Raising Freethinkers_ A Practical Guide Part 19

5. At the end have each team present its name, chant/cheer, and logo to the other teams. If there is only one team, have members present it to the At the end have each team present its name, chant/cheer, and logo to the other teams. If there is only one team, have members present it to the group leader.

Tips: You may wish to adjust the times for these steps depending on the total size of the group and how long the group will be using these teams. You can 225 You may wish to adjust the times for these steps depending on the total size of the group and how long the group will be using these teams. You can 225 Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief omit the logo portion if you just want to do names and chants and then move on with another activity.

Human Knot All ages; best for groups of eight to fifteen. Can be used with multiple groups of that size at once.

Materials: an open floor s.p.a.ce or field 1. Have everyone in the group stand shoulder to shoulder together in circle facing each other, tightly together. Have everyone in the group stand shoulder to shoulder together in circle facing each other, tightly together.

2. Each person reaches both hands into the circle and grabs two other hands. Each person reaches both hands into the circle and grabs two other hands.

You may not grab the hands of the people right next to you, and you can't grab both hands with the same person.

3. The group tries to disentangle the knot into a circle without letting go of any hands so that at the end each person is standing between the two people whose hands they are holding. Note that in the final circle some peo- The group tries to disentangle the knot into a circle without letting go of any hands so that at the end each person is standing between the two people whose hands they are holding. Note that in the final circle some peo- ple will be facing to the inside and others will be facing out.

Alternatives: To make this activity more difficult, have some or all of the members of the group not be allowed to talk during the activity. To make this activity more difficult, have some or all of the members of the group not be allowed to talk during the activity.

226.Resources Finding Existing Nontheistic Communities in Your Area American Humanist a.s.sociation List of Chapters www.americanhumanist.org/chapters/ American Atheists Affiliate List www.atheists.org/affiliation/ Atheist Alliance International Member Groups www.atheistalliance.org/aai/members.php American Ethical Union Ethical Societies www.aeu.org/index.php?case=members Society for Humanistic Judaism Congregations www.shj.org/CongList.htm Congress of Secular Jewish Organizations Affiliates www.csjo.org/pages/affiliates.htm Unitarian Universalist Congregations www.uua.org/aboutus/findcongregation/index.php Center for Inquiry Communities www.centerforinquiry.net/about/communities Secular Student Alliance Campus Affiliates www.secularstudents.org/affiliates The Brights Local Const.i.tuencies www.the-brights.net/community/blc/list.html Camp Quest www.camp-quest.org 227.

Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief Meetup Groups Atheists: www.atheists.meetup.com Humanists: www.humanism.meetup.com Brights: www.humanism.meetup.com Parenting: www.parenting.meetup.com The Freedom From Religion Foundation has a few local chapters as well but no online list. Go to www.ffrf.org for more information. for more information.

Alternatives to Traditional Scouting Earth Scouts www.earthscouts.org Spiral Scouts www.spiralscouts.org Curricula American Ethical Union Sample curriculum: http://64.118.87.15/~aeuorg/library/articles/Love_Your _Neighbor_exploration.pdf The American Ethical Union publishes some of its religious education curricula for kids on its website. The Love Your Neighbor curriculum is its ethics and values curriculum for preschool through early elementary school. If you are starting a children's program, you may find some of the stories and activities useful. If you are considering an Ethical Society, you may also find this curriculum interesting as an example of the children's programs offered.

OABITAR (Objectivity, Accuracy, and Balance In Teaching About Religion) Different Drummers curriculum: www.teachingaboutreligion.com/new_dd.htm Different Drummers is a curriculum on the role of freethinkers in history, produced by OABITAR. Designed for use in public schools, this resource focuses on the important societal roles played by people who think differently from the mainstream. Some parts of this curriculum may be helpful if you are starting a children's program. You may also want to suggest it to your child's school, es-228pecially if you are looking for a way to help remedy a bias toward Christianity or conformity in the cla.s.sroom.

