Shakespeare Jest-Books Part 29

And as Cicero, Persius, and Flaccus say: as many men so many myndes: as many heedes so many wyttes. That, that pleaseth one, displeaseth an other: Fewe alowe that that they loue nat: and that that a man aloweth, he thynketh good. Therfore the beste is, that euery man liue well, as a good Christen man shulde, and care nat for the vayne wordes and ianglynge of the people. For bablynge (as Plutarchus sayth) is a greuous disease, and harde to be remedied. For that that shulde heale it (which is wordes of wisdome) cureth them that harkneth there vnto; but pratlers wille here none but them selfe.

FOOTNOTES:

[241] Scarcely.

-- _Of him that sought his a.s.se and rode on his backe._ lx.

-- There was in the countrey of Florence an husbande man, that vsed to carye corne to the market vpon many lytell a.s.ses. On a tyme as he came home warde, bycause he was somewhat werye, to ease him selfe, he rode on one the strongest of them. And as he rode, dryuinge his a.s.ses before him, he counted them, and forgot the a.s.se that he rode on; wherfore he thought still that he lacked one. Thus sore troubled in his mynde, he bad his wyfe set vp his a.s.ses, and hastily rode agayne backe to the towne vii myles of, to seke the a.s.se that he rode on. He asked euery body that he met, if they sawe an a.s.se straye alone. Whan he herde euery bodye saye they sawe none suche, makynge great sorowe, he retourned home agayne. At laste, whan he was alyghted his wyfe parceyued and shewedde hym playnlye, that the a.s.se, that he rode on, was the same that he soughte, and made suche sorowe fore.

This ieste may be well applied vnto suche as note the defautes, that they lyghtly[242] spy in other, and take none hede, nor can nat se, what ils they haue or[243] bene spotted with them selfe.

-- _The answere of Fabius to Liuius._ lxi.

-- Whan Anniball, the capitayne of Cartage, had conquered Tarent (a towne perteinyng to the Romayns), all saue the castell, and had lefte a garnison to kepe it, whan the worthy Romayne Fabius had knowelege therof, he pryuely conducted an armye thether, and got the towne agayne, and pylled[244] it. Than M. Liuius that kepte the castell with the garnison, sayde bostynge him selfe, that Fabius had gotte the towne through him and his helpe. You saye trouth, quod Fabius: for if you had nat loste the towne, I shulde neuer haue gotte hit.[245]

FOOTNOTES:

[242] Readily. A story very like this occurs in _A Sackful of Newes_, 1673. It was originally related by Poggius in his Facetiae, where it is ent.i.tled _Asinus Perditus_, and it has been imitated by La Fontaine in the fable of "Le Villageois qui cherche son veau." It is also the 12th tale of _Les Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles_.

[243] Before.

[244] Pillaged.

-- _The answere of Poltis, the kynge of Thrace, to the Troyan emba.s.sadors._[246] lxii.

-- Plutarche lyke wyse reherseth that, durynge the warre of Troy, the Grekes and also the Troians sent amba.s.sadours to a kynge of Thrace calledde Poltis, whiche kynge answered th amba.s.sadours and bade, that Alexandre shulde delyuer agayne Helayne (for she was the cause of the warre), and he wolde gyue him ii fayre wyues for her.

FOOTNOTES:

[245] "Now there was one _Marcus Livius_, a ROMAINE that was Gouernour of TARENTUM at that time when _Hanniball_ tooke it, and neverthelesse kept the castell still out of _Hannibals_ hands, and so held it untill the city came againe into the hands of the ROMAINES. This _Livius_ spited to see such honour done to _Fabius_, so that one day in open Senate, being drowned with enuy and ambition, he burst out and said, that it was himselfe, not _Fabius_, that was cause of taking of the city of TARENTUM again. _Fabius_, smiling to hear him, answeryd him opely: 'Indeed, thou saiest true, for if thou hadst not lost it, I had never won it again.'"--Plutarch's _Lives_, transl. by Sir T. North, ed. 1603, fol. 192.

[246] [Greek: Poltus, ho Thrakon basileus en to Troiko polemo presbeusamenon pros auton hama ton Troon kai ton Achaion, ekeleuse ton Alexandron apodonta ten Helenen, duo par autou labein kalas gynaikas.]--Plutarchi _Apothegmata_ (Opera Moralia et Philosophica, vol.

vi. p. 665, edit. Lipsiae, 1777).

