Shards - Book 1 Part 5

"That was for a raid. You sure gave us a scare, though! They woke me up and told me about three sentences as I ran over here to be your pilot. It was only a coincidence that the smallest woman in the Third was also your counselor. It wasn't the way I'd planned on meeting you. Still, I was a little proud at how you got so far."

"Well, I'm glad I did get caught. Now. But would you have taken me where I wanted to go?"

"Uh-huh. As you've guessed, we exist primarily to return to ripes their own personas. If we could give them their bodies as well, we would. But we can't, and even have to steal the ones we do give them. When they wake up, they have an incredible amount of adjusting to go through, as you know firsthand. A few just shut down. Others go nuts. Many, however, make it, and are integrated into society after two to four months. But while they're here, they get pretty much what they want. To a point. That would have included taking you out in the hov."

We had wandered through most of the hanger, which had modest activity. Mainly vehicle repair. Several were armed and damaged. A thought occurred to me.

"Wait. Two to four months? Doctor Barrett mentioned my being the only one here. Yet you said you had done nearly fifty in three years. By those numbers, there should be four or five here now." I waited expectantly.

"Sorry, kid. Don't get your hopes up. We never have that many here at any time. Remember, there is a high failure rate," she sighed heavily. "It's about one in three. Terrible odds, and an awful risk. That's why we pick the ripes with the best chance to survive but who are in the worst conditions. You filled the bill in the second, easily, but your chances of survival were unknown. I wish I could tell you how frustrating it was when we couldn't find out anything about you. Our society on Earth has evolved to a point that there is a single, world authority. Information access has reached a point that even the Resistance regiments can freely gather what we want. And data webbing techniques date back to the middle of the twenty-first Century, over 600 hundred years ago, so the data is comprehensive."

I nodded absently, my thoughts elsewhere. "Yeah. That was Chris' project. I knew he'd pull it off. But I had no idea it would work this well."

Why I said that, I'll never know. I suppose it was my hormones wreaking havoc on my judgment. Impetuous youth. Maybe a juvenile need to show off. If I was looking to get the spotlight, I was successful.

Susie's jaw dropped and she stared at me. Gawked, more like. "What did you say? You knew Chris Young? Who are you?"

"I'm n.o.body you'd know, Susie. I'm surprised you even know Chris. Against all regulations ... well, I've said enough. Are you going to be at the interview later?" She nodded. "Good! I'll need you to hide behind. I'll talk more then. And we can have a little one on one tonight, in our quarters." And I had decided I would talk. NATech couldn't still exist after 600 years, could they? And if they did, could I still be responsible for my oath of secrecy? I couldn't see how. Still, there was a way to find out, since they were using Chris's webbing scheme, but I would need access to a terminal. Private access. I put the thought aside for the moment.

"So. Getting back to the story. You didn't have any info on me..."

She looked at me a second, then continued. "Uhhh ... no information. That's right. We didn't have any information on your original persona, not even your name. We did have spotty facts on some of your past ripes. And, of course, we knew a great deal about your last ripe."

"Is there any chance I could find out what, or who, I was?" I'm not sure I wanted to know, but I did want to have the option. I think.

Susie shook her head decisively. "Not from us, you won't. We view all ripings as abominations, no matter what the circ.u.mstances. Once we've rescued the original persona, our research data and trolling routines are wiped, and the researcher gives a vow to never disclose any details."

"And since you were my researcher, that's all been wiped?" She nodded. I looked down and scuffed my feet against the rock floor. "Well, don't worry. I was just curious. But I'm glad I can't find out." And I meant it. I did feel relieved. "Getting my head on straight is hard enough without gumming up the works with useless information."

She smiled approvingly. "That's the spirit! I should tell you, though, the time will come when you'll feel an overwhelming need to find out about your past. I know because we've encountered it with nearly every Cue we maintain contact with. Most Cues never reach the level of training needed to do that kind of digging. And access at those levels is grueling. No offense intended; almost no-one reaches that level. So the feeling to know past ripes fades in time. Usually for good.

