Sweet Contradiction Part 5

e arrived at the Peterson barn along with several other truckloads of people ready and raring for a good time. Matt helped me out of the truck and Hunter helped Jen out. The guys looked great. Matt wore jeans and boots that would make any country girl beg to cool her boots under his bed. Jen's face had been priceless when she caught a glimpse of Hunter when he came to pick us up. He'd dressed in black jeans, a little baggier than what was "in" for a country boy, a black, Johnny Cash, Man in Black tee that was plenty tight enough to highlight ripped abs and very muscular arms. They also showed of a tattoo of a rose on his bicep that was squeezed by thorns until red drops of blood fell from it. The initials A.C. and H. W. were on either side of the rose.

We could hear the strains of country music filtering out from the huge barn, and from the sound of it, the place was going to be packed. People were still driving up too. My stomach dropped a little, I wasn't too sure how much I wanted to run in some of the people I'd gone to school with.

"Tell me again why we can't have a little taste of this?" Matt pulled at the lid of the ca.s.serole dish he was carrying and I smacked his hand lightly.

"Because I plan on winning a blue ribbon for that triple berry crumble and I doubt the judges would look too kindly on large spoonsful being missing from it. Matt groaned again making me laugh.

"Beth, put the poor guy out of his misery," Jen chided. I rolled my eyes and placed my arm through Matt's.

"I may or may not have put a second berry crumble away to share later with everyone." Matt's eyes glinted dangerously.

"Elizabeth Michaels, you might have just earned yourself a smack on the behind."

"Promises, promises," I murmured.

"Oh, gag. Get a room, guys." Jen stuck a finger in her mouth and Hunter grumbled his agreement.

"But it's so much more fun when you do it outdoors," I quipped. I slapped a hand over my mouth just as Hunter broke out in a fit of bellowing laughs. Jen just stood there with her mouth hanging open, glancing between me and a beet red Matt, who was trying his very best to become one with the surrounding darkness. Jen gulped.

"Well, then, I'll have to remember that," Jen tossed over her shoulder as she began walking toward the barn again. Hunter's laughter cut off as instantly as it had begun. His eyes darkened as he watched Jen saunter away. We caught up with Jen just outside the barn doors. People were pouring in and out and it seemed like the entire town had turned out for the shindig. I swallowed back the sliver of fear that had snaked its way into my chest and followed everyone inside.

Rock my World had my foot tapping before we ever made it over to the long table that ran down the length of a wall on the far side of the barn. I saw at least two dozen pies, cakes and other baked items sitting out on the table. I placed mine on it and received my number from an elderly woman who was about a foot shorter than me. When she spoke, though, she seemed about a foot taller than anyone else in the room. I was pretty sure she had been an army general in another life. Jen drug me away from the table so I wouldn't evil eye all the compet.i.tion.

Matt laced his fingers through mine and pulled me across the room when he spotted Pastor and Mrs. Wright talking and laughing with a large group. As we pa.s.sed by a group of young women, I noticed several of them turned my way, a couple to openly stare to see who the new girl was, I a.s.sumed. But, one young woman with short, blond hair, big blue eyes, and a perfect body stopped to stare at me with contempt and hate in her eyes. I blinked in astonishment. What had I done to her? I wracked my brain trying to think of who she might be, but came up empty handed. When we reached the Wrights all thoughts of the girl flew out of my head.

"Beth, I'd love for you to meet a couple people."

"Mrs. Wright, it's good to see you again," I answered. Mrs. Wright smiled widely at me and took my hand in hers.

"Please call me Anne, I don't want to feel any older than I already do," she reprimanded. I smiled and nodded my head. "Marge, Tilly, this is Matt's girlfriend, Beth." I blushed furiously, feeling like a fifth grader being introduced as Matt's girlfriend. But it was true, wasn't it? Things just seemed to be progressing so quickly that they sometimes took my breath away. Pastor Wright took his wife's hand and tucked it under his arm.