-- _The wyse answere of Hanibal to kynge Antiochus, concerninge his ryche armye._ lxiii.

-- Whan kynge Antiochus had prepared to make warre to the Romayns, he caused his armye to mustre before Anniball. So they shewed and mustred, both horse men and fote men; of whose ryche and sumptuous armour and apparaile al the felde glistred and shone. How saye you, quod the kynge to Hanibal, is nat this armye sufficient ynough for the Romayns? Yes, quod Haniball, and though they were the moste couetous of all the worlde. The kynge mente one thing, and he answered an other.[247]

-- _The wordes of Popilius the Romayn emba.s.sadour to Antiochus the kynge._ lxiiii.

-- One C. Popilius was sente vp[o]n a tyme by the Senatours of Rome with letters to Antiochus the kynge of Syrye, wherin the kyng was commaunded to calle his armye backe agayne oute of Aegipte: and that he shulde suffer the chyldren of Ptolome and theyr realme in peace. As th emba.s.sadour came by the kynges tentes and pauylyons, Antiochus a good waye of saluted him, but he did nat salute the kynge agayne, but delyuered to him his letters. Whan the kynge hadde redde the letters, he sayde, that he muste take counsayle, before he made him an answere.

Popilius, with a rod that he had in his hande, made a compace aboute the kynge, and sayde: euen here standinge, take counsayle, and make me an answere. Euery man hadde meruayle at the grauite and stout stomacke of the man; and whan Antiochus was contente to do as the Romayns wolde haue hym, than Popilius both saluted and embraced him.[248]

FOOTNOTES:

[247] See the 21st Novel of the 1st tome of the _Palace of Pleasure_ (Haslewood's edit. i. 74).

-- _Of him that loued the marchants wyfe._ lxv.

-- Ther was a yonge l.u.s.ty gentyll man vpon a tyme that was ryght amorous, and loued a certayne marchauntes wyfe oute of all measure, in so moch that he folowed her to the churche and other places, but he durste neuer speake. At the laste he, with two or thre of his felowes, folowed her to a fryers, where he hadde tyme and place conueniente to speake thre or four wordes to her, that he before had deuysed. So one of his felowes sayde: go nowe, speake to her. But he stode styll all astonied. They egged[249] and prouoked him so moche, that at last he wente vnto her, and, clene forgettynge those wordes that he had thoughte to haue spoken, he said to her on this wise: maistres, I am your owne lytel seruante; wherat she smyled and sayd: syr, I nede nat your seruyce: for I haue seruantes inow at home, that can brusshe, sponge, wa.s.she and do all my other busines. The whiche answere and folysshe ba.s.shemente of the gentyl man caused his felowes to laugh hartelye. This maner of folye was well knowen to the poet, whan he sayde:

_Incipit affari, mediaque in voce resist.i.t._

Folysshe loue maketh folkes astonied And eke to raue without remembrance Whan they shulde speake, they bene aba.s.shed And of theyr wordes can make none vtterance Nor be so hardye them selfe to auance What tyme they se of her the swete face Of whom the loue theyr hartes doth enbrace.

FOOTNOTES:

[248] "Quibus perlectis, quum se consideraturum, adhibitis amicis, quid faciendum sibi esset, dixisset, Popilius, pro cetera asperitate animi, virga, quam in manu gerebat, circ.u.mscripsit regem: ac, 'Priusquam hoc circulo excedas,' inquit, 'redde responsum, senatui quod referam.'

Obstupefactus tam violento imperio parumper quum haesita.s.set, 'Faciam,'

inquit 'quod censet Senatus.' Tun demum Popilius dextram regi, tanquam socio atque amico, porrexit."--Livy, lib. xlv. c. 12, edit. Twiss.

[249] Edged.

-- _Of the woman that couerd her heed and shewed her taile._ lxvi.

-- As a woman, that for a certayne impedimente had shaued her heed, sat in her house bare heed, one of her neighbours called her forth hastely into the strete, and for haste she forgotte to putte on her kerchefe.

When her neighbour sawe her so, she blamed her for cominge abrode bare heed: wherfore she whypte vp her clothes ouer her heed. And so to couer her hed she shewed her * * *. They, that stode by, beganne to laugh at her folysshenes, whiche to hyde a lytell faute shewed a greatter.[250]

This tale touchethe them, that wolde couer a smalle offence with a greatter wyckednesse; and as the prouerbe saythe: s...o...b..e at a strawe, and leape ouer a blocke.