Ethical Society Without Walls www.eswow.org Ethical Culture www.aeu.org Society for Humanistic Judaism www.shj.org Congress of Secular Jewish Organizations www.csjo.org The Unitarian Universalist a.s.sociation Tapestry of Faith curriculum www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith/index.shtml Some of the stories and lessons in this curriculum are available online.

Some sections would be relevant for humanist children's programs.

Resources for Secular Homeschoolers Secular Homeschoolers' Personal Web Pages www.geocities.com/hs_hopeful/personal_pages/Secular.html Secular Homeschool www.atheistview.com/secular_homeschool.htm Secular Homeschooling Magazine-a new resource www.secular-homeschooling.com/ General homeschooling information http://homeschooling.about.com Lawrence Hall of Science, the public science center of the University of California, Berkeley, produces pre-K through high school science and math education materials, some of which are aimed at homeschoolers. www.lhs .berkeley.edu 229.

Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief Yahoo! Groups for Freethought Homeschoolers (all membership totals as of May 2008) Secular homeschoolers group (1520 members) www.groups.yahoo.com/group/secular_homeschoolers Atheist homeschoolers group (729 members) www.groups.yahoo.com/group/homeschool_atheists UU homeschoolers group (995 members) www.groups.yahoo.com/group/UUHomeschoolers Freethinking HomeEducators group (270 members) www.groups.yahoo.com/group/FreeThinking-HomeEducators Freethinking Unschoolers group (582 members) www.groups.yahoo.com/group/freethinking_unschoolers Many smaller groups are available, including some on the state or city level.

Enter appropriate search terms (e.g., secular homeschool Georgia) at www .groups.yahoo.com.

Miscellaneous Pollack, Stanley, and Mary Fusoni. Moving Beyond Icebreakers Moving Beyond Icebreakers (Boston: Center for Teen Empowerment, 2005). A great resource for organizing groups and meetings with kids, teenagers, and adults. Contains more than 300 exercises, but unlike many other resources, it also gives helpful guidance on (Boston: Center for Teen Empowerment, 2005). A great resource for organizing groups and meetings with kids, teenagers, and adults. Contains more than 300 exercises, but unlike many other resources, it also gives helpful guidance on why why to in-tegrate these activities, creating buy-in and overcoming resistance of group members, plus tips regarding how best to select activities that will work well with your group's membership and purposes. to in-tegrate these activities, creating buy-in and overcoming resistance of group members, plus tips regarding how best to select activities that will work well with your group's membership and purposes.

This book would be useful to those who are trying to start a new group, whether the group is aimed at kids, teens, adults, or families partic.i.p.ating together. It would also be a helpful tool for those who are trying improve the dynamics and community feeling of an existing group. If your local freethought group consists of a monthly lecture with Q&A and then everyone disappears, this book can provide insights into how to build a more robust community in your group by making meetings more interactive. The book is produced by a nonprofit organization called Teen Empowerment ( www 230..teenempowerment.org) and is available from its website or from your favorite online bookstore.

Unitarian Universalist FAQ: www.uufaq.com. Several exciting new resources for nonreligious parents are currently in development, including a "Secular Parenting Wiki" of activities related to critical thinking, ethics, meaning, and inquiry and a humanist Sunday school curriculum from the American Several exciting new resources for nonreligious parents are currently in development, including a "Secular Parenting Wiki" of activities related to critical thinking, ethics, meaning, and inquiry and a humanist Sunday school curriculum from the American Humanist a.s.sociation. For continuous updates on new resources for non- religious parents, visit the Parenting Beyond Belief Parenting Beyond Belief homepage at www .parentingbeyondbelief.com.

Notes.1. Church and Sunday School are the terms used by the majority Christian religious communities in the United States. I will use those terms for con-venience. Other religious groups use different terms that refer to similar practices. Jewish families often belong to a synagogue or temple, for example, and their children may spend Sat.u.r.days going to Hebrew School.

