Running On Empty Part 18

"Haaaah-low...no you wouldn't."

With everyone laughing, I shift the car into drive. I find myself tuning them out as I think about Blake leaving. I know he had every right to leave. He waited so long to be honest with me about his feelings, and the first chance I had, I said things I honestly didn't even believe, just to push him away. He told me once how he respected my strength, but in that moment, I was nothing but a coward. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't forgive me. But... I have to try. I have to know that I did everything I could to get him back. And, just like he did with me, I'll lay it all out there for him to make the decision.

It seems the tables have officially been turned.

Using her voucher, Harlow books the red eye from Dallas/Fort Worth International to Denver International Airport, which doesn't leave us a whole lot of time since Dallas is only about an hour and a half from Waco. Denver is the best option because Blake lives in Aurora, which is only twenty minutes away. I plan on taking a cab to his house, and I pray things go well...because that's about as far as I've planned in advance. With my knack of thinking things to death, I figure it's better to leave this one to chance. I can always spend the night in the airport if I need to. The key will be finding a cab that late at night.

Ahhh... Stop thinking Alex!

While Nycole is putting the final touches on our plan, I throw some extra clothes in a bag. I pack the essentials...toothbrush. Yep, that's it. I throw a little makeup on so I don't look like the walking dead when I make my psychotic stalker grand entrance at his house around midnight.

What if he has someone there? Taking a seat on the bed, I suddenly feel like I'm going to throw up beef and broccoli all over my comforter. Oh.My.G.o.d. What if he does?

"Stop thinking, Alex." Harlow whips into the room, grabs my bag off the floor, and chunks it in my lap. Not helping with the nausea. "You need to go, you're barely gonna make it as is. You have almost a two hour drive and check in. Get off your a.s.s and in your truck now!"

"Harlow what if he has someone there...you know...like there, there." The nausea is slowly creeping into my throat.

"Stop it! Not going to happen. He loves you, Alex. Stop trying to talk yourself out of it. Check in with Nycole, make sure it's done, and get going. You're going to miss your chance...and I'm gonna be p.i.s.sed if I lose my voucher because of this. It isn't often that I find myself being charitable...don't make me regret it! Now go!"

She is kind of starting to scare me with her yelling, so I s.n.a.t.c.h the bag and throw it over my shoulder. "Alright! I'm going!"

I walk into the living room and Nycole shows me the finished product. I clasp my hands together, "Nycole, it's perfect!" I place it in my bag and give her a hug. "I love you, Nycole. I couldn't have done this without you. But remember, if it doesn't go well, this is about doing the right thing. Not about bringing him back, okay?"

She unwraps her arms from my around my neck and puts her hands on her hips. "It's going to be fine, mom. Like I said, he loves you and you love him. Everything will be fine. And if not, it wasn't meant to be." Jeez this kid and her infinite wisdom. She totally gets it from me.

I give her a quick kiss on the forehead. "Thank you. I love you, baby."

"Love you too, Mom. You better get going or Harlow is really going to start yelling. Or have a heart attack." I can't help but laugh. She's completely right.

"Kyndall! Rylie! Mommy's leaving and I need some hugs!"

I hear a bedroom door slam then their loud footsteps as they run down the hall. I watch Rylie's eyes light up with excitement as she enters the room.

"Do you think he'll like his present, Mommy?" I bend down and scoop her into my arms. "Of course he will baby. You helped make it. He'll love it!"

She gives me a big grin and all I can see are the divots in her cheeks where her dimples are. I push her curly hair away from her face. Strands of it stick to her mouth from the ice cream she ate earlier. Licking my thumb, I wipe the remainder of the chocolate off her face. "I love you, you messy little thing!"

Giggling she shouts, "Love you too, Mommy!" I set her down and watch her and her hair run wildly around the living room. Turning to Kyndall, I pull her close to my side.

"I'm going to miss you, Mama." I can tell she's a little worried about me leaving. I crouch down and stroke her cheek. "I'm gonna miss you too, sweetheart. But, I'll be back before you know it. I promise." I kiss her forehead and put my hand on her shoulder. "I need you to help Harlow with Rylie tonight. She's acting like a crazy person. Just look at her."

