Slow Burn Part 45

It takes more than a few seconds to process his words. When it finally sinks in, an incredulous laugh escapes me. "You're done with me? Wait, you're not serious," I say firmly. "This isn't you, Dean. What happened? Why are you being like this?"

I move to touch his arm, but he pulls back sharply-like I'm contagious. I'm too stunned to cry. I just stare at him like a wounded animal, waiting for him to deliver the killing blow.

Dean stuffs his hands in his pants pockets, looking down at the ground. I watch his jaw clench, and I know he's not as unaffected as he's acting. So why is he doing this?

"Your dad ruined my life," he says finally. "If it wasn't for him, my parents would still be together, and my dad would have never sent me away."

My mouth drops open. "Okay...what?! First of all, your mom was just as guilty as my dad! It takes two people to have an affair, you know. And second-that was seven years ago! What does our parents have to do with how you're acting now?!"

"Consider it my little act of revenge," he says flatly.

"Bulls.h.i.t!"

All the ice cold parts of my body are beginning to become infused with heat. I stand right in front of him, grabbing onto his arm. "I don't know why you want me to think you're an a.s.shole, but I know this isn't you! Your excuse is incredibly lame. You're telling me all those things you did for me, everything you told me-it was all part of an elaborate scheme to get back at my dad? Are you kidding me?!"

He shakes me off. "I wanted to f.u.c.k you, and I did," he says with a careless shrug.

The blood drains from my face. I watch numbly as he starts to back away. "That can't be all this was," I whisper.

"Think what you want. We're done."

Dean walks away, leaving me standing there like the world's biggest idiot. When he turns the corner and is no longer in sight, the bones seem to disappear from my body. I slide down the side of the building until I'm a shaking mess on the ground.

Did that really happen? I can't-I don't even...no, this can't be real. He didn't mean it, he couldn't have. I don't believe it. G.o.d...I can't breathe...

While I'm sprawled there, stunned and gasping for breath, the last person in the world I want to see me like this comes strutting around the corner.

"Are you okay, Juliet?" Kara smirks at me, her voice dripping with false sympathy. "You look absolutely awful."

I fight to keep my expression even, and my voice steady. "Thanks. Bye."

Does she leave? Of course not. She prances right up to me, standing over me with her arms crossed. "Don't be rude, I was just making an observation."

"b.i.t.c.h, go away," I say tiredly, not even caring.

Kara tosses her perky ponytail over her shoulder, and duck faces at me. "Aw, what's the matter? Did you just get dumped, or something?"

I am horrified when scalding hot tears begin to run down my cheeks. "Just leave me alone," I choke out, turning my head. Too late-I know she knows I'm crying.

"G.o.d, you're so pathetic, I almost feel sorry for you," she sneers. She goes to lean a shoulder against the wall, next to me. "Well, if it's any consolation, at least you've been played by the best."

Hastily wiping my cheeks, I glare up at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, my G.o.d." Kara chuckles throatily. "You don't know, do you?"

d.a.m.n, she's so close, I could kick her and blame it on a leg spasm. "Know what?"

She stoops down a little to look me in the eye. "It was all just a game. You didn't think he really loved you, did you? Oh, wait, you did! That's hilarious!"

Don't react. Don't react. "What are you talking about?" I repeat flatly.

Kara is still giggling, but her light blue eyes are sharp and cutting. "I was the one who made it all happen. I convinced Dean to go after you. Maybe he took it a little too far, but he's got this, like, ma.s.sive crazy grudge against your dad. Don't look so surprised-he told me all about your parents' sordid little affair."

Grinning, she leans forward confidentially, lowering her voice. "Just like he told me all about Sat.u.r.day. So tell me, was Dean just bragging, or did you really let him go down on you twice in one night, you greedy little thing?"

Ice spills into my veins. He couldn't have told her-he wouldn't have. I am frozen in horror, my heart moving painfully in my chest. I stare at her, too sick to speak.

Kara seems to soften with concern. "Hey, don't take it so personally. Normally, I wouldn't go through so much effort with a little n.o.body like you. It's Johnny who really p.i.s.sed me off." She rolls her eyes. "What was he thinking, trying to bring someone like you into the group? You don't belong, Juliet. I'm just helping you to realize it."

She's smiling at me with a putrid combination of pity and triumph. I swallow convulsively, trying to find my voice. "You're lying," I finally manage hoa.r.s.ely. "Dean wouldn't-he wouldn't do that to me."

"It's cute that you think that. But Dean does whatever the h.e.l.l I tell him to." Kara's smirk turns suggestive. "Any. Thing."

A molten rush of fury has the color rushing back to my face with a vengeance. I get her silent implication. "No way," I growl. "Dean wouldn't touch a psycho b.i.t.c.h like you-and you would never hook up with anyone prettier than you."

Kara's face slowly turns a dull red-probably matching mine. She hikes one stiletto booted foot back, as if to kick me. I'm fully prepared to grab it, and yank her on her a.s.s. Unfortunately, she changes her mind, planting her foot firmly back on the ground.

"You want proof? Fine."