2. From a study conducted by W. Bradford Wilc.o.x, reported by PBS on October 19, 2005, in its Religion and Ethics Newsweekly Religion and Ethics Newsweekly. The a.n.a.lysis is available at www.pbs.org/wnet/religionandethics/week908/a.n.a.lysis1.html.

Table 1, which includes the relevant findings, is available at www.pbs.org/ wnet/religionandethics/week908/Wilc.o.x_Data.pdf. Both accessed May 20, 2008. Both accessed May 20, 2008.

3. Roccas, S., and M. B. Brewer, (2002). Social ident.i.ty complexity. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 6, Personality and Social Psychology Review, 6, 88106. 88106.

4. Sherif, Muzafer, O. J. Harvey, B. Jack White, William R. Hood, Carolyn W. Sherif (1954/1961), Intergroup Conflict and Cooperation: The Rob- bers Cave Experiment. Available online here: http://psychcla.s.sics.yorku.ca/ Sherif/index.htm. Accessed April 13, 2008. Accessed April 13, 2008.

5. Gaertner, S. L., J. F. Dovidio, P. A. Anastasio, B. A. Bachman, and M. C.

Rust. The common ingroup ident.i.ty model: Recategorization and the re- duction of intergroup bias. In W. Stroebe & M. Hewstone (Eds.), European Review of Social Psychology European Review of Social Psychology, 4 4 (1993), 126. (1993), 126.

6. Witt, A. P., and N. L. Kerr. "Me versus just us versus us all": Categorization and cooperation in nested social dilemmas. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83 83 (2002), 616637. (2002), 616637.

231.

Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief 7. Accessed May 14, 2008, from www.gallup.com/poll/27124/Just-Why -Americans-Attend-Church.aspx 8. Based on several internal and external UUA surveys, including the Case- bolt survey (2001) and the FACT survey (2000). The Casebolt survey of- fered seven labels and allowed respondents to select as many as they felt applied to them. "Humanist was a clear choice (54 percent), but agnostic (33 percent) beat out earth-centered (31 percent). Atheist was picked by 18 percent and Buddhist by 16.5 percent. Pagan and Christian tied at 13.1 percent." The UUA's 1997 in-house survey asked members to choose only one label. "The top choices were humanist (46 percent), earth/ nature-centered (19 percent), theist (13 percent), [and] Christian (9.5 percent)." Quotes from Dart, John, "Churchgoers from Elsewhere," The Christian Century The Christian Century (December 5, 2001). (December 5, 2001).

9. Accessed May 14, 2008, from www.aeu.org 10. Lee-St. John, Jeninne. "Sunday School for Atheists: An oxymoron? Nope- nonbelievers need places to teach their kids values too," TIME Magazine TIME Magazine (December 3, 2007), 99. (December 3, 2007), 99.

11. Accessed June 4, 2008, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Girl_Scouts _of_the_USA 12. Accessed June 4, 2008, from www.bsa-discrimination.org/html/gsusa.html 13. Accessed June 4, 2008, from www.earthscouts.org 14. Accessed June 4, 2008, from www.spiralscouts.org 232.

CHAPTER 9.

The Grab Bag Dale McGowan It'd be lovely if everything in life fit into neat little well-defined packages.

Wait-no it wouldn't. That would be terrible. This chapter, then, is a celebration of the untidiness of it all, a place to put questions, answers, statistics, quotes, dialogues, resources, and other miscellany that didn't b.l.o.o.d.y well feel like conforming to any of the other chapter topics. I've done my best to eliminate any semblance of order, and in some cases, of relevance. Enjoy.

Twelve Blogs for Us Motherhood Uncensored www.motherhooduncensored.typepad.com Kristen Chase is a foul-mouthed, cynical, cut-the-c.r.a.p mother of two with no sense of propriety or common decency. I adore her. Like me, she is also a former music professor recently relocated to the Deep South.

The Friendly Atheist www.friendlyatheist.com If you are allergic to wit, intelligence, and friendly but firm commentary on the religious and nonreligious worlds, avoid Hemant Mehta's blog. Otherwise, come on in.

