Saar: Stardust And Shadows Part 28

"Good night. We leave early tomorrow so enjoy yourselves." Varian smiled then headed for the bedroom where Jana awaited him.

From her position at a window, Jana heard the door open then close. She couldn't imagine how she was going to feel when they looked at each other with so much torment between them. She saw his reflection in the gla.s.slike material. His image grew larger and clearer as he approached. Her heart fluttered while her stomach played host to countless active b.u.t.terflies. She trembled but didn't turn. Her gaze took in his sable hair and handsome face. Somehow, she hadn't expected to react in this instantly weakened way. In light of the predicament he had put her in, she had a.s.sumed anger would be her predominant emotion. It wasn't.

"h.e.l.lo, Moonbeam, I'm back. I spoke with Grandfather earlier. He, Brec, and Draco can't stop singing praises for your work with Faeroe and Taemin. Neither can Kagan. It seems you've made a conquest there. He told me I would be a fool if I didn't do whatever it took to keep you."

A romantic and stirring attack on my warring senses right off the bat. Don't let him disarm and enchant you before he's proven himself. "How did things go on Caguas?" she asked. She kept her back to him as she tried to master her wayward feelings and cool the desire that flamed within her.

"No problem. Taemin stayed around to answer a few questions, so we wouldn't track him down. Of course he loudly proclaimed his innocence. I told him he was free to leave but that Star Fleet might want to speak with him again considering that recent trouble on his ship and Luz. The fire at the mine was minor and repairs are under way. It went off without suspicion pointing at us. We're one step closer to completing our task."

Afterward? she wanted to ask but didn't. "What about those threats Taemin made against you and Tirol to Ryker? Did you question him about that part and about his plot against Maffei? Since you and Ryker made peace, it wouldn't appear odd for him to have warned you of treachery."

"I didn't mention any of that to Taemin. Telling me about a threat to me and Grandfather was only a trick to make sure I was lured into his trap. He wouldn't have added that enticement if he hadn't believed I was Varian."

"Are you sure it was a trick and he won't attack you two?"

Varian warmed as he a.s.sumed she was worried about them. "Yes, and he couldn't succeed if he tried. Maal told me as Ryker that he hadn't been the one to tell Taemin we were on the Wanderl.u.s.t. That proved to me and him it was Ca.s.s's traitorous doing. The way it stands, neither Maal nor Taemin will trust her or help her again. With Ryker gone, too, that leaves Ca.s.s without allies and sanctuary. She'll be caught soon."

"She could have allies elsewhere. She's clever and surely desperate by now. All she has to do is move to another galaxy and hide out until it's safe to sneak back for more malicious mischief. Or she can do as you did: alter her appearance and stroll around as free as she pleases."

Varian placed his hands on her arms to stroke them but felt her stiffen. He dropped them to his sides and said, "I won't let her get away with all her vicious crimes."

Jana wished she could fall into his arms and forget the dark past, but it wasn't that simple. She felt a desperation of her own to stop him from a.s.sailing her senses before they settled matters between them. To do so, she said, "You may have no choice. You do recall that frequently used statement and condition, don't you?" When he didn't defend himself or respond, she asked, "Do we leave in the morning for Maal's as planned?"

Varian had expected her reserve and coolness. He was disappointed to learn he had been right. "Yes, if that suits you."

"The sooner we get this over with, the better."

A short and heavy silence ensued. Varian worried over her frigid mood. Before leaving to dispose of Ryker's body, he had believed he was making progress with her. Their last night together had been glorious, and their farewell had been genial. It was apparent he either had been wrong, misled, or something had changed her mind during his absence. What? Or was it whom? Had the lies Jana was forced to tell Andrea become too real? Had Andrea told Jana that Varian couldn't possibly love her and do the things he had done? Had Jana broken her vow of silence and turned Andrea against him as Ryker and Varian? The redhead had been charming, but she had looked at him oddly when they spoke, he recalled. Had it been a grave mistake to allow their reunion at this delicate time?

"What about Shara's body?" she inquired to break the tension.

