Outsiders. Part 8

I'm right here. How can I help?

Please, I know I don't deserve it, but I want another chance. Can you forgive me?

There is nothing to forgive.

I have so much to learn. I want you to teach me.

Nothing would make me happier.

I know something that would make me incredibly happy right now.

What is that?

Being held by you.

I can arrange that.

But I don't know where I am.

It doesn't matter. Focus on my energy. I will find you. Stay exactly where you are.

Yazhi? Is this going to be all right?

I promise you it will.

Yazhi opened her eyes, sprang out of the chair, and scooped her keys off the hook. Within seconds she was in her car and headed toward Lower Antelope Canyon. Her heart was racing. Calm down, Yaz. She's fine. Just keep it light for now, nothing too heavy. She's had an emotionally wrenching day. She doesn't need to know how frantic you've been. It won't help her.

When Yazhi turned into the visitor's parking lot, she put the Jeep in park and closed her eyes once again.

After several seconds of quiet concentration, Yazhi nodded. She removed a large flashlight from the glove compartment and checked her handheld GPS. Although she knew every inch of this ground, the darkness had a way of transforming the landscape. She didn't want to take any chances.

Yazhi marked the starting point on the GPS and turned to her right. Although there was no trail, the flashlight offered sufficient illumination, and she had little trouble finding her way. She traveled soundlessly for nearly ten minutes and then extinguished the flashlight before continuing another fifty yards.

I'm almost there, Renee.

How do you know?

"Because I can see you." Yazhi laughed with relief and turned the flashlight back on as Renee spun around on the rock and gaped at her.

"Very funny." Renee jumped down from the rock, lifted Yazhi off the ground, and swung her around. "Boy, am I glad to see you."

"Me too."

For a while, they simply held each other and rocked in place.

"Thank you for coming to get me," Renee said as she buried her face in Yazhi's hair.

Yazhi could feel Renee shiver. "I always make it a point to rescue damsels in distress. If you've ever watched old Westerns, you must know it's what we Indians do. I wouldn't want to ruin our reputation."

"I didn't know you people were so concerned with PR," Renee said.

"Only when dealing with extra special VIPs," Yazhi answered.

"Am I one of those?"

Yazhi tightened her grip. "Oh, yes, you are most definitely one of those."

"Yaz?"

"Hmm?"

"Take me home, please."

The raw note of pleading momentarily cut through Yazhi's resolve to keep the reunion lighthearted. "Yes. Of course." She stepped back and took Renee's hand. "You must be thirsty."

"And hungry. Don't forget hungry."

Yazhi chuckled. "I think I can help you out there." She tucked the flashlight under her arm, reached into her coat pocket, and produced a small bottle of water. When Renee had taken it from her, Yazhi reached back into the same pocket and pulled out a protein bar. "It's not exactly filet mignon, but it will replenish your energy," she said, apologetically.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you."

The two women walked on hand-in-hand as Renee consumed the protein bar and washed it down with the water.

"Better?"

"Much. Thank you," Renee said.

"Part of the job."

"What? To come out in the middle of the night and search in the dark for idiotic hot-heads who lose their way?"

"Please, don't do that." Yazhi squeezed Renee's hand more tightly.

"Do what?"

"Demean yourself in that way. Thoughts are real things, Renee. When you call yourself names and think about yourself in those terms, you send a message to the Universe that that is the sort of treatment you expect and deserve. You attract that behavior to yourself."

"How did you get to be so wise?"

Yazhi shrugged. "I've had good teachers, a lifetime to learn, and lots of practice."

They walked on a bit farther.

"Your brother called you a great healer."

"My brother is premature."

"Are you a healer?"

"My mother is the healer for my people. She has been grooming me so that one day I might take her place. I hope that day is far in the future." Yazhi released Renee's hand. "Here we are." She directed the flashlight beam toward the pa.s.senger door handle and opened the door for Renee.

As they pulled out of the parking lot, Renee said, "You know what happened with my family, right? I mean, you saw it last night?"

Yazhi noted that Renee was no longer looking at her, and that her knee was bouncing nervously. She sighed. "I did experience your memory with you last night, yes."

Before Renee could say anything else, Yazhi continued, "But I want you know I didn't ask to see that. I would never intrude intentionally. I respect your privacy. The subconscious mind takes over during sleep and it is more difficult to control what we are privy to."

