Phule's Paradise Part 6

With that, he tossed a bill on the bar, gathered up his drink, and left to rejoin his group.

"Something for you, miss?" the bartender said pointedly.

"Hemlock, neat," she muttered, staring after her departed victim.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing. Give me a rum and c.o.ke. Heavy on the rum, no lime."

It was clear that "bright and friendly" wasn't working. Maybe she should change gears and see if the crowd was up for "sultry and a little h.o.r.n.y."

"Chilly out tonight, isn't it?"

Tiffany glanced around.

"Lex! I thought that was you at the briefing. Let me tell you, darling, it's good to see a friendly face. I was starting to think I had grown another head-and an ugly one at that."

"It isn't just you," her savior a.s.sured her. "They seem to be unreceptive to any of us-even me!"

The "even me" tag line was, of course, typical of Lex. A male model turned actor, his success had heightened his already substantial opinion of himself. It had been noted more than once that the only thing bigger than his ego was, unfortunately, his talent. When he was "on," he had the gift of appearing to totally focus his attention, making whoever he was dealing with at the time feel that they were the most important, interesting person in the universe. This impression was conveyed even when the other "person" was a camera lens or the "third wall" of a stage, giving him the ability to affect an audience as few actors can. It was only when he was relaxed that his true disdain for others showed, encouraging most to maintain him as an acquaintance rather than as a friend.

Tiffany knew him only in pa.s.sing from one production they had worked together, and normally would avoid his company. Even now, as desperate as she was for someone to talk to, she couldn't resist "zinging" him a little.

"Well, some of us seem to be doing okay," she said, pointing with her chin to a far corner where a pet.i.te young girl was engrossed in a conversation with a towering Legionnaire with a huge, warthog head.

Lex followed her gaze.

"Who? Her?" He managed to convey both disgust and dismissal by intonation alone. "She isn't really one of us. She's only done a few things, all amateur. In fact, this was her big try at breaking into professional acting."

Tiffany c.o.c.ked an eyebrow at him.

"How do you know all that?"

"I talked to her earlier, after the briefing."

"And she wouldn't give you a tumble, eh?" she finished for him with a grin.

"Don't be a b.i.t.c.h, Tiffany," Lex said, unruffled. "Just because I didn't come after you first is no reason to be catty."

"Say ... what are you doing here, anyway?" she said, indulging in a small frown. "I thought they were looking for relative unknowns. Didn't I hear you landed a part in a holo-soap?"

"I didn't list that on my audition sheet," Lex said, glancing around nervously. "And I'd appreciate it if you'd keep it quiet. My part was canceled after a half dozen episodes, and it was only in planetary syndication, anyway. I guess our recruiter-in-disguise there doesn't watch the soaps ... which is just as well for me. Frankly, Tiff, I need the money. I went a little wild with my spending when I landed the part. Got so excited I didn't read the contract close enough. Missed the 'character cancellation' clause completely."

"Gee, that's tough," Tiffany said sympathetically, and meant it. Though she might not like Lex as a person, he was still a fellow professional, arid she could understand how crushing it would be to think one had finally gotten their big break, only to have it jerked away from them. "Don't worry, I won't say anything."

Lex gave a quick smile of thanks, then turned his attention to the party again.

"So ... what do you think so far?" he said, scanning the crowd. "Are you going to stick around or sit this one out?"

"Oh, I'm definitely going to work this one," Tiffany said. "As to the job itself ... unless these clowns loosen up a little, it could be a long tour, if you know what I mean."

"Hey. They're no different from us," chimed in a lanky individual who had just stepped up to the bar and overheard Tiffany's comment. "Think of them as a road troupe that have been working together for a long time. We're the new replacements, and they aren't going to cut us any slack until we've shown them what we can do."

"Hey, Doc!" Lex said, waving for him to join their conversation. "Didn't get a chance to say hi earlier. Was that your son with you?"

"Sure was." He raised his voice to call across the room. "Yo! Junior! Come over here a minute."

The gangly teenager Tiffany had noted before rose from the chair he had been holding down and began ambling toward them.

"He sure has grown," Lex said, making the obligatory observation.

"Sure has," the newcomer confirmed. "I'm thinking of maybe using him for a stand-in for me in some of the rougher gags."

Even though she didn't find the man particularly attractive, Tiffany found her curiosity piqued. Lex usually held himself aloof from his colleagues, and generally had no use for men at all, unless they were producers, directors, or someone else important enough to further his career. The latter possibility was enough to capture her undivided attention.

"I don't think we've met," she said, holding out her hand. "I'm Tiffany."

"I'm sorry," Lex said, slapping his forehead melodramatically with his palm. "I thought everybody knew Doc ... well, everybody who counts. Tiffany, this is Doc. Short for 'Scene Doctor.' He's made me look real good the times we've worked together."

"How so?" Tiffany asked, then realized she was talking to the back of Doc's head.

That individual was craning his neck, trying to get a better look at the scene that was unfolding a few steps away where his son had been stopped by one of the Legionnaires waiting in line for a drink.

"You look pretty young to be a Legionnaire, sonny."

Unruffled, the youth shrugged.

"The casting director-I mean, the lieutenant-didn't seem to think so," he said easily.

"Oh yeah?" the Legionnaire sneered. "Tell me ... have you ever killed a man?"

"No," the youth admitted. "But I almost did once."

"Really?" his challenger said, clearly taken aback by the unexpected answer. "What happened?"