"Anne, you're monopolizing your son's beautiful date." My mouth fell open to deny it, but he cut me off with a wink. "Besides, I want to take my beautiful date out on the floor for a dance. Ladies, please excuse us." The women all t.i.ttered and sighed as he led his starry eyed wife onto the dance floor just as one of the most beautiful songs ever written began to play.

"Will you dance with me, sweetheart?" Matt's whisper stirred the hairs around my ear, his breath tickling the fine hairs at the nape of my neck. I nodded as Matt took my hand to lead me onto the dance floor. The words of the song swept over me, the words finally meaning so much more to me than just being nice lyrics sung by a pretty voice.

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart Without saying a word, you can light up the dark Try as I may, I could never explain What I hear when you don't say a thing The smile on your face lets me know that you need me There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall You say it best when you say nothing at all Both of Matt's hands rested on my lower back and mine were wound around his neck. I put my head on his shoulder and just enjoyed the song and the warmth of his body. When the song ended, he kissed me sweetly on the lips and a flame ignited in the depths of my stomach. I threaded my hand through his hair and tugged gently.

"I could dance like this all night," I whispered huskily. The song changed abruptly and a crowd of people rushed the floor to get ready for a line dance. Matt turned as if to leave, but I pulled him back to me. His eyes widened and then he chuckled.

"Good lord, woman. You're gonna make me line dance, aren't you?" He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced around for an escape.

"You bet your hot little behind I am." I swatted his backside for extra encouragement and everyone around us chuckled at his affronted look.

"Looks like you got your hands full with that one, Matt!" Someone shouted from the crowd. I grinned in their general direction.

"As long as it's my hands that are around her, I ain't got a problem with that!" Matt shouted back. Everyone guffawed just as the music began. I had to hand it to Matt, he was good at doing the boot scootin' boogie. We heel, toed, and dosey doed with the best of *em. Our boots were stomping, our hearts pumping, and we laughed the entire time. I pointedly ignored all the women oogling my man. He was mine after all. By the time we'd finished the dance, I was hot, sweaty, and ready for some food.

Once we piled our plates with barbeque, corn on the cob, potato salad and homemade macaroni and cheese, we made our way outside in the cool night air to see if we could find a picnic table to sit at to eat. I started searching for Jen and Hunter as soon as we made it through the crowded barn. I spotted Jen waving from a picnic table under a large tree. When we got to the table, I immediately noticed the tension crackling between Jen and Hunter. Hunter was hunched over his plate, shoveling food into his mouth, his body rigid and angled away from Jen. Jen was picking at her food, her jaw clenched and her eyes frosted with enough ice to freeze a man in his steps. We sat in awkward silence for the majority of our dinner. I cleared my throat and widened my eyes as I nodded my head in Hunter's direction, hoping Matt could draw them into conversation.

"This barbeque is fantastic." Matt glanced around nervously and then took another bite of his food. I groaned inwardly. Hunter grunted and Jen just kept staring at her plate.

"The ice tea is pretty refreshing too," I added, sarcastically as I wiggled uncomfortably in my chair. Jen sighed and then stood, gathering her plate as she got up. I jumped up to go with her to throw away our trash. I put a hand on Matt's shoulder. "I'll meet up with you a bit later." He nodded.

"Jen?" I caught up with her just as she threw her trash forcibly into a can. "Hey, you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine," she snapped. I blinked and then threw my garbage in the can. Jen didn't usually get this angry over anything. Must be bad.

"Awe, I'm sorry, Beth," Jen groaned. "It's just ... Hunter makes me crazy sometimes." She threw her arms up in the air and I just stood there for several seconds trying to absorb the fact that Jen was ranting and raving over ... a guy. "He's an overbearing, egotistical, jacka.s.s. Half the time I want to strangle him with my bare hands and the other half I want to ...." Her mouth formed a thin line and heat rushed to her cheeks.

"The other half you want to what?" I asked, my grin breaking through and messing up my concerned look. Jen poked my arm.

"You know what I mean. Ugh." I smiled as I hooked my arm through hers.

