Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shuraba Sugiru Vol 3 Chapter 5

#5: Waiting to be Confessed to is Mayhem

Just under those feelings I was persuaded by Masuzu, and I couldn’t help but continue investigating Fuyuumi Ai.

"......So annoying......"

The weather was so hot it seemed to suck strength out of people, and being asked to do such a thing made me really depressed. Out of all the ｢boyfriends｣ of the world, were they driven so hard day and night for their girlfriends? If that was the case, then I would absolutely be anti-love.

Bearing this kind of lazy att.i.tude, I finally finished the fourth day of summer cram school.

After the last cla.s.s, the pair of childhood friends Kaoru & Fuyuumi immediately came to talk to me like yesterday. Fuyuumi was the same as always, restless and unable to calm down whenever she was in front of me. She couldn’t have gotten in a habit already?

"Eita, do you want to get a cup of tea today?"

"Sure, we can go wherever."

Thankfully, Kaoru invited me to go, so I didn’t have waste time approaching Fuyuumi.

Kaoru shouldn’t be arranging this because he knows my and Masuzu intentions?

"Are we going to the same café as yesterday?"

"Today I want to eat sweets, so lets go somewhere else. Right, A-chan?"

"Y-yeah......"

Fuyuumi unnaturally nodded, and Kaoru laughed almost mischievously.

"Sorry, sorry. A-chan just wants to be with Eita, so wherever we go is fine."

"Y-yea...... Hey! W-W-W-W-what are you saying, idiot?! Don’t say stupid things, idiot!"

Fuyuumi blushed, and slapped Kaoru’s back. These two had a really nice feeling with each other.

"S-So, I’ll go with you today too!"

Fuyuumi brushed back her long hair, and pointed her hand at me. I was already used to seeing this pose of hers.

We went to the shopping center in the opposite direction of the station, and walked into a snack shop.

"There’s a lot a desserts that have bananas in them here."

"Ah, desserts?"

I followed Kaoru, and sat on the inner seat. I looked around the store, and saw there were no male guests. That being said, with the extremely pink interior of the shop, a man would never step in.

However, Kaoru was not shy at all as he called the waitress and said,

"I want a jumbo banana ice cream parfait. Please add extra almonds, and replace the ice cubes with strawberries. For a drink I’d like a hot house blend coffee. What would Eita like?"

"I-I’ll have the same."

"Then A-chan?"

"The same will be fine."

"Then three of the same~!"

Kaoru shouted like a child, and held out three fingers. Even though the waitress sn.i.g.g.e.red, Kaoru did not care.

"Does Kaoru come to this store often?"

"Ah? Let’s say occasionally."

Kaoru tapped his feet and began to hum, ｢Is it here yet? Is it here yet~♪｣. Although I always knew he liked sweats, I had no idea he liked it that much.

After about ten minutes, the desserts we ordered arrived. Kaoru looked very happy, while I on the other hand felt somewhat uncomfortable eating the banana ice cream parfait—

"Fuyuumi you’re not eating the bananas?"

"Mhn."

After eating all the whipped cream and ice cream, Fuyuumi was left with only four pieces of banana on her plate.

"Why? You hate them?"

"I love them."

"......?"

What was with this?

Ordering a banana parfait and leaving the banana was exactly the same as ordering a pork bun and not eating the pork.

"Hey, Kaoru, can you help me finish this?"

"I guess I have no choice. It’d be a waste to leave it."

Kaoru smiled, and it definitely did not look like he had no choice. He ate the bananas in a flash. I didn’t expect he’d be able to finish that after eating a jumbo banana ice cream parfait. What happened to the Kaoru who normally eats small portions?

With this mystery unresolved, we finished the ice cream parfaits, and began to chat as we drank tea.

"Although this is changing the subject, which kindergarten did Eita go to?"

When Kaoru brought up the question, I didn’t know why Fuyuumi’s eyebrows twitched.

Not understanding anything, I answered,

"Wakaba kindergarten."

"During kindergarten, did you have any interesting memories?"

What was with Kaoru? He’s never asked things like that before.

"Oh, nothing worth mentioning......?"

I lost my voice.

Because sitting opposite of me, Fuyuumi’s look suddenly changed.

She was clutching a wet napkin, nearly leaning forward, and staring at me. Under that kind of glare, I think I finally understand why she was called demon disciplinary club member.

"W-what’s wrong, Fuyuumi?! D-did I do anything?"

"Nothing!"

It had to be something......

She was clenching her teeth and her eyes were bloodshot.