"But I'm getting an idea that you're the exception. I guess I'm not surprised. You've been the exception all along. You probably could find out. So let me give you a friendly warning: Don't. I'm not betraying any secrets when I say this, and I say it with the hope of killing curiosity, not arousing it. Your past ripes, what we could find of them, were dirty, horrible, and, quite frankly, scary." She held herself and, despite the warmth pouring through the huge cavern opening we were now standing in front of, she shivered. "Normally, the worst are the hardest to find, so I'm more terrified of what we didn't find than of what we did." She looked off. Maybe it was a cold sunlight out there, because I shivered, too.

There didn't seem to be a whole lot to say to that, so I kept quiet. We stood there together for a while, thinking our own thoughts. The cave entrance had a type of holographic force field across the entire entrance. I don't know how it appeared from the outside-probably native rock with plant life if the imaging system was sophisticated enough-but from the inside it seemed as if I were looking through murky water with a sc.u.m of oil on the surface. I couldn't make out details at all, but if I viewed the outside as an entire scene, I was given the impression of a forested mountain. Yet as soon as I looked at one specific area, the image seemed to swirl away, leaving a confusing mix of colors and light. It was somehow mesmerizing.

"Lost in thought, ladies?" A warm male voice spoke behind us, so soothing and pleasant that even the unexpected interruption didn't startle us. We turned, and I saw Lt. Sanchez-the officer who had so capably kept me from hurting myself or others the previous night-approaching us.

"Lieutenant! Sir!" Susie came to attention and saluted.

Lt. Sanchez returned the salute. "Oh, knock it off, Susan. You're on special duty. Don't give our guest the wrong idea. She might think you people really follow my orders." He turned his gaze to me. I felt almost like hiding behind Susie. I even took a step back and toward her. He was enormous. His legs looked like the size of trees, and his arms made a forest. His mahogany complexion was warm and friendly. But his eyes exuded confidence and authority, and perhaps a little sadness. He smiled, and his white teeth showed from underneath his handsomely groomed mustache.

"Please. Don't be shy on my account, young lady. You didn't act too shy last night."

"Last night I was ready to kill you."

"Yes. Well, not all our plans turn out. It's all for the better, I believe. Unplanned events are the spice of

life. Oh, step up, girl! I think anyone who's capable of getting as far as you did last night can stand up to

a little bit of guilt. Front and center!"

His voice was very compelling, but without malice. Years of military training woke up, and I stepped up beside Susie, coming to attention. He nodded, as if having discovered something of interest.

"At ease, miss. You've served, haven't you?"

"Yes, sir. Recon, Company A, 138th Regiment, Second Armored."

"Rank?"

"Corporal, sir!" I responded. Not wanting to make it awkward for him, I decided to hedge my rank. My

high voice made my replies sound comical.

"Duties?" I remained silent. He spoke again, a little firmer. "Duties?"

Again, I remained silent, the flashback slowly fading, and common sense rea.s.serting itself. Still, it had

felt nice, like for a moment I had belonged. I relaxed.

"They were varied and ... cla.s.sified, Lieutenant."

"I see. And you will not give me details, Corporal? Not even after six centuries?"

"No, sir. Not yet. I'm not sure of the situation, sir. Perhaps after awhile."

"And if I ordered you?" he asked quietly.

It was my turn to smile. "Order? Well, I'll obey your orders in the here and now, Lieutenant. But first,

those duties were cla.s.sified, so I could respond only on a need to know basis. Second, they were in a different military. And, I'm sorry, sir, but third, corporal was not the military rank I mustered out with. I held a commission. The actual rank I held was ... well," my smile spread wider with the delicious thought, "would you take orders from me?"

He laughed. "No, I wouldn't. You're doing well, young lady! Take a look at Susan." She was again looking at me like she'd been stunned. "Our Cue counselors like to think they've got you people all figured out. Sometimes I think that when looking into your memories and finding everything they can about you, they forget that you've lived those memories. It helps to shake them up now and then."

"Yes, sir. Ummm, I'm sorry for the trouble I caused last night." And for a little while ago, but last night was serious.

