The American Credo - novelonlinefull.com
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--77
That a Sunday School superintendent is always carrying on an intrigue with one of the girls in the choir.
--78
That it is one of the marks of a gentleman that he never speaks evil of a woman.
--79
That a member of the Masons cannot be hanged.
--80
That a policeman can eat _gratis_ as much fruit and as many peanuts off the street-corner stands as he wants.
--81
That the real President of the United States is J. P. Morgan.
--82
That onion breath may be promptly removed by drinking a little milk.
--83
That onion breath may be promptly removed by eating a little parsley.
--84
That Catholic priests conduct their private conversations in Latin.
--85
That John Drew is a great society man.
--86
That all Swedes are stupid fellows, and have very thick skulls.
--87
That all the posthumously printed stories of David Graham Phillips and Jack London have been written by hacks hired by the magazine editors and publishers.
--88
That a man like Charles Schwab, who has made a great success of the steel business, could in the same way easily have become a great composer like Bach or Mozart had he been minded thus to devote his talents.
--89
That the man who doesn't hop promptly to his feet when the orchestra plays "The Star Spangled Banner" as an overture to Hurtig and Seamon's "Hurly-Burly Girlies" must have either rheumatism or pro-German sympathies.
--90
That every workman in Henry Ford's factory owns a pretty house in the suburbs and has a rose-garden in the back-yard.
--91
That all circus people are very pure and lead domestic lives.
--92
That if a spark hits a celluloid collar, the collar will explode.
--93
That when a bachelor who has hated children for twenty years gets married and discovers he is about to become a father, he is delighted.
--94
That drinking three drinks of whiskey a day will prevent pneumonia.
--95
That every negro who went to France with the army had a liaison with a white woman and won't look at a n.i.g.g.e.r wench any more.
--96
That all Russians have unp.r.o.nounceable names.