"It's okay, I guess." Renee chewed her lower lip. "My parents weren't bad people, really."

"I make no judgments, Renee, except to say that they did you a disservice by making you feel the problem was with you. That you were somehow abnormal."

"Wasn't it? Wasn't I?"

"No. You saw what you saw. Children are far more open to psychic experiences and abilities because they have not yet been taught to fear such things or to disbelieve. All you were doing was describing your reality," Yazhi explained. "Because your parents' perspective was so much more limited, they could not see as you did, and that unknown frightened them. It is unfortunate that they chose to deal with their fear by isolating and stifling you instead of educating themselves and encouraging you."

"You are angry with them."

"I don't know them," Yazhi said, simply and without rancor. "I am angry that a beautiful young girl with so many gifts was brought up to think that she was 'less than,' and that she believed she had to hide her true self in order to survive."

Yazhi turned into the driveway and cut the engine, but made no move to get out of the Jeep. Renee had her hands in her lap. Her eyes were downcast.

"You keep talking about my true self, but I have no idea who that is."

Yazhi reached across and covered Renee's hands with her own. "When you are ready, I will show you. You are more beautiful than you can imagine."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I can see the real you-the person Renee Maupin was born to be. And you will see her too. She's very special. You do know that your name means, 'reborn,' right?"

"I hadn't thought about it, but you're right."

"And so you shall be," Yazhi said. She released Renee's hands and got out of the Jeep.

"Yaz?" Renee asked, as they crossed the threshold into the house.

"Yes?" Renee's use of her nickname brought a lump to Yazhi's throat.

"Will you hold me tonight?"

Yazhi smiled brightly. "It would be my pleasure."

Renee, coc.o.o.ned safely in Yazhi's arms, began to drift. "Yaz?" she mumbled.

"Hmm?"

"How come I went so many years without any visions or anything else happening?"

Yazhi sat up a little straighter. "Your fear allowed you to suppress your abilities. You ignored or lost touch with your guides. You filled up your life with noise and drowned them out."

"Yeah, that makes sense. But then why did the accident in the canyon change all that? I still had just as much noise in my life."

"Yes, but before you resumed that life, you had a near-death experience. You spent time in a coma, which is a subconscious state. You were suspended in a place where you were closer to your guides, with no defense mechanism or filter standing between you and them. The channel you'd closed was reopened. Your spirit guides brought you back so that you could be the woman you were truly meant to be. You got a second chance."

"Yaz?"

"Yes."

"Thank you for saving my life and for not giving up on me."

"Never."

Renee slid into slumber with a smile on her face. When next she awakened, it was still dark outside. She was curled up against Yazhi's side, her head pillowed on Yazhi's chest, her arm thrown possessively across Yazhi's middle, and her leg sprawled across Yazhi's pelvis.

For the first time since she'd awakened in the hospital after the accident, Renee hadn't had a single vision, or even a dream that she could remember. She smiled and sighed happily.

"Are you usually giddy in the middle of the night?"

Yazhi's voice sounded sleep-filled and incredibly s.e.xy to Renee's ears.

"Not usually, no. But in this case, I'm making an exception." Renee lifted her head. She could just make out Yazhi's exquisite features in the moonlight sifting in through the window.

"You are, huh?"

"Oh, yes." No longer able to resist, Renee traced her fingers along Yazhi's chiseled cheekbones and full lips. Renee heard Yazhi's sharp intake of breath and it sent shock waves directly to her center. She swallowed hard and cleared her throat. "This twin flame thing..."

"Mmm?"

"You said we've been together in many lifetimes, right?"

"Yes."

"How does that work?"

"We are all made of energy. Energy never dies, it merely reconst.i.tutes. Our energies, in whatever lifetime, always have, and always will, seek each other."

Renee absorbed that information. "So we were destined to find each other?"

"That's complicated. I believe in destiny points."

"Destiny points?"

"Yes, in other words, there are certain events that are outlined in the map of our lives. But because we have free will, once we get to those points, we can choose to take the destined path, or head in another direction. If we head in another direction, obviously it can change the way the rest of our lives unfold."

"That makes sense. So, my accident in the canyon and your saving me was a destiny point?"

"Exactly."