The Century Handbook of Writing Part 9

5. He is threatened with tuberculosis, although he will not sleep in the open air.

6. We had hacked the bark, the tree dying after a few months.

7. One of the contestants was from Wendover College, who received the prize.

8. You ask a person what a spiral staircase is, when he will go to showing you by motions of his hand.

9. It was about three o'clock, and we decided to return home, which we did.

10. The plumber came, stopping the leak as soon as he arrived.

11. Benton sold stamps, in which business he grew rich.

12. The sun's heat beats down upon the brick tenements, which is terrible.

13. The chemist tested the purity of the water, but which he found unfit to drink.

14. Montaigne wrote an essay on "Solitude," where he pointed out the disadvantages of travel.

15. The house is set close to the edge of the bluff, overlooking a wide bend of the Alleghany River.

16. Things had been going from bad to worse among the Indians, and some Sioux were entertaining a few Chippewas, and murdered them, when the government took a hand in the affair.

17. The slight knowledge of metals and wide-awake observation of an inexperienced miner discovered gold in Arizona.

CLEARNESS OF THOUGHT

Clearness is fundamental. The writer should be content, not when his meaning may be understood, but only when his meaning cannot be misunderstood. He may attain this entire clearness by giving attention to five matters:

Reference (20-23) Coherence (24-28) Parallel Structure (30-31) Consistency (32-35) Use of Connectives (36-38)

REFERENCE

By the use of p.r.o.nouns, participles, and other dependent words, language becomes flexible and free. But each dependent part must refer without confusion to a word which is reasonably near, and properly expressed.

Ordinarily a reader expects a p.r.o.noun or a participle to refer to the nearest noun (or p.r.o.noun) or to an emphatic noun.

=Divided Reference=

=20. A p.r.o.noun should be placed near the word to which it refers, and separated from words to which it might falsely seem to refer. If this method does not secure clearness, discard the p.r.o.noun and change the sentence structure.=

Uncertain reference of _which_: He dropped the bundle in the mud which he was carrying to his mother. [The reader for a moment refers the p.r.o.noun to the wrong noun. Bring _which_ nearer to its proper antecedent _bundle_.]

Right: He dropped in the mud the bundle which he was carrying to his mother.

Vague reference of _this_: My failure in mathematics was serious. My grades in English, history, and Latin were good enough. But this brought down my average. [_This?_ What _this_?

Five nouns intrude between the p.r.o.noun _this_ and its proper antecedent _failure_.]

Right: In English, history, and Latin I received fairly good grades. But in mathematics I received a failure. This brought down my average.

Remote reference of _it_: If you want to make a good speech, take your hands out of your pockets, open your mouth wide, and throw yourself into it.

Right: If you want to make a good speech, take your hands out of your pockets, open your mouth wide, and throw yourself into what you are saying. [Or, better] Take your hands out of your pockets, open your mouth wide, and throw yourself into the speech.

Ambiguous reference of _he_: John spoke to the stranger, and he was very surly.

Right: John spoke to the stranger, who was very surly. [Or]

John spoke in a surly manner to the stranger.

Note.--The reference of relative and demonstrative p.r.o.nouns is largely dependent upon their position. The reference of a personal p.r.o.noun (_he_, _she_, _they_, etc.) is not so much dependent upon its position, the main consideration being that the antecedent shall be emphatic (See the next article.)

Exercise:

1. He was driving an old mule attached to a cart that was blind in one eye.

2. There is a grimy streak on the wall over the radiator which can be removed only with great difficulty.

3. The feet of Chinese girls were bandaged so tightly when they were babies that they could not grow.

4. He gave me a receipt for the money which he told me to keep.

5. After the pictures have been taken and the film has been removed, they are sent to the developing room where it is developed and dried.

=Weak Reference=

=21. Do not allow a p.r.o.noun to refer to a word not likely to be central in the reader's thought; a word, for example, in the possessive case, or in a parenthetical expression, or in a compound, or not expressed at all. Make the p.r.o.noun refer to an emphatic word.=

Wrong: When a poor woman came to Jane Addams' famous Hull House, she always gave help. [_Poor woman_ and _Hull House_ are the emphatic words, to which any p.r.o.noun used later is instinctively referred by the reader.]

Right: When a poor woman came to Jane Addams' famous Hull House, she always received help. [Or] When a poor woman came to Hull House, Jane Addams always gave help.

Wrong: In biology, which is the study of plants and animals we find that they are made up of unitary structures called cells.

[Since the words _plants and animals_ occur only in a parenthetical clause, the reader is surprised to find them used as an antecedent.]

Right: In the study of biology we find that plants and animals are made up of unitary structures called cells.

Wrong: This old scissors-grinder sharpens them for the whole neighborhood. [The center of interest in the reader's mind is a man, not scissors.]

Right: This old scissors-grinder sharpens scissors for the whole neighborhood.

Wrong: I always liked engineers, and I have chosen that as my profession.

Right: I always liked engineering, and I have chosen it as my profession.