Snapdragon: Tiny Threads Part 22

I understood the appeal of boys like Austin. I'd been in her shoes, and although I had no regrets about my life with Royal, I knew we'd been the exception. Not everyone falls in love forever at sixteen, and not all boys stuck around when a girl got pregnant.

She had dreams, different dreams than I had at her age. She had a future ahead of her and the direction my life took was not the right one for her. It'd destroy her.

And her father.

"Baby, take deep breaths," I whispered, kneeling in front of him between his knees.

I looked down at his knuckles and shook my head. "You're bleeding."

"I know," he said slowly. "I didn't hit him. I knew if I hit him, I wouldn't stop. I wanted to-I wanted to f.u.c.k him up."

"I know," I sighed. "Royal, you can't flip out like that. Your relationship with Macy depends on it. She thinks she loves him."

His eyes were gla.s.sy and red. "What the f.u.c.k does she know about love? That kid is going to use her up. You've seen him. He could give a s.h.i.t about her. He was going to f.u.c.k her in his van. I swear, if he f.u.c.king even as much as..." He trailed off and started hyperventilating again.

"Come on, I'm taking you upstairs," I sighed and knew I'd regret saying the words as soon as they were out of my mouth. "You should stay here tonight. I don't want you to drive."

He smirked. "Maybe I should've put a hole in the wall a week ago."

I couldn't help but laugh. "A week ago you would've spent the night in jail, smart a.s.s. Just come in so I can get you cleaned up. You can take a shower while I get the kids to bed."

He leaned forward without warning and pressed his lips to mine, hard and persistent. I held onto his shoulders and braced myself for the kiss. I wasn't sure if it was the stress, the moment, or what, but it felt right. At that moment, I needed him, too.

I pulled away first, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. I wanted us to stay on track, and we weren't going to communicate if we were distracted by s.e.x.

"I'll see you upstairs."

I got up, wiped the soot off my knees, and walked to the door.

"I'm sleeping in the guest room, aren't I?" he asked.

"Yup."

Chapter 15.

The next morning, I found Royal asleep on the couch with Benji scrunched up on his chest, his teddy in his arms. They looked content-a little uncomfortable-but sweet.

I let them be and worked in the garden a bit before everyone woke up. Once I picked Teddy's flowers to take to the cemetery, I went back inside to start some breakfast.

"Is Daddy still here?" Laney asked from behind me.

"Yeah, he's in the family room with your brother." I sat down next to her at the table, hoping she'd open up to me a little.

"I used to be so jealous of Benji when he was born." She smiled at the memory. "He was my Daddy first, and I liked being the baby."

I patted her knee. "He loves you all, you know that. I think Benji just needs him a lot right now."

"No, I know, Mom. They're boys," she giggled.

"Yeah," I agreed.

Laney's relationship with Royal was, in my opinion, unique. He related to her on such a special level, something none of us understood. They had very little in common other than their free spirit. They used to go off on their own, exploring, talking, and thinking. She didn't play ball like the other girls; in fact, she disliked sports altogether, but she loved the ocean, and nature in general-something he held dear to his heart. He always felt more alive when he was outdoors.

She was definitely Daddy's girl, though. Even though I'd never say it aloud, she was special to him, his little Laney.

"Mommy," she said quietly.

"What's up, angel?"

"Do you think you and Daddy will get back together?"

"I love Daddy very much, but we have to learn to be nice to each other again. This is a time-out, like I told you before. We'll work through this, and we'll be even better. That's what I want for all of us."

Nodding, she looked up at me. "I noticed you guys don't kiss and stuff as much. You guys are always mad now."

"It's not because I don't want to kiss Daddy, I think we just forgot how important it is to kiss and hug each other. Just like I never forget to kiss you guys goodnight and in the morning before you go to school, I can't forget how important it is to kiss Daddy, too."

She smiled. "I know you guys love each other because my friend's parents aren't like you guys. I sometimes used to get embarra.s.sed when you guys flirt and stuff," she giggled.

I leaned in and pressed my forehead to hers. "Daddy thinks it's funny to tease you guys. He can be a brat."

"He's cute, though, huh Mom?" she sighed. "I have a cute Daddy."

