Shakespeare's First Folio Part 191

Gru. I sir, they be ready, the Oates haue eaten the horses

Kate. Nay then, Doe what thou canst, I will not goe to day, No, nor to morrow, not till I please my selfe, The dore is open sir, there lies your way, You may be iogging whiles your bootes are greene: For me, Ile not be gone till I please my selfe, 'Tis like you'll proue a iolly surly groome, That take it on you at the first so roundly

Pet. O Kate content thee, prethee be not angry

Kat. I will be angry, what hast thou to doe?

Father, be quiet, he shall stay my leisure

Gre. I marry sir, now it begins to worke

Kat. Gentlemen, forward to the bridall dinner, I see a woman may be made a foole If she had not a spirit to resist

Pet. They shall goe forward Kate at thy command, Obey the Bride you that attend on her.

Goe to the feast, reuell and domineere, Carowse full measure to her maiden-head, Be madde and merry, or goe hang your selues: But for my bonny Kate, she must with me: Nay, looke not big, nor stampe, not stare, nor fret, I will be master of what is mine owne, Shee is my goods, my chattels, she is my house, My houshold-stuffe, my field, my barne, My horse, my oxe, my a.s.se, my any thing, And heere she stands, touch her who euer dare, Ile bring mine action on the proudest he That stops my way in Padua: Grumio Draw forth thy weapon, we are beset with theeues, Rescue thy Mistresse if thou be a man: Feare not sweet wench, they shall not touch thee Kate, Ile buckler thee against a Million.

Exeunt. P. Ka.

Bap. Nay, let them goe, a couple of quiet ones

Gre. Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing

Tra. Of all mad matches neuer was the like

Luc. Mistresse, what's your opinion of your sister?

Bian. That being mad her selfe, she's madly mated

Gre. I warrant him Petruchio is Kated

Bap. Neighbours and friends, though Bride & Bridegroom wants For to supply the places at the table, You know there wants no iunkets at the feast: Lucentio, you shall supply the Bridegroomes place, And let Bianca take her sisters roome

Tra. Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it?

Bap. She shall Lucentio: come gentlemen lets goe.

Enter Grumio.

Exeunt.

Gru. Fie, fie on all tired Iades, on all mad Masters, & all foule waies: was euer man so beaten? was euer man so raide? was euer man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are comming after to warme them: now were not I a little pot, & soone hot; my very lippes might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roofe of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me, but I with blowing the fire shall warme my selfe: for considering the weather, a taller man then I will take cold: Holla, hoa Curtis.

Enter Curtis.

Curt. Who is that calls so coldly?

Gru. A piece of Ice: if thou doubt it, thou maist slide from my shoulder to my heele, with no greater a run but my head and my necke. A fire good Curtis

Cur. Is my master and his wife comming Grumio?

Gru. Oh I Curtis I, and therefore fire, fire, cast on no water

Cur. Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported

Gru. She was good Curtis before this frost: but thou know'st winter tames man, woman, and beast: for it hath tam'd my old master, and my new mistris, and my selfe fellow Curtis

Gru. Away you three inch foole, I am no beast

Gru. Am I but three inches? Why thy horne is a foot and so long am I at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complaine on thee to our mistris, whose hand (she being now at hand) thou shalt soone feele, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office

Cur. I prethee good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world?

Gru. A cold world Curtis in euery office but thine, & therefore fire: do thy duty, and haue thy dutie, for my Master and mistris are almost frozen to death

Cur. There's fire readie, and therefore good Grumio the newes

Gru. Why Iacke boy, ho boy, and as much newes as wilt thou

Cur. Come, you are so full of conicatching

Gru. Why therefore fire, for I haue caught extreme cold. Where's the Cooke, is supper ready, the house trim'd, rushes strew'd, cobwebs swept, the seruingmen in their new fustian, the white stockings, and euery officer his wedding garment on? Be the Iackes faire within, the Gils faire without, the Carpets laide, and euerie thing in order?

Cur. All readie: and therefore I pray thee newes

Gru. First know my horse is tired, my master & mistris falne out

Cur. How?

Gru. Out of their saddles into the durt, and thereby hangs a tale

Cur. Let's ha't good Grumio

Gru. Lend thine eare

Cur. Heere

Gru. There

Cur. This 'tis to feele a tale, not to heare a tale

Gru. And therefore 'tis cal'd a sensible tale: and this Cuffe was but to knocke at your eare, and beseech listning: now I begin, Inprimis wee came downe a fowle hill, my Master riding behinde my Mistris

Cur. Both of one horse?

Gru. What's that to thee?

Cur. Why a horse

Gru. Tell thou the tale: but hadst thou not crost me, thou shouldst haue heard how her horse fel, and she vnder her horse: thou shouldst haue heard in how miery a place, how she was bemoil'd, how hee left her with the horse vpon her, how he beat me because her horse stumbled, how she waded through the durt to plucke him off me: how he swore, how she prai'd, that neuer prai'd before: how I cried, how the horses ranne away, how her bridle was burst: how I lost my crupper, with manie things of worthy memorie, which now shall die in obliuion, and thou returne vnexperienc'd to thy graue

Cur. By this reckning he is more shrew than she

Gru. I, and that thou and the proudest of you all shall finde when he comes home. But what talke I of this?

Call forth Nathaniel, Ioseph, Nicholas, Phillip, Walter, Sugersop and the rest: let their heads bee slickely comb'd, their blew coats brush'd, and their garters of an indifferent knit, let them curtsie with their left legges, and not presume to touch a haire of my Masters horse-taile, till they kisse their hands. Are they all readie?

Cur. They are

Gru. Call them forth

Cur. Do you heare ho? you must meete my maister to countenance my mistris