We both watch Rylie take her shirt off and swing it around over her head. Kyndall looks at me, eyes wide. "See, Kyndall. She's nuts." Kyndall giggles and I give her another quick squeeze. "Can you help with her, because Harlow's kinda going crazy tonight and I don't think she can handle much more of naked Rylie." Right on cue, Harlow yells from my bedroom, "Go! You're going to be late!" I roll my eyes and turn back to Kyndall. "I love you, baby. I'll be back soon." I get up and kiss the top of her head.

"Alright, Harlow! I'm out!" Harlow comes out of the bedroom. She hooks her arm in mine and walks with me to the door with all three girls following closely behind. I turn to her and give her a tight hug.

"I've got this, Alex. Don't worry. Nancy already told me she would swing by in the morning. We'll take the kids and she'll drop me off at work. We've got everything covered. Just go to him, sweetie. This is your second chance; don't waste it."

I pull back from our embrace. "I love you, Harlow. Thank you. For everything. I owe you so much, more than you can possibly imagine." Harlow gives me a quick wink. "Don't worry, I'm keeping a tab."

I give her another quick hug and whisper in her ear, "Oh and no sleepovers with Trace...wh.o.r.e." She laughs and then releases her arms from around my shoulders.

Looking down at the girls, she instructs, "Tell Mommy goodbye and good luck."

"Goodbye!"

"Good luck!"

"We'll miss you!"

I lift my bag up onto my shoulder. "I love you all. I'll see you soon, okay?"

I turn and walk to my car; the door shuts softly behind me. I hear the girls giggle loudly, scream, and then run. Yeah, I don't think they'll miss me too much.

Throwing my bag in the pa.s.senger's seat, I exhale a cleansing breath. I can do this. I have to do this. I will do this.

I've already lost one good man during my lifetime. I'll be d.a.m.ned if I'm going to lose another one.

After the two hour flight that seemed to land way too quickly, I find myself hailing a cab in the front of the airport. My nerves are at an all time high. While waiting for the cab, and holding the world's smallest, now crumpled up, piece of paper with Blake's address, I can't stop tapping my foot. The same d.a.m.n foot that started tapping when I boarded the plane and the realization hit me that I pa.s.sed the point of no return.

I think my shin is cramping.

A cab finally decides to stop for me and I climb in, handing him the paper. I close the door and rehea.r.s.e the speech in my head. I decide to stop going over it when the cabbie looks at me in the mirror like I'm crazy. I guess mouthing it while rehearsing isn't such a good idea. I remain quiet the rest of the ride.

Soon after, the cab begins to slow, and I take my first look at Blake Morgan's home. It's actually really cute. It's in a nice suburban neighborhood and has red brick with white siding. There's a big oak tree in the front and I notice the lawn's well kept...he must have a regular crew considering how long he was in Texas.

Looking down at my watch, I cringe.

12:37 AM. Alex Meyer. Psycho Stalker.

Oh well...here goes nothing.

I tip toe as I walk onto the porch. I'm not really sure why, since I'm about to wake him. I guess it's a habit I developed from toilet papering Ashley Thompson's house with Harlow. I wipe the sweat from my palms on my pants and raise my fist to knock on the door. Taking in a final deep breath, I say a little prayer and knock quickly. This whole situation seems very familiar.

I wait for a couple of seconds. Nothing. I knock again and wait. Still nothing. I lean over to look in his driveway. His bike is parked by the garage. Getting frustrated, and cold I dressed for Texas weather, dumb I ring the doorbell the same way Rylie would, at least twenty times in a row.

I cover my mouth in nervous excitement when I hear Blake stomping down what sounds like stairs and approaching the door. The porch light comes on momentarily blinding me. I think quick and cover the peep hole with my finger. Which is pointless, because I soon see Blake move the curtains aside on his front window. I give him a hesitant wave.

"Alex?" I can hear the aggravation in the tone of his voice. I guess this is a bad time to start having second thoughts? "What in the h.e.l.l are you doing here?"

Here we go.

"Freezing my a.s.s off. Let me in, Blake. I need to talk to you." I start jumping around in place to keep warm. I hear the locks turning and then he cracks open the door.

"Go back home, Alex. I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry you came all the way here for nothing. But I have nothing else to say to you. I've moved on...just like I said I would. You've made your decision. Now please, go."

Ouch. That was a little rougher than what I expected.