She had a way of making my heart melt. Everything ugly disappeared and sunshine pushed through. I wished I could tape record conversations we'd have, so one day she could see how beautiful she made my life. I really wished at that moment Royal had heard the sweet words from his daughter. I wasn't sure he really, truly understood his place in our family-how important he was to us.

"Well, don't tell him that he's cute. He'll get a big head."

I winked and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Come on. Let's go dig for a little. Your pumpkins are getting huge."

She'd been working in the garden with me since she was old enough to walk. When she was in Kindergarten, her cla.s.s project was a garden, and she'd insisted on growing vegetables. I'd always had flowers-thanks to Royal, but our little farmer always ensured we had fresh vegetables.

We worked in the garden for a little over an hour and then went inside to get cleaned up. Inside, Royal, Skylar, and Benji were sitting together in the family room, eating Frosted Flakes and watching cartoons.

"Good morning," I said, leaning against the door jamb. "I was going to make breakfast, but I wanted to wait for you guys to get up."

Royal, charming as ever, replied with a mouthful or cereal. "Skywur fix burfust."

"Cute," I said, rolling my eyes.

He swallowed down the bite and stood. "We need to talk to Macy," he said, walking toward the kitchen.

"I know we do." I followed behind him and sat down at the counter. "Are you calm enough to talk, or are the two of you going to kill each other again?"

He turned around, pointed a finger in my direction, and narrowed his eyes. "Things need to be handled around here. You've obviously given them way too much freedom and now look at the s.h.i.t she's gotten herself into."

"How dare you say this is my fault? She's a teenage girl, not a dog! I can't make her heal, Royal. She was upset yesterday, and yes, what she did was horribly stupid, but you have to talk to her calmly."

He laughed dryly and shook his head. "You're being blind, Jenna. She's playing you for a fool!"

"Don't call me stupid, d.a.m.n it! I'm not blind, or clueless. I was her once, or don't you remember? She's only been seeing the guy a couple months, and I have talked to her about things, okay. Have you? No! You started grunting and dragging your knuckles and swinging your club in the air like some gorilla man! Of course she's not going to listen to you!"

He stuck his finger out at me again, and that tiny gesture was flipping crazy switches off in my head left and right. "She needs boundaries."

"You're being ridiculous," I hissed. "What do you want to do with her? Lock her up until she's thirty? What about the other two? Should we install a tower?"

Before he could answer, Macy walked in the room behind me. "Oh, good. We're back to fighting." Her smart-a.s.sed remark rubbed me wrong. I was already worked up by Royal's tirade, and I wasn't putting up with her mouth.

"Sit down, young lady. We have some things to talk about."

She rolled her eyes and sat down across from me, folding her legs underneath her.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I really didn't want to make you worry. I was coming right back."

"That's a crock of s.h.i.t!" Royal snapped. "You did it to p.i.s.s me off for punishing you."

She stood, her arms straight down at her side. "I just had to get out of here. I was going crazy, and I wanted to talk to Austin. You took my phone!"

"You weren't talking, Macy!" Royal yelled again. I shot him a warning look, and he stepped back, taking a deep breath. "How could you be so stupid?"

"Royal," I snapped.

He was upset. We both had the tendency to say things we didn't mean, and he was going to hurt her with his words. I wouldn't tolerate him belittling her.

He glared at me before continuing. "I don't like that guy, and I don't trust him. He wants one thing from you, and once he gets it, he'll be gone."

She rolled her neck and snapped back. "Is that all you wanted from Mom?" she quipped.

"Yes-at first, yes. Jesus! All men want that, Macy. That's what I'm telling you. I agonize over the mistakes I made back then. I wish I could take things back and treat your mother the way I should've, but I was a stupid kid, pumped full of hormones and love and l.u.s.t over a pretty girl. I fell in love with her, though, Macy. I knew right from the very beginning that things between us were different, but it didn't change the way I was. I still wanted to have s.e.x with her, regardless of whether I should've. I shouldn't have touched her until we were married. I disrespected her, and your grandma and grandpa by sleeping with her."

A gasping sob tore through my chest. His confession was both shocking and unbelievable. I had no idea he thought that way, and even though I disagreed, knowing he felt that way astonished me.