"It's been buried here. If we have need of it later, we can exhume it. If not, Darkar will be her final and secret resting place for all eternity. I have agents checking on what Taemin said about Ca.s.s being on Zenufia. If she is, we'll try for extradition. I'm sure they will hand her over to us. I did give Taemin a strong warning about his threats to you; he's been ordered to stay out of this area and away from Darkar. For now, he'll obey."

"How did you manage your change back to yourself without Tris? What about the crew on the ship that picked you and Nigel up? Did they see you as Ryker? Do they now know the truth?"

"Brec came for me with an android crew. No one else is the wiser and it will remain that way, Moonbeam. I was disguised when I left the mine and when I entered Star Base. A specialist in the med complex there reversed Tris's work on me, then had his task blocked from his memory."

"That's a relief. Thank you for taking those precautions. The fewer who know about your ruse with me the better."

Jana turned to look at him, a.s.sured she was strong and calm enough to do so by then. Her heart rate speeded up again. She warmed from head to toe. Her body, heart, and mind responded to him. There was a roguish gleam in his molten gaze and a broad smile on his sensuous lips. His wide shoulders and stalwart chest were concealed in a wine dress uniform with gold markings. Stripes banded each wrist with a star on either side of them. A gold sunburst was placed over his left chest muscle. He exuded an undeniable and irresistible aura of strength, power, and pa.s.sion. He was totally magnetic and she was drawn to him.

Jana's wits reeled as she viewed the perfect male who was enslaving her will and leaving her without the power to resist him. The storm raging within her body threatened to wash her away in its flood of potent desire. A warming glow pulsed through her womanhood and she scolded herself for feeling in this wanton way. He was a tower of masculinity, and she had to break his hypnotic hold over her. She told herself it was s.e.xual attraction, but she knew it was more, much more. "He did an excellent job. You're perfect."

He a.s.sumed bringing others in on the ruse had been her concern and what had changed her mood, as she appeared to relax a little after his response. "Thank you," he murmured, aware of how they were affecting each other. He yearned to yank her into his arms and cover her with kisses. He wanted her to forgive him, to let him make things right.

As he smiled, she remarked, "You even got the creases back near your eyes and mouth. And that s.e.xy cleft in your chin seems unchanged."

"I'm glad you're pleased. The hardest part was extracting that green dye. For a while, I feared I was going to be stuck for life with blue lenses."

Jana studied his sapphire eyes. "I think not. The shade is perfect. They look the same color they used to be."

"How are you doing after your difficult tasks here?"

"They were scary, but they worked with Kagan's help and advice."

"He gives you the credit, Moonbeam."

"That was nice of him. He's a good agent for the Alliance."

"Andrea and Nigel were so glad to see each other," Varian observed. "You'd think they'd been apart for months instead of two days."

"Lovestruck couples behave that way."

He hoped that wasn't a clue to her feelings. "I like her, Jana. She's quite a woman, as you are."

"It's been wonderful having her here. Thank you."

"Any problems with her or the cover story?" he asked, and was pleased at her negative response. He changed his line of questioning abruptly. "I suppose she dislikes me after what you told her. She gave me a strange look when I saw her earlier."

"That's only natural; she was seeing and meeting Varian Saar for the first time. She's only met Ryker until tonight. Remember?"

"In a way, I'd forgotten. Nigel introduced us and we chatted for a short time. Perdition, Varian Saar shouldn't be in here with you!"

"Don't tell me you made a slip for once?"

"Absolutely. That shows how easy mistakes are made."

"Don't worry; I told her I wanted to see you in private."

"In your bedroom?"

"Why not, brother-in-law?" she replied, stressing their relationship.

"But I just smiled, spoke a few words, and strolled past her."

"After she told you I was waiting for you in here, right?"

"Yes, but I didn't even ask for directions."

"In your brother's home, it shouldn't be necessary."

"It'll be suspicious, Moonbeam."

"No, it won't. Besides, I'm sure she's too captivated by Nigel to notice anything unusual-even your good looks and charms, Rogue Saar. Relax, it's natural for my best friend to be curious about my captor and ex-lover. I did tell her I had exaggerated my feelings for Ryker so she'd understand why I'm not consumed by grief overmy husband's loss. I'm afraid I couldn't fool her that far. Others, yes; Andrea, no. She's been very understanding."

