Shakespeare Jest-Books Part 30

-- _Howe Alexander was monysshed to slee the fyrste that he mette._ lxvii.

-- Whan great Alexander wolde entre in to Perse lande with his armye, he counsayled with Apollo of his good spede:[251] and by lotte[252] he was warned, that he shulde commaunde to slee the fyrst that he mette, whan he issued out at a gate. Perchaunce, the fyrste that he mette was a man dryuynge an a.s.se before hym. Incontinent the kyng commaunded to take and put hym to dethe. Whan the poore man sawe, that they wolde slee him, he said: what haue I done? Shall I that am an innocent [man] be putte to deathe? Alexander, to excuse his dede, sayde, he was warned by diuine monition to commaunde to slee the fyrste that he mette comynge out at that gate. If it be so, myghty kyng (quod the man), than the lotte dyuine hath ordeyned an other to suffre this deth and not me: for the lytel a.s.se, that I droue before me, mette you fyrste.

Whiche subtyle sayenge greatly pleased Alexander: for elles he had done amysse; and so he caused the beaste to be slayne.

By this tale one may note, that it is better sometyme to be laste than fyrste.

FOOTNOTES:

[250] "Mal est cache a qui l'on void le dos."--Leigh's _Select French Proverbs_, 1664.

[251] Good fortune.

[252] Casting of lots.

-- _Howe the cite of Lamsac was saued from destruction._ lxviii.

-- As great Alexander on a tyme was fully purposed to haue vtterly distroyed a great cite, called Lamsac,[253] he sawe his mayster Anaximenes[254] come towarde him withoute the walles: and bicause the kynge perceyued manifestlye, that he came to entreate hym for the cite, he sware a great othe, that he wolde nat do that that he came to desyre hym fore. Than Anaximenes sayde: sir, I desyre your grace, that this same cite Lampsac may be vtterly distroyed. Through which sage and subtile sayeng the n.o.ble auncient citie was saued from ruyne and destruction.

FOOTNOTES:

[253] Lampsacus.

[254] Anaximenes, the historian, who wrote an account of the Life of Alexander the Great. He was a native of Lampsacus, and the nephew of the orator of the same name.

-- _Howe Demosthenes defended a mayde._ lxix.

-- There were two men on a time, the whiche lefte a great somme of money in kepyng with a maiden on this condition, that she shulde nat delyuer hit agayne, excepte they came bothe to gether for hit. Nat lang after, one of them cam to hir mornyngly arayde, and sayde that his felowe was deed, and so required the money, and she delyuered it to hym. Shortly after came the tother man, and required to haue the moneye that was lefte with her in kepyng. The maiden was than so sorowfull, both for lacke of the money, and for one to defende her cause, that she thought to hange her selfe. But Demosthenes, that excellent oratour, spake for her and sayd: sir, this mayden is redy to quite her fidelite,[255] and to deliuer agayne the money that was lefte with her in kepynge, so that thou wylt brynge thy felowe with the to resceyue it. But that he coude nat do.

-- _Of him that desired to be made a gentilman._ lxx.

-- There was a rude clubbysshe[256] felowe, that longe had serued the duke of Orliance; wherfore he cam on a tyme to the duke, and desired to be made a gentyll man. To whom the duke answered: in good feyth, I may well make the ryche, but as for gentyl man I can neuer make the.[257]

By which wordes appereth, that goodes and riches do not make a gentyl man, but n.o.ble and vertuous conditions do.

FOOTNOTES:

[255] _i.e._ Discharge, or acquit herself of, her trust.

[256] Uncouth. "If thou shuldest refuse to do any of these thynges, and woldest a.s.saye to do some thing of more sadnes and prudence, they wyll esteme and count the vnmanerly, _cloubbysshe_, frowarde, and clene contrarye to all mennes myndes."--Erasmus _De Contemptu Mundi_, transl.

by Thomas Paynel, 1533, fol. 42. "Rusticitie may seem to be an ignorance of honesty and comelinesse. A Clowne or rude fellow is he, who will goe into a crowd or presse, when he hath taken a purge: and hee that sayth, that Garlicke is as sweet as a gillifiower: that weares shooes much larger then his foot: that speakes alwaies very loud:"

&c.,--_Theophrastus His Characters_, translated by John Healey, 1616, pp. 15, 16. It is a generally received opinion that this work has come down to us in a corrupt shape.

