow up and be normal human beings, that ought to be enough for all of us." Later, aide Peter Roussel acknowledges that the record shows nothing of the kind: the youngest surviving fetus was four-and-a-half months old. (A three-month-old fetus is, at most, three-and-a-half inches long.) Was Reagan aware of this? "He knew," says Roussel, "but he said three instead of four and a half."

9/14/82.

Princess Grace of Monaco dies of injuries sustained when the car she was riding in with her 17-year-old daughter Stephanie plunged down a 45-foot embankment.

9/15/82.

The first issue of USA Today USA Today shows up in TV-shaped vending machines in Washington. News of Lebanese President-elect Bashir Gemayel's a.s.sa.s.sination appears on page nine. shows up in TV-shaped vending machines in Washington. News of Lebanese President-elect Bashir Gemayel's a.s.sa.s.sination appears on page nine.

9/16/82.

New York Times: REAGAN a.s.sERTS BLACKS WERE HURT BY PROGRAMS OF THE GREAT SOCIETY 9/22/82.

The Reader's Digest Bible a condensed version reduced by 40% from the original is published. "We weren't sure we could do it," says editor John T. Beaudoin, "but after we studied the text and found it repet.i.tive, we thought we could." a condensed version reduced by 40% from the original is published. "We weren't sure we could do it," says editor John T. Beaudoin, "but after we studied the text and found it repet.i.tive, we thought we could."

9/27/82.

A sworn deposition by Alfred Bloomingdale's ex-mistress Vicki Morgan in which she describes the Reagan friend as a "drooling" s.a.d.i.s.t with a fondness for binding and beating nude women and making them crawl on the floor is made public. Recalling her first s.e.xual encounter with him in 1970, Morgan said, "Alfred had a look in his eyes, believe me when I say this, that scared me to death."

9/28/82.

At his 13th press conference, President Reagan is asked if any of the blame for the recession is his. "Yes," he says, "because for many years I was a Democrat."

9/30/82.

Two days after President Reagan commits the Marines to an indefinite stay in Lebanon, David L. Reagan (no relation) becomes the first Marine to be killed in the conflict.

OCTOBER 1982.

10/4/82.

President Reagan suggests and not, by any means, for the first time that since he sees big help wanted sections in the Sunday papers, unemployment must be caused by a lot of lazy people who'd just rather not work.

10/4/82.

Addressing an Ohio veteran's group, President Reagan discusses plans to strengthen three military divisions in Western Europe, "two of which are in Geneva, and one, I believe, still in Switzerland."

10/4/82.

Veterans Administration chief Robert P. Nimmo recently in the news for having spent over $50,000 in government funds to redecorate his office resigns.

10/7/82.

"Somebody goofed."

--Rev. Jerry Falwell on the ma.s.sacre of Palestinian refugees in Beirut 10/8/82.

President Reagan signs a bill to boost US exports while posing on a California pier in front of a huge container ship that turns out to be full of j.a.panese imports.

10/8/82.

The unemployment rate hits 10.1%, the highest in 42 years. This does not overly concern President Reagan, who soon puts it in perspective. "Just remember," he says, "for every person who is out of work, there are nine of us with jobs."

10/9/82.

During a sound check for his weekly radio address, President Reagan jokingly refers to the Polish government as "a bunch of no-good lousy b.u.ms."

10/10/82.

The House Commerce Committee judges the Environmental Protection Agency's efforts to enforce the laws "dangerously deficient."

10/11/82.

Campaigning in Texas, President Reagan says that he recently inquired as to what the video game Pac-Man is, "and somebody told me it was a round thing that gobbles up money. I thought that was Tip O'Neill." The crowd roars.

10/11/82.

Viewers of New York's Live at Five Live at Five newscast find out who won this year's "n.o.bel Peace Prize in medicine." newscast find out who won this year's "n.o.bel Peace Prize in medicine."

10/12/82.

"You don't tell us how to stage the news, and we don't tell you how to report it."

-- White House spokesman Larry Speakes to the press 10/18/82.