Switching Gears Part 10

I swear my whole body blushes. Im such an idiot. I didnt mean"

He scoots a little closer so our legs touch, which makes me all kinds of nervous. What if I am?

I stare at him. Am what?

Interested in you. He lets it linger in the air for a moment and I cant look away from him. His eyes slide over my features and I shiver. Normally a guy would give up on a girl who tried to insult them every time they were around, but not me. I know theres more to you than that. I watched you last year. And not in a creepy way, I swear. Ive just noticed things. Youre loyal to your friends. You care about people you love, more than you care about yourself. When I first met you, you were very friendly and welcomed me into your group even though you didnt know me at all. I havent forgotten that. He smiles and then his face grows serious and he frowns. But then I took captain from you and something changed. And Im sorry. I made you hate me before you even got to know me.

I want to tell him its not all his fault. Maybe a tiny bit, but when Lucas told me his cancer was back, that did it. It changed my outlook on everything. It changed me. It wasnt you, I whisper.

Then what was it?

I dont want to talk about Lucas right now, so all I do is shake my head and play with the ring around my finger.

Its because of that boy, right? The one who died a few months ago.

My heart feels like it might stop as the breath whooshes from my lungs. I dont answer, just keep twisting my ring around my finger.

I didnt know him, but I heard he was a good guy. Were you two close?

I bite my lip and give a slight nod. Yes.

Im sorry.

I shrug. I dont know what else to do.

He folds his arms and stares into the parking lot with me. Voices echo from the bowling alley. People laugh, bowling b.a.l.l.s crash into pins. Its so loud in there. Chaotic. Its just as chaotic in my head.

So I was wondering something.

I jump as his voice pulls me out of my stare. Okay. Hopefully he changes the subject.

What are you doing Friday night?

I lean away from him as my eyes grow wide. Cole, dont.

Why not?

I you have a girlfriend.

Last time I checked, I didnt.

What about Whitney?

What about her?

She likes you.

So? I dont like her. Like that anyway.

You two had a fling or something, though.

I wouldnt call it a fling. She was nice to me. And I could tell she kind of liked me. When youre new to a school and dont know anyone, you attach yourself to the people who accept you. After hanging out with her a few times, I realized she wasnt my type.

I bite my lip. What about the other girls?

What other girls?

I laugh. People talk. Im not going to be like every other girl at our school.

His eyes narrow and he clenches his jaw. You believe everything you hear?

Ever since you came here, all Ive heard are rumors. Who youve been with, and whatever else you like to do.

Been where with?

I sneak a look at him and hes grinning. You know what I mean.

He laughs. Loud. Thats pretty funny. And the keyword for tonight? Rumors. Not truths. Just because Im nice to people doesnt mean Im some player who sleeps with every girl he meets.

There wouldnt be any rumors if you didnt.

He smiles. Everyone has baggage, Emmy. Even you, Im sure. And rumors dont do anyone any favors.

Do truths?

He shrugs. Depends on the truth.

Tell me a truth then, I challenge. So I know what to really believe.

Why should I?

Because apparently all I know are rumors.

He studies me for a long time before leaning in and tugging on a strand of my hair. I kind of like it that way. He lets go and leans back again, still watching me.

I let out a frustrated breath. What is the point of this conversation then?

Does there have to be a point to every conversation?

I glare at him. Same old Cole. I do have an opinion of him. Jerk.

But now Im curious. Curious to what truth hes hiding from me. From everyone. I look over at him to find his eyes on me. Challenging me.

The thing is, I dont have a clue what to say.

Youre tongue-tied. That doesnt happen very often, does it? He smiles, his face inching toward mine.

Uh Hes right. I am. I blink once. Twice. What am I doing? Whats wrong with me? I hate the fact that Im letting my guard down around Cole, but its totally happening. And Im terrified.

Emmy?

I shoot to my feet as Kelsie comes outside. Hey. I tuck my hair behind my ear and step away from where Coles still sitting.

You okay?

Yes. Just talking.

She gives us both a strange look and I swear shes trying not to smile. Okay. Ill go back inside then.

No! I dont mean to shout, but I do anyway. I give Cole a nervous look, but all he does is smile. Its more than a smile, though. Like borderline laughing. Um Im ready to go.

Now?

Now. I uh need to get home. My mom was on the phone and needs me.

She gives me the I know youre lying, but Ill listen to you anyway look. Okay. You might want to go return your bowling shoes before we leave. I dont want you to go all klepto on me.

I slip them off my feet and start to walk inside, but she grabs them from my hands. Ill grab your shoes. Be back in a sec.

She goes back inside, leaving me alone with Cole again.

So, everythings not okay. If youre leaving so soon, he says.

I bite my lip.

If you ever want to talk, let me know.

I turn to look at him and he looks so concerned. He takes a step closer and reaches for my hand. It takes all I have in me not to pull away.

Im fine.

You dont look fine. I know for a fact you were crying out here earlier.

Curse my blotchy face. Its not a big deal.

It obviously is.

Why wont you let this go?

Maybe I want to help.

My temper picks up again and I pull my hand away from him. Maybe you should learn to mind your own business.

He takes a step closer, a frown on his face. Maybe you should learn how to be nice to people who care about you.

The only person who cares about me is Kelsie.

Maybe because youre rude to everyone else who tries to care.

I am not.

Prove it then.

I fold my arms and back away from him. Just leave me alone.

He stares at me for a second, his eyes so serious, and opens his mouth to say something else when Kelsie walks back outside.

You ready? She hands me my shoes.

I nod and slip them on. I feel Coles eyes on me as I shrug off his jacket and hand it back to him. Thanks. For inviting us tonight. Sorry you wasted your money on me. I meet his hazel eyes for a second and look away.

Money well spent.

I look up and meet his gaze once more. His stare is kind of intense and I have to tell myself to keep breathing. Im still mad at him. Mad at how he makes me feel. Confused.

Well have to do this again, Kelsie says.

He breaks eye contact and smiles at her. For sure. And maybe you wont even have to drag her here next time.

She puts an arm around my shoulders. I hope not.

Well see you two later then. He rocks back on his heels and shoves his hands in his pockets.

You, too. Kelsie turns me around and walks me to the car.

Bye, Emmy.

Bye.

My stomach does a flip and I link my arm through Kelsies.

Youre blushing, she says.

I crack a smile. Shut up.

CHAPTER 11.

The ride home is quiet. I lean my head against Kelsies window, thinking about my conversation with Cole, then thinking about Moms phone call. She called me, right? I pull out my phone and make sure. Yes. She called me. Her symptoms cant be bad already, can they? I swear Dad said she was on medication that would help her.

I should ask him. I should talk to her. Ask questions.

But I cant. Not yet. People her age dont get Alzheimers disease. Its for old people. Not for mothers with teenage daughters. It has to be a mistake.