He waved it off. "Don't apologize. I wasn't looking for an apology. I was looking for you. " He tapped me on the chest. "You showed ingenuity and guts last night." Yeah, it was real clever of me, fainting to throw everyone off their guard. "I've always told my dogs to stay alert, and they think they are. Yet a teenager rouses herself from Healer's Sleep, roams freely in the halls, arms herself with a gun from Dusty's room, and comes within a pa.s.sword of stealing a hov and pilot. You're getting a bit of a name for yourself." I wonder what kind of name I'd have when my tantrum in the bathroom became common knowledge. Of course, since all Cues went through the same right of pa.s.sage, perhaps it wouldn't be too bad.

"Raul, let's not go over..." Susan started, but was cut short.

"Susan. Please. I've handled many male Cues, just as you've done many female ones. We share this one." He looked at me, "You like it straight, don't you?"

"Yes," I said frankly. Susan gave me an irritated look.

He nodded. "I thought so. I don't know what your specific duties were, but I do know something of recon units, even from that era. They didn't pick you because you had a pretty face." He smiled. "Though you've got one now." I blushed. Susan face was also red, but she wasn't blushing.

"Raul! Please! We've already talked about this. It was agreed..."

"Corporal!" he barked, all friendliness disappearing like a vapor. Susan snapped to, as rigid as Lot 's wife.

"Sir!" She remained immobile.

"I have chosen command prerogative."

"Yes, sir!"

"Very well." He stepped up close, inspecting her eyes, which were riveted straight ahead. "See that you remember." He stepped back and looked at me. I felt my body tightening into attention of its own volition-he had that effect. He smiled again at me, bowing slightly and elegantly. "I look forward to dinner with you tomorrow evening. I very much want to call you by your new name." His tone became neutral as he switched back to Susie. He said, "Dismissed," and walked away toward one of the larger disabled vehicles, rolling up his sleeves.

Susan yanked me by the arm in the other direction, nearly pulling me off my feet. She stormed off in the direction of the wide ramp leading up toward the medical corridor. I was like a helpless leaf, caught up in the backwash of her fury. I staggered along for a few steps, but protested when we got to the edge of the ramp.

"Hey, Susie! Slow down! And calm down!"

She seemed aware of me for the first time. She stopped and released my arm, staring back at Sanchez. He had disappeared beneath the frame. Flickering shafts of bright light came out from under the cha.s.sis DAMAGE TO THE PRIMARY AND SECONDARY HULLS IS CONSIDERABLE. THAT LOSS OF LIFE WAS MINIMAL IS DUE TO THE QUICK ACTION OF THE CAPTAIN AND CREW. WELDING DETAIL IS BEING DISPATCHED WITH REPAIR SPECIFICATIONS. COMPLETION IN 32 HOURS, 17 MINUTES. IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT HIGH DENSITY RESIN BE USED AT A 65% SATURATION LEVEL BETWEEN HULLS AT THE SITE OF THE REPAIR, WITH 40% SATURATION AT AREAS WITHIN 2.5 METERS OF THE REPAIR SITE. ESTIMATED INCREASE IN REPAIR TIMES: 4 HOURS, 52 MINUTES.

as he welded. I was impressed. Susie was not. She looked as if she wanted to use her eyes to weld him to the cha.s.sis underbelly. If a girl had given me that look in my day, I'd have become a monk. On the spot.

"Oh! That man can be so ... so ... uhhhhh!"

"What?" I asked intelligently.

"Didn't you see? He was all ready to treat you like a dog, just because you'd been one centuries ago. Like it makes a difference now!"

"Oh, I don't know. I kinda liked it."

"You wha t? But he didn't even pay any attention to your feelings, that insensitive ape!"

"I know. And it was nice. C'mon Susie. I'll admit I'm female now. Heck, I'll even admit I'm learning to enjoy it. A lot. But for thirty-one years, 'me' has been from his side of the gender. I don't care how much things have changed; that doesn't get wiped out in two days. It doesn't matter how pumped full of estrogen I am. If it did, what would be the point in restoring me? So I liked his direct att.i.tude. And I like your emotional and relational approach." I took her hand and looked at her. "Hey, this is supposed to be for me, isn't it?" She nodded. "Then let Raul do his bit. Believe me, I think it'll help without messing up my signals. Please?"

She nodded again and looked toward Sanchez. "I'm sorry. But sometimes he gets me so angry and..."