233.

Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief Pharyngula www.scienceblogs.com/pharyngula P.Z. Myers, a biologist at the University of Minnesota, Morris, writes the smartest and funniest science blog on Earth.

Bad Astronomy www.badastronomy.com Author/astronomer Phil Plait (apparently his real name)1 blogs about astro-nomical misconceptions, hoaxes, and other silliana. blogs about astro-nomical misconceptions, hoaxes, and other silliana.

Atheist Ethicist www.atheistethicist.blogspot.com The ethico-philosophical blog of Alonzo Fyfe. For the quiet reflectors among us.

Friendly Humanist www.friendlyhumanist.blogspot.com The blog of a smart and (yes) friendly Canadian humanist in Scotland. One of my favorites for quiet intelligence.

Rant & Reason http://blog.thehumanist.com/ "Humanist perspectives on breaking news and politics."

Half Full Blog http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/half_full/ Subt.i.tled "The Science of Raising Happy Kids." Doesn't get better than this.

New Humanist http://blog.newhumanist.org.uk/ Blog of the British magazine of the same name.

234.The Meming of Life www.ParentingBeyondBelief.com/blog You honestly thought I had the maturity to not mention my own secular par- enting blog. And you call yourself a rationalist.

Bligbi www.bligbi.com "The ramblings of a non-apologetic militant atheist mom."

Daddy Dialectic www.daddy-dialectic.blogspot.com A blog by Greater Good Greater Good editor and secular dad Jeremy Adam Smith and others that is smarter and better than my blog in every way. So what's your point? editor and secular dad Jeremy Adam Smith and others that is smarter and better than my blog in every way. So what's your point?

Q: How would you respond if one of your children became religious?

I asked each of the four co-authors of this book to provide a short (150-word) answer to this very common question. The result: JAN DEVOR: First, make sure that your teen is not just following the pack to a local "in" religious community or youth program. Gently Gently ask why he or she has made the decision and listen to the answer. He or she probably knows what you think about religion and might be reluctant to have this conversation. ask why he or she has made the decision and listen to the answer. He or she probably knows what you think about religion and might be reluctant to have this conversation.

You may spot weakness or flaws in his thinking, but jumping on him about these things is not the way to go. Allow your teen to follow his thinking in this area.

Ask if you can research the religion's theology and have open discussions with her about what she is learning and doing in this community as time goes by. You might even ask if you could attend a service with her.

Most of all, remain calm. Teens often need to experience things to sort through their feelings about them. This religious exploration is not unusual.

MOLLEEN MATSUMURA: What to do depends on why your kid is interested, and how deeply. There are a lot of reasons to explore religions that are not anything to worry about-certainly not enough to fight about.

Your child may be interested in exploring his or her roots, particularly if your family comes from a minority faith or ethnic community. Often in the United States, people join faith communities for the ethnic connection. This 235 Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief doesn't necessarily mean he's adopting the belief-system, and if not, the best thing you can do is encourage his interest in other ways; for example, by studying your ancestors' language or cooking ethnic recipes together.

In families where members disagree about religion, your child might be trying to maintain a connection by, say, going to church with grandma; be careful about a.s.suming that she is taking sides. Making the issue a test of loyalty could just put distance between you.

AMANDA METSKAS: Make it clear that you love him no matter what he be- lieves. Take your child's ideas seriously. Treating him as though he is "going through a phase" or just parroting the ideas of someone else will damage your relationship and stifle communication.

Encourage your child to continue to explore, and ask questions yourself.

Congratulate her for the seriousness with which she is taking these issues, and say that you look forward to continuing to talk about it. Remember that exploring beliefs is an important part of our development.

Call into question any ideas that are contrary to your values and those of your child.

If your child is joining a religion with especially troubling elements- refusing medical care, for example, or isolating its members-that is a different situation. Consider talking to a professional counselor. Try to find out if there is something going on in your child's life that prompted him or her to join this group.

