Shakespeare's First Folio Part 190

Bap. I am glad he's come, howsoere he comes

Bion. Why sir, he comes not

Bap. Didst thou not say hee comes?

Bion. Who, that Petruchio came?

Bap. I, that Petruchio came

Bion. No sir, I say his horse comes with him on his backe

Bap. Why that's all one

Bion. Nay by S[aint]. Iamy, I hold you a penny, a horse and a man is more then one, and yet not many.

Enter Petruchio and Grumio.

Pet. Come, where be these gallants? who's at home?

Bap. You are welcome sir

Petr. And yet I come not well

Bap. And yet you halt not

Tra. Not so well apparell'd as I wish you were

Petr. Were it better I should rush in thus: But where is Kate? where is my louely Bride?

How does my father? gentles methinkes you frowne, And wherefore gaze this goodly company, As if they saw some wondrous monument, Some Commet, or vnusuall prodigie?

Bap. Why sir, you know this is your wedding day: First were we sad, fearing you would not come, Now sadder that you come so vnprouided: Fie, doff this habit, shame to your estate, An eye-sore to our solemne festiuall

Tra. And tell vs what occasion of import Hath all so long detain'd you from your wife, And sent you hither so vnlike your selfe?

Petr. Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to heare, Sufficeth I am come to keepe my word, Though in some part inforced to digresse, Which at more leysure I will so excuse, As you shall well be satisfied with all.

But where is Kate? I stay too long from her, The morning weares, 'tis time we were at Church

Tra. See not your Bride in these vnreuerent robes, Goe to my chamber, put on clothes of mine

Pet. Not I, beleeue me, thus Ile visit her

Bap. But thus I trust you will not marry her

Pet. Good sooth euen thus: therefore ha done with words, To me she's married, not vnto my cloathes: Could I repaire what she will weare in me, As I can change these poore accoutrements, 'Twere well for Kate, and better for my selfe.

But what a foole am I to chat with you, When I should bid good morrow to my Bride?

And seale the t.i.tle with a louely kisse.

Enter.

Tra. He hath some meaning in his mad attire, We will perswade him be it possible, To put on better ere he goe to Church

Bap. Ile after him, and see the euent of this.

Enter.

Tra. But sir, Loue concerneth vs to adde Her fathers liking, which to bring to pa.s.se As before imparted to your worship, I am to get a man what ere he be, It skills not much, weele fit him to our turne, And he shall be Vincentio of Pisa, And make a.s.surance heere in Padua Of greater summes then I haue promised, So shall you quietly enioy your hope, And marry sweet Bianca with consent

Luc. Were it not that my fellow schoolemaster Doth watch Bianca's steps so narrowly: 'Twere good me-thinkes to steale our marriage, Which once perform'd, let all the world say no, Ile keepe mine owne despite of all the world

Tra. That by degrees we meane to looke into, And watch our vantage in this businesse, Wee'll ouer-reach the grey-beard Gremio, The narrow prying father Minola, The quaint Musician, amorous Litio, All for my Masters sake Lucentio.

Enter Gremio.

Signior Gremio, came you from the Church?

Gre. As willingly as ere I came from schoole

Tra. And is the Bride & Bridegroom coming home?

Gre. A bridegroome say you? 'tis a groome indeed, A grumlling groome, and that the girle shall finde

Tra. Curster then she, why 'tis impossible

Gre. Why hee's a deuill, a deuill, a very fiend

Tra. Why she's a deuill, a deuill, the deuils damme

Gre. Tut, she's a Lambe, a Doue, a foole to him: Ile tell you sir Lucentio; when the Priest Should aske if Katherine should be his wife, I, by goggs woones quoth he, and swore so loud, That all amaz'd the Priest let fall the booke, And as he stoop'd againe to take it vp, This mad-brain'd bridegroome tooke him such a cuffe, That downe fell Priest and booke, and booke and Priest, Now take them vp quoth he, if any list

Tra. What said the wench when he rose againe?

Gre. Trembled and shooke: for why, he stamp'd and swore, as if the Vicar meant to cozen him: but after many ceremonies done, hee calls for wine, a health quoth he, as if he had beene aboord carowsing to his Mates after a storme, quaft off the Muscadell, and threw the sops all in the s.e.xtons face: hauing no other reason, but that his beard grew thinne and hungerly, and seem'd to aske him sops as hee was drinking: This done, hee tooke the Bride about the necke, and kist her lips with such a clamorous smacke, that at the parting all the Church did eccho: and I seeing this, came thence for very shame, and after mee I know the rout is comming, such a mad marryage neuer was before: harke, harke, I heare the minstrels play.

Musicke playes.

Enter Petruchio, Kate, Bianca, Hortensio, Baptista.

Petr. Gentlemen & friends, I thank you for your pains, I know you thinke to dine with me to day, And haue prepar'd great store of wedding cheere, But so it is, my haste doth call me hence, And therefore heere I meane to take my leaue

Bap. Is't possible you will away to night?

Pet. I must away to day before night come, Make it no wonder: if you knew my businesse, You would intreat me rather goe then stay: And honest company, I thanke you all, That haue beheld me giue away my selfe To this most patient, sweet, and vertuous wife, Dine with my father, drinke a health to me, For I must hence, and farewell to you all

Tra. Let vs intreat you stay till after dinner

Pet. It may not be

Gra. Let me intreat you

Pet. It cannot be

Kat. Let me intreat you

Pet. I am content

Kat. Are you content to stay?

Pet. I am content you shall entreat me stay, But yet not stay, entreat me how you can

Kat. Now if you loue me stay

Pet. Grumio, my horse