"I do know what you mean." I pulled her along through the front doors. "Should we go out there and show Hunter what he's missing?" She glanced over at the hopping dance floor and an evil little grin appeared on her face. My own smile slipped just a little.

"You just read my mind," she said softly. Jen didn't hold back, she pulled out all her dance tricks and there wasn't a guy who was single in the whole building who hadn't either danced with her or had asked her to dance in the next hour. She let the music carry away all her fears and worries just for an entire sixty minutes. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair a little wild about her shoulders by the time a slow song came on and a shadow fell over us both. Jens stiffened without even looking behind us. I turned to see who it was and was a little surprised to see Hunter hovering close to us like a large, demon thundercloud. He looked ready to explode and I immediately put myself between him and Jen. His eyes narrowed dangerously as he spoke.

"I think it's my turn now," he snarled. My hackles rose and I stood up to my full height, which was an inch taller than Jen, but still a few inches shorter than Hunter.

"It's okay, Beth. I'll dance with him." Jen moved around me and her eyes flashed as she spoke. Hunter extended his hand and she hesitantly placed hers in his. I heard a tiny gasp as her pulled her gently into his arms. I only waited another second before leaving the dance floor, Hunter wasn't dangerous ... he was just intense. I wasn't sure if intense was what Jen needed right then though. I headed over to the refreshment table to grab an ice tea.

With my tea in hand, I began searching the crowd for Matt. When I didn't see him, I decided to go to the restroom real quick before Jen and Hunter were done dancing. The judges were about to announce the winners of the baking contest, so I needed to hurry it up. Amazingly enough, the bathrooms were relatively empty, so I was in and out fairly quickly. I was walking back to the main room in the barn when I heard someone say my name. I stopped in my tracks and leaned my head to the side, thinking maybe I'd just heard incorrectly.

"She graduated the year Beau Montgomery did. He said she was a liar who'd slept with almost anyone she could when she was in high school. Said she left town so her parents couldn't keep her from whoring around as much as she wanted." I stepped back until my back was against the wall. My heart was pounding and I think I was more in shock over the fact that people still gossiped about me like I was in high school than what they were actually saying. Must have boring lives, I thought.

"I don't really care who Beth Michaels is. All I know is she isn't good enough for Matthew. He deserves someone so much better than her." People began muttering their agreement and a knot formed in my stomach. "I mean, what will people think if he goes and marries her? How will it look when he eventually takes over his daddy's ministry?" A cold sweat popped out on my brow. Matt planned to take over for his dad one day? Why hadn't he told me? I bit my lip. I knew the answer, I just wished I didn't. He didn't tell me, because he knew I'd have freaked out, maybe even not seen him anymore. I wasn't the right kind of person to be a minister's wife. I wasn't even sure I believed in a G.o.d at all. My ears were ringing when the truth of my situation hit me. I was going to drag Matt down. He was so strong, so sure of everything he believed, and he deserved someone who was his equal in all things, including faith. I clasped a hand over my chest, trying to shield it from the shooting pain.

"You guys were perfect together. I couldn't believe it when you guys broke your engagement off." I slapped a hand over my mouth before my gasp could escape. I knew without seeing the people around the corner that the girl who had been engaged to Matt was the pretty blonde who looked daggers at me when I first got to the dance, and Matt had been engaged to her. I took a deep breath and willed away the stupid tears that threatened. I wonder when he would have told me that he had been engaged. Definitely not last night when he'd told me I was only woman he'd ever wanted to sleep under a starry night sky with.

I turned and slowly made my way around to the front of the barn from a different direction. When I made it back inside, they were announcing the winners of the baking contest, but I could barely hear what was being said through all the thoughts rushing like an angry river through my mind. I ended up winning a second place ribbon and had to be called four times before I snapped out of my daze by someone tapping me on the shoulder. I smiled and accepted the ribbon graciously. Jen clapped entirely too loudly and Hunter and Matt whistled loudly with their fingers. First place went to a lady I knew from when I was younger. She was ancient back then, but there was no doubt that her better-than-s.e.x cake was the moistest cake I'd ever eaten in my entire life. And if an eighty year old lady didn't blink at the name of her cake, well, I had to respect that.