"I almost ran over him with a forklift."

There was a few seconds' pause, then the Legionnaire flushed a bright red.

"Are you trying to get cute with me, kid?"

"Take it easy there, hoss," Doc said, stepping forward to drape an arm around his son's shoulders. "He was just trying to answer your question truthfully. You don't have to worry about him pulling his own weight, either. He does his job as well as the next man, and better than most. Here, I'll show you."

With that, he made a fist with his free hand and suddenly launched an overhand punch into his son's face. There was a painful smack of flesh hitting flesh, and the youth went sprawling.

All conversation in the room ceased as abruptly as if it had been recorded background noise and someone pulled the plug.

"Jeez!" the wide-eyed Legionnaire gasped, staring at the figure on the floor. "What'd ya go and do that for? I was just-"

"Stand easy!"

At the barked command, the others in the room relaxed slightly and returned to their conversations, though many a curious and suspicious glance was directed at their group.

"Oh no," the Legionnaire said softly, almost in a groan.

The company commander was bearing down on them, his face set in a grim mask, while his junior officers and a few of his sergeants materialized out of the crowd to trail along casually in his wake.

The entourage halted before the offending group, and the commander swept them all, standing and p.r.o.ne, with a steely gaze before fixing his eyes on the distraught Legionnaire.

"Well? Should I ask?" he said in a tone as icy as the void outside the ship's hull.

"I didn't do anything! Really, Captain!" the Legionnaire protested desperately. "We were just standing here talking and-"

"It's no big deal, sir," Doc said, stepping forward. "My son and I were just giving the others here a little demonstration. Didn't think it would get everyone riled up."

"Demonstration?"

"That's right."

Doc extended a hand down to his son, who seized his wrist and bounced lightly to his feet, apparently unharmed.

"Guess you haven't had a chance to go over our files, Captain," Doc continued easily. "Junior and me are stuntmen."

"I see," the commander said, thawing slightly. "Well, I'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from any further 'demonstrations.' Or at least give us a bit of warning. We try to discourage fighting, or even the appearance of fighting, at social gatherings."

"No problem ... sir." Doc shrugged. "Sorry, but we're still learning the ins and outs of this crew."

"You'll catch on," the commander said, relaxing into a smile. "In fact, if you're willing, I'd appreciate it if you'd give a demonstration for the whole company sometime, and maybe even a few lessons if you're ..." He broke off suddenly, his eyes narrowing with a pa.s.sing thought. "By the way," he said with forced casualness, "before we get too far off the subject, may I ask what prompted this little demonstration just now?"

"I-I was saying that the k-the gentleman here seemed a bit young to be a Legionnaire, sir."

The commander ran a quick, appraising eye over the youth.

"Nonsense," he said firmly. "He may look young, soldier, but he's the same age you are. Isn't that right?"

"He is?"

"Isn't that right?"

"Oh ... yes, sir!"

"Because if he wasn't, he wouldn't be able to stand duty with us in a casino. Understood?"

"Yes, sir. Understood, sir."

"Very good." The commander nodded. "Be sure to spread the word to the others."

"Right away, sir." The Legionnaire saluted and fled to the cover of his original group.

"Sorry if that's a problem," Doc said, "but Junior here's been traveling with me ever since his mom died. We hire out as a team, sort of a package deal. The lieutenant there said she wasn't sure she could take us, but I thought she had cleared it with you before she gave us the final call."

Something flitted across the commander's face, but was gone before it really registered.

"Nothing we can't work out." He smiled. "Besides, he seems as solid as any of our regular troops, though that may not seem like a compliment to some. Anyway, glad to have him aboard ... and the same goes for all of you, for that matter. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to circulate a bit."

"Good luck, Captain," Tiffany chirped as he turned to leave.

"Thank you ... umm ..."

"Tiffany," she supplied with a smile, arching her back slightly.

The commander's eyes flickered over her, a bit more slowly than when he had been a.s.sessing Doc's son.

"Right," he said. "Well ... later."

"Wipe your chin, Tiffany," Lex said softly, nudging her as she watched the commander walk away. "Really. I thought you liked them a bit broader in the shoulder than that."

"He has other attractions," the actress purred, following the Captain with predator's eyes.

"Oh? Like what?"

She glanced at him in genuine surprise.

"You mean you really don't know?" she said. "My G.o.d, I spotted him as soon as he came in for the briefing. He even told us who he was."

Lex shrugged. "So he's rich. So what?"

"Rich doesn't start to cover it," Tiffany insisted. "That, gentlemen, is Willard Phule, the fourth richest man in the universe under forty-five who isn't gay or married and monogamous."

Doc frowned. "How do you know that?"

"How does a bug know when it's going to rain?" Lex said dryly. "Yes, I start to see the attraction he has for you, Tiff."

"Hey, a girl's got to look out for her future," the actress said. "Our business trades on looks, and makeup can only cover so much so long. Catch you later, guys. I have more questions to ask our captain just to make sure he doesn't forget who I am."

CHAPTER FIVE.

Journal #203.

Despite the dubious beginning, relations between the Legionnaires and the actor/auxiliaries improved steadily during our voyage to Lorelei. While not quite accepting their new comrades into the fold, the company seemed at least willing not to condemn them as a group, judging them instead on their performance and character traits as individuals.

In part, this was doubtless due to the shared experience of the in-flight lessons on casino gambling and scams taught by Tullie Bascom and the instructors from the school he ran for casino dealers.