One Night Stand Part 17

"I guess there is nothing else to say." I sucked my breath in to hold back my tears of disappointment. What was the point of expressing my emotions and hurt? He would only think I was a psycho. The only one who would understand my feelings right now was Alice.

"I wanted to explain to you why Gabby and I were engaged. I didn't want you to think that I was some sort of b.a.s.t.a.r.d that would be chasing you and your sister. I don't feel anything for your sister except friendship. I don't have that sort of chemistry with her."

"You told me you wanted to have s.e.x with her." I bit my lower lip, jealousy bursting to make its way out.

"I'm not sure I said that, but maybe I intimated something about making the marriage a complete one. I was only saying that to get a rise out of you."

"Well that's nice."

"I act stupid when I'm around you. I'm not myself."

"Who are you then? ET?"

"Quite possibly."

"That's what I thought." I nodded thoughtfully. "You're an alien from outer s.p.a.ce."

"And you're from inner s.p.a.ce."

"Something like that." I said with a smile and then he started tickling me. I fell back on the ground giggling and tried to push him off of me, but he continued tickling me under my arms, on my stomach and by my knees. "Xander, don't." I gasped as we rolled around on the blanket.

"I didn't know you were so ticklish." He grinned down at me, his eyes light as he gazed at my face.

"Well now you do."

"Yes, I do." He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and then lay down on the blanket next to me, so that our shoulders were touching. "It's not all about the money, you know."

"What?" I said softly as I stared up at the stars in the sky.

"I don't want the company so that I can make more money. I already have a lot of money."

"Okay." I said softly, hoping he would tell me why he wanted the company.

"I have a nonprofit in Africa. We help to purify water with chlorine machines and we dig wells." His voice was soft. "Right now, I'm only able to donate a million dollars a year through the company foundation, but if I took charge of the company, I could change the rules."

"You don't have shareholders?"

"We're a privately held company. We have a board, but it's not large and I can control them." His voice was pa.s.sionate. "I want to be able to do this. My family has a lot of money. I want to be able to do some good with it. It's really important to me."

"I understand." And I did. It was a worthy cause. A very worthy cause. A cause that surprised me if I was honest. I felt guilty then. I realized that I wanted this handsome, s.e.xy man to want me, to tell me that he loved me and I didn't know a thing about him. All I knew was that he was good with his tongue. I felt ashamed of myself. "So how long have you had the nonprofit?" I asked softly as we lay there staring up at the night sky.

"Since I was 17." He said and I could feel him looking at the side of my face. "I started it my last year of high school with some money my dad gave me. He said I could have a car or I could use the money for something good."

"And you turned down the car?"

"Yes." He said, his voice low. "I had just done a science project on cholera and water borne diseases and there were all these people dying in different African countries just from drinking water." He sighed. "I didn't think it was right."

"So you wanted to help?" I asked softly.

"Yes. I knew I had to help." He said pa.s.sionately. "It was actually something I could help to fix. People dying of diseases in water is preventable. It's not like strife in the Middle East or wars. This is something tangible. This is something that can be fixed. And we know how to fix it. They know how to fix it." He rolled over and I looked at him then. His eyes were blazing. "When I got into the family business, I made sure my father invested in some different water purification systems. We were going to use them in..." His voice trailed off. "Sorry, I'm boring you."

"Not at all." I shook my head and touched the side of his face. "What happened?"

"My parents died in a car crash and my grandfather was no longer interested in helping; at least not without a set of rules."

"Like you getting married?"

"Yes." He sighed. "I resisted as long as I could and I tried to use my own money, but my trust is tied up in so many ways and there are restrictions on how I can use the money. I don't have full access to it until I'm 35."

"Oh wow."

"So I finally said, f.u.c.k it. If I need to be married to do what I need to do, then I need to get married. And then your sister needed a husband. So we came to an arrangement. It seemed smart. It seemed practical. And it was safe. There were no feelings to complicate matters or make anything messy."

"That's good." I looked down, trying not to show him how hurt and confused I was again.

"I really like you, Liv." His fingers grabbed my chin and he made me look at him. "But I don't even know you, you know. I don't understand why or how I could feel so close to you. Or how I could miss you that morning when you were gone. I'm a practical guy. A resourceful guy, but I don't do relationships or emotions. Or feelings. They're not to be trusted."

"I understand."

"Do you really?" His eyes searched mine.

"Yes." I leaned forward and gave him a light kiss. "I understand Xander."

"I can't just let this craziness between us change everything. I can't let my emotions influence this decision." He sounded as if he were trying to convince both of us.

"You need to do what you need to do." I pulled back slightly and blinked rapidly. I would not let myself cry in front of him.

"Will you spend the night with me?" He asked softly. "We don't have to have s.e.x. I just want to hold you in my arms. I just want to feel your heart beat next to mine. I just want to wake up with you still there next to me."

"No, sorry." I shook my head and stood up slowly. "I'm sorry, Xander, but like I told you before, I'm not that kind of girl. Thank you for explaining why you're marrying Gabby, but that doesn't change anything. You're still her fiance and she is still my sister and I'm still me. And I don't want to be the other woman in any sense of the word." I straightened my dress and looked down at him, trying to remember the look of hurt on his face. I was pretty sure I'd never see this side of him again. "You're a great guy Xander, but you're not my great guy. Good night." I said and nodded my head and walked back across the lawn and into the house. Don't trip, don't trip was all I could think as I hurried away from him, with my heart racing and tears streaming down my face.

Chapter Ten.