Another short period of silence took place as if each was waiting for the other to select their next topic.

Finally, Varian said, "I've run out of small talk and reports, woman."

"So have I. If that's all, I'll take a bath. We leave early tomorrow."

Varian perceived that something else was bothering her. Perhaps seeing him as his old self reminded her of the charges of deceit against him. She was clearly as moved by their close proximity as he was, but still she was distant and cautious. He decided it might be best not to pressure her tonight about her feelings for him. "I've already checked things with Kagan to make sure we'll be ready to leave on time. We should get a good night's sleep. We'll travel at starlight speed and be there fast. During the voyage, you can ask any questions you may have and we can practice our next ruse."

"Fine." She headed toward the bathroom.

"I suppose a welcome-home kiss is out of the question, so I'll be a gentleman and let you escape my snare for a while."

She halted and gave a mocking bow. "How gallant of you."

"I see you're still testy and moody."

"With just cause, you s.p.a.ce pirate." I'm pregnant with your child.

Varian was surprised when she grinned and used a mellow tone. He did the same. "At least I have some kind of affect on you, Moonbeam."

In an exaggerated southern drawl and with lashes fluttering to ease the tension, she purred a seductive, "See you later."

"I'll see you in the morning, love. Good night."

Jana looked at him as she headed for the door. She read reluctance to leave her in his voice and movements. "Where are you going? It's late. We have an early departure time and busy schedule ahead. We need our rest. I'm sure the others have turned in and aren't expecting a visit and chat with you tonight."

"I can't stay here, Moonbeam."

"It may be your last chance to dazzle me for a long time. And how can you pa.s.s my test if you don't take it?"

Varian was tempted to stay but thought it too risky. "I'm not Ryker anymore. I'm Varian now." "So?"

"What will the others think? You're Ryker's widow."

"Everyone here knows the truth, except Andrea," she fibbed. "By now she's totally consumed with Nigel and will be none the wiser."

"My ship is...o...b..ting Darkar, Moonbeam. What about my crew?"

"Tell them you're staying in the shuttle complex because it's late for a return flight and you'd have to make another trip down early tomorrow. You have Nigel, Tris, Martella, and Kagan present to ward off gossip."

"My crew doesn't know anyone's here except Nigel. Tris and Martella are supposedly on leave somewhere. They don't know Agent Kagan. We did tell them about Andrea and Nigel, so it's fine for him to stay."

She shrugged. "Suit yourself, Rogue Saar; you always do. As for me, my bath is waiting."

Varian couldn't help but say he would make his report and return soon.

Jana grinned and jested, "A wise decision, Commander."

Jana watched Varian leave the bathroom after a quick shower and shave to join her in the large bed that seemed deceptively small. He radiated heat and enticement as he drew her to him. If the bold idea she was planning to use failed ... Don't think about that now, J.G., just test his feelings and yours.

Jana gravitated toward him until her yearning body made contact with his. A full moon was in a direct angle overhead to cast light through the clear dome roof; it illuminated them in a romantic glow. Their gazes met. She saw him smile, an almost shy and nervous one. Jana let her eyes roam his face. Her hand seemed to lift of its own volition to allow her fingers to trace the cleft in his chin and trail over his lips.

Jana propped her elbow on the mattress and rested her chin on a balled fist. Moonlight played over Varian's features; it glowed in his sapphire eyes; it shone on his ebony hair and on his white teeth. Her body came to life and a fiery flush teased over her from head to foot. His hair was tousled and that stubborn lock was out of place again, one of the clues which had originally caused her to suspect he wasn't Ryker. It made him appear rakish and s.e.xy, as did his expression. The concealing sheet did not come higher than his waist, baring his naked chest to her scrutiny. His tanned flesh was unmarred, soft and sleek over hard muscles and strong bones. She wanted to lay her head there and listen to his heart beat with vitality, life, and hopefully with love for her.