DALE McGOWAN: I encourage my kids to try on as many beliefs as they wish and switch whenever they feel drawn toward a different hat. They'll end up better informed about the ident.i.ty they eventually choose as well as those they declined.

My reaction would also depend on what is meant by "religious." Is it "Love-your-neighbor" religious or "G.o.d-hates-f.a.gs" religious? "Dalai Lama" religious, or "September 11 hijackers" religious?

If my kids do choose a religious expression, it's likely to be one that expresses the values of compa.s.sion and reason in which they've been raised. We could do far worse than a world of liberal Quakers, for example. If instead one of my kids identified with a more malignant religion, I'd challenge the negative consequences consequences of the belief, not the fact that it is "religious." And my love for my child would remain completely unchanged. of the belief, not the fact that it is "religious." And my love for my child would remain completely unchanged.

236.Six Things the Religious (Generally) Do (Much) Better Than the Nonreligious One of the central messages of Parenting Beyond Belief Parenting Beyond Belief and and Raising Freethinkers Raising Freethinkers is that there are secular ways to achieve all the benefits of religion. It's true. I've is that there are secular ways to achieve all the benefits of religion. It's true. I've even been so bold as to suggest we do some things better. Time to let that other shoe even been so bold as to suggest we do some things better. Time to let that other shoe drop. Here are six things Christians in the United States on the whole do much drop. Here are six things Christians in the United States on the whole do much better than the nonreligious. better than the nonreligious.

1. Give generously. Give generously. Although the nonreligious outpace the religious in volunteerism once "church maintenance" volunteering is eliminated, Although the nonreligious outpace the religious in volunteerism once "church maintenance" volunteering is eliminated, 2 2 when it comes to actual giving of actual money, there's no contest: The religious have us licked. Regular churchgoers are more likely than secularists to donate money (91 percent versus 66 percent). when it comes to actual giving of actual money, there's no contest: The religious have us licked. Regular churchgoers are more likely than secularists to donate money (91 percent versus 66 percent). 3 3 Obviously, there will be notable exceptions-three of the top four philanthropists worldwide are Obviously, there will be notable exceptions-three of the top four philanthropists worldwide are atheists or agnostics4-but the overall picture of giving by secular individuals needs improvement.

Part of the solution is the systematizing of giving. That offering plate pa.s.sing beneath one's nose on a regular basis has a certain loosening effect on the wallet.

2. Connect their good works to their beliefs. Connect their good works to their beliefs. As noted above, the nonreligious are very good about rolling up their sleeves and volunteering, but As noted above, the nonreligious are very good about rolling up their sleeves and volunteering, but abysmal at making it clear that those good works are a reflection of our humanistic values. As a result, the presence of nonbelievers doing good works is often overlooked. That's why Dinesh D'Souza was able to write the ignorant screed "Where Were the Atheists?" 5 5 after the Virginia Tech tragedy. Nonbelievers were present and active as counselors, rescuers, and EMTs at the scene, but because they were not organized into named and after the Virginia Tech tragedy. Nonbelievers were present and active as counselors, rescuers, and EMTs at the scene, but because they were not organized into named and tax-exempt units, their worldview was invisible. We must do a better job of making it clear that we do good works not despite our beliefs, but because of them.

3. Build community. Build community. The nonreligious to date have been miserable at forming genuine community. We fret and fuss over the urgent need for more The nonreligious to date have been miserable at forming genuine community. We fret and fuss over the urgent need for more rationality in the world, completely ignoring more basic human needs like unconditional acceptance. Most people do not go to church for theology- they go for acceptance. They go to be surrounded by people who smile at them and are nice to them, who ask how their kids are and whether that back injury is still hurting. Until we recognize why people gather together- 237.

Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief and that it isn't "to be a force for rationality"-freethought groups will continue to lag light years behind churches in offering community.