"Congrats, Beth!" Jen hugged me around my neck. Her mood seemed to have improved a bunch. "I'm so glad you didn't decide to thrown down with Widow Carson over that first place ribbon," Jen joked. I smiled and handed her my ribbon.

"I have a headache. Can you take me home?" I asked Matt. I could barely look him in the eye. Jen and Hunter exchanged a look.

"Sure, if that's what you want," Matt said carefully.

"It is." I glanced over at Jen and hoped I hadn't ruined any of her plans. "Are you ready? I don't want to ruin the night for anyone." Jen shook her head quickly. "No, it's alright. I'm ready to go, especially if you're not feeling well." I nodded my head lightly. I wasn't lying, my head had begun to pound as soon as I'd left the group I'd heard talking after I went to the bathroom. The pain just hadn't caught up with me until that moment.

Matt put a hand on my arm as we walked out of the barn. "You okay?" he asked. I shrugged his hand off gently and nodded again. I couldn't let him touch me, not as raw as my wounds were, as confused as I felt. I needed him too much already--wanted him too much. Matt stuffed his hand into his pocket and looked at the road in front of us with a frown between his brows as we walked to the truck in the darkness and silence.

When we pulled up to the house, Matt leaned over to me, I turned my face slightly and let his kiss fall softly on my cheek. I pushed the door open and waited for Jen to get out before making my way up the sidewalk to the house. Jen unlocked the door and flipped on the inside and porch light. I took a step just as Matt called out to me.

"Beth?" I stiffened and shut the door in front of me before I turned around to face him. He stood a foot in front of me and it took an insane amount of control to raise my head and meet his gaze. His eyes said everything I thought they would. He looked confused, hurt, angry, but above all, worried about me. I sighed and leaned back against the door.

"We can talk later about everything. I do have a horrible headache and Jen and I have somewhere really important to be tomorrow. But, after that, we will talk, I promise," I said wearily. Matt's jaw clenched and his eyes flashed.

"Don't run. Don't give up on us. Not before we talk whatever this is through." I turned my head away. His fingers grasped my chin firmly in his hand and tiled my head back until my eyes met his once again. "Promise me," he breathed. I tried to move my head, but he had my chin prisoner and wouldn't relent. "Promise me, Beth." His eyes flashed again. I swallowed and nervously licked my lips. His mouth met mine long enough to press a tender kiss against them. It was almost my undoing. It was only by a thread that I held myself immobile and didn't launch myself into his arms.

"I promise."

I whispered the lie easily enough against his lips before turning and walking into the house, leaving my heart on the other side of the door with him.

ou think of all these wonderful things to say, rehea.r.s.e them even, when you or someone you know is about to go through something difficult. You want to say all the right things, be the person who has some tidbit of inspirational wisdom, but instead the words lodge in your throat and your fears threaten to choke you. As I sat in the waiting room with Jen, I felt all this and so much more. I needed to be strong for her, to be the one who wouldn't crack under the pressure and shatter beneath the pain and panic. I didn't feel strong though, I felt dread down to my very existence and the only thing that kept me together was knowing I was the only one there for her, the only one she had to lean on, and by G.o.d, I wouldn't let her down.

I remembered going to these visits once or twice with Jen and her mom when she would go in to see if her cancer was still in check, to make sure it hadn't gotten any worse. She got good news almost every time she went, but the one time she didn't, it was devastating. With Jen it was different. She was the one person in the world who had loved me unconditionally since I was a child, the one person I cared about more than anything. She was going to go in, get the biopsy, and in a few days we'd get the good news. That was the only way this would turn out. The only way G.o.d could allow it to turn out.

"Jennifer Collins?" A lady in light pink scrubs came out with a clip board in her hand. Jen stood and wiped her hand on her jeans. I stood as well, my heart tripling its already frantic rhythm. Jen's hand slipped into mine as we stepped forward. "Only family can come back," the nurse said. Jen's hand tightened in mine and she straightened her shoulders.