She did not speak as her gaze and hands communicated with him. Varian Saar possessed the most potent magnetism and enchanting power she had ever encountered, and sometimes it alarmed her to see and feel the enormous force of his irresistible magic. She felt tension and suspense laced with antic.i.p.ation and desire mounting within her, within him, and between them.

Varian was alert and perceptive. Eagerness and pleasant surprise washed over his body and danced within his heart. Her gaze said she wanted him and was reaching out to him. She was like a tractor beam pulling him toward her; he couldn't refuse to obey and didn't want to refuse. He wanted to whisk her away in his ship of love and carry them to a safe port among the stars to live forever as one. As he gazed into her limpid eyes of blue, green, and violet, he did not battle the multicolored currents that were setting him adrift in a sector of wonder. He didn't move or speak, just basked in the radiant glow of her admiring gaze that ignited his pa.s.sions to a glorious height.

Varian sent his eyes on a voyage over her exquisite terrain. Her tawny hair flowed over the arm bracing her head, spilled over his right arm, and pooled on the bed. No features could be more perfectly sized or shaped to enhance her beauty and appeal. Her rosy lips were parted as if in invitation to him to capture and sample them. Her golden complexion was unblemished and was as soft as Mailiorcan silk. Her dark-blond hair was like gentle waves on Zamarra with sunlight sparkling off of them and brightening certain strands. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Yet, her beauty was more than physical; it was all parts of Jana Greyson combined.

The alien commander's heart thudded with emotion and need. She caused him to lose sight and reality of all except her. He feared doing or saying the wrong thing at this delicate moment in their relationship. He wanted everything to be perfect for her and for them from this day onward. He wanted to win back her heart and her trust. He craved every part of this unique woman, far more than just her body. This could be her decision-making time, their destiny-sealing episode; and he didn't want to hinder, destroy, or rush it.

Unable to keep from touching her any longer, Varian's quivering fingers slipped into her shiny hair and pleasured themselves in its fullness. He watched her shut her eyes, lean her head into his palm, and nuzzle it. His hand eased behind her head and pulled it downward so his lips could brush kisses over her features, flawless flesh that was fragrant and beckoning. With leisure and delight, he trailed his lips over her forehead, brows, temples, eyes, nose, cheeks, and chin, then finished his exploration at her mouth where he fastened his to hers in a search for splendor.

At first, the kiss was slow and gentle. After she snuggled closer and clasped his face between her hands, the next ones became fast and deep and exposed intense longings in both of them. He groaned in urgent need for her and embraced her with possessiveness. She moaned in matching need. Their tongues touched, savored, and teased. Their hands joined their sensuous and heady quests as they delved into the magic which enthralled and united two hearts from two distant worlds. It was as if they were striving to strengthen a predestined bond. It was Varian and Jana in each other's arms without another man's image between them, together at last.

Jana rolled to her back as if on cue. Varian's seeking mouth wandered down the satiny column of her neck. His teeth nibbled with gentleness at her collarbone. His tongue played in the hollow of her throat. His mouth suckled at her earlobe. The tickling sensation and her pulsing joy caused her to laugh and wiggle.

He whispered in a husky tone filled with deep emotion, "I love you, Jana. I want you to be mine, all mine, forever. I want your name to become Jana Saar as soon as possible. Every day this mission gets harder because it's keeping us apart. Please don't let me lose you because of it. Please trust me and stand by me, stand with me for all eternity. I swear on the stars I love you with all my heart. Eons can pa.s.s and that truth will never change."

Varian had difficulty breathing and speaking in his aroused and worried state. He had trouble thinking, moving, holding still. His body felt heavy, yet light. He was uncertain of her decision, yet sure she loved him and wanted him. He was tense, yet relaxed and enlivened. He lifted his head to gaze into her glowing eyes. He wished she would reply in the affirmative about her own feelings. He knew she had just cause to doubt and distrust him. He knew he must be patient and loving to guide them back to where they had been that night on the Wanderl.u.s.t before this ruse threatened to tear them apart. He prayed his skills and experiences were sufficient to accomplish his goal of winning peace and holding on to Jana. He wanted to restrain his cravings long enough to give her rapturous pleasure and immense satisfaction, long enough to show her his desire for her was far more than physical.