With cold sweat dripping down my back, I said,

"O-Oh right, the autumn trip where we dug for potatoes was really fun. When we dug those potatoes up, we roasted them on the spot and ate them. It was really delicious."

"............P-Potatoes............"

Fuyuumi hung her shoulder, very disappointed. What was with her? Did she hate potatoes? But yesterday she was happily eating the large fries.

Fuyuumi stiffly smiled, raised her head again and said,

"B-But, your memories can’t just only be about digging potatoes? You should have some other too?"

"Uh......"

I folded my arms and tried rummaging through my memories.

"Right, I remembered something about when I was in Star cla.s.s."

"Eh, Star Cla.s.s? W-W-What? C-can you say it in more detail?!"

"Once, when my grandparents who lived nearby organized this taro cook-out, they used this huge! Gigantic! Pot to cook! Eating piping hot taro on a cold day, it was really delicious!"

"You only have memories of potatoes?!" [1]

Fuyuumi slammed on the table and stood up, nearly causing the coffee cups to jump.

"Ah, I see. You love potatoes most, right? Nothing else is better than potatoes, right? If that’s the case, we should order some more then!"

"S-stop! Don’t keep pressing the call bell!" [2]

Fuyuumi shouted at the waitress who rushed over,

"Add another ten orders of large fries!"

"You eat that much?"

"It’s for you to eat!"

We noisily argued, and Kaoru’s ｢head｣ was soon lying flat on the table, just like yesterday in the family restaurant.

In a dying voice, he said,

"......Hey, Eita."

"What is it?"

"Tsundere VS. Slow-Witted is really the worst matchup, and I really regret taking this silly job."

I didn’t understand a word of what he said.

—In the end, this restaurant did not have large orders of fries on the menu (obviously), and I narrowly escaped a death from eating too many fries.

The reason for Fuyuumi’s anger was still something I didn’t understand.

Furthermore, the plan to figure out whether Michel actually existed came to nothing.

 

♦

"Eita-kun really is useless."

Masuzu said.

Masuzu was commenting (honorifics mode) on my hard work from yesterday.

Speaking of why she went back to using honorifics, it was because she listened to my previous request—of course not. In fact, it was because we were together with Chiwa and Hime.

It was Sat.u.r.day afternoon.

We members of ｢Jien-Otsu｣ met on an open-air veranda of a café not far from the shop I visited with Kaoru and Fuyuumi yesterday.

Chiwa and I already spoke about it before lunchtime during cram school, so we decided to have a club reunion and fetched the other two.

"Masuzu, you can’t say that. I tried my best."

"Yeah, Natsukawa. There are few people who will waste their energy like Ei-kun, right?"

Hey Chiwa, why did you bring that up?

"Eita just hasn’t become serious yet. In about 120 million years, he’ll awaken and save the planet."

Hime, if I become serious after 120 million years, everyone will be dead.

"Anyways, this café is a pretty nice place."

In order to escape the criticism, I tried to change the subject.

Around us were very fashionable and s.p.a.cious buildings covered with white ceilings, and here there were coffee tables that sat about thirty. The buildings around us had all set up display windows, and while drinking tea we could see the fashion stores and boutiques around us.

"Right. This store feels great!"

"Really? I feel rather nauseous from being attacked by ｢Fashion Germs｣."

"......I feel really disturbed drinking tea outside."

Although Chiwa was very happy, it seemed like Masuzu and Hime did not rate this place very high.

"Why? In order to be popular, it’s necessary to understand the trendiest shops, right?"

"Where did you learn that kind of thing?"

"In magazines, you see."

Chiwa took a youth fashion machine called ｢PACHI LEMON｣ from her bag. Ever since the start of high school, Chiwa has really loved reading this magaizine, and often liked to show me how ｢this magazine has become the ONIONLEADER for female high school students｣! For a time, I didn’t understand how this had anything to do with onions, but I later found it was actually called OPINIONLEADER; my childhood friend just couldn’t read English.

The pages of the magazine ruffled as Masuzu flipped through it,

"I see. Everyone becomes frivolous and indecent because they’re reading these kinds of things."

"Right—because all the popular girls read this."

"That’s really crazy, hey ♪"

Shreedddddddddd!*

"Why are you tearing it!"

Chiwa shouted when she saw her ｢Pachi Lemon｣ so brutally torn.

Masuzu exhaled, and very happily wiped the sweat from her forehead.

"Ah, because I didn’t like it."

"That’s not a reason to tear apart other people’s books!"