"Excited?" I had a sudden insight and shook my head. It was so crystal clear. "Wow." Susie looked at me, a distrustful look in her eye.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I think I just had my first flash of woman's intuition." I looked at her. "You ... you like him, don't you?"

" Him ? Of course not!" she lied.

"No, you do! I don't know how, but I'm certain of it! You've feelings for Raul Sanchez!" I said triumphantly. And loudly. And without thinking. Fortunately, Susan was thinking and crammed her hand into my mouth as I blurted it out. Several people in the general vicinity glanced our way, but if they had any opinions as to the wisdom of choking someone they'd risked their lives for, they kept them to themselves.

"Are you crazy? Somebody will hear you! True or not, I'd never live it down!"

"Shaaawwee," I choked out through her fingers. She pulled them free. "I suppose I'd better keep those woman intuition things to myself, huh?"

She smiled at me sweetly. "That wasn't woman's intuition, girl. That was pure delusion. Let's go see Doctor Barrett. Maybe he can give you something to soothe your imagination." She started leading me up the ramp. "Like shock treatment."

Chapter Five.

"Good morning, ladies!" Dr. Barrett was sitting behind his desk, fingers playing over the cracked keyboard. He looked up at our entrance, rising. "Just a friendly visit, or did you come by for the physical?"

"I was giving her the tour, Doctor, and thought we'd stop by for the physical now, before lunch." Susie sighed like she'd had a heavy weight slide off her shoulders. "She's a handful." I shot her a dirty look. I wasn't that bad. Dr. Barrett laughed.

"She's all that. But is she a keeper?" For a moment, I felt a flash of fear. Am I a keeper? What did he mean? Was there some sort of guideline or example I needed to live up to? What if I didn't meet those expectations? Would they-I saw them smiling at me and realized they were joking. My ears warmed.

"Yes, I'm a keeper, Doctor. I guess I should give you the thanks," I smiled as I delivered the comment. "Or the blame."

"Touche. I'll take both, and say 'You're welcome' to the first. Well, down to business." His voice took on a very professional timbre. He spoke, to no-one in particular, "Private examination and consultation," and I heard a deep tone from the door. I looked back and noticed it was solid. I was going to have to find out how that worked. Not only would the technical workings be fascinating, it would be useful knowing how to circ.u.mvent it if necessary.

Dr. Barrett took me gently by the arm and led me to an examination table which slid out of a wall at just the right height. Without waiting to be told, I carefully sat on the edge. I looked at Susan a little nervously. She understood perfectly.

"Don't worry, kid. I'll stick around and keep an eye on the old lecher."

The barb just bounced off the doctor. "Lecher, huh, Susie? Just wait until your next exam. I'll dig around and see if I can find an old style needle for your shots. Preferably a hooked, dirty one." He turned at me and started by taking my pulse. As the nurse had done-was it only last night?-he held my wrist.

"I'd have thought medicine had come further than this, Doctor."

"It has, young lady, it has. But I'm an old dog," he couldn't have been over forty-five, "and prefer the human touch. My patients do, too. Take off your top, please. You can leave your bra on, though. While I perform the examination, is there anything you'd like to know?" he asked casually as I pulled off my blouse.

I did have several questions, nonmedical, which I put to him and he answered. I had been very wrong about his bedside manner. He had me completely at ease. As a physical, it was very cursory, which I asked about.

"The truth is, I know more about your physical well-being than you do. When we make a raid on the physiomanufacturing complex, we've already selected in advance the subjects we want. Then, after we've returned to base, I run an extensive, three day physical to check for anything out of the ordinary."

"Wait," I interrupted, "Susie said she didn't know how old this body was. I thought you pretty much did a lightning raid and s.n.a.t.c.hed what you could."

"Absolutely not!" he exclaimed. I seemed to have hit one of Dr. Barrett's pet peeves. "First, we're not some beta version operation that flies about performing haphazard raids. Each one is meticulously planned. We value the lives of our own people nearly as much as we value you, young lady.

"Second, we can determine the date your body was conceived by just accessing the proper records. We don't retain that information because it's unneeded. Your real birthday is the day you are reintegrated. Only your age in years is pa.s.sed along.