She slips a hand in her blazer pocket, and produces a jewel-encrusted phone. "I told him you wouldn't believe me," she mutters as she taps the screen a few times. Then she hands it over to me with a smug look. It makes me want to smash her precious phone-worth more than my car, I'm sure-against the side of the building. Because I know what's on there is going to break me. Dread curdling my stomach, I take a deep breath and look.

There are pictures-selfies Kara took of her and Dean. Kissing and-oh, G.o.d. Here's one of Kara sprawled like a p.o.r.n star on Dean's bed, wearing nothing but a white shirt, unb.u.t.toned and open. Why does she have a picture of herself like this on her phone? Why am I surprised? She totally would. Did Dean take it? Does he have a copy of it on his phone? The thought makes me ill.

I can't look anymore. I struggle to maintain a calm facade as I hand her back her phone. "I don't know who your plastic surgeon is, but he sucks," I say as casually as I can manage. "Your b.o.o.bs are totally lopsided."

Kara merely raises an eyebrow at me. I'm sure she knows her girls are perfect. She thrust her chest out at me, like I'm gonna ogle them, or something. "I've never had a complaint." She smiles viciously. "Especially not from Dean."

Despite myself, I have to ask. "When were those pictures taken?"

"Hm." She taps a perfectly manicured nail to her chin, and searches the sky. "The most recent one was taken last Thursday or Friday. You were at work, and Dean had a few hours to kill, so..."

Oh.

I am seriously going to be sick right now. I don't care. I hope I hurl all over Kara, and her hooker boots, and her sneering face. I feel the bile rising in my throat, and I deliberately think of that naked pic because I'm aiming for a world record in projectile vomiting.

Kara crouches down in front of me, pinning me with her eyes. She doesn't realize she's about to get splattered by this morning's French toast.

"You're done here, Juliet," she says softly. "You don't have Dean, or Johnny to protect you now, so you're nothing but chum in the water."

"Are you for real?" I whisper, too creeped out to puke now.

"Parts of me are." Kara gracefully rises to her feet. "I recommend home schooling. It's a lot safer."

She pats my head like I'm her pet before she leaves. It doesn't matter. She wins. I am completely obliterated. Cla.s.s has surely started by now, but I'm not going to make it. In fact, I'm thinking about calling it a day. For the rest of the school year.

Home school, huh. I might look into that.

Chapter 48.

I think I'm doing okay. I'm changing out of my uniform when I hear a noise downstairs. I don't know why I think it's Dean-and not an intruder-but I go flying down the steps, and into the kitchen where I'm pretty sure the noise is coming from.

Lucky for me, it's Heather. She's making me soup! I burst into big ugly tears.

"H-how did you know?" I sob, holding onto her.

"Arianna saw you leaving. She said you looked upset." When I make a skeptical noise, she shrugs. "Hey, I told you she's not so bad."

Tears stream down my face as I look up at Heather. "I don't know what happened! I just don't understand...how could it all have been a lie?"

"Tell me everything," Heather says firmly, and leads me over to the kitchen table.

We talk all day. She's as baffled as I am about Dean's one eighty on me, but since she doesn't know him that well, she can't offer any helpful insights. Just having her listen to me pour my heart out is enough. It's great to have my best friend back-though it's not quite like it was before with us. It's definitely awkward, and there's still some lingering tension. Especially when she admits that she's still talking to Sloane.

"I'm sorry about blowing up at you, and saying all those things," Heather says earnestly. "It's all my fault. I knew it, and I still froze you out. I just needed a little time to think."

"I know," I say, a little stiffly. "I understand. But Heather...after what happened at the party, why would you want to be involved with her?"

"She's trying to change." She looks at me imploringly. "You know she went to rehab, right? We've been trying to support each other. I swear, I'm not drinking as much-and it's thanks to Sloane. Seriously, Jule...this girl is incredible. If you give her another chance, you'd see that."

G.o.d, I can't do this right now. "I see her in school every day," I say, playing with my necklace. "She doesn't say a word to me."

Heather looks pained. She grabs one of my pillows and hugs it to her chest. "That's because she knows how you feel about her. Maybe if you made the first move?"

I give my best friend a stern look. "Heather, I love you, and I'll always be there for you-but that's just not going to happen."

"You're right, it's too much. That's cool." She grins her familiar goofy grin. "We won't talk about that right now. For the rest of the day, it's all about you."

Unfortunately, she means it. Heather stays glued to my side all day. When I go in for my shift at the rec, she comes with me and stays the entire time-much to the delight of the kids. She even spends the night, and probably would have gone to the bathroom with me if I had let her. Mom-who came home for, like, five minutes-greets her like it hasn't been months since she last saw Heather over. She seems exhausted-my mom, not Heather.

I guess I'm still in shock. I can't seem to find my mad. Where the indignation and fury should be, there is only a cold aching emptiness. Despite everything, I miss him desperately. I'm like a junkie craving her next fix, pathetic and shameless. G.o.d, I think I'd do anything to be with him again.

No one needs to tell me. I know I'm the biggest idiot in the world.