"She's my sister."

I waited for the nurse to call us on our little fib, but she just smiled softly, her eyes alight with understanding and pity. She bobbed her head.

"Alright then, follow me." Jen and I followed her back, both of us wishing we could run back out the front doors instead.

"Everything's going to be okay," I whispered over and over again to myself.

Jen was up stairs resting when I heard a soft knock on the front door. I turned the water off, put the gla.s.s I was watching in the dish drainer, and dried my hands off on the hand towel hanging from the loop on my jeans before going to answer it. When I pulled the white lace curtains back from the gla.s.s door, I found Matt standing at the door with his hands in his pockets, staring at his feet. I let the curtains fall shut and rested my forehead on the wooden door frame before my nerves were settled enough to open it.

"Hey," I murmured as I stepped out onto the porch. Matt's eyes met mine.

"Hey yourself," he replied.

"Want to sit out here and talk?" I asked. Matt nodded. I walked over to the old fashioned porch swing and sat down, tucking my leg underneath me. Matt sat down next to me.

"How's Jen?" Matt asked gently. My brows shot up and my eyes widened.

"How did you find out?"

"My dad had some business in Jasper and happened to see you guys leaving Jen's car in front of the clinic." He shrugged apologetically. Figures. There's never such a thing as privacy when you live in a backwater town like Salem. I should have never forgotten that.

"She's sleeping right now. More emotionally drained than anything else," I answered. "She doesn't want anyone knowing." I said quickly. Matt placed a hand on my knee.

"I wouldn't tell anyone, I just wanted to check on her ... and on you," he said gently. I stiffened under his touch and his nostrils flared slightly. He took his hand off my leg and rubbed it roughly over his face. Matt sighed wearily and leaned back in the swing.

"What's this?" he asked, his hand waving between the two of us. "What's going on with you? What happened last night to make you freak out?"

"I'm not freaking out ... I just realized a few things," I answered without meeting his eyes.

"Like what?" His eyes pierced me to my seat and I resisted the urge to wiggle uncomfortably under the scrutiny.

"How much we really don't know about each other for one. How different our upbringings were and what that could mean for our future for another." I twisted the edge of the towel in my lap as I spoke.

"What would you like to know, Beth?" His voice gritted out the words. "Whatever you want to know, just ask. I don't have any secrets. Just don't shut me out." His eyes captured mine and they begged me not to act rashly, to give our relationship a true chance. But the truth was simple ... I was scared.

"Were you engaged before?" I asked. Matt's eyes never wavered from mine, but his mouth tightened into a straight line and his jaw clenched.

"Who told you about LeighAnn?" he asked. LeighAnn. So, the ex-fiance had a name and didn't it just suit her perky little demeanor perfectly.

"Who told me really isn't the point, is it?" I asked with a huff. Matt ran his hand through his hair, causing it to stand up even more wildly than had been before. I almost smiled at the sight.

"No, I guess it isn't," Matt replied. "I was engaged to LeighAnn for almost a year before I called the engagement off." His voice was low and steady, but I knew I'd hit a sore spot. He didn't like to talk about her. "We got engaged right out of high school. I was young and stupid and it took me a year to figure out how wrong we were together."

"What made you wrong for each other?" I probed. I really felt like I needed to know. Matt's eyes glanced over at a bird that had landed on a birdfeeder a few feet away from the porch as he spoke.

"Nothing," he murmured. I blinked several times, wondering if he'd misspoken. He smiled wryly and glanced over at me out of the side of his eye. "Weren't expecting that answer, were you?" he chuckled and then turned his eyes back to the birdfeeder before continuing. "Everything seemed perfect. She liked the things I liked, she had the same friends I did, she went to the same church I went to, had the same faith I did, and had the same goals in life that I did." My face grew hot and my heart had begun to ache half way through his speech. I focused on the birdfeeder too, gritting my teeth so hard I thought they might crack under the pressure. I had asked after all. Matt chuckled under his breath again.