"Do you think your parents are going to be p.i.s.sed?" Alice asked me as we crept into our apartment early the next morning.

"Nah, they most probably won't even notice we aren't there." I lied.

"I'm glad you wanted to leave early as well." Alice sighed. "I've got a splitting headache."

"Me too." I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "I didn't want to deal with any of them this morning."

"Yeah, me either." She yawned. "It was a good idea to wake me up at four am so we could get out of there before anyone woke up, but I'm still tired."

"Are you saying you want to go back to bed?" I laughed and she nodded.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted to talk about what happened last night." She collapsed onto the couch.

"What do you mean?"

"I know something happened between you and Xander after we got back."

"How?"

"I just do." She wrapped her arms around her legs. "Now are you going to tell me or do I have to tickle it out of you?"

"Oh Gabby." I groaned and sat down on the couch next to her. "It's such a mess."

"Oh no, what happened?" She looked at me with big eyes. "You didn't sleep with him again did you?"

"No," I shook my head. "We were in the backyard, Alice."

"Did you give him a b.l.o.w.j.o.b?"

"No Alice." I rolled my eyes.

"Did he go down on you?"

"Nothing like that." I giggled. "He told me that he's raising money to help people in Africa so they can have clean drinking water." I sighed. "He's a really good man. Not as much of a jerk as I thought."

"Huh?" She sat up. "I'm sorry, but what? I'm confused. Why is that bad? Isn't that good? You found out that the guy you had a one night stand with is actually a really decent person."

"It should be good right?" I groaned. "But it's not good, that's why he's marrying Gabby. Supposedly by marrying her, he can gain access to more money at his family company and help more people or something."

"So why can't he just marry you then?" She shrugged. "Why does it have to be Gabby? I'm sure his grandfather didn't say, you have to marry the biggest b.i.t.c.h you can find."

"Oh Alice." I giggled. "I think he feels a sense of obligation to her."

"Hmm, okay." Alice frowned. "So his problem is that he's too nice a guy?"

"I guess." I leaned back and sighed. "Though I don't know anyone that would call Xander a nice guy. s.e.xy, yes. Hot as h.e.l.l, yes. Good in bed, yes, but nice? I don't know." I giggled.

"Yeah, I wouldn't call him nice." Alice said. "More like jerk."

"So yeah, he said that he had a good time last weekend and that he missed me when I wasn't there in the morning and that he wasn't used to those feelings and that is why he proposed to Gabby."

"What?" Alice yawned and made a face. "Shut the front door! That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. He spent a night with a hot girl, having hot s.e.x and because she left in the morning, he decided to propose to another girl? Is he on drugs?"

"When you put it like that, it does sound a bit stupid." I sighed. "But he explained it better, he said it was because he wasn't used to having that depth of feelings."

"What depth of feelings?" Alice looked at me like I was crazy. "Look, I'm not trying to be a b.i.t.c.h here and tell me if I'm getting something wrong, but all you guys did is f.u.c.k. He went down on you at the wedding and then you guys spent a night in his hotel room f.u.c.king like dogs right?"

"Yes." I nodded.

"Were there any late night deep conversations you didn't tell me about? Did you realize you were soulmates?"

"We spoke a little bit, but nothing major." I conceded, as my heart dropped. "So you think he was lying to me?"

"I don't know." She sighed. "It just seems weird. 'I had s.e.x with you and you left and that made me sad' sounds fake. I think most guys would wake up feeling ecstatic if the girl they had just picked up was not there."

"Yeah, that's true." I sighed.

"And I mean, he's still with Gabby right? Did he say he would end things with her?"

"Nope." I said curtly. "He said he hoped I understood, but they had a business relationship."

"Bulls.h.i.t." She said and rolled her eyes. "He's full of s.h.i.t."

"Yeah, I guess so." I closed my eyes. "So that's why I wanted to leave this morning before everyone woke up."

"I understand." She said softly and reached over to hug me. "I'm sorry, Liv." She rubbed my back and before I knew it, I was crying. The tears poured out of me and I sobbed uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry," I hiccupped as she rubbed my back.

"Don't be." She said softly. "It's okay."

"I feel like such a fool. I don't know why I had my hopes up so high. I don't know why I thought this would be anything different." I spoke my thoughts out loud. "I just hoped that when he saw me again and touched me again, he would want me you know? I wanted to have that magical relationship that everyone else has, but me."

"I don't have it either." Alice said and I leaned back to see tears in her eyes.

"Oh Alice, what's wrong?" I stared at her face. "I'm sorry, I forgot to ask you what happened last night. Why were you so eager to leave early as well?"

"I don't want to talk about it." She bit her lower lip and looked down. "I made a mistake and I ruined everything."

"Oh Alice, what happened?" I said softly, my stomach sinking. What had she done?

"It doesn't matter." She shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it right now. I'll tell you later, okay?"

"Sure." I wiped a tear from her cheek. "I'm here for you anytime."

"I love you." She said with a sigh. "You're the best friend I could have wished for."

"You know I feel the same way about you." I smiled at her gratefully. "We may have lost the boyfriend lottery, but we own the friend lottery."

"Yeah, it's a pity we're not lesbians." She giggled through her tears. "Then we'd be able to live happily ever after."

"Are you hitting on me Alice?" I winked at her and she hit me on the shoulder.

"You never know." She giggled and wiped her eyes. "We'll find good guys one day."

"Yup, let's not look for them at the club though." I laughed as I remembered the previous evening. "I don't think we're going to meet any winners in the club."

"Yeah, ha ha." She stretched. "We can forget the guys at the club."