Everything begins to take on a dreamlike quality. Maybe because I'm not sleeping-or maybe I just don't want to accept reality. My tiny little brain is going into overdrive, going over everything, trying to make sense of what happened. But I can't, because none of it makes sense. There's no way Dean only pretended to care about me-I've seen him act, and he is not good at it. There has to be a reason...Kara's blackmailing him, or-or something.

Dean won't even look in my direction, let alone talk to me. Seriously, it's as if I ceased to exist for him. Lit is the worst. We have to sit next to each other, and having him right there, so close-and knowing I can't have him-is the worst form of torture. I have to fight back tears, and apparently it makes me like I'm about to puke because Mr. Shannon is constantly asking me if I need to see a nurse.

Oh, the guys aren't really talking to me, either. Ben is acting really twitchy. I'm certain Johnny knows Dean and I had s.e.x because he's been avoiding me like the plague. I'm also sure that he doesn't know the rest of it-because despite everything that happened between the two of us, Johnny would never stand for me being maliciously hurt like this. Mack and Nick are still friendly-but it's the superficial kind, reserved for acquaintances you barely know, or feel sorry for. I know without asking that there won't be any more Sundays at Mack's. Everyone else treats me about the same as they used to-which I should be grateful for, I guess.

I don't even try to eat lunch. I sit on a bench in the breezeway, and catch up on homework. I've been thinking about life after high school a lot-something which I used to avoid doing at all costs. It used to scare me to think about the future, but now...I can't wait to get out of here. Maybe I'll get into UNLV with Heather, and we could get part-time jobs. She could be a show girl, and I could be a card shark . Me and Heather in Vegas...that could be kind of awesome.

Unless she gets into NYU with Sloane. Ugh.

I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself to notice Laundry-Dani-until she's standing right in front of me, and clearing her throat to get my attention.

I blink up at her uncertainly. "Um...hi?"

"Hey, Juliet." Dani shifts awkwardly as she meets my eyes. "Can we talk?"

Now what? I nod, and manage a smile, which she takes as an invitation to sit next to me. I feel the old stirrings of jealousy as I can't help but notice how pretty and model-like she is. She also smells like strawberries. I'm not purposefully sniffing her, I swear.

"I owe you an apology," she says in a breathless rush. "I know it's long overdue, but-wow, this is really...odd." She giggles nervously.

I really don't want to have this conversation. "Oh, no, listen-you don't owe me anything. Really, let's just forget about it, okay?"

I smile to show her there's no hard feelings, but she stubbornly shakes her head. Staring down at her clenched hands in her lap, she says, "I don't want you to think that I'm the kind of girl who goes around, trying to steal other girls' boyfriends. I mean-okay, I did try to steal Johnny. I just-I really like him."

I watch a blush steal over her cheeks. "I know you guys used to date," I say, trying to sound sympathetic, and probably failing miserably.

"Um, yeah. But he was never serious about me." Dani makes a face, laughing at herself. Then her laughter trails off, and she sighs. "I was so jealous of you. You got him to settle down, when n.o.body else could. Johnny...he really loves you."

I don't want to hear that right now-especially from her. "I don't know about that," I say finally. "Anyway...you know we're broken up for good, right?"

"I heard." She shoots me a speculative look. What has she heard? Then she takes a deep breath. "I don't know if this will help anything, but I wanted to tell you about that night...you know, the party at Johnny's? It was a set up."

"Huh?" I say eloquently.

"It was Kara," Dani continues, brushing her hair away from her face. "She told me that I should be prepared to make a move on him-not that I wasn't already trying. But Kara...she kept handing Johnny drinks, and talking s.h.i.t. Arianna showed her those pictures she took of you and some guy at the mall. It actually looked pretty innocent to me, but Kara showed Johnny, and said that Arianna told her that you guys were all over each other-"

"What?" I growl, shaking my head in disbelief.

"Kara said she'd seen you around with other guys before, and Johnny...by then, he was so drunk, he started believing everything she told him." She looks down. "I went along with it, and I-I wouldn't leave him alone. He didn't want to-not until he heard you had showed up. I know he was just using me to get back at you."

I don't know how to feel about Dani's shame-faced confession. It doesn't make me feel better, and it still doesn't excuse Johnny's behavior that night. And it proves what I already know: Kara is a giant b.i.t.c.h.

"Why would Kara do that?" I ask after a beat. "Are you guys, like, best friends, or something?"

"No." Dani lets out a barking laugh. "In fact, she used to hit on Johnny all the time when we were seeing each other. She'd always tell me she could steal him away from me at any time."

I grimace at that. "Why are you friends with her?"

She shrugs uncomfortably. "I don't know. I guess I'm kind of afraid not to be. She can be really vicious if you get on her bad side."

"No kidding." I snort. Then my shoulders slump. "I don't even know what I did to her."

"It's not you," Dani says sympathetically. "She's wanted Johnny and Dean forever. They're the hottest guys in school, and she wanted them to fight over her. But they both turned her down."

I tilt my head to look at her, eyes wide. "They both turned her down? Are you sure?"

"Oh, yeah." A smirk creeps across Dani's face. "She was p.i.s.sed." She says "p.i.s.sed" like it's a huge understatement, and with a great deal of satisfaction.