4. Use transcendent language. Use transcendent language. There are many transcendent religious words without good secular equivalents. There is no secular equivalent for There are many transcendent religious words without good secular equivalents. There is no secular equivalent for "blessed." I want one, and "fortunate" doesn't cut it. I also want a secular word for "sacred." I want to be able to say something is "holy" without the implication that a G.o.d is involved. I want to speak of my "soul," but do so naturalistically, and not be misunderstood. Miracle, spiritual-the list goes on and on. [Molleen Matsumura offered a thoughtful reb.u.t.tal to Salman Rushdie when he made a similar point. Visit www.humaniststudies.org/ podcast and scroll down to #19 for the podcast. and scroll down to #19 for the podcast. Ed. Ed. ] ]

5. Support each other in time of need. Support each other in time of need. Individuals do a lovely job of supporting each other in times of need, regardless of belief system. But when it comes to the loving embrace of a Individuals do a lovely job of supporting each other in times of need, regardless of belief system. But when it comes to the loving embrace of a community community, the religious once again tend to do it much, much better than any nonreligious community I've seen. Yes, they have the numbers, and yes, they have the structure-but I'll also give them credit for recognizing the need and having the desire to fulfill it. 6 6 6. Own their worldview. Own their worldview. Yes, it's easier for the religious to be "out" about their worldview because they are everywhere. Guess what-we're everywhere too. Current estimates put the nonreligious at 18 percent of the Yes, it's easier for the religious to be "out" about their worldview because they are everywhere. Guess what-we're everywhere too. Current estimates put the nonreligious at 18 percent of the U.S. population. There are more nonreligious Americans than African Americans. Think of that. Coming out of the closet and owning your worldview makes it easier for the next person to do so. So do it.

Need more incentive? Think of the children. I want my kids to choose the worldview that suits them best, and yes, I'd like secular humanism to be one they consider. The more visible and normalized it is as a world- view, the better chance that it will appeal to them. But in the meantime, it would also help if we gave more generously, connected our good works to our beliefs, built communities, learned to use transcendent language, and developed a better collective ability to support each other in time of need.

Q: My wife and I are facing a dilemma as my son is moving into middle school next year. Our local public school system is significantly missing our expectations for both environment and academic standards. We have decided to enroll him in a local private school, but all of the good ones in our area are religiously based.

The one we like best is a "multidenominational" Christian school with bible study 238The Question of the Pledge During her afterschool snack one day, Delaney (6) asked, "What does 'lib- erty' mean?"

I knew immediately why she would ask and was once again ashamed of myself in comparison to my kids. I don't think I pondered the meaning of the Pledge of Allegiance until I was well into middle school. When I was her age, I'm certain I thought "EyePlejjaleejins" was one word that meant something like, "Hey, look at the flag." I certainly didn't know I was promising undying loyalty to something.

"Liberty means freedom," I said. "It means being free to do what you want as long as you don't hurt someone else."

"Oh, okay." Pause. "What about 'justice'?"

"Justice means fairness. If there is justice, it means everybody gets treated in a fair way."

"Oh! So when we say 'with liberty and justice for all,' it means 'every- body should be free and everybody should be fair.'"

"That's the idea."

"Hmm," she said. "I like that."

I like it too. A fine, fine idea. I also like the idea that the next time Laney said the Pledge, she had a little more knowledge of just what she was pledging her allegiance to.

There's an email that circulates quite a bit during the times we are asked to stand united against [INSERT IMPLACABLE ENEMY HERE]-the text of a 1969 speech by the comedian Red Skelton in which he recounts the words of an early teacher of his. The teacher had supposedly noticed the students going through the rote recitation of the pledge and decided to explain, word for word, what it meant.

The idea of wanting kids to understand what they are saying is a good one. It solves one of the four issues I have with the Pledge of Alle- giance. There is the "under G.o.d" clause, of course-but that's the least of my concerns.

Far worse is the fact that it is mandated, either by law, policy, or so- cial pressure. No one of any age should be placed in a situation where a loyalty oath is extracted by force, subtle or otherwise.