[257] Times were altered when the curious ballad "These Knights will hack," printed by Mr. Halliwell from Addit. MS. 5832, in one of the Shakespeare Society's publications (_Marriage of Wit and Wisdom_, &c., p. 144), was directed against the mushroom-knights of James I.:--

"Come all you farmers out of the countrey, Carters, plowmen, hedgers, and all, Tom, d.i.c.k, and Will, Ralph, Roger, and Humphrey, Leave of your gestures rusticall. Bidde all your home-sponne russets adue, And sute yourselves in fashions new: Honour invits you to delights; Come all to court, and be made knights. He that hath fortie pounds per annum Shal be promoted from the plow: His wife shall take the wall of her grannam, Honour is sould so dog-cheap now," &c.

-- _Of the gentyll man and his shrewde wyfe._ lxxi.

-- There was a certayne gentyll man, that had a cursed chydynge wyfe, that wente euery day, and complayned on hym to a religious man, the whiche religious man toke vpon hym by weye of confession to reconcile and accorde them to gether: and the gentyll man was very well contente, that he so shulde do, and came to him therfore. Whan the gentyll man was come, the religious man badde hym shewe his offences and tres.p.a.ces. No, quod the gentyll man, that nedeth nat: for I knowe verye well my wyfe hath shewed vnto you all the offences that euer I dyd, and moche more.

-- _Of the two yonge men that rode to Walsyngham._[258] lxxii.

-- One John Roynoldes[259] rode oute of London vpon a tyme towarde Walsyngham, in company of a yonge man of the same cite, that hadde nat moche ben accustomed to ryde. So they came to an Inne, where a[260]

great companye was lodged. And in the mornynge whan euery man made hym redy to ryde, and some were on horsebacke setting forwarde, John Roynoldes founde his companion, syttynge in a browne study at the Inne gate, to whom he sayd: for shame, man, how syttest thou? Why doste thou nat make the redy to horsebacke, that we myght sette forwarde with companye? I tary (quod he) for a good cause. For what cause, quod Roynoldes? Marye (quod he), here be so many horses, that I can nat telle whiche is myne owne amonge the other, and I knowe well, whan euery man is riden and gone, the horse that remaineth behynde must nedes be myn.

FOOTNOTES:

[258] Consult the new edition of Nares' Glossary, voce _Walsingham_.

"This is an Image of oure Ladye. Ergo it is oure Ladye, and here she wyll worke wounders more than in an other place, as she dyd at Walsingham, at Boston, at Lincoln, at Ipswiche, and I cannot tell where."--Wilson's _Rule of Reason_, 1551, 8vo. sign S ii _verso_. In Percy's _Reliques_, ii. 91, is the ballad "As I went to Walsingham."

"Have with you to Walsingham" is mentioned as a musical composition in Ward's _Lives of the Professors of Gresham College_. See also Burney's _Hist. of Music_, iii. p. 111. When people employed this form of adjuration, as was formerly very common, they were said, for brevity's sake, "to swear Walsingham." In the play of _The Weakest Goeth to the Wall_, 1600, 4to. Barnaby Bunch the Botcher sings:

"King Richard's gone to Walsingham, To the Holy Land!"

with what are intended for comic interlocutions. In March, 1502--3, Elizabeth of York, consort of Henry VII, made an oblation of six shillings and eightpence to "oure lady of Walsingham" (_Privy Purse Expenses of Elizabeth of York_, edited by Nicolas, p. 3). This offering may not appear very large, but it was thought a considerable sum to devote to the purpose in those days; for in the _Northumberland Household Book_, ed. 1827, p. 337, we find that the yearly offering of the Earl of Northumberland (Henry Algernon Percy, 5th. Earl, b. 1478, d.

1527) to the same shrine was fourpence. There is a fuller account of the Shrine of Walsingham, &c., in Chappell's _Popular Music of the Olden Time_, 121, et seqq.

[259] It is just possible that this individual may be identical with the "John Reynolde" mentioned in the subjoined extract from the _Privy Purse Expenses of Elizabeth of York_, under date of December, 1502:--

"It[=m] the xvth day of Decembre, to John Reynolde for money by him payed to a man that broke a yong hors of the Quenes at Mortymer by the s.p.a.ce of v wekes, every weke iis. s[=m]. xs."

-- _Of the yonge man of Bruges, and his spouse._ lxxiii.