Pride and Prejudice, a play by Mary Keith Medbery Mackaye Part 5

Well, I am very glad of it, I am sure. [_To_ JANE _and_ LYDIA.] Girls, we haven't told Lizzy and Charlotte the news.

ELIZABETH.

What news, mamma?

MRS. BENNET.

[_Looking at_ CHARLOTTE _with an ill-concealed triumph_.] Oh, nothing of consequence, Lizzy, only your father has just told us that we may expect a visit at any time from our new neighbour, Mr. Bingley, and that friend of his who is stopping with him.

ELIZABETH.

Oh, Mr. Bingley! That will be entertaining. [_Suddenly with mischief she turns to_ MR. COLLINS, _who all through this latter conversation has been staring at_ JANE _with solemn persistence_.] Do not you think so, Mr. Collins?

MR. COLLINS.

[_Starting from his absorption._] Eh? What? [_Pompously again._] Excuse me, Miss Elizabeth, on what subject did you ask my opinion?

ELIZABETH.

I asked you if you didn't think it was a very pleasant thing to meet new neighbours.

MR. COLLINS.

Most a.s.suredly, Miss Elizabeth, if those neighbours are possessed of those qualifications which redound to their own credit, and to the edification of their friends. Otherwise, as a clergyman, I must hesitate in my approval. [_To_ MRS. BENNET.] You realise, I am sure, Madam, the caution which should ever be exercised where my amiable young cousins are concerned.

ELIZABETH.

Yes, mamma, you really should be cautious.

MRS. BENNET.

Nonsense! Why, my dear Mr. Collins, we have found out all about them.

Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy are connected with some of the most respectable families in England.

MR. COLLINS.

[_In amazement._] Mr. Darcy? Mr. Fitzgerald Darcy! My dear Madam, can it be possible that you are to be honoured by a visit from him? Respectable indeed! Why, he is the nephew of my n.o.ble patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourg. It is true that I have never yet had the honour of meeting him--but he frequently visits his aunt, and she has promised to bring him on some occasion to inspect my humble abode. I am surprised, indeed, by this civility on his part. [_Anxiously._] I only fear there may be some mistake, for Mr. Darcy has the reputation of possessing a very natural pride of birth; but if your information is indeed to be relied upon, I think Lady Catherine would consent to my approval of this visit, provided my fair cousins will keep in mind the proper att.i.tude of respectful humility which should be a.s.sumed toward a person of his superior station.

ELIZABETH.

We will promise you, Mr. Collins, never for one instant to forget either Mr. Darcy's exalted position or our own insignificance.

MR. COLLINS.

[_Looking at her with admiration._] With that a.s.surance, Miss Elizabeth, I think even Lady Catherine would be satisfied. So I need no longer withhold my sanction.

ELIZABETH.

[_Curtsying._] We thank you, sir.

MR. COLLINS.

This is the very att.i.tude of mind I could desire. [_To_ MRS. BENNET.] I think, with your permission, I will now retire again to the library.

[_Going over smilingly to_ JANE.] There was a volume of Fordyce's sermons that you may remember I was reading to you in this room yesterday. I do not find it in the library. Do you know where it is?

[_Looking about him._]

JANE.

I haven't seen it, Mr. Collins. I will try to find it for you. [_She starts as if to go out of the room._]

MRS. BENNET.

[_Wishing to leave them together._] No--no, Lydia will find it. Lydia, my love, go see if you can find the sermons for Mr. Collins.

[LYDIA, _with a grimace, rises slowly from her chair_.]

CHARLOTTE LUCAS.

Oh, Mrs. Bennet, I am quite sure that I saw the book in the hall. I will go fetch it.

MRS. BENNET.

[_Sharply._] On no account, Charlotte. Lydia will find the book. Lizzy, go and get the mud off your shoes.

MR. COLLINS.

Oh, I will not trouble any of you ladies.

MRS. BENNET.