Pride and Prejudice, a play by Mary Keith Medbery Mackaye Part 6

It is no trouble, Mr. Collins. Charlotte, if you will come with me, I have a parcel I should like to send your mother.

MR. COLLINS.

But I a.s.sure you, Madam----

[_As they go out_, MRS. BENNET--_looking daggers at_ CHARLOTTE--_tries to keep_ MR. COLLINS _with_ JANE.]

MRS. BENNET.

Lydia will find your book, Mr. Collins.

MR. COLLINS.

On no account, Madam----

[_With awkward gallantry_ MR. COLLINS _ushers out the ladies_--LYDIA _rebellious_, CHARLOTTE _somewhat offended_.]

ELIZABETH.

[_With an amused smile, having watched the party vanish, turns to_ JANE _and speaks to her in mock-heroic fashion_.] Miss Bennet! Do you realise the honour which is so soon to fall upon our humble home, and our gratefully humble selves?

JANE.

[_Smiling._] Oh, Lizzy!

ELIZABETH.

Do you really grasp in its full significance the fact that we may soon be honoured by a visit from Mr. Bingley of Netherfield and Mr.

Fitzgerald Darcy, nephew of the Lady Catherine de Bourg?

JANE.

Oh, Lizzy, Mr. Collins is a little pompous, but he seems a very well-meaning young man--indeed, sometimes quite agreeable.

ELIZABETH.

[_Looking quizzically, but affectionately, at her sister._] No one can be anything but agreeable in the mind of our dear Jane. This time, however, I quite agree with you, I am as delighted as papa with Mr.

Collins. I can see that his mixture of servility and importance promises well.

JANE.

And I think Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy promise well. If the half of what our neighbours say is true, Mr. Bingley will give us all sorts of gaieties. [_Slyly._] Who knows? We may find him as entertaining as Mr.

Wickham.

ELIZABETH.

As Mr. Wickham? Then, dear Jane, we shall be rich indeed. [_Counting on her fingers._] For hospitality--Mr. Bingley; for conversation--Mr.

Wickham; for grandeur--Mr. Darcy, and the agreeable Mr. Collins!

JANE.

Oh, Lizzy! Can not you let the poor man alone?

ELIZABETH.

With all my heart. I will gladly let him alone. You shall have him all to yourself. [_Mischievously._] If only Mr. Collins knew your good opinion of him! But he is too modest to find it out for himself.

JANE.

[_Playfully pulling_ ELIZABETH'S _ear_.] You are a tease!

HARRIS.

[_Entering._] The two gentlemen from Netherfield have just brought their horses into the paddock, Madam.

JANE.

Show them in, Harris, and speak to Mrs. Bennet at once.

[HARRIS _bows and goes out_.]

JANE.

They have come soon, Lizzy. Really this is very civil in them.

ELIZABETH.

Uncommonly civil. Come with me, Jane. I must make myself tidy. Mud and dirty petticoats for Mr. Darcy!--Oh, that would never do.

[_They run off, laughing. There is a short pause. Then_ MR. BINGLEY _and_ MR. DARCY _enter. The latter is very quiet, with an air of scornful hauteur_. BINGLEY, _on the contrary, has a gracious and animated manner_. HARRIS _ushers them in, much impressed_.]

BINGLEY.