Worse still is something I had never considered before I heard it spelled out by Unitarian Universalist minister and Parenting Beyond Belief contributor Kendyl Gibbons at the onset of the latest (at this writing) Iraq 239 Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief War in a brilliant sermon t.i.tled "Why I'm Not Saying the Pledge of Alle- giance Any More." At one point she noted how important integrity is to humanism: One of the most basic obligations that I learned growing up as a humanist was to guard the integrity of my given word. Who and what I am as a human being is not predicated on the role a.s.signed to me by a supernatural crea- tor . . . rather, I am what I say I am; I am the loyalties I give, the promises I keep, the values I affirm, the covenants by which I undertake to live. To give my loyalties carelessly, to bespeak commitments casually, is to throw away the integrity that defines me, that helps me to live in wholeness and to cherish the unique worth and dignity of myself as a person. . . . We had better mean what we solemnly, publicly say and sign.

And then, the central issue-that the pledge is to a flag, when in fact it should be to principles, to values. One hopes that the flag stands for these things, but it's too easy for principles to slip and slide behind a symbol. A swastika symbolized universal harmony in ancient Buddhist and Hindu iconography, then something quite different in Germany of the 1930s and 1940s. Better to pledge allegiance to universal harmony than to the drifting swastika.

The same is true of a flag-any flag. Here's Kendyl again: I will not give my allegiance to a flag. . . . I will not commit the idola-try of mistaking the flag for the nation, or the nation for the ideals. . . .

My allegiance is to my country as an expression of its ideals.

To the extent that the republic for which our flag stands is faithful to the premises of its founding, it has my loyalty. . . . But to the extent that it is a finite and imperfect expression of the ideals to which my allegiance is ultimately given, to the extent that it falls into deceit and self-deception, into arrogance and coercion and violence, into self-serving secrecy and double standards of justice, to that extent my loy- alty must take the form of protest, and my devotion must be expressed in dissent.7 It remains to this day one of the most eloquent addresses I've ever heard. And it continues to motivate me to raise children who pledge their allegiances conditionally rather than blindly-something that will make their eventual allegiances all the more meaningful.

-Dale McGowan, from the blog The Meming of Life 240.every day. I'm happy with the idea of religious literacy but am worried about indoctrination into the religion itself. Should I be?

A: I'm a pa.s.sionate supporter of public schools, but if they are too far gone in your area, there's no use making your child a martyr to principle. A child in a (genuinely) progressive religious environment at school and a freethought environment at home might just have the best of all possible situations for genuine freethought. Three questions to ask: 1. Is it really multidenominational? A broad ident.i.ty requires a certain amount of flexibility and generally causes h.e.l.l to evaporate. But many Is it really multidenominational? A broad ident.i.ty requires a certain amount of flexibility and generally causes h.e.l.l to evaporate. But many schools make the claim to increase enrollment but are really founded and funded by a single denomination. Ask to see stats on the religious affiliations of the students. The more the mix, the better. If you catch a whiff of Baptist or Catholic affiliation, stay away. Neither denomination has covered itself with glory when it comes to genuinely open inquiry.

2. What is the att.i.tude toward open questioning and religious doubt? Mission statements will often reveal at least the official posture. A conversation with the princ.i.p.al will reveal more. What is the att.i.tude toward open questioning and religious doubt? Mission statements will often reveal at least the official posture. A conversation with the princ.i.p.al will reveal more.

3. Get a look at the science curriculum standards, and by all means, Get a look at the science curriculum standards, and by all means, get your get your hands on the eighth grade science book. hands on the eighth grade science book. If the world is less than 10,000 years old, run screaming into the woods. If the world is less than 10,000 years old, run screaming into the woods.

If you get good answers regarding affiliation, openness, and science ed, I'll bet you're fine. A low-key, brimstone-free exposure to religious ideas encourages cultural literacy and permits kids to think for themselves. Reinforce exactly that at home.

Fun Finds G.o.dchecker.com-Your Guide to the G.o.ds www.G.o.dchecker.com/ A frankly incredible and nicely wry archive of deographical information on over 2,800 G.o.ds, subdivided by region and culture.