He'd probably been up all night thinking about what to say to her. I knew how he wanted his daughter to be treated, and he had secondary guilt.

Seemed like he was finally pulling his head out of his a.s.s.

They both looked at me as I pushed my face into my hands, shaking my head.

"It's the truth, Jenna, and you know it. You were nave and young, and I f.u.c.king took what I wanted because I knew you'd do whatever I asked you to. I didn't take advantage of you, but I should've been more careful. I took your love and took, and took, and took. I f.u.c.king knocked you up before you could graduate from high school and then put you through losing Teddy all because I couldn't keep my d.i.c.k in my pants."

I looked up and shook my head furiously. "No, Royal! We were both irresponsible! Both of us!"

He laughed, roughly and full of regret. "Would you have ever told me no, Jenna?"

I shrugged my shoulders. The answer was probably not. I was as hot for him as he was for me-not that I was telling my daughter that.

"Oh my G.o.d, can we please stop talking about your s.e.x life? I get it. You had s.e.x, got pregnant, and you weren't married. What does that have to do with me? I haven't had s.e.x yet! Ugh!"

"Thank f.u.c.k for that," Royal muttered into his hands.

"So, I'm supposed to stay a virgin forever? G.o.d, you are so annoying!"

He dropped his hands in his lap and let out a long, frustrated sigh. "You think I want to be an a.s.shole all the time? I worry, Macy. I love you-even if I don't say it every day, I do."

They could run around in circles all day and get nowhere. Between his outbursts and her eyeb.a.l.l.s rolling around in her head, they were getting nowhere fast. They were too much alike-stubborn, pa.s.sionate, and impulsive. There had to be a compromise, or no one would give in.

"Since Austin is special to you, he should come for dinner so we can get to know him. All we know about him is that he likes to make out in his van. That's not a real positive impression. You have to understand where we're coming from. We're your parents, and it's our job to protect you."

She crossed her arms, rolled her eyes again, and sighed. "Seriously? How lame! Austin Samuels does not do family dinners. He's so not like that."

"Austin Samuels isn't going to do anything if he doesn't show up at your mother's table. That's the s.h.i.t I won't put up with-disrespect. If he thinks he's man enough to touch my little girl, then he's man enough to face her father."

"G.o.d! Fine. I'll ask him, but I swear, please don't act all weird and embarra.s.s me."

"No guarantees." Royal shrugged his shoulders and gave me a wink.

"Fine, can I go?"

I shook my head. "No. We need to talk about how irresponsible you were. You're grounded for three weeks, like your father said. You are home by three fifteen unless you have practice, and in that case, I will pick you up right afterward. No phone, no visitors, no computer-unless it's for school. You also owe your father an apology for the way you treated him yesterday. He didn't deserve it, and you can't hurt us just because you don't get your way."

She looked over at Royal and lowered her head. "I'm sorry. Can I go now?"

I groaned. "Well, at least you have three weeks to work on a better apology. I think you and your dad have some things to talk about, though, before you go."

I looked up at him, telling him with my eyes that he needed to talk to her. There was something deeper going on-catching her and Austin was just the tip of the iceberg. They had to clear the air.

"Macy, you know I would never hurt your mother, right?" he said nervously.

She scoffed. "But, you are. You did."

She wouldn't look at him, and that just wouldn't do. "Macy, we talked about this. It was a misunderstanding."

She finally looked up and rolled her eyes. "Why are you friends with Lana, Dad? She's a b.i.t.c.h, and she's obviously after you. It's totally obvious!"

His forehead scrunched, and he frowned. "That's not it at all, Macy. I think she's just lonely and wanted some old friends to hang out with. She doesn't mean s.h.i.t to me-she was just an old friend."

She flopped back against the counter. "Whatever. Why is grandma hanging out with her? That's just weird, isn't it? She just shows up and b.u.t.ts into our family? Grandma is stupid, too."

Royal rubbed his hands over his face roughly. "She spent a lot of time at our house when we were growing up, so I think she's just looking for something familiar. I don't know. Grandma isn't stupid, Macy. She likes being needed, or wanted, or whatever."

I bit my tongue hard enough to bite it off. Wasn't stupid, my a.s.s.