"Really, Blake? Where am I going to go? Seriously, let me in." Before he can refuse, I push my body up against the door, once again placing my foot in the doorjamb to keep him from being able to close it. I take both hands and push them through the crack of the door, making sure to keep one set of my fingers extended while the other wraps around the side. "My fingers are in the door, Blake! Just letting you know so we can avoid any unnecessary injuries! It would be really s.h.i.tty for you to break my hand again!" Even pushing with all my strength the door doesn't budge. "Just open the d.a.m.n door!" I give it one last push and the door flies open.

I immediately fall forward and almost land on the floor when I feel Blake's arms wrap around my waist from behind to keep me from falling. As he pulls me up, I can feel the current flowing between our bodies. I sink into him without realizing it. The only reason I know is because as soon as he sets me back on my feet, he steps away and the weight I was putting on him causes me to stumble back a bit. I correct my balance and turn to look at him.

"Necessary? Do we have to do this every time? All I'm asking for is five minutes of your time then I'm gone. That's it." I watch as he shuts the door. He turns back to me. "Clock's ticking, Alex."

Oh, the pressure.

"Well, I was planning on longer than five minutes actually, so I'll have to give you the shortened version I guess. It's not the one I rehea.r.s.ed on the way over here so bear with me." Nervous rambling. Nice.

Obviously annoyed, he crosses his arms over his chest and shifts his weight to his other leg.

"Okay, so, I came here to tell you I'm sorry. For everything. I never really gave you an honest chance. I know that now. I think in the back of my mind, I was waiting for something to happen so I could push you away. It just happened sooner than later. And I'm sorry for that."

He doesn't say anything so I continue.

"Blake, you deserve so much better than me. The way I treated you in the past, up until how I treated you a couple of weeks ago...I'll understand if you choose to move on after this conversation, but I need you to know something before you do. I need you to know that you make me feel whole. Before you came back, I was empty. Completely empty. I thought I could live like that but I was wrong. You have given me hope that I can be happy again. That I can love again. That I can feel again. The warmth I feel when I'm around you...it soothes my soul. You have given me life again. Your love fills my heart with such joy; I can't even put it into words."

I take a step forward to gauge his reaction. He steps back. Okay more convincing needed.

"I love you, Blake. I love you and I don't want to lose you. So I had to come here and fight for what I love. I want you. I want you in my life every day. I want to kiss you every day. I want to fall in love with you, over and over, every day. I want to live the rest of my life showing you how grateful I am that you saved me. You saved me from allowing myself to live a life with no emotion. No happiness. And I'll live everyday in debt to you for that. So if you don't choose me, I get it. I understand. But I had to come here and tell you face to face that I love you. And that I don't mind needing your help for the rest of my life." I say the last sentence with a smile.

When I finish my speech, I take a step backwards. I take off my jacket to show him the last ditch effort to get him back. I chuckle to myself, watching the glitter as it falls onto the floor. Nycole loves her glitter.

"The girls and I made you something and I would like you to see it before you make your decision. It's no G.I. Joe replacement, but hopefully it will do." With my back to the door, I let him read the front of the t-shirt we crafted.

Top 10 Reasons We Need Blake Morgan: "I'm going to turn around and let you read why we need you in our lives. If you still feel that you want to move on, I'll understand. I'll walk out this door and you won't see me ever again. I'll go willingly, knowing that I gave everything I had to get you back. So when you've finished reading, I need you to tell me whether to stay or go. I won't be looking at you so it will be easier for you if you need me to leave."

I let my eyes graze his handsome face for a few seconds. Once I've burned his image into my brain, I turn slowly and allow him to read.

10. He pushes me high like a collar roaster. Rylie 9. He's super tall. He can get candy off the candy shelf. Nycole, Kyndall, Rylie 8. He has big muscles like Superman. He can protect us forever. Kyndall 7. He makes Mom smile. Nycole, Alex 6. He gives really good hugs. Alex, Nycole, Kyndall, Rylie 5. He gives really good presents. Alex, Rylie 4. He's willing to watch Barney so I don't have to. Nycole 3. He takes really good care of Mom when she's hurt. Nycole, Alex 2. Sunday Breakfast Dates!!!! Alex, Nycole, Kyndall, Rylie and 1. He reminds me every day that when you're running on empty, you won't ever get where you need to be. Both in Life and Love. (And sometimes Suburbans...) Alex I remain facing forward for a few minutes letting him take his time to read all the work that the girls and I put into this t-shirt. My heart's pounding so hard I'm worried I might actually pa.s.s out.

I wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Finally, when he doesn't say anything, all hope leaves my heart. I've lost him.

I wait a little longer... nothing.

Still facing the door, I ask him, "Well...what do you think?"

He says nothing, but I can hear his bare feet crossing the floor. Then, I feel him standing directly behind me. The warmth of his body behind mine.

"What do I think?" I wait for another couple of seconds. I almost start to take a step towards the door, when his hand runs all the way up the words on my back. Then he slowly makes his way to my hair and moves it aside.

"I think..."

He slowly places feather light kisses all the way up my neck. My body reacts instantly.

"I think you look good, wearing my future."

I smile to myself, immediately recognizing the quote. I half expect my children to show up, disappointed that they didn't keep me from hearing it, but I must say that nothing will ever compare to hearing it come out of Blake Morgan's mouth. I think he might have actually ruined all of my future viewings of that movie, or just guaranteed that it will forever be my favorite part of any movie.

Ever.

I let out a relieved sigh. I turn to him with tears in my eyes and put my arms around his neck. It might not be the best time, but I take a few seconds to gloat.

"I told you that's the best line ever and that you might need it one day!" I giggle upon my realization. "I guess that makes me the woman of your dreams." He nods at me. I watch the corners of his mouth turn up into a s.e.xy smile and I notice the small crinkles around the sides of his eyes. G.o.d, I love his eyes.

His words start to settle in my head. "Blake, are you sure you want this future?"

He leans and barely touches my lips with his. "I've always wanted this future. I was just waiting on you to catch up." I wrap my arms around his neck and squeeze him tight.

I now understand how truly empty my heart had become. Because right now, in this very moment, my heart is completely filled with my love for this man.

And with that knowledge, I find the courage to open my book and start my second story.

Knowing that I've finally found my happy ending.

This book exists because of some pretty great people. I would like to take some time to say a much needed "Thank You" to those who were involved in helping me get my story onto paper.

First and foremost, my husband Dustin Thank you for believing in me. You have been there every step of the way and I owe you everything. Without you, I wouldn't have had the courage to keep writing. Your support, your opinions, your advice...well, I couldn't have done it without you by my side. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you.

Megan, Janie, Alison, and Jena You have all been my Harlow at some point in my life. Thank you for being there for me no matter what craziness was going on in my life. Girls' nights out, "Danceparty" at my house, shoulders to cry on, and lots and lots of laughing. These are all things I think about when I think out you. I love each of you dearly. Thank you for showing me the meaning of true friendship.

Jena A special thank you is needed just for you. Thank you for listening to me talk, and talk, and plan, and talk, and deliberate, and talk about this book. You're support amazes me. You are my rock. I owe you more than you could possibly imagine.

Amy Burt, Deana Wolstenholme, Jonda Liles, and Jillian Dodd Thank you for reading my baby and giving it such high praise. I would not have taken the steps to publish if it hadn't been your belief in my story. Thank you for taking the time to read it and giving me your feedback. Your suggestions helped make my story even better.

Sarah Hansen Thank you for creating such a beautiful cover. It's absolutely perfect. You looked at each of my million ideas, found the perfect one, and just ran with it. You're a freaking genius. I can't thank you enough for giving me something that represents my book perfectly. You are so talented my friend, in more ways than one. And I am so lucky to have met you.

Jennifer Roberts-Hall Wow. There is so much I have to say to you, it would be a completely separate book on its own. Thank you. Thank you for not only doing a beautiful job editing my book, but also for taking the time to love my characters as much as I do. Thank you for your never ending patience...You are a saint. Regardless of how many times I wrote you with random questions, told you to stop editing because I made revisions...again, called you when I needed guidance you were always there for me. Always. And I love you so much for that. I am so glad we met and I am so lucky to have you in my life.

Gail Marino-McHugh There are just some people you meet in your lifetime that you know you are destined to meet. Those people that you know as soon as you meet them, you have created a lifelong friend. You are one of those people for me. Thank you so much for making me laugh, believing in me, the continuous support, and just being my friend. I love you.

And to my readers Thank you for taking your time to read my story. I hope you love their journey as much as I loved writing it. And I hope each of you can take something from it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support and believing in this book.

L.B. Simmons is a graduate of Texas A&M University and holds a degree in Biomedical Science. She has been a practicing Chemist for the last 11 years. She lives with her husband and three daughters in Texas and writes every chance she gets.

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