"I actually had a very good reason. I didn’t like it so much, I nearly died ♪"

"Whatever the reason, I can’t forgive you. Pay me back d.a.m.nn!!"

"I know—I'm sorry—"

When Masuzu apologized, you couldn’t even see the ｢reflect｣ part of ｢self-reflect｣. [3] Then she turned to the pa.s.sing waiter and ordered a ｢large meatball spaghetti｣.

Heeyyyy.

Even though Chiwa was a carnivorous Chihuahua, if you tore apart the book she loved to read, how could you make her mood change for the better—?

"(Sound of sucking) How big are ｢large meatb.a.l.l.s｣? ♪"

Her mood got better!

......Well, I guess you could say that was the good thing about Chiwa.

Hime picked up the two pieces of ｢PACHI LEMON｣, and began to read while repeatedly nodding her head.

"Chihuahua, where is the readers’ contribution box?"

"Ah, Himecchi is interested? You see, it’s on this page."

Hime stared intently at that page and said,

"There are no contributions from companions or lovers from past lives, why is that?"

Ah, Hime. I don’t think that would be published. After all, ｢PACHI LEMON｣ is not a supernatural magazine.

"I don’t know about that, but there are some magic charms—look here."

Chiwa pointed her readers to the magic page.

"Rumor has it that ｢A-chan’s Super Victory｣’s charms are really effective." [4]

"That penname is ridiculous."

My interest to read was raised slightly:

★ Secret ♪ A charm to make the boy you like to confess to you! First, don’t eat your favorite foods for five days! If you give them to your friends to eat, maybe it’ll be more effective? Second, at seven o’clock in the evening of the second day, watch your sweetheart’s face and chant the following charm! ｢Let my wish come true, moo ~ nyaa ~ mee ~｣. Repeat it for thirty seconds (roughly around that is OK). But if your sweetheart notices, you’re OUT!

[5]

"......Ah—"

Honest, this kind of content gave the impression, ｢What the h.e.l.l｣?"

"It’s such a troublesome charm. Are there actually people who do it?"

"Agreed. If one chants a curse and does not harvest their lover’s blood as a catalyst, the results will be very poor."

"Hime...... please don’t do that kind of thing......"

Before you cast your curse, you’ll be handcuffed.

"Not at all! ｢A-chan’s Super Victory｣’s charms really work too! Because she scored the highest on ｢PACHI LEMON｣’s cute popularity test, she’s a really amazing person!"

Masuzu nodded her head and said,

"So if you say that, can Harusaki-san refrain from eating her favorite meat for five days? Maybe you’ll even get confessed to."

"Okay. Then I’ll start today!"

Chiwa answered enthusiastically, but then the waiter approached her from behind and said,

"Sorry for the wait, a large meatball spaghetti."

"Wow —♪ The meat is like a tennis ball!"

The magic ended.

Masuzu stared at Chiwa slurping and devouring the pasta, and said,

"But as the young maidens club, it’s unacceptable to not have received one or two confessions from boys."

"I thought confessions were something that came after becoming popular?"

Masuzu shrugged her shoulders after receiving the tsukkomi, and said,

"When you’re testing for university, do you intend to study several years until you make the 100% pa.s.s rate before you finally take the test?"

"No, but these are two different things."

"They’re the same. The battlefield will not wait for people to grow up. Even if one is not fully mature, one must actively seek popularity."

Ah, that was such a beautiful line.

And yet it made it seem like she had some sense…….

"About these confessions, is there anything in the notebook about it?"

Chiwa said, with her mouth stuffed with meat sauce.

"It’s not that there isn’t."

Masuzu looked serious, and took out the eighth grade notebook that contained my dark history. Did this girl even carry it with her during the summer?

......Did I really write something like that?

Although this is rather pitiful, I have never confessed to anyone before.

I’ve only had the experience of being confessed to once, and I mentioned it to Chiwa before. That was when I was in Star Cla.s.s of Wakaba kindergarten.

But I didn’t write anything about kindergarten in my notebook......?

As I pondered this, Masuzu started reading.

July 10 Clear "Summer is upon us, Hurricane ‘Me’ is approaching......" Our eyes met again. Today was four times. Yesterday was three times. Tomorrow is...... WHY? My fair angel, locked in this cage known as a cla.s.sroom. Originally she wasn’t supposed to love me. I am a man with sinful (KARMA). But there’s nothing I can do—because you’ve fallen for me already? It’s bad, right? "It’s really bad......" It’s hot, right? "It’s really hot......" But I was a Holy Dragon Knight of Dawn (BURNING FIGHTING FIGHTER) dedicated to fighting the Evil Dragon Race (WYVERN). This was no fate (DESTINY) an ordinary human can get involved in…… Before the Angel’s (her) love (LOVE) ignites, I must break up. I must take advantage of her untainted white love before it turns to a burning black hatred. I must take advantage before our bodies are burned with the crimson flames of war— But, alas. But if she gives me a letter, I’ll guess I’ll take it—?