Varian's lips captured hers as his hand slipped down her torso and covered one breast. As his tongue invaded her mouth and tasted its sweet response and minty flavor, he caressed the fleshy mound and thumbed the taut peak on it. He felt the bud grow harder and was amazed by the contrast in the rigidity of the point and the softness of its base. He trailed his mouth down her throat and closed it over the nipple, then hovered over one then the other, at first simply brushing them with his lips, then stopping to lavish moist attention there.

Jana felt his hands and mouth working blissful magic on her and dazing her wits. Her spinning senses lost awareness of all except him and their lovemaking. Her hands roamed his bare torso, sliding with leisure and delight over his back, shoulders, and arms. Her fingers dipped into the depression of his spine and tracked each connection until she could reach no further. She stroked his firm b.u.t.tocks, glided up his hips, over his lean waist, across the ripples of his rib cage, and wandered between them to a furry chest.

Jana loved everything and anything he did to her: each caress, each kiss, each unspoken promise of what was yet to come. Her teeth nipped at his shoulders and neck. She waxed between tension and relaxation. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s responded wildly to his lips and fingers as his tongue circled and flicked the rosy-brown flowers now in full bloom. The core of her womanhood tingled and pulsed with pleasure and with rising need. Her reactions encouraged and urged him to continue his conquest. Fiery blood raced through her, heating her to a feverish level and burning away all inhibitions and reservations for now. Every inch he touched was sensitive, susceptible, alive, pleading.

Varian had t.i.tillated her and restrained himself for as long as he could endure the blissful torment which surged through him. At last he slipped between her parted thighs, kissing her as he slid inside her silken heat.

Jana's legs curled over his as she matched his rhythm and speed. Time pa.s.sed as they labored with love, pleasure, and unsteady control.

"Be mine, Moonbeam, tonight and forever."

As Jana moaned and squirmed, Varian knew she was reaching her climax. He was glad because he could hold back no longer. He continued to thrust and retreat until they were left limp in each other's embrace. As sated and content as he, she nestled into his arms and they shared tender kisses.

Jana closed her eyes and imagined their child's appearance. A boy would look like his father, as she'd been told was the genetic pattern in this alien world. But what about a female? Would a girl also favor Varian? Would her Earthling genes be totally dominated by his potent ones? A baby ... Their baby ... How would he react when she told him? She couldn't do so before their trip, and it was mostly for the reasons she had told Tris, Andrea, and Martella. She did have to safeguard their lives, which a lack of concentration and worry could endanger. If he was told and he refused to imperil her and his baby with a trip to Maal's, the charade could require longer to complete, time she-no, the baby-didn't have, not without causing its paternity to be questioned. But the main reason for keeping her secret was to control the timing of her demand; it had to be issued when it could be carried out by him. She also wanted and needed a short span with Varian as himself. Only then could she determine if she could trust him and a future together was possible. Until such time, she could not confess she still loved and wanted him. Her bold demand, it would come as soon as they returned from Maal's.

The following morning while their things were being loaded on the shuttle, Andrea couldn't stop talking about Varian. "Wow, Jana, he's magnificent! No G.o.d could have designed him better. He's so nice, too, Jana, utterly charming. I see why you were dazzled by him."

"But is he trustworthy, my friend? So far, I haven't had good luck with men, so maybe I'm a bad judge of character. Look what happened with Alex and Ryker, and now with Varian. Maybe using women and being dishonest with them are flaws men can't help."

"Varian Saar doesn't strike me as having many flaws or weaknesses, but I don't know him as well as you do."

"I'm not sure I know him, either."

"How did it go last night between you two?"

"Fine. But please pretend you don't know he stayed with me. You didn't drop any hints to Nigel, did you?"

The redhead giggled. "Of course not, Bootsy."

"My heavens, Andrea, it's been a long time since I heard that nickname. I thought I had outgrown it when I stopped clopping around in Father's cowboy boots."