The Century Handbook of Writing Part 10

Absurd: When the baby is through drinking milk, it should be disconnected and put in boiling water. [The central idea in the reader's mind is _baby_, not _milk-bottle_. The writer may have been thinking about the _bottle_, but he did not make the word emphatic; in fact, he did not express it at all.]

Right: When the baby is through drinking milk, the bottle should be taken apart and put in boiling water.

Note.--Ordinarily, do not refer to the t.i.tle in the first line of a theme. The reader expects you to a.s.sert something, and face forward, not to turn back to what you have said in the t.i.tle.

Faulty: Color Photography

I am interested in this new development of science. For a long time I ...

Right: Color Photography

Taking pictures in color has long appealed to me as an interesting possibility ...

Exercise:

1. In Shakespeare's play _Oth.e.l.lo_ he makes Iago a fiend.

2. The noodle-cutter is a kitchen device which saves time in making this troublesome dish.

3. The life of a forester is interesting, and I intend to follow that profession.

4. He took down his great-grandfather's old sword, who had carried it at Bunker Hill.

5. I was always making experiments in science, and I naturally acquired a liking for periodicals of that nature.

=Broad Reference=

=22. Do not use a p.r.o.noun to refer broadly to a general idea. Supply a definite antecedent or abandon the p.r.o.noun.=

Wrong: The tapper strikes the gong, which continues as long as the push b.u.t.ton is pressed. [The writer intends that _which_ shall refer to the entire preceding clause, but the reference is intercepted by the word _gong_.]

Right [supplying a definite antecedent]: The tapper strikes the gong, a process which continues as long as the push b.u.t.ton is pressed. [Or, abandoning the p.r.o.noun] The tapper strikes the gong as long as the push b.u.t.ton is pressed.

Wrong: Read the directions which are printed on the bottle and it may save you from making a mistake.

Right [supplying a definite antecedent]: Read the directions which are printed on the bottle. This precaution may save you from making a mistake. [Or, abandoning the p.r.o.noun] Reading the directions on the bottle may prevent a mistake.

Wrong: The managers told him they would increase his salary if he would represent them in South America. He refused that.

Right: The managers told him they would increase his salary if he would represent them in South America. He refused the offer.

Exception.--It cannot be maintained that a p.r.o.noun must _always_ have one definite word for its antecedent. Many of the best English authors occasionally use a p.r.o.noun to refer to a clause. But the reference must always be clear.

Note.--Impersonal constructions must be used with caution. "It is raining" is correct, although _it_ has no antecedent. We desire that the antecedent shall be vague, impersonal. But unnecessary use of the indefinite _it_, _you_, or _they_ should be avoided.

Faulty: It says in our history that Columbus was an Italian.

Right: Our history says that Columbus was an Italian.

Not complimentary to the reader: You aren't hanged nowadays for stealing.

Right: No one is hanged nowadays for stealing.

Faulty: They are noted for their tact in France.

Right: The French are noted for their tact.

Exercise:

1. You use little slang in your paper which is commendable.

2. They had no reinforcements which caused them to lose the battle.

3. The carbon must be removed from pig iron to make pure steel, and that is done by terrific heat.

4. Our stenographer spends most of her spare time at a cheap movie theater, which is in itself an index of her character.

5. It says in the new rules that you aren't allowed in the building on Sunday.

=Dangling Participle or Gerund=

=23. A participle, being dependent, must refer to a noun or p.r.o.noun. The noun or p.r.o.noun should be within the sentence which contains the participle, and should be so conspicuous that the participle will be a.s.sociated with it instantly and without confusion.=

Wrong: Coming in on the train, the high school building is seen. [Is the building coming in? If not, who is?]

Right: Coming in on the train, one sees the high school building.

A sentence containing a dangling participle may be corrected (1) by giving the word to which the participle refers a conspicuous position in the sentence, or (2) by replacing the participial phrase by some other construction.

Wrong: Having taken our seats, the umpire announced the batteries.

Right: Having taken our seats, we heard the umpire announce the batteries. [Or] When we had taken our seats, the umpire announced the batteries.

Wrong: She was for a long time sick, caused by overwork. [The participle _caused_ should not modify _sick_. A participle is used as an adjective, and should therefore modify a noun.]

Right--using an adjectival modifier:

She had a long sickness, {caused by} overwork.

{due to }

Right--using an adverbial modifier:

{because of } She was for a long time sick {owing to } overwork.

{on account of}

=When a gerund phrase (_in pa.s.sing_, _while speaking_ etc.) implies the action of a special agent, indicate what the agent is. Otherwise the phrase will be dangling.=