"Kill meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

The fashionable outdoor café echoed with a man’s shout.

"Kill meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. You might as well kill meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

The man tore off his shirt wildly to the side, and rolled about on the ground with his upper body bare on the stone floor.

He shouted, penetrating the white roof towards the summer sun.

"Kill me. Hey! Kill me! There’s no meaning if sc.u.m like me are alive—no meaninggggggggggg!"

The guests and employees gathered in the fashionable coffee shop, and they simply looked at the man as if it were a dirty thing.

And that dirty thing’s name was—Kidou Eita.

Just me.

It’s me.

It’s...... Me......

"Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee kill meeeeeeeee...... kill this useless, scarred, and traumatized man now...... wuuahhhhh......"

I cried and begged, but my girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, and childhood friend completely ignored me.

"Hey, what happened afterwards? Was he confessed to by that ｢Angel locked in the cage｣?"

"Well, he didn’t write about what happened aftwards."

"Wha—? Isn’t what happens after the confession the important part—?"

"Agreed. The love tragedy of the previous Holy Dragon Knight of Dawn, to the ex-girlfriend, is very deeply interesting."

Even Hime was saying it?

Well......

Since you all wanted to know, then I’ll tell you!

 

—It was a hot afternoon, just like today.

In order to ｢let that girl have an easier time confessing｣, I kept wandering the grounds after school.

That girl—fair angel (her name was Tanaka Rie) was a student council committee member, so she had to had stay at school until student council ended.

There was a cla.s.smate conducting club activities, he couldn’t help but ask me,"｢You’re in the go-home club, so why are you still here｣?"

Chiwa also said to me on her way to the kendo dojo,"｢You seem to be hungrily running about everywhere, just like a bear before hibernation｣?" But I continued to impatiently wait for the confession to come.

Like this, I walked back and forth on the east floor near the second year cla.s.sroom around seven times before I found her.

Fair-skinned angel.

In the twilight of the late setting sun, surrounded by an empty cla.s.sroom, she stood alone.

—It couldn’t be that she was waiting for me?

While I peeked at her from behind the shadows, I wiped my sweaty hands on the pants of my uniform.

Finally.

Confession.

I was going to get a confession.

......Haha, I couldn’t stand it.

But as I felt very embarra.s.sed and hesitated in front of the cla.s.sroom—a handsome guy wearing a soccer uniform walked in from the other side.

I quickly hid behind the pillar in the corridor.

Probably because he forgot something in there, the guy walked into the cla.s.sroom where Angel was.

—What, you unpleasant guy.

This angel was about to take off from her cage, so don’t pull on her legs.

Really, that why I say athletic guys are—

I swore rudely in my heart, but the dialogue in the cla.s.sroom soon reached my ears.

"Shintani-kun, thank you for coming."

"No problem. What is it Tanaka?"

"Actually, I have something to tell you."

"Huh?"

"I have, always, always—liked the Shintani-kun!"

"Eh!"

Sfuuuuu~ ~ ~ ~

"I'm sorry. When I suddenly say such a thing, you must be embarra.s.sed......"

"That’s not true."

"Huh? What did you say?"

"I also, I also like you! I have always liked Tanaka!"

"Ah! This is like a dream!"

I seem to have unconsciously backed off.

My b.u.t.t hit the fire door behind me, and the corridor resounded with a stupid ｢creaak｣ sound.

Obviously, the two people in the cla.s.sroom noticed it.

"Hey, who’s there?!"

He gave his brutal athletic yell.

If one was human in flesh and blood, one would immediately run secretly away.

However, having inherited the Holy Dragon Race’s proud and n.o.ble blood, I was different.

"Yaaahahhhhhhhhhhh! I coming you b.a.s.t.a.r.dddddddddddddd!"

I used a rolling skill I learned from wrestling cla.s.s, and rolled into the cla.s.sroom!

Then I blew air with my fists, towards the opposite direction of what those two seemed to be scared of—

"Woooaaaahhahhahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Burn with my dragon energy (DRAGONIC AURA)! Fate Dark Black Flame (FATE DARK BLACK FLAME)!"