"It took me a long time to see through all those ... things." I watched the muscle in his jaw as he spoke. "To see past the stuff we had in common and to finally notice all of what we were missing." He sighed deeply.

"What were you missing?" I asked, half afraid to hear the answer.

"Pa.s.sion. A deep, abiding kind of love, the ability to talk about any little thing as if it were the most important thing on earth, or even to sit with each other in absolute silence and yet in absolute communion." His face turned toward me and his gaze captured mine. "Sharing interests and faith isn't the most important thing to me, Beth. But, a sharing of souls, like you and I do? That's something I've never had before and I'll do everything in my ability to strengthen that bond." His hand clasped mine and he rubbed his thumb gently back and forth over my knuckles. "I just hope you feel the same way." He place a kiss on the edge of my mouth and my eyes fluttered closed. His scent enveloped me and I melted into his embrace, allowing him to kiss away all the fears, if but for a moment. Matt pulled back, his eyes glazed with pa.s.sion and love. I smiled softly and sighed as I laid my head on his shoulder as we leaned back into the swing.

"We come from such different places in life, Matt. If you met my parents, you'd understand." I closed my eyes. "I just don't know if I can be the woman you need and the woman you deserve in your life," I whispered.

"I don't need you to be anyone other than the amazing woman you are," he said roughly into my hair. Until you take over your dad's church, I thought crossly.

"So, let's do it." My eyes cracked open. What? What had I missed? What were we doing? I leaned back and met Matt's evil twin grin.

"Um, do what now?" I asked carefully.

"Meet your parents," he answered joyfully. I nearly catapulted off the swing.

"Why would we do that?" I shrieked like a cat, who's tail had just been stepped on. Matt only grinned broader.

"I think it will help you see that you can't scare me away, not even with your insane father, who I'd like to give a good, old-fashioned, beating to for hurting you for so many years." I swallowed and sat back down gingerly on the swing. "Besides, would you like to go to see them for the first time in over four years alone, or with a little backup?" I chewed on my bottom lip, thinking over his crazy proposition. If he did go, I wouldn't be alone and just maybe I'd be able to get through the visit without murdering one of my parents. And on top of that, he'd get to see firsthand where the woman he was in a relationship came from, so if he wanted to bail, it would definitely be after said visit.

"Alright," I groused.

"Really?" Matt asked with disbelief coloring his voice.

"Yeah. Tomorrow night," I grumbled. "Rip the band aide off and get it over with type of thing." Matt's chest rumbled as he laughed.

"It'll be okay. I'll be there with you, sweetheart." He pulled me back into his arms and we both sat there watching the birds fight over the bird seeds for another hour before he kissed me goodbye.

"Oh, wait! I can't leave Jen by herself tomorrow night. Maybe we should put this off a few days," I said, trying not to sound too hopeful. Matt clucked his tongue and smiled over his shoulder as he walked down the pathway.

"I'll take care of it, don't worry, and stop trying to come up with ways to get out of it." I crossed my arms over my chest watched as Matt grinned wickedly before getting into his truck. I went inside to let Jen know that I'd lost my ever lovin' mind.

She only laughed.

'll get it," Jen shouted from the living room as the doorbell rang out. I sprinted to get there first, but she was swinging the door open before I could make it. I grimaced. I hadn't been able to prepare her for what I thought Matt have had up his sleeve. "What are you doing here?" Jen asked a little caustically.

"Well, h.e.l.lo to you too sunshine," Hunter snapped as he walked through the front door. "Nice pajama bottoms." He grinned and raised a brow at her sugar daddy pajama shorts and red tank top. Jen crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Hunter and Matt. Matt shrugged and gave me an apologetic smile.

"What's going on?" Jen asked, her ponytail bouncing while her foot tapped. Hunter held out the box he'd carried in and then his trademark not-a-care-in-the-world smirk showed up.

"I'm hanging out with you tonight." He sat the box down on the table near the couch.