I punched the blackboard!

"Bang!"

I punched!

"Bang bang bang!"

I punchedddddddddddddd!

"Bang — — — — —! It hurtssssssssssssssssss!"

My fist was sc.r.a.ped.

"......Hufffffffffff!"

Then I finally stopped firing

Then I finally stopped firing ｢beams｣ [6], and I turned to face them two.

I endured the bursts of pain in my hand and I put my thumbs up,

"Rest a.s.sured, I’ve defeated the enemy!"

"............?"

"............?"

I’ll never forget the look in their eyes.

The guy's eyes seemed to say, ｢What, can’t this b.a.s.t.a.r.d see the situation｣?

Angel’s eyes seemed to say, ｢Such a disgusting and bothersome person should die. He ruined such a good atmosphere｣.

I felt shame.

"......Well, that’s all!"

After sticking my thumbs up again, I ran out of the cla.s.sroom.

What happened after that, I don’t remember.

My only surviving memory, is when I was on my bed blindly cursing the world.

Inexcusable......

I will not forgive this corrupt world!

Unforgivable, Angel!

No, it was Tanaka!

—Well, even if it was anger out of humiliation!

 

And so the above memory ended.

......d.a.m.n, now that I think of it, I told it in very great detail. It makes me want to hang myself.

"Eita-kun, what were you being so noisy about? Are you acting abnormally because the weather is hot?"

Masuzu tilted her head, puzzled.

"You suddenly undressed. Is it really that hot?"

Chiwa had wide eyes as she picked up the shirt I threw off to the side.

Then Hime scurried up to me and hugged me gently,

"Eita, hold me?"

"Why do you suddenly want to hug?"

"Because Eita seems to be in pain."

"............Hime————!"

I hugged Hime tightly.

Because we both had Chuunibyou, I always felt we shared some empathy.

No, it didn’t matter what was the excuse.

Right now, I just missed having a lover's skin......

"Ei-kun~? What are you doing in broad daylight?"

"Hahaha. Do you really get aroused by Akishino-san? Are you infatuated · with · b.u.t.ts?"

My girlfriend and childhood friend gave threatening sounds, and I’d probably have to bear with it later, but for the time being I’ll forget about it for now.

 

♦

After Sunday, it was the sixth day of summer cram school.

Today at the end of cla.s.ses, I didn’t feel like going home, so I stayed in the study room.

I was planning on reviewing the previous cla.s.s, and when I was staring at the thick cla.s.s textbook—

"Fuyuumi......?"

I felt like I saw Fuyuumi Ai’s shadow flash by the doorway, and I tilted my head in doubt.

She should have gone home with Kaoru, so why would she be here?

As I thought about this, I wanted to continue studying, but I soon noticed Fuyuumi’s shadow on the windows. Fuyuumi was hiding behind the door, peeking from the side. It seemed like she didn’t notice that I saw her.

The time was exactly 7:00pm, and the outside was definitely very dark.

Maybe because the skies were still bright a few moments ago, I didn’t notice her shadow reflecting in the windows.

I originally wanted to call out to her, but seeing her serious and thoughtful expression, I decided not to bother.

It was just like—right. Her expression was like the time when Angel was about to confess to that guy.

Fuyuumi clasped her hands over her chest just like she was praying or worshiping, and she began to mumble something.

Her voice was too quiet, so I couldn’t hear her from my seat—but it sounded like some kind of curse. What was it? Was Fuyuumi actually like Hime with Chuunibyou? Did she intend to use a curse to kill me?

After about thirty seconds, the spell was over.

Fuyuumi looked relaxed as she stood up, and afterwards fled away.

"......What happened?"

I stretched my shoulders and muttered.

Chiwa, Masuzu, and Hime were definitely very eccentric.

But this rival disciplinary committee member was also considerably strange…….

 

 

Notes Jump up↑ Taro is a root, but its name in j.a.panese can be roughly translated to be mean “village potato”. Jump up↑ I’ve never seen this in the United States, but I’m guessing there’s this bell you press to call the waiter. Jump up↑ Reflect is a two-character word in Chinese, so I tried to better express reflect on one’s actions as “self-reflect” to match the wordplay. Jump up↑ The Chinese isn’t really clear if it’s A-chan or not, so someone probably needs to check the original j.a.panese. Jump up↑ The nyaa is cat sfx, mee is sheep sfx. Jump up↑ Original text is奥义. I had no clue what it is, and it doesn’t come up in my dictionary. D: